Heading for breakdown, I know it! :(

[Tylers-mum]

T (7, HFA) is asking constant questions about meanings of words. Everything he hears he asks what it means such as 'Sorry', Whatever', 'Ready', 'Gasp', 'Get set', 'Oh No', 'No way', etc etc etc etc. Everything he hears on the TV or what someone says to me, he asks me what it means. My head is gonna blow. I try to think of how best to explain the meanings of these words but it's CONSTANT now. It's not like a question here and there, it's all the time!

 

I'm gonna snap soon b/c I can't take much more of this.

 

Makes me realise just how bad his understand of verbal words are!

Edited July 2, 2006 by Tylers-mum

[cmuir]

Hi

 

Can't be easy, but you have to tell yourself that your son is asking questions for a reason ? because he's learning. Let me illustrate ... my son is 4.5 and asks loads of questions requiring very detailed answers eg takeaway man came to door with a plaster on his finger. My son asked what it was, reply was gardening, son asked how he did it in his garden, etc etc. Poor delivery guy was quite perplexed! Also, asks neighbours loads of questions. They were putting garden chairs away and he asked what they were doing. On one occasion they replied they were going up blackpool tower and on another said they were going to the moon. I was livid and had to bite my tongue! Saw d***head this morning. There was no way I was letting this go! I presented him with a leaflet on AS and said that I thought it was a good idea to make people around Robert aware of exactly what this disability means/traits. I went on to say that Robert, as he's already noticed, asks lots of questions requiring detailed answers. I admitted that this can be tiresome, but giving the kind of answers that he and his wife gave him confused him resulting in more questions. Not only that, it's downright sarcasm and I certainly wouldn't speak to a young child (or anyone else) like that. I suggested that it was much better to tell him that they were busy and would speak to him another time rather than ignoring him or giving him sarcastic answers. Result! I believe I made him feel a little embarassed and perhaps ashamed. At that moment my son appears asking him what he's doing. It was a bit of an ice breaker.

 

It is tiresome answering lots of questions, but your son is obviously learning which is great. Try to keep your cool. I know it's not easy.

 

Caroline.

[jb1964]

Hi TM,

 

I know it drains the life out of you when they constantly question the meaning of everything and as much as you try to and answer them - sometimes it's very difficult to put into words explanations that they understand without them getting upset/anxious or frustrated when the meaning isn't enough. It also seems very often that it is a bit of an OCD kind of thing with my daughter as she follows me around the house - and will try to corner me in a room.

 

I find there are times when I can handle it better and times when I don't cope with it either. My daughter is definitely worse with me than with my hubby (and usually he does nothing because he get's very very angry with her and then we end up rowing) - although over the past couple of weeks my hubby knows how close I am to walking out so he's been trying his best to diffuse it by removing my daughter (which believe me can only be done by force) from my space - do you have someone who can give you some space...

 

Stay strong and take care,

Jb

Edited July 2, 2006 by jb1964

[Tylers-mum]

Thanks cmuir and jb.

Edited July 2, 2006 by Tylers-mum

[Tylers-mum]

jb - Only the school but he doesn't ask questions there. I ask him when he's come home from school and is asking questions which he's obviously picked up in school and I ask him why he hasn't asked his teacher, he says he don't know. Makes we wonder just how much he is actually learning there.

Edited July 2, 2006 by Tylers-mum

[jb1964]

jb - Only the school but he doesn't ask questions there. I ask him when he's come home from school and is asking questions which he's obviously picked up in school and I ask him why he hasn't asked his teacher, he says he don't know. Makes we wonder just how much he is actually learning there.

 

My daughter is similar too - she doesn't ask in school and rarely asks my husband she reserves that privilege to me!!!! I think they reserve it for where they feel most comfortable - and once she starts in that kind of mode there is no switching it off.

 

You sound like you're in desperate need of some 'time out' - I don't know much about services or what's available I hope someone comes along soon with some good advice for you.

 

Take care, chin up,

Jb

[Viper]

Ben is doing this a bit at the mo. His most difficult so far have been "how do babies get in their mummy's tummy?" and "what does Gay mean?"

 

I struggled a bit with the second one, how do you explain to a 5 year old about gay people when you have just been telling them how babies are made?

[cmuir]

No problem.

 

Hope I didn't come across as being critical. I know it's not easy being bombarded with loads of questions constantly. Meant to add that my son repeats a lot of what he hears. It wasn't until a recent ADOS assessment was carried out that I realised the full extent of his language problems too. We actually only got a diagnosis on 5 May 10 days after the ADOS. During the assessment he was asked what makes him happy and what makes him sad ? those types of questions. He couldn't answer then until being prompted by the Speech & Language Therapist. She told him she was sad when her cat died. He responded by saying he was sad when his dog died ? we don't have a dog! Robert came out whilst I was effectively giving my neighbour a ticking off and said 'David sucks'. I managed not to blush because I knew he had no idea of what that meant ? he'd obviously heard it from an older child. Also, Robert wanted me to play 'Pie Rangers'!

 

Best wishes.

 

Caroline.

[stressedmumto2]

CMUIR I can honestly say I wish I could have seen your neighbours faces, lol.

 

Reminds me of when my son wanted me to callthe police on my neighbours kids because they were holding a bag and they said they had a gun in it and was going to shoot him (this was the first sign of how I really begun to understand just how much he believed other people) it was question after question "mum what will you do if he shoots me" argh I could of killed the lil ###### myself, lol

 

Tyler's mum as others have said even though it is very tiring it is also his way of learning and it's a good thing, maybe you could do him a book with some example sentences where you might use the words or illustrations, expressions of peoples faces where they may have just used the different phrases, colloquialism's, slang etc.

 

I don't know if there are any books around already but there probably are.

 

Here's a hug, endless questions are tiring <'>

[phasmid]

Vioer - Honestly would be my advice. Obviously it would have to be an age appropriate response but you mustn't mislead him - it'll come back to haunt you in the end if you try!

 

I read somewhere that this is a form of reassurance that the word always have the same meaning. Also he could be just using it to try and practice his verbal questioning skills 'If I ask xxxxx do I always get y response?' Have I phrased it correctly - not that he would see it quite like that.

Edited July 2, 2006 by phasmid

[Tylers-mum]

stressedmum - I soo wish there was a book like that. I did see a dictionary for Autistics but dunno if that's any good.

Gonne call CAMHS tomorrow b/c I need help, I can't go on like this.

[Viper]

Don't worry Phas I did tell him the truth. It went something like this-:

 

Well. most ladies love a man and most men love a woman. And when they love each other they get married. But some men love another man and the same for ladies. Then they get married. There is nothing wrong with that it is just that some people are different and thats ok.

 

He seemed to understand. I am just waiting now for the inevitable question. How do they have babies.

[jb1964]

Hi TM,

 

Just hoping you're feeling a little better this morning.

 

Take care,

Jb

[KarenT]

I did see a dictionary for Autistics but dunno if that's any good.

Was it this one?

 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1843101...ce&n=266239

 

I have a flick through it every now and again and it's come in handy once or twice when J's needed an explanation that I couldn't provide off the top of my head. I think we'll use it more often as he gets older - in KS1 language is very basic and direct, whereas from Y3 teachers start to talk more naturally and use more figures of speech. This book has explanations of expressions, plus some derivations, and a star system to indicate level of impoliteness. Worth having on the bookshelf, I'd say.

 

Karen

x

[PinkSapphireAngel]

Luke is 11 and is constantly asking what words mean and yes not in school or to his dad, but just me.

Sometimes its really hard to explain some words and soem words mean different things in different contexts aswell.