How do i combat this one

[lynyona]

Im sure this as been discussed before on forum.My ds who is 20 has a big problem with not getting washed or showered ect.It is getting so that he is a smelly individual(phew)he is under the impression that he only gets washed if you are going anywhere and he doesnt so he wont. Because of sensory isssues he wont change his clothes either.Ive bellowed at him insulted him about being smelly and he just say so.I cant believe that he doesnt smell himself so he leaves his odour where ever he goes around the house which isnt pleasant especially for visitors which thankfully we rarely have (i wonder why) Any thoughts on how to get rund this will be gratefully rcieved, i will say he doesnt act to bribery ive tried it.

 

 

lynn

[Paula]

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My son is 12 and the same.

 

He hates getting showered ,refuses to wear deaodarent and will only change his clothes if pushed.

 

Of course i can still force him into the water when it gets too much but only just as hes getting bigger and older.

 

Sometimes he realy whiffs of sweat.I let him choose his own deodarant coz he hated sprays,didnt like roll ons and ended up with a solid stick but he wont use it ive to at times force it on him amongst much yelling.

 

I dont know what to suggest but ther is a book available called "personal hygene,whats that got to do with me" you can find it at this link.Ive used the site or you can phone to place orders.

 

 

http://www.jkp.com/catalogue/book.php/contents/9781843107965

Edited August 25, 2006 by Paula

[lynyona]

Hi Paula

 

kieran will only use the solid stick type deodorant and i long gave up trying to put him in the shower or bath he s 6ft 2 lol.Its not a body odour smell its an undescribe able smell,imagine a teenage bedroom smell 10 fold, my eldest have even said smells like someones died in , id be offended at that he doesnt batter an eye lid, thats how bad it can be.I think i will try the book and see how i go from there or its take him in the garden and just turn the hose on him and that would solve two problems in one.wash him and also his clothes lol i shouldnt laugh its getting beyond a joke now.

 

 

lynn

[Flora]

Not sure how you'd deal with this in an older person.

 

I have implemented showers, deodrant, hair gel etc... all as an intrinsic part of the routine for my 12yo. He's almost automotic but does need quite alot of supervision and reminding.

 

Sorry I can't be of much help. Does he have any insentives? Would he be interested in what girls though of him? etc

 

Flo'

[oracle]

I can't offer any advice either really. I too have built personal hygene into the routine for both boys because I had some terrible years with David who just would not get bathed or change his clothes. I started binning em and he eventually ran out. However I got tough and told him that the PC and his games machine would be binned to if he did not play ball. Now he could not see the need to bath but I could so I just stuck to my guns. But I know that you play in a different ball game to me. To begin with it was once a week and he would huff and puff and blow the house down but now he is in the bath every day ofhis own free will.

 

Matthew now aged 9 and sitting opposite me looking as if he is employed as a chimmney sweep is going the same way as David and can't see the need. But again this lady is not for turning.

 

I know you say that he does not respond to bribery but what about food is that a motivator? I am not suggesting that you with-hold food. Maybe make something he can not resist and then say no bath no Spag Bol - which would be the carrot in this house. It's just a thought probably a bad one.

 

Oracle

[lynyona]

Well after battling with him for nearly an hour i got his hair washed and he went in the shower,even changed his putrid bedding because in temper he had ripped all the bedding off saved me a job,even got to cut his claws for him,he still kept yelling im not going anywhere or no ones coming then my eldest shouted loudly at him silence,so i suggested that once a week a day he wants we will shower shave and change his bedding he did agree but we ll see what next week brings but for now he s smelling a lot better thanks for all your suggestions.

 

 

 

 

lynn

[oracle]

Well done you!!! I am not being sarcastic because I know just how hard it is to get them to do something they don't want to do. Also know about the putrid temper. Did he rip his sheets - David used to when he was in a temper - also his clothes that how come he HAD to have new ones.

 

Oracle

[lil_me]

Sounds like you made some goood progress, hope it continues, if all else fails bribe him or invite people round every day

[lynyona]

Oracle

No luckily he d not tore the sheets but we did have another out burst dad being dad just put any old quilt cover on and not one of his own lol, id have known better.

 

Lil me id not thought of that one lol

[lil_me]

Would x might be calling over today every other day, or every few days help, pressuming he won't catch you out of course. Then once he's got into a routine of it and realised it isn't hard work or scary let it drop a little and see how he goes. I used this to get my little lad to wear pants, as he was starkers 24/7. Worked a treat. Edited August 26, 2006 by lil_me

[dooday24]

REECE IS ONLY 5 AND DOSNT LIKE HAVNG A BATH OR GETTING CHANGED ALWAYS GOES TO BED IN SAME CLOTHES HES WORN IN THE DAY WHICH IS A BIT OF A NIGHT MARE AS HE WETS THE BED SO MUCH WAS HOPING IT GOT BETTER!!!!!

[lynyona]

Dooday24

 

I forgot to put that in my original post that kieran went to bed in the same clothes he d had on all day.and for kieran im sure its a sensory thing as he will only wear one favourite pir of bottoms so you can imagine thats also a problem in itself he says others dont feel the same,ive ven bought him identical ones but to no avail,so on the off chncei get them off him they are washed dried and straught back on again.Maybe reece will be different he is only little.He hasnt always been like this probably started after he left school,because he didn have to leave the house then.

 

 

lynn

[niki]

i think most of us have the "get the p.j's washed and dried quick" moments trick is the same so funny tho seeing a tall 9 year old going to bed in a 5 year olds pajamas!

[PinkSapphireAngel]

I can so see Luke being like it when he's that age.

At 11 1/2 and definately starting puberty (hair and sweat smell)

 

He has ASD/Dyspraxia and sensory intergration problems and has no idea when he smells, when his clothes are dirty (even when its obvious dirt) and will happily wear the same clothes (inc underwear and socks) for days unless told otherwise.

 

He will say he has put deodourant on and brushed teeth when he has not, even if you have been with him all the time and know hes lying.

[kerrybobs]

Hiya,

 

Robyn has only just started getting a bath without me dragging her kicking and screaming within the last couple of months. The thing is she will try to have at least 4 baths a day but will not wash she just sits there pouring water out of a cup. I have to take her and wash her. I have walked in a few times and she has been sitting in the bath with her knickers & vest on????

 

She is scared of bubble bath.

 

She has also got a b.o. problem and has had so since she was 6. She actually likes the smell and will sit there sniffing her arm pits with a look of bliss on her face.

 

I have bought every deoderant under the sun and she hides it. Also she hates brushing her teeth that is a nightmare trying to get her to do it. Also brushing her hair she cries with every stroke.

 

The thing is that if someone else smells she does'nt hesitate to tell them.

 

Im dreading it when she starts her periods.

 

Take care

 

Kerry