Viper Report post Posted July 13, 2006 Ok lets get this right. Dodo's school has a place in France that they own. they have trips out there and there are strict rules. One of the rules is that they are not allowed to take mobile phones. There are others like no makeup, no eating in the dorms, no jewelry etc. I make no excuses for her, she took her mobile with her, someone else got caught with food and she told on Dodo. They searched her belongings, she got caught and had it taken away. They then tried to get her to tell them who else had broken the rules and said if she did she would get a "lesser sentence." Dodo said she didn't know if anyone else had broken the rules so she got suspended. Apparently (we briefly spoke to the school) and there were other incidences too. The school have still got her mobile and are refusing to give it back until after her suspension, at a meeting on Tuesday. Dodo said one teacher in particular was nasty to her for the whole 4 days. Dodo was ill when she went with a throat infection, but still wanted to go. I gave her paracetamol that she handed to the teacher. The teacher wouldn't let her take them when she needed to and Dodo couldn't eat due to pain. She spent most of the time unable to take part in the activities due to a high temperature. She was even made to get up at 6 one morning to cook breakfast. The French lady who runs the place told the teacher she was too ill but the teacher still made her do it. Dodo feels she was victimised the whole time. There was also a boy who spent the whole 4 days, how I can only describe as, groping the girls. He, in Dodos words, touched her boobs constantly, was always grabbing at her, pushing her, holding onto her, and at one point grabbed her by the neck with his face right up to hers just staring into her eyes. And wouldn't let her go. She and others reported this to the teachers but they said, he had anger management problems. And as far as they know nothing was done about him, well he didn't stop. I don't know where to go from here and what to say in the meeting. I don't think they should be able to keep her Phone and I know her AS was not taken into consideration at all the whole time she was there. The poor girl has asked me to de-register her and HE next year. I am looking into things now. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted July 13, 2006 Ok lets get this right. Dodo's school has a place in France that they own. they have trips out there and there are strict rules. One of the rules is that they are not allowed to take mobile phones. There are others like no makeup, no eating in the dorms, no jewelry etc. That's fair enough. They have every right to impose rules. I make no excuses for her, she took her mobile with her, someone else got caught with food and she told on Dodo. They searched her belongings, she got caught and had it taken away. They then tried to get her to tell them who else had broken the rules and said if she did she would get a "lesser sentence." Dodo said she didn't know if anyone else had broken the rules so she got suspended. Apparently (we briefly spoke to the school) and there were other incidences too. The school have still got her mobile and are refusing to give it back until after her suspension, at a meeting on Tuesday. I don't know if there are hard and fast rules on confiscation of property - I'd have to check. Wherever I have come across this sort of thing it is normal practice for the property to be returned to a parent at the EARLIEST opportunity (this is certainly the case where I work). This may vary from school to school so the best place to check would be the discipline and behaviour policy and see what it says. Make sure they are following their own rules on this. Dodo said one teacher in particular was nasty to her for the whole 4 days. Dodo was ill when she went with a throat infection, but still wanted to go. I gave her paracetamol that she handed to the teacher. The teacher wouldn't let her take them when she needed to and Dodo couldn't eat due to pain. She spent most of the time unable to take part in the activities due to a high temperature. She was even made to get up at 6 one morning to cook breakfast. The French lady who runs the place told the teacher she was too ill but the teacher still made her do it. This needs to be the subject of a formal complaint (IMO). This action hardly equates to being 'in loco parentis'!! I would be wanting answers over this. If this was a further pnishment due to the phone that is a double whammy at least and, as you say below, victimisation at worst! Either way : Unacceptable! Dodo feels she was victimised the whole time. I'll bet she did. There was also a boy who spent the whole 4 days, how I can only describe as, groping the girls. He, in Dodos words, touched her boobs constantly, was always grabbing at her, pushing her, holding onto her, and at one point grabbed her by the neck with his face right up to hers just staring into her eyes. And wouldn't let her go. She and others reported this to the teachers but they said, he had anger management problems. And as far as they know nothing was done about him, well he didn't stop. This is assault! If it happened in the street it would be treated as such - the fact it happened elsewhere does not lessen that. He should have been subjected to a high level of supervision the whole time. Again this needs to be the subject