peaches

I sympathise. At least you were brave enough to take them somewhere. I avoid going anywhere because I cant do 3 at once. Its wrong I know. Social Services = chocolate fireguard.

This has brought back quite a few memories. My (Asperger's) daughter now 22, wouldnt wear a jumper to school. The school she attended had a proper uniform but she would only wear the blazer and the blouse even in the depths of winter. The funny thing is DH is exactly the same, he has always hated coats. My DD didnt get any more colds than the average child, DH gets less colds than me so in some cases its just one of those things you have to go along with. My DD couldnt tolerate labels in her clothes either. DGS is also getting a bit awkward about certain clothes, but not as bad as his mum was. He doesnt seem to like 2 layers of sleeves eg long sleeved t shirt under sweatshirt or jumper, he wont wear a vest either, but he seems OK in his school uniform of cotton polo shirt and sweatshirt. He just chews them. I think its a case of trial and error, see what they cope with. I accept now that DD and DH just dont feel things the same way as I do.

We have bought one for R for Christmas as he is really absorbed in Game Cube and Game Boy, and he asked for it. Fortunately his birthday is boxing day so its a joint present. I hadnt thought about all the thrashing about though!! We have got the Mario Kart game in with our bundle which has a special wheel, which I hope doesnt have to be thrown about!!! The sports games wont interest him as he is mad on Mario and Sonic. In fact, they are his "specialist subject" ... the amount of detail he gave the CAMHS psychologist who was passing him in the corridor about a sonic game probably convinced her of his Asperger's. She couldnt get away from him! We didnt have to show him how to use the game boy or game cube, it was somehow instinctive. However, he is really bad at board games, has to control everyone's play and has to win, also has to make up novel new ways of playing Ludo, so I really dont see the Wii being a sharing game for him. Im sure its the right present for him though as he is so into gaming he ignores most of his last years toys like pirate ship, scalextric, lego etc.

Have found this: http://www.britishbabyshower.co.uk/toddlers.html scroll down to Peter Potty Urinal. But I think it would be a stop gap and maybe better to persuade proper use of the toilet. I also saw something that you put on the pan that acted as a splash deflector and protected the back of the toilet with a sort of screen, but if our little girl came up to the toilet she would have to remove this, so not ideal. Showed it to DH and he said today he watched him do a wee and he was perfect, no problems. So why are we paddling? Well DH said that he holds his shirt up with one hand and it may be whilst he is messing about with that he isnt looking at where his wee is going. I also suspect that DH put the seat up for him, and sometimes he charges in, desperate and cant get the seat up in time. I suppose half term is a good time to monitor this.

Ive heard of the "Wee Man" before but not the Fisher Price. Will look it up. I think you are right about the desperate thing, but he wont go if he doesnt feel the need to go. He gets very stroppy if you ask him to go and he doesnt want to go. We had a carpet in here when we first moved in, it lasted about a week ...

Yes, this is what they are looking for. Look at the job description and see how you can give examples from your own life which illustrate how you have what they are looking for. Also, questions can often centre around a difficult situation, and they ask you what you would do in such a situation. In these cases there shouldnt be a right or wrong answer, but they are looking at if you think on your feet and can demonstrate the qualities and knowledge that they are looking for. But if you dont have a particular skill/piece of knowledge/qualification you can say that honestly, but add that you are usually quick to learn these things and would really appreciate being trained in that skill/doing a course on that etc. When I was a teacher I wasnt particularly good at interviews though. I went on and on for too long! We all used to chat about them and it seemed that all of us had a different approach, it was often a case of if you were the best fit for the team concerned.

BTW he is nearly 6. I nearly got the potty out again today. I couldnt believe how much pee was on the floor and splashed all over the seat, lid and cistern. I know all boys are fairly messy as I have a son of my own who is now 26 and remember doing a lot of wiping up. But this really is all over the place. Not small puddles around the back and sides of the loo, but big big puddles. I dont think any gets down the pan. I will try the ball thing, and the paper for the splash. I think he needs help putting the seat up tbh, it might confuse him because we have one of those integrated child and adult seats, so if its not clipped together there are 3 bits. By the time he has figured out he has to lift something he has peed all over the place. I think the problem is, I have my own health problems and going up to the toilet with him each time just isnt an option, especially with a toddler too. We will keep on keeping on. I know some people have a special urinal attachment for boys, but as his sister uses the loo its just one more thing for them to put in place or move out of the way before they use the loo. Not much fun if youre desperate.

