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peaches

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Everything posted by peaches

  1. Has anyone had a positive experience of being on the receiving end of help for Asperger's adults? If so, where and how do you get it???????
  2. The contraception is covered. I saw the hospital consultant when she was in with #4 and insisted she had the implant. I wouldnt mind the counselling, but its not being offered to me! I will just have to reiterate my demands for her to be taught life skills. Thanks
  3. I didnt take over BTW, the kids were taken from her, SS wanted to have them adopted, I wanted them to stay in the family, she didnt have a choice. The kids are with me on special guardianship orders until their majority. She also doesnt seem to be bothered about not seeing them and doesnt make any effort to get in touch. Aside from that, thanks, your reply was interesting. I should have been stricter with her, but I wasnt. I wonder if now is the time for tough love then? How do you think she would feel if I just backed off and left her to it and waited for her to get in touch, i.e. didnt check on her chase her up etc.
  4. My daughter is 23 and was diagnosed with Asperger's a couple of years ago. She doesnt receive any help or support. Following a diagnosis a someone who described herself as a social worker from the adult mental health team came to see her a few times, but she didnt engage with her. I was hoping that she would help my daughter with life skills but she didnt, she attempted to get her rehoused, put all her energy into that, and it failed. Then she left her job and my daughter wasnt passed on to anyone else until I complained. Then she was passed on to an occupational therapist who she has seen a few times, but she fails to engage with her. My daughter has made a lot of bad decisions in her life. She is a poor judge of personality. Her first relationship ended just over a year ago and she had 4 unplanned pregnancies which she concealed from everyone. I am bringing up the children. Her ex partner could be described at best as a leech. He has serious problems, and we dont have anything to do with him and she has a restraining order against him. She is now in another relationship, a man who she met through her first relationship. I cant say he is much of an improvement, because he is putting her into a difficult situation with money etc. He works part time, his wages go on his debts and basically he lives off her as far as I can see. My daughter has resisted all attempts for me to enter her flat and talk to her boyfriend. She hides her head in the sand when it comes to practical matters and problems. Next week I am having a meeting with this occupational therapist as I said I wanted my daughter to have specialist help. All they can offer is counselling and we are meeting to discuss that. The last time Laurel was offered counselling she didnt engage, and the therapist says they are reluctant to commit the budget to pay for this if she doesnt really want it and is just agreeing to it because its what we want to hear. I think the counselling is from the Asperger's Support Service in Sheffield but Im not sure, I will be clarifying this next week. Im not sure if its counselling she needs. I think she needs someone to teach her how to live her life day to day and how to watch out for men who just want to use her. She takes absolutely no notice of anything I say so its pointless me intervening and trying to point these things out, I have tried and tried. I have my hands full with her 4 children anyway. She wants to live independently of us, but she also seems to want a boyfriend to lean on too and chooses unsuitable people: or they choose her. She made a friend through her boyfriend who she says also has asperger's, but this friend lives some distance away and lives with her parents, Ive never met her. My daughter has never been capable of work, and spends all her day on her computer. Unless I fetch her, she doesnt come and see her children as she isnt able to negotiate the journey alone. She doesnt see the need to send me mothers day cards or birthday cards, and didnt send her kids easter eggs or anything. I have left her alone for a few weeks because when I asked for her help with the children following recent surgery, she gave it grudgingly, made it clear it was highly inconvenient, and couldnt wait to get away, so I took her home early despite being ill and needing the help. I have absolutely no idea what to do. I wouldnt normally put this much info on a forum but I have absolutely no idea who to ask. I know she has difficulties and I have painted a very negative picture, but to be honest there's no point in dressing it up and pretending the problems arent there. I would be interested to hear from other parents of Asperger's adults and also Adults with Asperger's with views on what to do, if anything.
  5. It would depend on the individual. My daughter, 23 who has asperger's, says she knows she will never be able to drive. One of her problems is awareness of other people and their intentions "or other people stuff" as she puts it. Addtionally, she is aware that her judgement is impaired when making decisions for crossing the road. She takes longer than most people to cross the road. She also has never been able to ride a bike. If your son is at all like my daughter, I would dissuade him.
  6. Yes I already get both of those. Maybe it was the FF. I dont think we have gone quite low enough to get the other things, as a big part of our income is actually child tax credits. We get childcare element already. I think the problem with the FF was that the money that SS give us takes us over their limit! I might be thinking of the milk and vitamins thing they used to do, but now you get fresh fruit or something dont you? Oh well, I suppose we are managing so mustnt grumble. I know plenty of people are worse off than us.
  7. For the first time we have got some working tax credit (other than childcare) as well as the usual child tax credit. I seem to remember ages ago that I was going to apply for something that was going to help Raph (or for the family) and wasnt entitled to it as we didnt get working tax credit. Any idea what it was? Would it be the thing where you get payments for resources for your children? Whats it called? Is there anything else we should be in receipt of?
  8. peaches

