Mother in Need

My son's school has decided a few months ago to have the Key Stage 3 SATS at the end of year 8 (instead of year 9), and to start the Key Stage 4 curriculum at the beginning of year 9 instead of year 10, and to have the GCSE exams at the end of year 10 instead of year 11. My son has basically not had an education since the beginning of this school year. He is in year 8, and now that he attends a lesson or 2 (at the most) a day, it turns out he cannot actually take part in most lessons anyway, as they are all working on their SATs preparations and as he hasn't been in any of the lessons in this school year, he hasn't got a clue, which just upsets him more and he has to be taken out again. Apparently (though as school barely ever writes anything in his home/school book my info comes from ds in a rather confused way), school are not going to ask him to sit the tests. Fine with me, as he'd be so upset and stressed out it would end up with major meltdowns. And how would he perform, if 1) it is a year earlier than anyone else in the country and 2) he hasn't been to any of the lessons. I was wondering though, how does this work? Can school just decide that a child does not need to sit his SATS? I thought they were obligatory? Do they need to disapply in some way? And if so, on what grounds? Knowing this might help my case with the LEA to get him into a special school as he is not being educated in this one. Anything else I should know?

Poor you, I've just been through all this, they were rather long weeks. He wasn't at school at that time anyway (illegal exclusion) so that part didn't bother him though it obviously did me). I found the most difficult time when he had to change from temparary plaster to longer term one; he was totally not cooperative and my attempt to get a lighter plast cast put on to minimise the danger to others, didn't work. Keep at it, keep him busy and destracted, and pray and pray. It didn't seem quite so long by the time his came off, it went better than I expected. I hope it will do so for you as well.

Loulou, you may have already done this, but when I put special anti-allergenic covers on ds's bed (mattress and pillows) his rhinitis improved no end. He was about to go on meds, but didn't need to after that.

My AS son has rhinitis (like hayfever, but all year round, reacting to lots of stuff not just pollen), but it is not severe as in needing medication. He just sneezes all over the place, giving everyone a 'shower' on a regular basis. PS He is sitting beside me and asking why there isn't a sneezing smiley

Water. Take one or two glasses of water in the morning, at least half an hour before breakfast. This works like a treat! I was on lactulose for years, but could stop completely once I started drinking water before breakfast. My stools are now completely normal, which is amazing, since I've only started doing this for about 4 months, and I can sympathise only too well with the comparison to labour... If I remember rightly, it might have taken a few days to start working fully, but as I say, it has been very good for me. And with no side-effects, no costs and no running up and down to the chemists! And no undesirable smells

My ds usually only takes part for the first few throws and then becomes difficult. His two brothers love it though, so we still go at times, for their sakes. I myself am never sure whether I enjoy it; I like bowling, but if we could only do it without him present...

Sorry, didn't mean to put anyone off, I'd love the company!!!!!

Oh yes, it is beautiful here ein Cornwall etcetera etcetera. I don't want to disappoint you, but unfortunately the Cornish LEA is known to be one of the worst in the country for SEN. There are also NO services whatsoever. And Social Services bury their heads in the sand and don't do ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING AT ALL. My experiences have not been good, and I have spoken to other parents who have had the same problems. Breakdowns etc like you described, for years, one parent even had the school supporting them all the way, but LEA still took 2 years and intervention by the MP before they allowed him to be sent to a special school. (By the way, before you're even allowed to visit and have a look at a special school, the LEA needs to have given their permission for this to happen). This same parent struggled for 5-6 years, constantly pushing SS before they finally agreed to become somewhat involved. I've tried for a whole year now, and they still haven't even finished our assessments.... they only pay lipservice when forced by solicitors and then stop again...it is very frustrating. My son's school knows silch about ASD/AS, and their communication skills are non-existing. It's a brilliant school for my eldest, who is very very bright, independent and capable, there won't be a better school for him. But it is not so for my son with AS, I've had terrible troubles and they have totally ignored them. I was refused statementing, till I got a solicitor involved. The draft was absolutely cr*p (IPSEA agrees with this), I've requested a meeting about it with the LEA and instead of taking one week to meet, it will have taken 6 weeks by the time it takes place. Should I go on...?

Mummy21, I do not think a lot of people get any help in the form of strategies after dx, at least not by the ones giving the dx. All strategies I have learned come either from trial and error, reading about them in a book, and last but not least, from all the wonderful people on this forum.

