Sooze2

This was the first time Ive helped with sentences this term, he had become so wound up and angry that I'd told the teacher any work he hands in was done on his own and she was to allow for that. He got 2 out of 10 last week. But I knew he would be very confused by these so I helped him and I had already paid his sisters 25p each for doing their homework (!) and he wanted his money which seemed to work this time - I know it won't work again though. He still said he wanted to die a few times but resisted punching himself in the head and breaking his pencil all the way through this time which was nice! Hey ho! This I what Ive been wondering JsMum, since the school feel he needs 1 to 1 at school (which he doesn't get) and gets anxious at school why do they think it is any different at home? I don't know, should he treated differently or not. Thats what I wander.

These were the spellings he had to write sentences about this week- Allowed Aloud Cereal Serial Grown Groan Piece Peace He will be tested on these spellings on Monday. How do you think he will do? Poor lad! It took us over an hour to write the sentences, they usually contain about 7 words each. How do your children get on with spelling and making up sentences, its like pulling teeth here.

I love you guys, thank you so much. I thought I was going into "over protective parent" mode again for a moment and getting all paranoid about querying it. So he should have SALT and an OT then! SALT used to come in to do speech therapy with him at my request in reception, I think that stopped at the end of year one. I didn't realise they helped with communication aswell, well not until I started using this site anyway. What would they do to help him and can I get them school to have them in for him? Can an OT come to school or does he go to them, I need to sort that out too. Christ I may as well become an ed ###### psyc myself at this rate! AT my last parent meeting of year 3 in July his teacher said she was trying to get funding for him to have a lap top because his writing is so slow and spelling so bad, they seem to have forgotten that too! I'll do another post about homework in a mo I think! I thought things would start to get easier once he had the diagnosis but I didn't allow forhis new teacher to be te "oh he's been fine" type.

I received my son's IEP from school on Friday, he is on school action plus. He dosn't have a statement but the school are supposed to be sorting it out at the moment, I asked them to apply for stat assessment in July.......... This is what is in his IEP, could you tell me if this is what you have or are they just typing randum things just to say they have done it!........ ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Main Concern: Communication & Interaction, Emotional, Behavioural & Social School Action + Positive reinforcement and encouragement from home and school - Time allocation - T/TA/Home Speech and language support via provision of a communication programme to home and school - Time allocation - on going support from speech and language teem - he was discharged from them a couple of years ago! Targeted support in Literacy - Time Allocation - As necessary (T/TA) Child Developement Centre Involvement - Ongoing Educational Psychologist Involvement - Ongoing Targets To ask for help if he needs it Be able to express his feelings when talking about his work or freindships To say if he is pleased or unhappy with his work or freindships To work positively on developing fine motor skills Begin writing tasks with indepedence and be pleased with his efforts if he completes a task (he has only ever completed a task once, the TA made a point of telling about it because it had never happed in the 4 years he has been at school - I never knew this!) Childs Target - to ask for help if I need it! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Is this what is on your childs IEP, is that really it?! Autism Oureach have said he will be starting a group soon involving lots of game play and social skills help etc. He is meant to be working with a TA most of the time which he tells me he isn't. When he asks for help sometimes he gets it but mostly they tell him to wait and then go to someone else who asks after him. They say he needs a full time TA so why isn't there anything here about his educational needs? I won't go on any more but I need to speek to them about this but I need to know whether I am right to query it's content. He is diagnosed with Autism and ADHD, surely if he has a diagnosed communication dissorder he is going to find "expressing his feelings, saying if he is pleased or unhappy and asking for help" very very hard in a classroom of 35 other students! Please help!

We were offered meds by his consultant but we decided not to go down that road at the moment because I feel he is too young to really tell us how they make him feel. I dissucussed it with the school and they said they have a couple of kids on meds and for one if works but it has made him a bit zombie like and for the other they have seen no difference. I know it does work well for a lot of people though. My son started taking Menatonin to help him sleep about 2 months ago and that really has made a difference all round, he gets enough sleep so is better behaved than before during the day, he's still a handful at school but but nicer at home than before. Does your son have support at school, personally I would wait untill he has proper support at school and see how he goes after that. If the teacher pushed him and bumped his head she is obviousely not dealing with him very well at all, could you ask for Autism Outreach to go to the school and teach them how to deal with certain behaviour, surely if they already have 6 AS kids in the school they should be able to understand how they tick and pushing them around really isn't the answer! ((((hugs)))

Christmas

I asked the school to start the Statementing processes and ask for statutory assessment before the school holidays. This term they have said they are doing the Statutory Assessment and once they send it in the LEA have 16 weeks to say yes or no to a statement. Is this right? Can I read all the paperwork before they send it off or should I be happy that they are doing it and trust what they are putting forward? Did you get to read things through first and did you have any input in to this statutory assessment. I'm a bit confused because from what Ive read on here I thought I would be involved in this prossess!!! Editing to say, I'm sure that they request the assessment and the LA agree/don't agree to do it. Does this mean the Parent support Advisor is working for the LA or the school, surely she must work for the LA if she can do the assessment and gather evidence! Does it matter? Perhaps I should go to bed

