Diane

My DS is not on meds. I have recently asked his psychologist about this. I have very mixed feelings as I do not see how meds for anxiety will change his thinking patterns which he has because of his ASD. I am not sure about my reasons for putting him on meds because at the moment I feel quite down about the fact that my friends are celebrating real success with there children. You know the meaing part of a team, scoring the winning goal, being in the school drama production, doing well in an exam. I get to celebrate that my son has managed to go in a taxi to school or has understood that the extra feeling you get at Christmas is excitement. I do not know if my son will ever live and independent life or with me for ever. At the moment I am his life in all respects. Ok, I am feeling sorry for myself. I would just like to be able to have the same recognition for my sons achivements as other parents of NT children have from friends and family, not the response of oh! well he will get there. So you see I think I only want him on meds to feel that wow factor in the way other parents do. On the other hand he would I know like to do what others do. If he was on meds and it enabled him to be more confident it would not mean he would go out and do those things as he has no friends. He thinks he has but sadly this is not the case. You have all guest it I am feeling Normally I am so very proud of every small step he takes and just now I want what I cannot have.

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Hi Everyone, All of you posts have been interesting to read. I need to consider the affect that being hormonal is having on our DS. Also if there are any other underlying issues. If this is such a huge problem as it appears to be does anyone out there know of any research that has been done of teenagers with ASD and socialising. It would i feel make for an interesting study especially if they were followed through adolence and beyond to see what percentage of them make social contact again or if they continue to live life in thier own rooms. Any takers for this!?

Hi guys I know how you all feel, getting our son out of the house in impossible. We have the dreaded MMR boosters to deal with in May. I am so afraid to even mention it as he will flip and refuse. However he does go to school now after three and a half years of only having 20% attendance but that is because he goes to a special school for kids on the spectrum (High Functioning) Years 10 and 11 only. Thirty children in the whole school split into four groups so nice small class sizes. I feel we landed on our feet when we were offerred this placement. it was hard work getting him there but once we did he loved it! Is there any support in your areas for teenagers with ASD. There is not where I am and i was thinking of setting up something myself. Any ideas. sorry Lisa i did not mean to high jack your thread.

WOW! This is wonderful. There a few people in our village whom I would love to give this to in the hope that it would change their perspective. I am so happy for this family.

Sound to me as if exciting and new ventures await you. Enjoy! :dance:

United

Sorry I missed this.

My son is so into his guitars at the moment he now has six. He talks non stop about them and about music he has written. He has loved this topic for 5 years now and drums came on the scene two and half months ago what he did not know in two weeks was not worth writing on a postage stamp. We have also had fish cold water, marine and tropical a tank of each of course. Then there was Top Gear. He knew all of Jeremy Clarkson's lines and would say them just before he did. He knew what happened in what series etc, etc.

I can only tell you about our experience with out DS. Your poor little chap I really feel for him. Being unwell because of anxiety is just awful. When my son complains of feeling unwell (due to his anxiety) I treat him the same as if he had an upset stomach or other illness. This helps to calm him down and reduce his symptoms. This also stops him having a full blown panic attack. When he is calm I talk to him about how doing something for the first time or we do not like can make us feel unwell and I make up stories of when I was a young girl and felt sick or had a headache, that at first i thought I was ill but eventually realised that it was the thought of having to do something I did not want to that made me feel ill. I used stories around his favourite characters, putting them in similar situation to his own. I would then use this to say do you think you can be as brave as "Thomas the Tank Engine". We also used the Mr Men but I cannot remember which characters. A book I have used recently with him is Scaredy Squirrel by Melanie Wyatt. She has three books out at the moment. They are brilliant at addressing anxiety in young children. I have to say my son was 13 when I used these stories with him. When he has a sudden attack now of being unwell we are able to ask him if he thinks it is because he is anxious. I am sorry to say it has taken us years to get to this point. When he was young we would make sure we had his favourite carton of drink and treat with us. This helped but it is not a cure and relief was only temporary. I am sure you have already being trying this. Preparation for anything is a big key. Although initially this would freak my son out it did eventually start to make a difference. We would also keep a scrap book of things he had achieved. We would record the lead up to an outing and then how he felt, if it was a success and how he felt afterwards. So it became evidence that he could do things. This is how he learnt about feelings. He relates a feeling to an event. I do not know if any of what I have had to say will help. If you need more information on what I have said just ask. Good luck.

