Gordie

Hi, all. I used to be an active member here many years ago - most of you on here now probably won't recognise me, as I haven't visited at all for years. But I was drawn back here tonight having just seen a repeat on BBC One of the documentary, The Autistic Me, originally broadcast back in 2009. The end of the programme gave us an update on how the various participants in it had fared in the years since its original broadcast. While most had fared well, we learned that Alex, who had Asperger's Syndrome (like me), sadly died in January of this year, having "had a sudden epileptic seizure and passed away in his sleep". The programme was then dedicated to Alex. I expect many of you on this forum will have watched the programme at some point, either in 2009 or tonight, and will be sad to learn of this news. Or if you'd like to watch it now, maybe to remember Alex, it's available now on the BBC iPlayer, at this location, until April 23rd. The reason I was drawn back here was because one of the other people featured in the programme, Kirsty, is a member of this forum too, with the username "Special_talent123". It looks like she last posted on the forum last August. In The Autistic Me, she was Alex's potential love interest. Kirsty, if you ever still look in here, I don't know how things between you and Alex progressed, but if you were still in touch with Alex at all, then I'm sorry for your loss - he seemed like a really lovely guy, and I could relate to a lot of his experiences. Rest in peace, Alex.

You're a better man than I. I've been in that rut/hole for 4 years now - the difference is I don't even try to get out of it, and I don't even care.

Hallelujah ... FINALLY someone else in my boat, who struggles to feel emotions. This never used to be an issue for me as a child, but I'd say my emotional peak was at around the age of 16. If only I knew then that I'd only feel emotions for a limited period. I later suffered from depression while at university (aged 18 and beyond), but this was also when my emotions, both positive and negative, started to fade, slowly but surely. And, now I'm 30, a situation has to be pretty extreme for me to feel anything now. It's a pretty sad existence I live these days. I'd gladly take back the negative stuff, maybe even depression, to have positive emotions back again. Now I don't feel worry, anger, depression; spiders don't even scare me the way they used to(!) ... all great, you might think, but I also don't feel motivated, excited, passionate, enthusiastic, and I can't love any more either - I can forget about holding down a relationship with a girl in the future - that's all in the past for me now. I have no ambition in life, no desire to better myself. I'm just an inhuman zombie. It's not a case of being unable to label or identify my emotions. I just don't feel them. A good example of this was when I was doing a bungy jump on New Zealand last year. Normally, I expect I'd be scared witless at the prospect of jumping off a bridge with only a rope around my ankles to restrain me. But instead, I felt nothing until I was literally on the edge of the plank, about to jump - then it was finally extreme enough for me to feel the fear. But I still jumped right on the '3' of the count to 3, so it can't have affected me that much. I've always thought this was more than just Asperger's, as most of the Aspies I know still feel a full range of emotions, just like I did half a lifetime ago. But, despite the unfortunate circumstances, I'm glad to see I'm not the only one in this particular boat.

Just giving this a lil bump, as these shows are on tonight ... and coz I see it's Lucie1979 and BusyLizzie100's birthday too, so to you both!

Yes - here I am again, popping in as usual just to leave a note about some topical TV coming up soon! Sunday, April 3rd @ 9pm (130 mins), Sky Atlantic (& HD): "Temple Grandin" (UK premiere) - Claire Danes gives a Golden Globe-winning performance as the autistic woman who broke down barriers to become a celebrated academic. Inspirational biopic with Julia Ormond. - http://skyatlantic.sky.com/temple-grandin Sunday, April 3rd @ 11:10pm (125 mins), Sky Atlantic (& HD): "Autism: The Musical" - Moving, Emmy-winning documentary about pioneering techniques being used to help autistic children interact socially while expressing themselves creatively through musical theatre. 'Spect you'll need your Sky+ * for these! (Or they might appear on Sky Anytime and/or Sky Player, for those that can access them.) (* = other PVRs are available)

I'm pretty sure that feature has never been enabled by the admin staff here (even though it appears to be on the settings pages), so no-one is able to upload a photo - only an avatar. James

If he had any sense, he'd have given you the most expensive one! James

I presume the van driver just didn't see the zebra crossing (not very observant of him, but still possible), and therefore thought you were just some casual pedestrian, wandering across the road without a care in the world about any traffic that might be approaching. Reminds me of the time I was driving on the top level of our Tesco car park, on a two-way section of road, where the road markings aren't as clear as they ought to be. A driver came round a corner in the opposite direction to me, coming almost head-on towards me. I slowed down and he got out of the way in time without any harm being done, but not without him giving me all sorts of grief for driving in what he thought was the wrong direction on a one-way bit of road. But it's definitely two-way, and the road markings were there, albeit faded. Blimey - did Mumble hit a raw nerve there?! James