of a formal complaint. The teachers excuse of 'he has anger management problems' simply does not wash. His problems should not be an excuse for what happened. Where was his supervision? Was a 'risk assessment' carried out regarding his attendence. I would be reporting this to the police! She WAS sexually assaulted. I don't know where to go from here and what to say in the meeting. I don't think they should be able to keep her Phone and I know her AS was not taken into consideration at all the whole time she was there. The poor girl has asked me to de-register her and HE next year. I am looking into things now. I have made my suggestions. I would be getting that letter in PDQ as well. She (imo) will have to swallow the punishment for the phone - although it needs to fit 'the crime' as it were. An exclusion may seem rather harsh. I would want answers regarding the other issues...and NOW! HTH Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sallya Report post Posted July 13, 2006 Viper, that's awful <'> They haven't been very clear about why she has been suspended. What other incidences? Why wouldn't they give her simple painkillers when she's feeling unwell? Why did nobody stop the boy from harassing her or take her and the other girls seriously when they reported what he was doing? So much about this trip that is very wrong, no wonder poor Dodo feels so bad . s xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted July 13, 2006 They then tried to get her to tell them who else had broken the rules and said if she did she would get a "lesser sentence." Also, on re-reading things I do not like this at all. Since when are school punishments issued via an american style 'plea bargin' system? If she broke a rule she broke a rule and any punishment should be issued accordingly and not on the basis of whether or not she could 'dob' anyone else in to get a "lesser sentence." I'd be complaining about this too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted July 13, 2006 This trip sounds pretty horrendous...........on the subject of the boys and his wandering hands.........was it just your daughter he did this too or others?I bet she,s glad to be home <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viper Report post Posted July 13, 2006 (edited) Dodo wasn't the only one he assaulted, there were several girls in tears over the whole thing. The French lady did say she had noticed him and was going to report it. But she just looks after the residence so has no say in discipline. They are going to send a letter tomorrow with a time for the meeting on Tuesday, when they will tell us what else went on to warrant the suspension. I get the feeling from Dodo that she "spoke her mind" and the teacher didn't like it. But that is Dodo and any other AS kid I have ever met. They say what they think. In the past the school have not even been aware of her AS DX, even though it is on her records. I have no doubt that she wasn't treated as having AS. The breakfast thing, everyone has to take a turn but Dodo was clearly ill and being refused her Paracetamol, resulting in her feeling very bad. There are numerous other things that Dodo has said. Like she was cold, due to being ill and the teacher refused to let her change into trousers and a jumper, her friend said she had blue lips and was shaking. I could go on, there is a lot more that she said but as with AS kids she only tells us bits and pieces, we have to prise things out of her and only get fragments. Edited July 13, 2006 by Viper Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted July 13, 2006 Viper, this trip sounds horrific What with them refusing to give your dd her painkillers, threatening her with lesser sentences...huh? this a school trip or court?......making her cook meals when clearly ill and preventing her from changing into warmer clothes....she is then subjected to being touched up....then has her mobile taken from her, and it isn't returned as soon as poss......OMG I'm lost for words Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viper Report post Posted July 13, 2006 When you put it like that Baggy it sounds more like a concentration camp. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smallworld Report post Posted July 14, 2006 It does I think it should have been a member of staff excluded not your daughter ! My son is great one for saying his mind (as we call it ) in other words, he tells the truth !! Not always palatable to the teacher concerned I think not caring for a child in your care who is ill ( and has said so !) is plain negligent. Poor Dodobird, I hope she's feeling better now, wac Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justamom Report post Posted July 14, 2006 Also, on re-reading things I do not like this at all. Since when are school punishments issued via an american style 'plea bargin' system? If she broke a rule she broke a rule and any punishment should be issued accordingly and not on the basis of whether or not she could 'dob' anyone else in to get a "lesser sentence." I'd be complaining about this too. Absolutely right Phasmid, surely taking a mobile phone is not that bigger crime!! and TBH most kids would not dob there mates in that was totoally unfair of them to do this to her!!! The whole trip seems to have been a b*lls*p. I hope it goes well with the meeting! Good luck! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