Hi Bid, Only just read your post. My heart goes out to you all. I hope that your daughter makes a full recovery as do you. <'> >< Thinking of you all.

Our dx came quite quickly from our CAMHS. It took 9 months in all. It would have been quicker but I refused to do the 3DI assessment as I could not come to terms with what was being said. They wanted to do the 3DI four months after we started attending. I guess it does all come down to your CAMHS and the person you see. I have nothing but praise for our CAMHS and the support and guidance they give.

My daughter has had support through CAMHS due to the pressures of living with her brother who has AS. As a family we had support meetings this helped also. My daughter attended for six weeks and it did her the world of good. I learnt to appreciate things from her perspective and learn how to support he in the way she needed. Not the way i thought. Because of CAMHS our family are in a much better place than a couple of years ago. We have a lot to thank them for.

Thank you everyone. I am glad it is not just my son. I will not give up trying. It always helps when you know others are going through the same issues and so therefore understand. Thank you Ian. You have talked to me about this before. I think I nee to look into this more. Still worried but feeling a little better.

Brilliant book. Our entire family were given a copy each for christmas. The feedback ha been very interesting from those that have read it.

My son does this and he is now nearly 15. He is very little problem at school but when he gets home it is a different story. I liken him to a swan. He gives the appearance of being calm and majestic but underneath he is paddling like mad to fit in by the end of the school day he is not able to keep it up so I get all the frustration. I leave him to get on with it. He eventually calms down. With regard to school he was in mainstream until November of last year when he was given a place at a specialist PRU. He likes going to school now as there are only 32 pupils in the whole school spread over 2 year groups. 80% are on the spectrum. I do not have an answer really. I sometimes find his favourite magazine will have a calming influence and he is musically taleted so his drums and guitars are his outlet. When he was five we did not have any strategies that worked because he did not have the understanding to take any of it onboard. Over the years we have been able to teach him about self control. It has been a long hard journey one we can never stop. Our son does not have learning difficulties all though when he was in primary we were told he did have. He is actually very intelligent and able and has all the skills he needs t learn but it is his anxiety that holds him back. I hope you soon find a routine that works for your son after school. Good Luck.

Hi bikemad Does this behavoiur worry you at all? I do not know if I am over reacting. It is just eating away at me.

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My DS will not leave the house. I used to get him to come to the supermarket with me but he will not do this now. If I manage to get him in the car he will not get out. I am worried because as he has got older the more rigid he has become about going out. The only time he is out of the house is when he is at school. We have regressed hugely with his socialising. Is it because he is a teenager or is it his AS? Could it be both. He is very difficult to motivate and cannot be bribed. He would rather go without than have to leave the house. Anyone out there have a similiar experience? I am exhausted with all of this and do not want the fight anymore. I need some time out but cannot have it due to our home circumstances. I will just keep never minding. I do not know what else I can do just now.

Money

Today, this afternoon I was denied access to this site. the sign in page said i did not exist. Now it recognises me again. Phew!!!!

Have a great time. I love Brighton. I lived there for years. I hope one day to find myself living back there.

Hug

Have just read APPRECIATING ASPERGERS BY BRENDA BOYD. It was a great positive read and helped me see how life can be good for my son. Really refreshing.

We bought a trampoline last summer and it was the best pruchase we ever made for our son and yes i found out how unfit i am and that I am at that age where a pair of incontinance pants would come in handy. :lol: :lol: