Does my 9-year-old son have Aspergers?

[mrs_spongebob]

hi there everyone

am in need of your advice

 

when my son was in reception at school his teacher (who had experience in working with children wish special needs in the past) advised me that my son wasnt "normal".

 

she said she thought he was too bright for his age but "a bit odd" and indicated it looked like aspergers syndrome

 

we took him to the docs and he went for assessments at the hospital but got the all clear

 

since then i have just dismissed his off behaviour convinced there is nothing wrong (or have just been blissfully ignorant)

 

he is now 9 and it is starting to become a bit embarrassing

he still has no problems with his school work and is praised for his high abilities especially in maths

 

but he doesnt seem to be able to communicate very well with anyone

and when he does strike up a conversation its only about his interests (skateboarding, playstation, golf) which others arent really interested in

most kids will just walk away from him, adults tend to be polite and listen but is heartbreaking as u can see them thinking "i wish this kid would shut up"

 

when you talk to my son or ask him a question, he looks at you with a blank stare most of the time

he doesnt seem to be able to have a normal conversation and doesnt seem to understand simple instructions

 

a conversation i had with him thismorning is very typical:

we took a walk to the shop...

 

me: which house does Zach live in then? (neighbourhood kid)

R: erm i dont know, but i know where Zach lives

me: right!!!! so which house does Zach live in then?

R: I dont know

me: you have just told me you know which house Zach lives in?

R: I dont

me: so why did you say you did? so u def dont know which house Zach lives in?

R: yes - its that one - number 1

 

at my wits end i just look at him in a daze, he then makes up an excuse that he thought i said which house does the cat live in?!

there was a cat kicking about in the street at the time

 

what do you think?

any advice is welcome as i am really worried

[annie]

Hi Mrs_spongebob,

 

Welcome to the forum .

 

The following link will take you to The National Autistic Society's information sheet. What is Asperger's Syndrome?. It gives a detailed description which may be helpful to you.

 

This is a great forum, so if you have any questions, just ask.

 

Annie

xx

[nellie]

Hello Mrs. Spongebob (love the name) a very warm welcome to the forum.

 

What do I think? I think your son sounds delightful. I can understand your concerns but I can't say if your son has Asperger syndrome or not , but I do know you have come to the right place for support and information. Have a look at some of the many posts and you will get a better understanding of ASD. Any questions just ask, someone will always have an answer or at least point you in the right direction.

 

I can recommend a good book - Asperger's syndrome A guide for Parents and Professionals by Tony Attwood.

 

Nellie xx

[board]

hello nice to meet you just found out last week daughter has aspergers she is 6 there is a web site were you can do the test and see but i cant remeber were but my be someone on here will know my daughter is very bright you read a book to her once and shereads it back to you word for word i think it could be on this site i seen it on if i find it i will post it for you all the best jill

[Stephanie]

If you had rephrased that "where does Zack live?" .. would he have answered it differently??

 

Have you looked into Aspergers and the symptoms via the internet, when you do you might find some other things that you've missed. When I looked up autism on the internet, it was like someone had switched on a light and filled in all the missing gaps about my son.

 

Otherwise this is a great place to start!!

[Flora]

Hi Mrs_spongebob. Great name!!! Welcome to the forum.

 

Hope you find some answers to your questions. It's impossible to comment because obviously I don't know your son. William, my as son was always odd; but he didn't go down the dx route until he was nearly 9, we got a dx from an educational psychologist a month before his 9th birthday and a confirmed diagnosis after and assessment with a child psychiatrist and clinical psychologist. Basically what I'm saying is that sometimes the behaviours of AS can be overlooked until an age when most children start to show signs of maturity. I'm certainly not suggesting your son has AS but if you have concerns then it's a good idea to go back to your GP and ask for a referal.

 

Lauren

[Mummy21]

Hi Mrs SpongeBob,

 

My son is 8 years old and we are waiting on dx, he has shown all the qualities you have discribed above but echoing the rest of the post, without knowing him personally its impossible to say whether he has Asperger's or not. This link is the questionaire I read and filled out to take to my doctors........ It says its designed to identify behaviours and abilities indicative of Asperger's Syndrome in their primary years. It is taken from the book Nellie recommended, Asperger's syndrome: A guide for Parents and Professionals by Tony Attwood.

 

 

I think once you have done the list for yourself you will have a better idea whether or not he has it.

 

Questionaire: Does my child have Asperger's

 

A book I have found really useful is The Autistic Spectrum by Lorna Wing.

 

If there is anything else you need just ask.........