My son still can't share and will snatch things he wants out of peoples hands with no warning. What I found with play dates etc was that I would put all his favourite toys away out of sight before people came to prevent the meltdowns, its sounds extreme but it was so hard to deal with especially because the parents would insist on staying for a "nice chat and a coffee". I still have to treat him the same as when he was little. If he has a tatrum when out he has to sit next to me, it doesn't matter where we are or what we are doing. After throwing his scooter around at other kids in the park I made him sit next to me and had to hold his wrist and make him stay there, he hit me threw grass at me and put it down my top etc etc but I made him stay. It took a long time for him to calm down but it takes less time each time because he knows I won't let him go off and do the same thing again. If he does it outside school I take him back in and make him sit on a chair till he is calm. At home he has to go in his room untill he is calm and I say he can come out. With toddler group I was very lucky, at one point I said I wasn't going to take him to the toddler group anymore and the ladies who ran it said I should keep coming so he learnt that he had to share or there were consequeses. I would take him into another room and make him sit down till he was calm. He thought that all the trikes belonged to him and if a child dared to sit on the one he may have liked to used next he would go absolutely mad!!!! It was torture really and I hated it but I am so glad I did it now. Ive found that holding his wrist and marching him off is easier than trying to hold him, that way he can't hit me because I keep him an arms length away from me! That sounds awful eh lol. Sometimes when he is having a go outside school I stretch my hand out and put it on his chest so he can't get to me. You could dig out the buggy and start taking it with you. Tell him that when he starts having a tantrum or tries to hurt you he will be strapped in the buggy and follow it through. Try and catch him before he goes into full meltdown so he's not at his strongest. I used to put DS in it and hold him in by putting my knee in his belly so I could do the straps up. This worked fairly quickly and after doing it a few times just the threat of the buggy was enough. I know he is too big for the buggy but that in it self may be enough to stop him but you do need to do it at leat once to let him know you mean what you say. Don't worry about what others think, just blank them and concentrate on what you have to do, they may now deal with their children in the way that you do but that is none of their business. My son knows what he should and shouldn't do in theory, he passed the therory of mind tests with flying colours but he can't put them into practice. He knows the social rules, is obsessed with others adhearing to them but they don't apply to him. He just can't see that coming out of school and whacking me around the legs repeatedly with his cornet case whilst screeming his head off because we have to go to the doctors with his little sister is unccaptable but if another child were to do that he would be outraged!!! He was poorly for a couple of days this week and so nice and calm, no sisters to deal with no school, just driving his cars around the front room in and out of his garage. If only everyday could be like that eh. I hope things settle down for ou soon.

Just to add, my cousins daughter asked for an ELC wooden farm when she was nine. She loved it and played with it every day for well over a year with all her little horses. She was and still is into unicorns, harry potter and all things to do with dragons and wizards from a very young age. She loves crystles, and rocks etc etc. She still loves these things (to a lesser extent) at 13 coming up 14. She has never played with dolls - never been interested in them. She has never been bullied because of this and has some really good freinds who don't see it as a problem. When my husbands Aunt who is an ex-teacher met her she thought she was a bit weird and would have problems as she got older, but she is fine, popular and confident. Kids spend all their school life trying to be like everyone else - home should be where they can be who they are and what they want without being judged. I tell DS, yes you can play babies and barbies with your sisters but if you feel that the other boys would say its not for boys just don't tell them about it - it works for him. In fact most of his freinds love my girls' littest pet shops, playing with the dolls house and all sorts of things they would never admit to at school I know because they play with it all here! I also know of boys older than 9 who hide the teddies that they sleep with in their mums room when their mates come around so they won't get laughed at, its funny what other mums will tell you isn't it! I don't think kids actually stop using these things as young as we think, they just don't let on that they have them to their mates for fear of being laughed at. My freinds daughter was bullied at school by another girl because she liked winnie the poo - she was 5!!! What is the world coming to?!

Hiya, Ive not read the other replies but I would get her the dolly and cot etc if that is what she wants. The ammount of times I have bought DS (9 next week) things that I think he would like and they have never been used is unreal, he has Knex, magnetix, meccano etc etc and has never used them apart from the day they were opened and I played with them with him and he walked off dissinterested after 5 minutes. A girl in DS's class got a large blue person (can't remember name!) from the night garden last christmas - she was 8 - that is what she asked for and she is just an average child. Annabelle is very well loved here, the girls got them for their 3rd brithdays 3 years ago and she is still going strong and used most days. They have asked for the new version which I'm getting for Xmas this year and maybe a pram to go with it. I think some girls are into babies and some barbies/brats - mine have both but have never really played with barbies/bratz but will use baby dolls all day long and I can see that continuing for a few years yet. I would give her the Argos book and let her choose what she likes - I have to do this now for DS as he hates surprises and will not cope at all on his birthday unless he knows whats happening. My son only plays with cars and lego, its getting hard to buy different ones now. He is loving the girls Littlest Pet Shops that they had for their birthday the other day though. He has seen something in the argos book that he likes but is worried because its only for girls!!!! He is VERY hard to buy for!

