any ideas

[mel]

have yet again been called into school. DS (6) behaviour is getting steadily worse. he wont do as he is asked, he is loud and disruptive and over the past few months seems to be spending more time outside class, in time out corner or in with the deputy head than in his classroom. have not yet got dx so i cant really explain to teachers what his problem is - they wont accept it til i have formal dx.

 

Has anyone got any ideas how i can encourage him to behave. He has such a short attention span and bad memory that he forgets when i try to bribe him with rewards etc. i have been told that if his behaviour gets any worse he will be excluded.

 

at my wits end trying to explain what i 'think' his problems are. roll on dx.

[LKS]

Hi Mel <'> is your ds on school action or school action plus. I thought the whole point of devolving funds directly to schools is that you don't have to wait for dx, support can be put in place as soon as there is a need How are the school helping your son at the moment, what support is he getting?

[mel]

School are not really doing anything yet. Without dx i cant seem to get them to take me seriously. they keep sending his work home with him because he is misbehaving and not doing it at school. I have been into school with a loooong list of all his problems but they just look at me blankly and ask when he will be getting dx. grrrrr

[Suze]

Mel.........where,ve you been??............I think I,d be on to whoever is going to see him re dx and get that appointment moving,explain the situation with school and the threatened expulsion.Has the school called any outside agencies in........cos they should be.........behaviour support........autism advisor..........ed physch.........It,s rubbish they need a dx ..what they need to do is help your boy with some stratergies and support.My son was like this at 6 ........they found out he played up because he could,nt do the work .They discovered he was dyslexic..........hows your boys reading and writing etc?

[Zemanski]

is he waiting to see CAMHS or is he already in the process of being assessed?

 

The thing is, that if school won't change the way they are managing him and he is on the verge of exclusion you can do very little to stop it happening

 

Parent partnership might be able to persuade them to look at his needs again, or IPSEA may be able to do so, but it's unlikely. Schools and LEAs are supposed to act on suspicion of an ASC according to the DFES good practice guidance but most will not unless pressurised.

 

You could ring the psychology service at social inclusion (the number should be on the LEA website or available through the main switchboard) and ask to speak to the ed psycho about your concerns - has he seen an ed psych? If not you should request that he does but it is unlikely now that it will be before Sept. Ours was very helpful and did manage to persuade school to change but Com already had a diagnosis.

 

You could also ring the autism outreach service (contact through social inclusion) - they are variable but ours was great.

 

Also ring CAMHS and tell them he is in crisis and they may be able to see him sooner.

 

The one good thing about exclusion is that it shows they are not meeting his needs and might precipitate action on the part of the LEA or CAMHS - it also might give him a break to recover.

 

Stay strong

 

Zemanski

[stressedmumto2]

If your son is having these problems the school should be calling in outside agencies, they don't need a dx to do this. Is he up to targets with his peers? If he isn't and the school are not listening to you when you say what his problems are it is more than likely they too don't know how to manage him appropiatly.

 

The school do not need a dx to get things moving.

 

Get an appointment with a paeditrician as soon as possible as a matter of urgency.

 

Ask the school to get the behavioural outreach support in that's one of the first steps they can do or you could ask the school to break his work down into targets and rewrad him in the school using visuals so he know's what he's working for.

 

My own son will not remember me telling him he can have something after school if he behaved in the morning. It needs to be visual and he needs it to be re-enforced whilst he is at school.

 

He needs lots of praise for small amounts of work he is doing, not being punished for everything he is doing wrong, how will that build up his confidence and self-esteem.

 

Your boy needs support in school, with no support he will more than likely fail.

 

Write to the school by e-mailor letter and suggest a meeting with them immediatly, they have fobbed you off for too long. Ifthey still wont listen request for a statement. Whether or not he has a dx he still has problems that need adressing and needs help at school.