Welcome to the forum Sweatpea! Is your ex AS/ASD? I would go to the police, they are really good and understanding (I've been there myself). They will determine the level of the threat and what is the best thing to do. They might give him a ....oh what's it called, one of those rules that they're not allowed to come near you...sorry, it's too late, I am not thinking properly, but the police will know. If you're so scared, and don't know what to do, I'd definitely say go to the Police Station and talk to them, and they'll deal with it. As for your little girl, probably the less she knows about this, the better, but if you're in the situation that you have to take her wherever you go, this might be more difficult. But she will catch on that something's wrong with mum (no sleep, too stressful, tearful or whatever) so the sooner you get it sorted the sooner it'll be OK for her as well. Good luck! <'> <'>

Yep. same problems, ever since the holidays started a few days ago, AS son 12 has been horrible, I am exhausted and his younger brother has been hit kicked and punched and simply treated abominably. The poor little boy feels so low, just fell asleep in my bed, and though 9 when his AS brother treats him like this he too reverts to being a little baby. Elder son 15 simply disappeared to stay over with friends, though now they're all over here for the night. Quite interesting the effect this has had on AS son, it makes it less like home and hence he behaves a bit more... Change. From school routine to home/holiday routine. By the time he'll have adapted to this change, school starts again, and we'll go through it all again...

Nope, I didn't invoke the Act so I didn't get an answer... Now I'll have to wait till after Easter before I can take this further. I was hoping for some proof to help me prepare for the meeting with the LEA.

I have just heard that my son's IEP is: to reintegrate into mainstream asap, and that's all there is to it. Shouldn't this be more specific, like able to use the traffic lights to ask for help or taking part in at least two lessons a day or coming into school willingly and in uniform or stuff like that? It just seems rather broad, especially as I am not sure what they consider 'reintegrated'. I have the feeling that they mean for him to be on the premises all day, but not for him to actually take part in educational activities.

Absolutely, I had no idea prior to visiting the school what it would be like, and whether or not it would be suitable, especially as it is officially an EBD school (half of the students are AS/ASD though). Having seen it now has given me the hope that we might eventually manage a life of some sort, for my ds, his brothers and myself. We certainly won't have that reassurance with mainstream, esp not if statements are going to be withdrawn. No, this school is definitely our salvation, if we can only get him there! But I had to have seen it first!

It is an independent school I am talking about. There is absolutely no other provision around. Thanks Kazzen, I will do that. I have been thinking about how to get some evidence of various needs and that they aren't met, the educational one will be the most difficult as school is so non-cooperative. I'll do all I can though!

Thanks all for your very helpful replies! His statement is still only in draft format, the draft is absolute cr*p so I am re-writing it and hope that when I have the meeting with the LEA they'll accept my version... you've all just given me some more things to add to it... School (and Head) have been pretty useless, their communication skills are bad, and they tell blatant lies. But the LEA believes them.... When I dropped my son off this morning, the SENCO met him, but she didn't even say good morning to me or anything... She is also (deliberately, I feel) misunderstanding straightforward questions that I put in his home/school book (had to invoke the Freedom of Information Act to get them answered...), which I put in in an attempt for them to write down what they are and are not doing, so I have written proof that things aren't what they say... I have re-phrased the question regarding lessons to help him catch up, I wrote I meant lessons during his time in the LSU with TA. He has barely had any lessons this whole school year, do you propose to just put him back into lessons without a chance to catch up? How can he do, for instance, his maths as he has missed the last 6 months of lessons? I know it's not a 'proposing' it's what they've been doing, but let's hope she'll answer this straightforward this time...mmm, didn't invoke the Act this time though, so it might just get ignored, I'll find out later on.

Julieann, that's shocking! Especially as you weren't even asking for anything! As for the case histories, I don't think that the Head is hte one to give permission, it's the parents who do. And don't you think they'd be delighted? Most would consider that trained, and it seems some will even try to add the letters after their name to show that they have been (even if it was only a day's course...). totally wrong ofcourse.

So it seems that in some areas you're allowed to just visit and in other areas you aren't. As Call me Jaded put it, this whole process is very discriminatory! Mossgrove, yes I did get around it and visited the school, and the Head told me about tribunal himself (unofficially ofcourse!). It's not the school that's stopping people, it's the LEA. And yes, I would soooooooo like ds to go there, just right now have no clue as to how to convince the LEA to fund this. So if anyone has any ideas, I'd be very grateful! Oh yes HH, transport policies, might start another thread on that one...