My son was thought to be deaf at 6 months but would scream at sudden noises like laughing, the hoover, a drill etc etc. He had grommits fitted at 5 which solved the hearing problem. That didn't stop him zoneing out and not reponding to people when they spoke to him though, thats when we thought he was just totally ignorant lol! Now we know different. So yes he did have a hearing problem but now he just has a reponding problem!!!

One of the best things I bought mine were music toys from ELC etc. They had toy trombones, drums, rainmakers, bells that wrap around their ankles, marakas etc etc lots of different things, and they all had a great time playing music man and generally making a huge ammount of noise with them. Very very noisy and great fun........... if you can cope with the mayhem they cause. Our local market now sells lots of different traditional instraments quite cheeply now too some of which make the most mesmirising noises. All kids love to make a noise eh! I bought toy food and tea set for DS when he was 2 and he will still play with those now he is 9, he loved with a passion the wooden dolls house (still does) but the girls aren't interested! Oh have you got any little people toys? Some of those sets have teaching sections. There are really good as are the ELC Happy Land sets, great for teaching pretend play which me and his consultant have realised was just that - I taught him to pretend play because he still plays with these toys in exactly the same way as he did when he was 2 when I was sitting with him and showing him how to play with them! Bless. Rather than buying a console for her you could go on the CBBies website and places like that and help her do some of the games, there are lots of then out there. Or you could buy some cheep PC games for her to use. I say that because she may not take to a console yet and you may as well use the pc since you already have it. Have fun, I love choosing toys for my kids.

Goodbye.......... and Hellooooooooooooooo

My son does this but he doesn't it on purpose to see how loud he can make it! Sometimes he is fine and then other days he stomps around the house and especially down the stairs so noisily it is unbeleivable. My DH does it but isn't aware of it, he is very heavy footed and stomps around so noisily but swears its because he's tall and gets very annoyed if I mention it.

Iwould just go with cutting every dairy product out of the diet completley for a few weeks and then say, on a Monday give a few sips a milk and no other dairy for that week and see what happens. You don't really need the tests unless you are unsure what the alergy is. I was lucky because mine are identical twins, I gave one a few sips of a milk shake the other wouldn't have any (she hates dairy), the one who drank the shake had diaoreah for over a week and had little spots apear on her face - the other was fine so it was an easy test for us in one way. Good luck

Have you found any negative effects from other parents around the school since the children have been told Suze? I only ask because Ive found that the kids accept my son for who he is partly because a lot of them have known him since nursery or just from us being in the park all the time (trying to wear him out!lol) but the parents are the ones who glare and fuss when he is having a tantrum or just acting a bit odd. Our Autism Outreach lady is lovely too so I would probably take your advise and ask them to step in when the time come to tell him. Its a minefeild isn't it!

Its so hard isn't it. I can only tell you what I am feeling about my son at the moment. Ive rambled a bit!! My son was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD last month, at our last meeting 2 weeks ago the consultant said that he needs to be told soon. I have thought this over and feel that he doesn't need to be told yet - he's 9 next month. He is feeling very confident and good about himself in all areas of his life for the past few weeks and school are happy with how he has settled in his new class etc. The school are great and doing a lot of work to ensure he is happy though so he is lucky. I feel that telling him now will make him start thinking of himself as very different to his peers (which he has felt before but not at the moment) and because he feels that he is fitting in really well it would make him single himself out and move away from the group again. I also know that he will say something along the lines of "I threw her off the trampoline because I have asd or adhd and I couldn't help it" he will manipulate every situation if he thinks he can get away with it so if I give him a get out of jail free card he will use it at every opportunity. Autism Outreach came to school this morning and I had a chat with her about this and she was happy for him not to be told yet, he is feeling good about himself and is settled so now is not the right time. She said I will know when the time is right. Personally I would start inviting his new freinds for tea and see how they interact and if they really do think your son is different and whether they see that difference as a good thing or not. DS's freinds accept his differences and they do make him quite an interesting freind to have and make him quite entertaining, for the moment a least. They get to set up the wooden train set so that it runs all over the house, they can't do that usually because theirs was given away when they were 5 and they tell me that they wished it wasn't because they still like playing with trains really. They get to make things out of wood using real saws at his little worshop, they talk about the inventions they are going to make when they get older and spend hours discussing who will do what. They ask to do Hama beads and learn that they are not just for girls etc etc the thing is you can introduce things to their freinds that they would never dream of doing and as long as you make it interesting they will leave your house feeling like your son is different but in such a great way. DS has boundless energy and can't turn his brain off at all ever so his freinds are never bored when they are with him, they don't get a chance to think about whether he is different or not because he doesn't allow then a chance to think about anything other than what is happening there and then!! I know that it will change as they get older though and I think the parents will probably be the ones who point it out to their children rather than the kids noticing! We do talk a lot about his thoughts and feelings about things and he is aware about being different but he feels there are a lot of possitives that go with it. I have bought books to read to him written for asd kids and I will get them out soon and see if the questions come and go from there. Everything is lead by my kids, if they ask I answer so I will go will the flow the same goes for everything including the "where do babies come from and how do they get in there" question Not much help am I really but I thought I would add a few possitives to being different.

