Am I doing the right thing?

[Viper]

have promised Ben a Guinea pig if he poo's on the toilet. He really wants one but he wont go. So today when he brought me his nappy I refused to put it on and instead took him to the toilet and made him sit there for a while. I made it fun, in fact we had quite a good laugh but no poo. This went on all day, he kept asking , begging and pleading for a nappy saying he had a tummy ache but I held out. We were still playing and having fun the whole time.

After tea I decided I had to put a nappy on him so he could poo. I took him to the toilet one more time and we read a story. Then I put the nappy on and we both agreed we would try again tomorrow.

 

The reason I gave in and put the nappy on is because when he goes to sleep I put a nappy on for the night and I know if he woke up in the morning he would use it so this way I have given him permission to poo and he hasn't won by just doing it, if that makes sense? Also I don't want him to get constipated and have his first experience of going on the loo to be one of pain.

 

Do you think what I am doing is ok or can you suggest anything else?

For those who don't know the circumstances, Ben is 5 and 4 months, has never pooed on a toilet and will only wee standing and only on our toilet.

 

Viper.

[rainbow queen]

i think your doing a great job

 

that is how i did it with my son,i must admit it seemed a bit cruel at times -i made him sit on loo for ages,then kept trying again

 

at times felt i was just sat in bathroom for most of day-i even did a sticker chart and said he could have a celebration choc for a wee and 2 for a poo.

it was not easy at all in fact he only just mastered it by 4 and still in nappies at night,and dont like wiping his bum when hes pooed.

 

one thing a teacher told me was to get a tin of prunes in there juice-and told me to give him prune juice 10 mins before sitting him on loo[not that he was constapated]-i used one of those injection what u get with medicine.he didnt like it but i made him

 

cause it works quick and he no choice to let the poo go-it wasnt cause he was constapated but just to help time it so he actually did that first poo in the loo-which i think was scaring him,then he did it and i really made a fuss and that helped learning him it was ok to poo on loo-im not saying it was quick but it helped and i kept at it-in fact had a friend who helped me cause at times i was bit soft and would give up but that helped me to perserve.we are talking hour at a time on loo

 

i really did think we would never do it at various points it was very hard work-i became dedicated poo lady

[bettybiscuit123]

I think you are doing a great job - toilet training, as you dont want him to get upset by it and get put off by it all, by making himself constipated. Rainbow queens ideas were fab with the ole prune juice!

I wonder if you could get a larger potty for older kids, whether that would help as it isnt too deep and there is no flush with scarey noise!

Anyway I think you are doing a fab job and hope things progress, just hang on in there!

[Brook]

Hi Viper,

 

I think you did the right thing and didn't make it an upsetting experience for everyone, especially Ben.

Sorry haven't got any advice, but dont know if anything helps at all on this link.(sorry if youve already

read it. ).

 

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=367&a=3366

 

Brook

[Paula]

My son was sevearly constipated with anal leakage.

 

yet still refused to sit on a toilet and have a poo.Wed to get some anal supositries that mmade his bowel contract to help him force the poo out.It was a right saga.

 

Anyhows even now its a battle to get him to go.He sits for ages or just leaps of the loo saying cant go when its obvious hes desperate.Ive to force him to stay put and waite.

 

I play hell especially if emerdale and corrie are on the box he goes eventually and always says he feels better.

 

 

Yuore doing great coz it aint easy.And people laugh when you say they hate the loo and stuff.

 

my son is terrrified of toilet paper has been for years.Ive treid everything.Altering the coolur usieng moist wipes alsorts but to no avail.He just refuses to touch it this means he wont wipe his own bottom so unfortunaltly even though hes 12 years old ive to do it.

 

yes ive tried thinking sod yer but the mess doesnt bother him and i dont want him to stink and be sore.Im hope eventually this fear will pass but it takeing years instead of months.

[melly]

My son is NOOOOO way near toilet training yet, but I have been thro it with my NT daughter and that was a struggle, so I do sympathise!

 

We have a behavioural therapist/psych attatched to the nursery he attends, and during a general parenting session she spoke of some ways to make toilet training a bit smoother.

 

She said that for children happy to poo in their nappies, but not on the toilet you could introduce them to the loo by putting their nappy on first and then sitting them on the loo. That way they would poo happily on the loo, but still into their nappy.

 

Stage 2 sounded a bit bizarre, cut a hole in the nappy at the back, put the nappy on as before then sit them on the loo. In theory they poo whilst in their nappy but the poo goes (mostly!) in the loo. Then you are supposed to show them where its gone etc. Then slowly work towards getting rid of the nappy altogether.

 

As I said, I haven't done this so I have no idea if it works or not but it may be worth a try. You might be able to get some more bizarre ideas from the NAS website or one of their leaflets/booklets.

 

Either way, best of luck

 

Melly

 

PS my daughter got over this hurdle thro complete chocolate bribery!!

[mel]

i am going through this with my son at the moment. he has a docs appt tonight to see if the doc has any ideas we havent tried. with S when we withheld the trainer pants he learnt to hold it in...lol. after a week of no poo we gave him the pants back. blessed relief for me and S. I hope it goes well for you! S is nearly 6 and his health visitor thinks maybe referring him to a psychologist might help. i do hope so!!

[board]

hello can i ask have you got any other children my daughter was a night mare untill one day she sore her little brother on the toilet haveing number 2 i said to him good boy well done count to 3 and flash it away later on that day she sat on the toilet and done a number 2 but the only thing i would say watch becouse she seen him do a number 1 and try that to you see i got 4 boys but if you got 2 girl or 2 boy they can show how to do it hope this helps jill

[Viper]

Thanks everyone for all you support and advice. We have tried all of the above soooo many times so this is the last resort, it has to work and I aint giving in till it does, could be a long time as Ben aint giving in either. It's toilet roll at ten paces at the moment.

 

I think the key to winning this is to make it a game and don't get too serious. Wrestling a 5 year old onto the loo is no easy feat but if it's done in a fun way it makes it easier, lots of tickles and say silly poo related things seem to help. It gets hard at times though when all you want to say is"for gods sake just have a sh*t would you." but I keep smiling.

[sylv]

Oh my....reading this post.... Nick is almost 10 and wears nappies at home. He fears the toilet since early age and wont go there.

 

I second Paula's story. Nick is dx several constipated with leakage. But also all this laxatives dont seem to do the trick. Hubby thinks he is lazy, I guess there is more...

 

Thank you Viper for this post, that let me feel no more that alone.

 

SylvXXX