Flora

I'm fine with 'why'... when I know the answer!! But more frequently I get asked 'why' questions which deserve a response but I just don't know the answer to. The latest was - 'Why do I have nipples if I'm never going to have boobs?' or another was 'why do you always say 'mmm' when you're not really listening to me?'.... Lauren

I have had this from all sorts of people... teachers/family/friends... you name it... and it makes me want to run through the streets screaming with frustration:- 'he's fine... you worry too much' The following are also pretty annoying:- 'he is such a good reader, there can't be much wrong with him' 'he's got you wrapped round his little finger' 'he should have grown out of that behaviour by now' 'SCREAM'!!!!!

I feel let down by my ex husband's family, particularly my father-in-law who is a GP. The best he could offer in terms of support when I told him about my son's (his Grandson!!) diagnosis of Aspergers was to say 'oh he'll grow out of it'. This from a GP!!! Several years on and I've sent them all information on AS and explained in detail how it affects my son and all I get is 'there's nothing wrong with him, he's perfectly normal', or worse.... 'he's got you wrapped round his little finger hasn't he?'. I could scream with frustration at times, but thankfully I've stopped trying to seek their support (though I was never actually seeking it for myself, I was seeking it for my son). The latest beauty is that his dad has refused to pay school fees and they've all advised me to 'just stick him in the local comp... it'll solve a lot of problems'... and this is from a family of people who have never ever used the state system to educate anyone!! Thankfully, for myself and my son, I'm a bit less short sighted and I'll continue to fight the good fight and be my son's advocate regardless of the small minded attitude of people who claim they care. I could actually go on for ever with stories of being 'let down' but I won't bore everyone!!! or depress them! Lauren

Thanks for all the replies. The difference with my son is that he was originally always in the year group behind his chronological age. It was only last year after we'd moved that his new school insisted he moved up to the year he should be in but now they recognise that it wasn't a good move, hence the offer for him to go back a year. I think after considering all the options we are going to take the school up on their offer, with the idea that when he is ready to move up to secondary he has to stay with that year group or we'll again opt for home education. It is reassuring to know that there is always that option to fall back on if we aren't happy. Many thanks for all the input. Lauren

One of my sons was obsessed with diamond shapes and clocks. We once went somewhere that had a diamond shaped clock and he thought he'd gone to heaven! He talked about it and drew pictures of it for months afterwards. His latest obsessions is guns and now he can read he knows every single thing about guns, their history, and the legal position! Last month is was 'extreme weather' and he became an expert on cyclones and lightening etc. I just love this part of ASD... (except the constant need to talk about these obsessions..... endlessly!!!). Lauren

On Friday evening I got a surprise call from my son's primary school head teacher. She asked me to come in for a quick chat. To cut a moderately long story short, she said that she'd had a meeting with the school child psychologist who had suggested that my son, instead of leaving primary school at the end of this year, could repeat year 6. Normally the LEA doesn't like this to happen, mainly because at the age of 16 a child can leave school without the permission of parents/teachers. However, in my son's case they thought it would suit him. I was rather pleased at this suggestion, mainly because it gives us a whole new alternative. However, I hark back to several frustrating (head banging) meetings I had with the same head teacher and ed psych last year; during these meetings I was strongly putting the case forward for my son not moving up to year 6 as he has always been more comfortable with the year group below him. They put all their arguments against this suggestion and refused to consider it. So here we are one year on and THEY are suggesting the same idea to ME. Why don't they listen to us (the parents) in the first place, we are nearly always right! So now we are left with the choice of either home educating or repeating year 6. Has anyone else had an experience like this? Has anyone elses child repeated a year? Incidently they also said that if he does repeat year 6 he won't move back up to his chronological year group. He'll follow the path of year 6 to year 7.. and so on. Lauren (bemused!)