    Tamiflu

    I had swine flu last year and was prescribed tamiflu. It made me feel really nauseous, I think I vomited at least once. I ended up not finishing the course because I felt so sick I couldnt swallow them. I dont really think it made any difference, but who knows. Either way, I felt terrible for a week, and husband had to have a couple of days off work to look after me and household.
  9. peaches

    phenergan???

    It doesnt work for any of ours!! And it makes them more hyper. I am really surprised you got it prescribed for insomnia. They are really funny about it these days when you try and buy it, asking about age of child and what for.
  10. Tomorrow I have his review at school. He seems to be doing better at his new school and Im happy. He basically wants to stay at home all day and play DS or Wii. My husband does his bedtime routine tonight and I made him put him to bed an hour earlier (both of them protested). He actually went to sleep! I will see if he gets up in the morning, if he does we might have it cracked.
  11. Thing is, no matter how early we start the bed time process, he can still be going at midnight.
  12. You can get Rescue Remedy NIGHT and that doesnt have alcohol in. I have bought some for our little girl as she has sleep problems also. I will look into this clarocet though.
  13. Raphael is 7 and has never been a brilliant sleeper. He has difficulty gettting off to sleep. He has a diagnosis of ASD (High Functioning Autism); ADHD; Developmental Coordination Disorder and Early Attachment Problems. Not getting off to sleep at night means he has difficulty in getting up next morning for school. Its bad enough to get him going, ready, breakfasted etc on time but if he is tired it just makes it worse. He has seen a Consultant Psychiatrist and a Psychologist for his diagnosis, and we were asked if we were interested in medication for him but I declined. We have moved house and he has been referred to psychiatry in new area but we havent had appointment yet. If I were to see GP and ask him for melatonin would he prescribe it? How is it presented? The other problem I have is that he doesnt take medicines. Full stop!
  14. Raph sleeps with one but I cant say if it works or not. He has a lot of difficulty getting to sleep lately.
  15. I really thought Raph was getting better. We get a lot less negative reports from his new school, he fits in well, seems actually to be popular, when we are leaving school lots of kids shout his name and wave or say bye. Then came Christmas. He got a line in the Nativity play and to all intents and purposes was doing really well. There were 3 performances I was due to see him on the third day as this was the day his sister was in it two (part timer). He wouldnt go to school on that day, not because of the play or so he said, he just wouldnt get up. As Christmas was getting closer we were finding it harder and harder to get him to bed at night and having got him there he wouldnt settle down and was bouncing around in his room until the early hours. Throughout the Christmas holidays he has been an absolute pain in the ######. Every two minutes one of the girls has been coming to me in tears saying Raphy has hurt me. I have threatened to take his electronic games etc away from him if he continues, and I would like to think I could do this, but if I do and he has nothing to do he will be worse than ever. He is fine whilst he is on the DS or the Wii or the game cube or the computer, the rest of the time he is just a torment. I really really cannot do with him 24/7 and I cant wait for him to go back to school. There isnt a playscheme at Christmas or he would be going there. That's how I usually get through the summer! Monday cannot come soon enough.
  16. We discussed this at his review meeting last week in the presence of the lady from the Autism Service and the Ed Psych. School want to help him get over this and are going to do a lot of preparatory work with him prior to the next trip, not just talking about it, but having visual prompts/timetables regarding his trip. The autism service thought it was significant that the preparatory work was mostly in the form of a discussion, and it would be more helpful to have pictorial cues detailing what would happen on the visit. The work would also focus on the fact that when he got up in a morning his routine would be different. I was given the impression that they dont expect to conquer this problem all in one go, but see it as a gradual thing over his next few years in school.
  17. Find a school who have had experience of children with autism, not just one but several. Make sure they have time for you when you visit. Dont just go on the OFSTED reports, but do read them. Is the head approachable and interested? Is the SENCO knowledgeable? Visit as many as you have to until you feel comfortable.