Lauren, thanks for your reply, made me feel a little better! It's good someone is angry, I feel so battlworn that I haven't got any emotions left. That's what they seem to be thinking exactly, I am trying to get them to commit this to writing so I can prove to the LEA he is not receiving a suitable education at that school. I like the way you worded it, would you mind if i used that to quote?

Hi, I've finally managed to visit a special school and would LOVE my son to go there. too many positives to write about, and it definitely seems the right place for him! Now is my question, how does one secure funding for this? Especially when his present school keeps saying he is coping. Well, yes, he is coping being in school part time while only taking part in the odd lesson and having someone with him all the time; he is not actually receiving much of an education at all. He is also not receiving any social training, and certainly not life-skills training. Medically he should be on 4 injections of insullin a day (he is diabetic also) but as school can't administer this, we have kept it at three. This MUST change soon though, or we're talking risk of long-term damage to his health. I can't go up and down every day, already I've been forced to drive him in every day. So that's his mainstream. This special school has it all, small groups, high ration staff:pupils, medical staff, social skills training every morning, lots and lots of life-skills and independence skills, apart from the traditional intellectual skills. He can still take 10 GCSEs if he wants, so the sky's the limit there, but it's all the other skills and medical care that mainstream is not giving. and then there are things like happiness, friendships, understanding and feeling understood, that can't be put under any educational heading but are so important for once well-being. Sorry to ramble on, my question is basically: HELP, how do I go about convincing the LEA my son needs this school while mainstream is, well, not very forthcoming with the truth and the whole picture... I have requested a meeting with the LEA regarding the draft statement (total cr*p), and will have to use that same meeting to convince them. How am I going to do that?

If the child has missed lots of lessons is the school responsible for making sure the child can catch up/keep up? My son missed most of this school year, partially due to not coping within the school environment, then spending 6 weeks in a psychiatric day unit, then trying again for one week with disastrous consequences, then illegally expelled for 5 weeks. Now he is reintegrated back into school again, and the LEA is paying for full-time LSA FOR REINTEGRATION ONLY. And even now (ie the last 5 weeks) he has only spent 1 at the most 2 lessons a day actually in class (out of 5-6), the rest of the time he talks to the TA to consolidate the relationship. He has been brought to lessons where he has obviously not been able to cope due to the large gap in his knowledge, he then gets so agitated that they have to take him out again. In other lessons they are practising their SATS and once again he has no clue what's going on and hates tests anyway, so out he goes again. How is he going to be able to access the education that is provided to the masses if he's not given any extra help? Surely school should use all that dedicated TA time to run over subjects with him and work on areas that he needs to know in order to be able to get back into the classroom? His school doesn't seem to think so and have suggested that if I am worried about this to go to the BBC Bitesize and Samlearning sites with him. Excuse me, isn't this their job, trying to teach him at home is like trying to make him do homework....a BIG no no to him!

I tried to visit a special school the other day, but was told that only people who had permission from their LEA were allowed to come and have a look. Mentioning this to another parent, she said that she thought this was normal. When she wanted to visit another special school, she too was told to get permission from her LEA first. so she wrote to them. The LEA then wrote to the school in question, telling them that she was now allowed to come and visit, BUT THAT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WOULD THE LEA FUND A PLACEMENT THERE. So when she rang up, the Head told her it wasn't any use her coming round as she wasn't going to get a place anyway. Has this happened to other people? And is this legal? I thought we had a right to look at our own schools and choose ourselves. I know it was mentioned somewhere, that we had a freedom of choice. Well, it seems that this Freedom does not extend to our SEN children who are in need of special schools... it's a joke, like the whole of the All Children Matters Campaign.

Good luck with it!

I don't know Lindy-Lou, they do usually look at ALL the info together to make the decision, and not just the one report. My school's filling in of DLA was apalling, but despite that we still received the middle rate (though I was hoping for lower mobility as well). I'm afraid it's a wait and see situation, though if there are any other reports you would like to send in, like a psychiatrist or even a letter from a friend having seen her in melt down etc, it might be an idea to send those in as well to give them additional proof of what you're trying to say.

Nope.