My 11 year old AS son over eats. He eats a very limited diet (he complains if the texture is wrong, and even complains if I haven't cut his toast in a certain way, and the rules are constantly changing!). Up until he was about 8 he was so active that he didn't put weight on no matter how much he would eat. As he's getting older he wants to spend more and more time on the computer or games consoles and would eat none stop whilst doing so. The only way I have managed to combat this is by not buying stores of snack foods. If he wants anything extra to eat in between meal times he has dry (sugar free) cereals. Last year he was very over weight, but he is now normal weight and much more active (he only just recently learned how to ride a bike but is now happy to go on several long bike rides a week). One thing that strikes me about my son is that he has terrible posture. He is very slouchy. He is particularly bad when he is a negative mood, even the muscles in his face slouch! Has anyone else noticed this? Lauren

Hi Leslie. Well my problems are rather less than yours, but I'd say one thing, with the frustration, stress and being passed from pillow to post you are trully not alone. I have 3 children; one with AS and dyspraxia, and another with language delay and autistic tendencies. Believe me, there are times when I've just wanted to curl up and cry, then there are times when I want to lash out at someone, and other days I count my blessings and enjoy the unique way in which my children see the world. Keep strong, and remember there's always someone out there to give a shoulder to cry on, or to rant to (or at!) Best wishes Lauren

Hi Jonathon, I'm new here too. I have an 11 year old with AS. It must have been very hard for you to grow up and go through life without the help that people with AS need. What made you decide you have AS? Do you feel better for knowing there is an explanation to some of the difficulties you may have had? Hope you don't think I'm being nosey. It's great though to have an insight into AS from someone who actually has the condition. Best wishes Lauren

Hi Denise thanks for your reply. I've just come back from an interview with the head of the local mainstream senior school and it has only served to harden my resolve and reasure me that home educating my son is going to be the best option (the only option if I want him to grow up happy and secure). She bagan the meeting by informing me that she was against home education, so we didn't get off to a good start, and it set the tone of me being on the defensive the whole time I was with her. I'm interested to hear about Luke Jackson leaving school without any qualifications after a miserable time at school. Like you said, he's a remarkably bright boy and has demonstrated amazing insight in to his problems through the books he has published. Even without the qualifications I'm sure there's a niche for him in this world. I'd be interested to hear how your meeting with the LEA goes. Thanks again for reading my website and your reply. Lauren

I was reading some of the posts about omega 3 supplements, I know they are quite old posts but thought I'd make a mention about my experience. My 11 year old son with AS has been taking omega 3 supplements (specifically for children... MorePa mini capsules.... I can give link to website who supplies them). He's been taking these since early February and I can state quite certainly that there has been a huge improvement in his behaviour, mood and concentration levels. Even his teacher has noticed that he is 'more switched on', and less prone to day dreaming. He also looks better. His skin used to be very dry and flakey but that has improved alot. The MorePa mini that my son is taking are specifically designed for children. They only need to take 2 a day, and they are small enough for a child to swallow. They are suitable for children aged from about 4 - 18.

Nellie, thank you for the links, they made very interesting reading (or maybe comforting... knowing others are experiencing similar problems)... not that I'd wish any of this on anyone else! Reading some of the posts just made me feel not so alone, I could have written them myself. I especially related to areas where people felt they were 'banging their head on a brick wall' with regards to other people's understanding of ASD. I am constantly patiently explaining (read that as battling with) to other people (relatives and teachers mainly) that the problems they are complaining about are the nature of the beast as far as AS is concerned! Not the first and won't be the last evidently. I am in the process of implementing vision and sound therapy and measuring the effects of high dose omega 3 supplements, for my son. The results are so far so good. He has managed to overcome some of his problems in a relatively short space of time. Has anyone else tried vision or sound therapy? Nellie, thanks again for making me welcome. Lauren

Hello. I'm new to this forum. My name is Lauren and I have a son with AS. He is 11 years old and I've been unable to get him into an appropriate senior school for September. I have decided to home educate and have a website up about us. www.homeschooled.co.uk. I am interested in all aspects of Aspergers Syndrome and would like to make contact with other parents and carers.