 

Joanne xxx

Edited April 21, 2006 by Mummy21

[BusyLizzie100]

Hi Mrs Spongebob,

 

Ultimately you know your son best and if you have doubts, then they're worth looking into.

 

My son was diagnosed with AS at seven, which is relatively early - the average age for dx is about nine - and that was mainly because we had had a real eye-opener with his younger son, who was dx ASD at an earlier age, so we had an idea of what we were dealing with.

 

I really don't think my AS son would have been given a dx when he was five, although he was having OT for coordination difficulties. It seems to have got much more apparent in the last year (he's 81/2 now) and getting more so. Not that I think he's getting worse, it's just that other kids develop in a certain way and his way is different and he gets left behind. He's very, very bright, too.

 

There's no reason why you can't get him looked at again - maybe by someone else? In the meantime, there are loads of great links on this forum (has anyone already mentioned www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/).

 

Keep talking to the folks on this forum as they're a very friendly, helpful bunch!

 

Lizzie

[Mummy21]

Thats the link in my post Lizzie........

 

I agree everyone here is so helpful and kind......... I know I have said this in several posts but I feel so lucky to have found this site....... I felt so lonely before and isolated, like it was only me that understood, and now there are sooooo many I feel normal LOL

 

Joanne xxx

[OPooh]

Hi and welcome.

 

Obviously from that short post I couldn't say either way BUT it does sound exactly what happened with me too. My son was assessed at 2 and got the all clear and now at 9 it seems he is going to be getting a dx of it. Yours sounds very much like mine too.

 

Have the school said anything? have you seen a paed or doctor?

[mrs_spongebob]

hi there

 

thanks so much for the lovely replies <'>

 

i took my son to the docs today and he has referred him for assessment

he says that it does point towards some sort of autism but its such a large spectrum

 

i just feel so relieved that at least someone is going to look into it

 

i have been getting really annoyed with R lately and then feeling so guilty because it may not be his fault

 

my hormones dont help at the minute - only 5 weeks to go til baby no. 2 !!!

and a house move coming shortly hopefully within next few weeks

 

i just hope R is going to be able to cope with all the changes

 

thanks again everyone, i have a great feeling that i have come to the right place for support

 

xxxxxxx

[phasmid]

Blimey!!

 

No stress in your house then!!!!

 

Hope the GP sends you in the right direction, the house move goes OK and, somewhere amongst all of that, baby no2 pops smoothly into the world.

[lancelot]

My son (now 9, Asperger's) adored his little sister from the first scan onwards -- he said he preferred babies to older children as they're more appreciative and let you practise talking to them.

 

Good luck!

L xx

[cmuir]

Hi

 

Difficult to tell. I'm no expert, but with my own son whose 4.5, I knew since he was 15 months old that something wasn't right. Tantrums were prolonged and horrific. Basically, the response from him was disproportionate to the trigger. I can only describe my son's behaviour as odd. He hits himself in the face and head, bangs his head of solid plaster walls and doesn't seem to feel it. He has great difficulty interacting with others appropriately eg yesterday he gatecrashed a group of older boys football game. He kicked his own ball to them and they responded. He ended up playing with them for 50 minutes and although he was having a great time, he made no conversation with them whatsover. I guess, I'm saying that it would have been an appropriate response to have spoken to the boys first and perhaps asked if he could join in or something along those lines. If we're out for a walk and someone even looks at it, all hell breaks loose ? he can start shouting with a very angry and exhaggerated facial expression and tell them not to look at him. In general, he's very controlling. The most obvious characteristic of his behaviour is his unpredictability.

 

I'm certain that everyone on the forum who may tell you a bit about their children, will tell you something the same or entirely different. No two children are the same. It is something with is difficult to diagnose since people are expected to tick every box. In reality, that's doesn't happen. Eg some characteristics in someone that's already been diagnosed may be lack of affection, poor eye contact, poor imagination ? I've read time and time again, that these traits aren't set in stone.

 

Hope I've not confused you further, but my advice is to read up on it. If you have a nagging doubt or a gut feeling, stick with it like glue and don't let anyone (including specialists ? they don't always get it right) tell you that you're crazy. I'm still battling for a formal diagnosis, and what we need to be mindful of is that specialists clock on at 9, finish at 5 and that's it. As parents we know our children better than anyone and that's what you need to keep telling yourself.

 

I know that sometimes I'm worried if I've become obsessed looking for 'signs'. It can be really difficult because lots of traits on their own aren't necessarily anything to worry about (lots of normal people have some traits), however collectively a very different picture can build up.

 

I wish you all the best and hope you get the answers you're looking for.

 

Caroline.