  18. I was hoping to tag this on to one of my previous posts, but cant find them. Anyway to cut a long story short, DGS was diagnosed at the beginning of the year, after a lot of hassle in reception class and the beginning of year 1. I thought he was in a "good" school. I thought they were doing everything they could, but disagreed with them on one or two points. DGS got a statement with 9 hours of one to one on it, but the school had a TA with him all the time because he had lashed out a few times. We needed to move house, we moved to another area and found another school. We wavered about this for ages, thinking it would have a negative effect on DGS. Well what a difference it has made. This new school just somehow works for us. Its in a less prosperous area than our last one and there are a few other children with behaviour problems. DGS has less one to one time (but his statement is met). The first week he was in school they got someone from the autism service to see him, which was something never achieved at his old school, and also got a behaviour support assistant to work with him twice a week. We had a review meeting last week, and school actually got a Senior Ed Psych AND a lady from Autism Service to attend, as well as the head, the senco, the learning mentor and his behaviour support assistant. The meeting was very thorough and lasted an hour and a half. At the other school I was on a half hour conveyor belt with the teacher and senco and barely got to speak. This forces me to ask myself well if one school can do it why cant the other? This week he went on the stage at good work assembly and showed his work, he went to his first dancing class and pestered me to allow him to go to after school club. The previous week, he consented to his first ever haircut with electric clippers, consented to have cream applied to a sore on his nose, and started to learn to ride a balance bike. Dont get me wrong he still has behaviour problems and outbursts, he still has sensory issues, but its as if all of a sudden he has matured a little and settled down a little. Im so proud of him.
  19. BTW sainsbury's still does a pink berry flavour toothpaste for kids, own brand, and its the only one our little boy will tolerate. There are other berry flavoured ones, but it has to be this one! Also, DGS age 6 had bad front teeth due to his mum neglecting them when he was a toddler, although he started brushing them reluctantly when he came to live with me. The dental hospital were unable to treat him, sent him to the children's, and under anaesthetic they removed his bad front teeth and put metal caps on the back ones whilst he was under.
  20. Just read this and it rang bells. My daughter, now 23, has always needed reminding or persuading about teeth brushing. Now she lives semi independently she often doesnt bother and has absolutely chronic halitosis. There isnt a deal you can do about it. I keep hoping the boyfriend will shame her into it. She doesnt see the need to go to a dentist. She isnt frightened, just cant see the need. She went with me and her brother when she was younger and had braces and it was a nightmare getting her to keep her teeth properly clean. Her bro also had braces and now has lovely teeth but he really looks after them. If its any consolation, its never too late to have braces, I had them when I was in my late 20s after having my second child. It was painful, gruelling, and when I first had them put in I thought I would never eat a proper meal again. But Im soo sooo glad I had it done.
  21. My daughter (age 23) has Asperger's and she seems to play the same music over and over, she has quite a small playlist too, and many of her favourite songs are ones we played when she was growing up. She seems to take her musical choices from other people, anything that me or her dad have played a lot she likes. Its a good job we're cool isnt it? We all like indie/rock etc. (now Ive said that, I know it means we arent). When she was 13 we all went to see Pulp together! I couldnt play the same track over and over, but when I was younger I could play the same album over and over. If I like a song and want to hear it again, 3 repeats are about enough. When our daughter was younger, she used to play a video of Donald and Daisy over and over continually, or the Little Mermaid... We all knew those off by heart. Both my daughter and grandson like gaming and Ive noticed that the games play the same songs over and over again too.
  22. Thanks, the recording equipment sounds like a great idea... you have to go with what they are interested in. I dont know why Im surprised really, because if we put music on he usuallly dances, but then he gets too silly and injures one of his sisters, so its game over. I do feel a be surprised that music is one of his things though, but all our family appreciates music but the men arent usually dancers!
  23. R went to dancing class for the first time today and he loves it. It was meant to be for his sister, but he went along and took it for granted he was joining in. It didnt bother him that there were no other boys there, I dont think he even noticed. He was running about quite a bit before the class started, but once the music came on and the teacher started doing the warm ujp he joined in and he managed to complete the whole one hour class (proud moment). The teacher knew about his ASD and said she thought he did really well. She has had experience of a child with autism before, which is helpful, but she didnt give him any different treatment to the rest of the class. I dont know if he will keep it up, or go every week, but his sister wants to, so he will come along anyway. I dont think he will want to do the twice yearly shows but thats no reason for him not joining in with the class. To be honest, a year ago, I wouldnt have dreamt this was possible. Anyone else got an ASD child who goes to dancing?
  24. peaches

    flatulence

    I have this, as part of IBS, dairy products make it worse. Try and find triggers by writing a food diary and noting when he farts most. At one point I took charcoal tablets and they did help. I have recently been diagnosed with gallstones, and apparently one of the symptoms is lots of wind.
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