Well done. I cant imagine a whole night to ourselves!

Im really glad your boy got invited to the party. Last year, our DGS was in reception and got quite a few party invites. This year (Y1) he has had less, and I keep hearing mention of parties for people in his class where he hasnt been invited. He also doesnt get invited to other kids houses for tea. I really feel for him, because I think people are avoiding him because he can be difficult. This must happen to so many other children like him.

My daughter who has Asperger's (now age 22) could never ride a bike even with stabilizers. She once got some roller skate boots and fell over and broke her wrist first time out. She also walks into the person next to her if she goes out walking anywhere. My grandson, also Asperger's isnt interested in riding a bike unless you push him. So I would say its extremely common and think if I was in your position I would want someone to fund him getting to and from school somehow, if he has ASD and has to walk 2 miles to school. Or would this come under DLA mobility?

If they are very passive, like my daughter, the diagnosis is easy to miss for family members. I knew she was different but it was difficult to tell what was wrong. She was diagnosed as Asperger's aged 22. I still feel angry at times that so many professionals missed this, but in the 80s and early 90s you didnt hear much about Aspergers and I had only encountered a severely autistic child and knew she wasnt quite like that. When Child, Adolescent and Family Therapy team saw her when she was 14 they thought she might be depressed but wouldnt do anything about it as she refused to talk to them. Once she started secondary school I was never off the doorstep as she was always in bother, but not for causing trouble or being violent, just for not doing any coursework and not doing homework, not turning up for detention, then refusing to answer the teachers when they asked what was wrong. I just wish I knew then what I know now. In the poll I voted one of each, as Im the primary carer for my grandchildren and my grandson has Asperger's. I am watching for signs in the girls too ...

My first and biggest complaint about CAMHS would be the waiting. Lets face it, when you get referred youre usually at your wits end anyway. We were referred, told 4 month waiting list, then after 4 months I phoned weekly for an appointment and each time I was fobbed off with the same answer "Its going to a meeting next monday and it will be allocated to a clinician ...." Thing is, I was told this every week for 6 weeks and in the end I naturally became rather irate. Then I was told my appointment would be in December or February, that is 8 to 10 months not 4! I know that some of you will have waited longer, but it is still unacceptable dont you think? I was so cross I wrote a really assertive, strong letter about the whole process. I got a phone call a few days later and also a week later a letter from the head clinician in the team. It did explain the process but didnt bring our assessment appointments forward any. But I think because I was such a pain to them (constantly ringing up and asking for what I thought was my childs right), they gave me a general appointment with a Clinical Psychologist. I this one cant make the diagnosis but is just taking the history and giving advice. In other words she is marking time until our appointment comes up with the ADHD and ASD team. Yes, she is really nice. But not really any use except for me to let off steam to!

Well at least you can get it back. Most GPs are fine about private referalls. I have had one for a womens problem, when I needed to see a surgeon quickly. The GP just wrote me a letter, I phoned the Consultant, got appointment within days, paid up and claimed it back from my health scheme. The same consultant then transferred me to his NHS clinic (ow! dont pick on me for this!!! we dont have full private insurance, its just a contributory health scheme that DH has always done through work). I found I could see NHS consultants privately (only quicker!) so it should be quite easy to find one. I would suggest you go armed with a few names, just in case your GP cant suggest anyone. Good luck. Im holding fire on going private with DGS. He had his first CAMHS appointment this week and the clinical psychologist was very nice. I also phoned her to ask a question today and she actually rang me back and had quite a decent lengthy conversation with me! I will reserve judgement though until all the assessments have been done and we receive the verdict!

