'Things get better'

[Tilly]

I know my daughter will never be 'cured' but I was always led to believe that things would get better, when I have spoken to other parents of children with ASD.

 

Dd was dxd at the age of 3. She had very little speech but was a sociable little thing who enjoyed (well I always thought she did, but we never know do we) going on hols, shopping, swimming baths, parks, cinema etc. Now as she is getting older she seems very anxious, worries about things that have never bothered her before and is quite happy to stay in the house in her comfort zone. I sometimes feel that her progress is taking a step backwards, and I see her classmates coming on leaps and bounds attending after school clubs etc, and becoming much more sociable.

 

Did anyone elses child seem to lose some of their skills and seem to come out the other side. I'm not sure whether it is an age thing and she is becoming more aware or its her ASD.

 

I also think a lot of it is down to me also because when I suggest something which is meant to be fun and she says she doesn't want to go I just let her stay at home, as sometimes I haven't the energy to fight. Do you think I should make her go little and often or not?

 

I'd welcome any comments or past experiences

 

Tilly

[karin]

hi tilly my 2 were exactley the same but i have encouraged them to join a footy team and they love it,but at times they want to stay at home in their pyjamas with the curtains shut i think with children like ours its swings and roundabouts some days my 2 want to stay outdoors till the cows come home and other days they dont want to know the outside world i think its their way of coping with things keep trying to coax her to do things it will improve good luck keep smilin luv karin

[poppy]

I wouldnt say things get better-the problems change and some things dont seem to be such BIG probs after a while.

At a coffee morning for AS parents on thurs I asked if I was silly to feel guilty because we didnt force our son to go out and do things-like at half term when all he did was play the ps2 indoors.

I got told not to feel guilty. Go with it -if thats what makes him happy.

We've tried going places and encouraging but it only causes tears , resentment and us to be disapointed and weary cos we feel like lousy parents again cos we havent been able to provide him with something he enjoys or makes him happy.

Enjoy the bits you can.

[jb1964]

Hi Tilly,

 

Personally for us I think it's just that things change rather than they get better. As my daughter has got older she's changed - things become more noticable and what caused her massive anxieties in the past aren't so bad now - she's just moved onto new anxieties.

 

For example when she was little she liked the same spoon, same cup, same drink, same food, etc etc. These days she's better with those kind of things - it's more of the verbal words/understanding/frustrations that kick it off.

 

My daughters 13 and we've had periods all through her life when we've desperately tried (and she's wanted to be at certain times in her life) to get her involved more socially (ie. friends over/clubs etc) and others when she wants to be on her own and is happy that way. I do think though it is very difficult for them when they start to become aware more of their differences.

 

Take care,

Jb