You should be used to that if your avatar is anything to go by! Hmmm ... I thought the word was "doolally" ... Oh, God - I soooooo detest those horrendous pirate ships at theme parks! Worst rides ever invented! So if your "plane plunge" was worse, then ... whoa ... James

I might be starting on Prozac soon, as I seem so emotionless. Apparently it's something of a "stimulant", unlike all the other anti-depressants I used in the past. Any emotion, even a negative one, would be an improvement on this dull existence I currently inhabit. Mine's a very different situation to what you're suffering though, as you're clearly feeling something: something very negative and low. Honestly, you might expect behaviour, like that which you describe, from strangers and the general public ... maybe even occasionally from your friends, but from your family?! That's pretty poor. James

Whatever gave you that idea?! My age has always been at the bottom of all my posts, in the signature. Plus it's in my profile! No excuses! James

I watched tonight ... and I never watch it! I knew it was Peggy's last episode though, and thought I had to give her a good send-off really. Quite emotional, as you say. She was like the central character of the whole soap really - that's the impression I got anyway, from never watching it. It'll be interesting to see how it progresses without her - no wonder they felt they had to drag back some other old characters next week, to keep people tuned in! The state of Phil was funny, by the way. Didn't see the big explosion last night, but I knew about it. James

Tally's tip is probably more useful, but, to be totally pedantic, as you did ask specifically about the last post in a thread, you can get to that by either clicking on the right-pointing arrow or the timestamp in the line above the username. (Hovering over either shows: "View last post" or "Go to last post", so you know you're in the right place.) And, while I'm at it, re: what Tally said (sorry, Tally!! ), clicking on the thread title will only take you to the first post in the thread, whether you've read it or not. You can only get to the first unread post by clicking on the right-pointing arrow just to the left of the thread title. (Hovering over that arrow shows: "Go to first unread post".) I actually prefer English (US) on Facebook to English (UK). Things just seem to be formatted better, particularly the dates on timestamps. I'd rather have that and deal with the Americanisms than switch to British English. James

Ohhh - I can totally relate to this. I go to a monthly social group for people with Asperger's. As we know, everyone's different, and that includes Aspies. One though, who I think is actually a savant (whether that's ever been confirmed, I don't know, but he can instantly recall the day of the week for any date on the calendar in just about any year), has these really strange things he doesn't like other people doing, for example: taking holidays for more than 2 weeks, getting tattoos done, going to the Glastonbury Festival (he thinks it's rubbish, therefore no-one else should be remotely interested either), etc. Totally random things. They make him feel so uncomfortable that he actually left Facebook because he hated seeing people doing those things. He felt he had to "call" them on it on each occasion, which inevitably led to angry reactions, and they're not enjoyable for anyone to read. But at these group meetings each month, he always goes on and on about these things, "hogging" the conversation, and "hogging" the people sitting near him with these "topics". He added a new one this month as well: not liking seeing primary school girls wearing summer dresses (he'd rather they wear trousers). So there's your socially inappropriate stuff as well. It's all quite jovial and funny to listen to at first - maybe once or twice, but it's really wearing thin now that I've been going on and off for a few years. I'd quite like to talk to some of these other people that he's "hogging" about more interesting things, or just different things would be nice! But it's impossible. And he does my head in. It rather ruins the whole experience for me. And sometimes when he says these things make him uncomfortable, he adds, "... because it's part of my Asperger's Syndrome". Well, yes - it's part of yours, but I would hope he doesn't think that's part of everyone's, and I would hope he doesn't convince neuro-typicals that that's the case either. This is just once a month (and I don't even go every month), and in a group specifically for people with Asperger's, so you have my sympathy in an ongoing situation with a more "general" group of friends! Can't really offer you any advice though, I'm afraid. I just cringe my way through the evening each month, grit my teeth, grin and bear it. James

There's also another Jargon Buster on the "Resources" forum, deciphering more formal abbreviations/acronyms seen here from time to time (such as "NT"). You can find that post here: http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/Index.php?/topic/329-%26gt%3B%26gt%3B-jargon-buster-%26lt%3B%26lt%3B/ James