If we get offered this for DGS I certainly wont worry about it affecting his fertility ... My (Asperger's) daughter has had 4 unplanned pregnancies which have had very far reaching effects mostly because she cant bring the kids up herself. Sometimes I wish that something had affected her fertility. But thats just me! Dont take offence, Im sure you wont want your son's fertility affected!

My DGS hasnt had an assessment nor diagnosis, and is just starting his appointments at CAMHS, but many people including the clinical psychologist have mentioned Asperger's or ASD and his mum has Asperger's so there is a good chance that he has too. We have a few difficulties around the toilet! We thought they were caused by a tight foreskin, this was operated on and isnt tight now, but some problems still remain. DGS is nearly 6. He prefers a potty chair, doesnt like the toilet. He will stand up and wee in the toilet if there is no potty, but will not do bowel movements in the toilet. When he does pee in the toilet, his aim is bad and there is usually more on the floor. He doesnt like the water splash when sitting on the loo and despite a very secure infant seat (the flip down type that is part of adult seat) he wont use the toilet. His little sister aged 2 3/4 uses the toilet and wipes herself. He can do neither. I am trying to teach wiping by back chaining i.e. I do most of it and he finishes the job with the final wipe atm. I have tried hiding the potty, but he got upset today about doing a poo so I got it out again. Tonight took the biscuit though. DH was putting him to bed and reading to him. He started to wee on DH's arm, DH leapt up and saw DGS with jama bottoms down and willy out. He has never done this before and I ve had a hard time persuading DH it was something he couldnt help. Sometimes he has weed himself whilst being on the computer but we thought he just got overinvolved in the game and didnt want to get up. He hasnt done this for a while though. Obviously we will discuss all this with clin psych at next appointment. Has anyone else had problems with this sort of thing and if they have could they solve it?

Im glad you mentioned this. I am from Sheffield and considered taking our lad to Magna next week, but Ive realised now that the noise level would be a real issue. Thanks!

Its hard to make a relaxed atmosphere in our house as he is the eldest of 3. This morning though, he was near to his target on his chart and I offered extra stars for being helpful, as well as the one he gets for being ready to go at 8.35. He managed it and actually helped his sisters by getting their shoes. He still had to grab a dinosaur to take, but I just let that go. If school want to make an issue I will raise it at the meeting after half term with the Ed Psych. I think its a comfort thing too, like taking a little bit of home with you! When I reflect I can be a bit like that when Im going away on holiday, taking everything but the kitchen sink.

Most kids are a bit of a nightmare getting out of the house on time in a morning but we seem to have hassle every time we leave the house. R Always needs to take something with him. It isnt necessarily the same thing but he realises just before we leave the house that today he must take X with him. X is usually toy related, yesterday it was the instruction book to the game cube game Zelda. The day before it was the free McDonalds toy. Sometimes its a particular game boy game. You get the picture. He isnt allowed toys in school so we often have to wrestle it off him or get the teacher to save it. I came up with the strategy of nominating a small soft toy to take with him so it could live in his school drawer and remind him of home. This was nipped in the bud by the headmaster who asked him not to bring it anymore as he was throwing it around all the time. There is not only the needing to take the toy, but generally at going out time, especially if it isnt school he gets over excited and generally runs around making daft noises, knocking over his little sisters, following either myself or my husband everywhere acting really hyper. I am trying hard to understand this. Its obviously due to some anxiety when we go out. I have absolutely no idea what to do about it though. It drives us all crazy and makes us late many a time. If we are going to the hospital I allow an extra half hour for the difficult behaviour, so I dont miss the appointment. Has anyone else had this, or overcome it?

I can't offer any solutions, just sympathy. My own (Asperger's) daughter, now 22, was a smelly teen. Her NT older brother was very particular about cleanliness and used to complain about his sister. She did seem to improve as she got older but sometimes she is still BO on legs! We often found soiled or wet pants stuffed down the side of the bed, so maybe you need to find the hiding place. I dont know if your DD has periods yet, but my daughter ignored her first one and I had to ... well help a lot with that sort of thing. We were always finding soiled pants in the laundry bin too, sometimes she didnt wipe her bottom (when in teens) sometimes she didnt bother with sanitary pads etc etc. Sorry if TMI! We didnt know at the time she had Asperger's so we just kept nagging her! I do think getting a boyfriend helped, but he isnt exactly Mr Personal Hygiene himself... Good luck, keep buying the toiletries and supplies and hope they get used!