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> I'm so sorry you are going through this, stay strong. <'> <'> <'>

I also find that the lower down the car the worse the nausea is. DH has a Mondeo for work and every time I travel in it even for a very short distance I feel very ill, I am fine in our people carrier though which is very high up. Poor Bill, what a way for him to start the day. I also think a new driver is in order too, he shouldn't mention it at all when driving and as it will make B think about it even before it happens.

Late night ramblings.........feel free to ignore. So, we have the diagnosis. We went to a meeting at CHAMS last week and she said "oh you havn't brought him with you" she told us not to bring him in the letter! We said that in the letter we were going to discuss treatment but we didn't want meds for his ADHD yet but wanted to see how he settles back into school first, she seemed unaware of what was in the letter! She gave me some leaflets about what books to buy and a contact number of a support group and then basically said she won't be seeing us again unless he becomes totally unmanageable and then she will try him on some meds. She said I had obviousely done a lot of reading about it all so we are coping fine which we are but because of this are we now deemed not to need any follow up appointments and support? Looks like we are now on our own. Ive phoned the support group organiser and emailed her, she emailed back to say she'll be in touch but hasn't been. The school are saying how good he is being but I don't know what they are doing with him or how they are helping him. Autism Outreach are coming in on Monday, she may have time to see him and may be able to speek to me but then again she may not! WTF!!! Surely now is the time we need guidance and support, I have faught for him for a long time and we are pleased things are now being recognised, I have started to try and focus on other things rather than my thoughts being constantly on him. I have this kind of surreal thing going on, Ive been caught up in the living nightmare in trying to get people to listen to me for a few years and now that they have they seem to be saying "OK Mrs, youve got what you wanted now ###### off" Its probably all in my mind though but its a strange feeling.

WE had one for DS for the first couple of months of year 3 because he wasn't settling into juniors very well to say the least! They were quite good with it but then it was deamed not necessary and stopped. I asked for it to be started again during the last term of year 3 and it never came, now that he is in year 4 they still won't start the book up again. Autism outreach are coming in on monday to see a few children so lets hope I get to speek to them and see if I can get this book sorted so I know what is going on at school!

<'> <'> <'> Thinking of you.

My son can not stand being hot, even as a baby he would go bright red and scream if I put a cardie on him. Every year I buy him new jumpers and give away the "old" ones which are still practically brand new, he's the same with long trousers and only wears shorts unless it's very cold and I make him wear long ones - this is no mean feat I can tell you. The night terrors/sleep walking is interesting. He has been walking already tonight. Its interesting what you and JB are saying about the possibility of seizures because I have wondered about this myself. Sometimes he will walk and then sit down while I talk to him and shake, his whole body shakes and he is usually quite hot as well. When this happens he is usually talking but not aware of what I am asking him and gets muddled up. The night terrors started when he was about 7 months and the walking as soon as he went into a bed at 2. The consultant said he can't be sleep walking but must be awake, I described what he does but she said she's never heard anything like it and just carried on saying he must be awake. She's never heard of night terrors either though so sleep may not be her field hey!

The girls aren't lactose intolerant (had a blood test) so the dietician said it is the milk protein that is the problem which includes cassien. People who are lactose intolerant can have goats milk but goats milk contains milk protein so thats out for us too. I was told there wasn't a blood test that could be done for the milk protein, a freind's daughter had tests which involved pricking the skin recently to see if she was still milk intolerant it also showed up egg allergy too. I may look into that because they refused to do it before but Ive changed doctors so we shall see eh. Personally if I were you I would go to the gp and tell him you would like all these tests you had done in Turkey confirmed by a doctor here and see if you ca get a referral.

I could have written your post a year ago, I also think you should push for a referral too. I ended up writting a diary of things that he did every time it happened, every day there was something majour going on with him at home. They also said he was totally fine at school but it wasn't the case at all. Mum knows best.