 

Sending you a hug <'>

[Karen A]

The help provided in school should be provided according to educational need not Dx.We were in a similar position and requested Stat Assessment on the basis of school being unable to provide for Bens needs.We used the fact that Ben was spending time out of class without support as reason to assess him.I would write to the head stating that you are aware that if your child is excluded and is found to have a disability you would consider this to be discrimination and would take advice regarding further action.If you have not contacted Parent partnership it would be worth enlisting their support.Also ask for a copy of the school behaviour policy.If they consider the situation is bad enough to be talking about exclusion then the behaviour management team should be involved.We also asked for a written record to be kept of all the occasions when Ben was asked to leave the class.In Bens case no amount of bribes,threats,time outs would work because his problems are due to stress and lack of social understanding.Routine discipline strategies do not solve these problems and only isolated him making him resentful leading to more outbursts.If you have referal to CAMHS it would also be worth contacting them to say things are deteriorating in school .Keep detailed records of all contact with the school and problems so that you have them for info later.Hope this helps Karen.

Edited June 28, 2006 by Karen A

[Tez]

Hi Karen,

 

I agree with all the above suggestions. The school should be acting to meet his needs without a dx but the reality is that it is hard to budge them. Would do as Zemanski suggests and phone the EP for advice.

 

From personal experience, although the circumstances were a little different, the most important thing is to get the dx, then you have a club to beat them about the head with and they have something to focus their understanding of his problems on. Our GP cut a 18 month wait for dx down to 2 days (saw him on the Wednesday, he phoned the hospital and refused to move until A had an appointment for the Friday) when A was in crisis. They have far more clout than parents in moving the immovable mountain for that all important appointment. Would suggest that you see your GP and ask for help. Make a list of all problems not just school but home as well and stress the impact that it is having on you, your family and other children at school as well, not just your son. Good Luck and <'>

[phasmid]

AS others have already said, the school are not coping and this is already impacting on his education, now! They cannot use the excuse of not having a dx - that is utterly ridiculous and is a blatant cop-out. They should be addressing his needs, not his dx (if/when he gets one). Ask them to show you his IEP or his BSP and then ask them to explain what they ARE doing. right now, to meet the targets set out in them. If the answer comes back that he hasn't got one or the other (or either) of these ask them why the hell not when it is quite clear they need some clear strategies in place to deal with his behaviour. If they cannot, or will not, provide you with the answers to these questions complain to the head and then, if necessary, the CoG.

[Zemanski]

forgot about the chair of governors - they can sometimes give a school a pretty good kick up the backside if you tell them what is going on, they don't like complaints going further

 

Zemanski

[mel]

Suze, he cannot read or write very well yet, well - if im being honest he cant read or write at all.

 

I am going to get in touch with parent partnership today. i am angry about the way school is treating him, the latest is that they have told me to put him on packed lunches because he is disruptive in the dining room. the head is going to get a piece of my mind this morning also. The school originally told me they could cope with his needs so there was no need to get anyone else involved. im through with listening to them.

 

thanks all for your advice i am going to be taking all of it.

 

<'> <'> <'>

[Suze]

hi mel............get the senco to look into dyslexia........don,t let them tell you he,s too young.......or the ed physch ideally ........has his work improved on last year........which level is he working at.Id also write to the head with your concerns so that these are filed.........and they can,t forget about any conversation you may have with them about this.Suzex <'>

[Karen A]

Suze, he cannot read or write very well yet, well - if im being honest he cant read or write at all.

 

I am going to get in touch with parent partnership today. i am angry about the way school is treating him, the latest is that they have told me to put him on packed lunches because he is disruptive in the dining room. the head is going to get a piece of my mind this morning also. The school originally told me they could cope with his needs so there was no need to get anyone else involved. im through with listening to them.

 

thanks all for your advice i am going to be taking all of it.

 

<'> <'> <'>

Hi Mel sorry the school are being so ****.Re packed lunches they are digging a bigger hole for themselves.This is yet another case of discrimination.Don't let them fobb you off.Karen

[mel]

hi mel............get the senco to look into dyslexia........don,t let them tell you he,s too young.......or the ed physch ideally ........has his work improved on last year........which level is he working at.Id also write to the head with your concerns so that these are filed.........and they can,t forget about any conversation you may have with them about this.Suzex <'>

 

His work has not improved over the last year,, he started the year with 5 spellings to learn, I, up, look, like and where. the only one he can spell is I. i have an appointment with the senco on monday. will ask about dyslexia. thanks suze <'>

[Suze]

hi mel we were fed the line .........."we have no more allocated hours this year with the ed physch " so we persued the dyslexia via a private dx through the dyslexia institute.........which is expensive ....................I would push the school to get the ed physch in asap in sept and to look and assess your son.