R hasnt finished his CAMHS appointments yet but everything seems to be pointing to the Aspergers. His mother has been diagnosed with Aspergers as an adult, but as a child we just thought she was different. (for those of you who dont know me its worth mentioning here that I am R's maternal grandmother, I am bringing him up and two of his 3 sisters). Obviously if R has Asperger's and his mum has Asperger's the chances of one of his 3 sisters having it are quite high, I think. The clinical psychologist also asked me if there were any signs. I know that girls present with quite different symptoms to boys. I also know that my daughter was completely different to her son, she was more passive, introverted. She didnt show any particular developmental delay either and is quite bright. One of the things she did as a child was lining up toys. DGD1 aged almost 3 does this, but she is very outgoing and animated in her play and doesnt show any of the sensory problems that her brother has, so Im hoping she might be OK but obviously its too soon to tell. She has started with temper trantrums recently, but thats all part of being 2 I think, and they are much less frequent and severe than her brothers. DGD2 is aged 15 months and seems quite like her brother in many ways but unlike her sister somehow. She seems to stare at me frowning sometimes, something Ive not experienced from one so small. She doesnt like hugging or nursing to sleep, we just put her in her cot and she goes off with her blanky. She is a good sleeper though. She can be very physical, often pushes other kids. She is also very strong willed. And she squeals. She does make speech like sounds - her own name, her sisters name but her first words are mostly the same has her brothers: "here!" when she wants something. I know they are all different, but it would be helpful if you could point me in the right direction of what to look for in small girls!

Well we went. As it happened I took R with us as I thought he was starting with a virus and can be extremely trying when ill. My MIL sat for the two girls and I know she wouldnt have been able to cope with him too. But fortunately he just played with the castle and the pirate ship in the corner whilst I talked to the clinical psychologist. It was mostly taking family history. We have a complicated background and we need another session to complete this, which he neednt attend. We also have 3 more appointments with the more specialised psychologists at the end of the year. I felt quite positive. Fingers crossed.

This post has really helped me because since going into Y1 R has been very difficult and I thought it was just change of teacher etc. But she is always saying that she has difficulty getting him to sit down and do anything and he keeps throwing himself around/going under the table etc. I realise now its because in year 1 they do more sitting down and writing than in Reception. He obviously doesnt have the same opportunities to let off steam, plus its more structured. We are having a really bad week this week too, but Im starting to make more sense of his behaviour. Thanks!

This is something Im definitely going to try. Ive been reading about the sensory diet and its amazing how many of the activities are things that R enjoys already. Please let me know where to get one from or even how to make one, as my mum has done a bit of quilting.

Can someone please tell me the difference between toe walking and sometimes walking on tip toe? The reason I ask is that DS (almost 6) used to do this a lot when he was younger, but I havent seen him do it for a while. But both his sisters (age 1 and 2 1/2) occasionally walk on tiptoe, the older one less than the younger one now. DS has Asperger's and as far as we know the girls are NT. DS also used to stand on the spot going up and down on his tiptoes when he was angry. Anyone else had this?

I phoned CAMHS today to ask about who to take to the appointment. They agreed it was unnecessary to bring the little ones along. The clinician said I could just come on my own for the first appointment and she would talk to me about our DS. I was quite surprised they didnt want to see him. Im not sure what school will be doing about the Ed Psych but I understood I was going to see her at a meeting next week in School. Today though, something good happened. Our neighbour's daughter had volunteered for babysitting a couple of weeks ago. After we got chatting it turned out she was on placement at our son's school in the next class to him, and he had noticed her. She is going to DS and DD1 for a couple of hours after school twice a week, either playing with them at home or taking them to the park. Today was the first time, and apparently he was good!!! (beginners luck or novelty value?).