chris54

Just been reading back over some of this topic. Don't think we would be able to play some of these complex games with multiple players, our Internet is not that fast, and drops out once or twice an hour. Time, my son likes to know how time is going. how long left, how long before. Maybe that runs in the family, I remember my dad would check his watch ever few minuets. he had 2 or 3 clocks in each room of the house. Maybe I'm the same, Just looking around I can see 4 clocks from where I'm sat right now, and off the top of my head I can think of 13 clocks in the house, that's not including clock display on computers, etc.

First I would say that any "Game" that involves "Killing" would not be tolerated in our house. Personally I don't understand any parent that is happy for their child to play such games. The sort of games my son plays are ones were you construct not destroy. Slow moving, they move at your speed. To finish you just press save. Somehow I don't think we are talking about the same thing.

If its something realy important I take it into the school office. Or I will email the school telling them to ask him for said item. School are not to bad at asking for homework, Me thinks its the subject TAs that do that bit. Son now goes to Homework club one day a week, he gets more done in that hour than he ever does at home. Its run by the science TA he should get top marks for science. So at least that's one less day of homework blues.

Neither of my step children went to their secondary school prom. Not realy the sort of thing that either of them ever realy enjoy. As I remember it, the last one (step daughters one) Only about half the kids went, it was at a posh country club and cost the earth for tickets. There was a flotilla of stretched limos turning up (So I was told). It is realy out of hand. The school was a mix of very well off and very hard up. A lot that went on at the school was socially excluding because of the cost, but that another story. My sons primary school leaving do consisted of a disco at the school lasting about a hour and a half, for the children, one night. They were told to come smart but not to go over the top. That didn't stop a few turning up in limos. The next night there was a family barbecue, with a show put on by the children and prise giving. My son didn't want to go the either. Shame realy as he had won a prise for science. Afterwards I think he felt a bit left out as the next day the other children were talking about it and he then felt like he had missed out.

We have found with regard to ending a game, session on the computer or what ever, we have a timer, kitchen type, that we set to the amount of time to spend on an activity, that way son knows how long he has at the start and can see how the time is going along. We seldom have (at the moment) any problems. He is allowed 1 hours a day to play on line games, using the timer he self regulates he use of this time. We even set it for 10 minuets to get dressed for school, now it is a bit of a challenge to see how much time is left when he is ready.

My son likes the idea of "Rough and Tumble" play to an extent but does not like it so much when on the receiving end, he can get very easily upset. Not surprising as he does not enjoy physical touch. He also does not always know were to draw the line. So it is easy when playing what would consider normal "Rough and Tumble" by others for my son to end up in tears and the other child/children to be wondering what it is that they have done. If you only see the end result and not what lead up to it, it would be very easy to draw the wrong conclusion. A child, or adult come to that, could be at risk if the do not fully understand the consequences of there actions, be it victim or perpetrator. The At Risk Register is for when a vulnerable individual is at risk because of the environment they are in.

There was a period of time, before me son was diagnosed when I went through a period of thinking, what did we/are we doing wrong. Not helped by son of the comments by professionals. One always sticks in my mind. Aged about two, we went for the first visit to the speech therapist, We were shown into this small room, and left there. We sat there for about 15 minuets waiting for however we were seeing to turn up. Now I don't know about you but I was brought up that when you are waiting to see someone, Doctor, Dentist etc. you sit quietly and wait your turn. That's what we have always tried to instill in our children. Given that at that time my son had no speech, we sat there in almost silence, with just a few whispered words between my self and we wife. Seems this time was used by the speech therapist to observe us and our interaction with our son. To cut a long story short we were told it was our fault he did not speak. We left with a lot of information about what we should be doing to help his speech development. It contained nothing new, nothing we weren't already doing. At the next appointment, we did the exact opposite was as loud as I could reasonably be and had my son running and jumping (As much as he ever does in a strange place) all over the waiting room. I now know that I am, we are very good parents. Am always being told. To good in fact, as this seems to exclude you from help and support! I was asked by a national charity, and accepted the post of co-organizer of a support drop in parent support group. I did this for about 3 years.It was unpaid so had to stop to earn a living. I cant be dong to much wrong but still reflect on what I,we could be doing better. I know there are things that I could different, am from time to time told I'm doing it all wrong, but I now have the confidence and experience stand my own. The one thing that is lacking is the stamina to do the job of parenting 100% full on.

It may be the late speech development that has made the difference. The term Aspergers will stop being used to officially describe one particular form of ASD, I dare say it will continue to be used unofficially. As I say it is the whole diagnostic which is important and not the headline label. If you read my sons diagnosis it is about 12 pages long, Only on the last page or two do the terms Autism and Aspergers, get a mention. The 12 pages contain the results of the test and reports done over the 12 months that led up to and including the final Clinical Psychologist session with him which lasted best part of 3 hours, which we have (somewhere) on video tape.

Where I work 5 of the residents have an Autism diagnosis. These are 5 very different people. New staff are often surprised by how different. A simple example of this is one will only leave the building with a lot of coxing and support, they need to know where their going how long they will be out and who will be traveling with them etc. Another has to be watched night and day as she will leave the building and go walk abouts at any time. As adults they are free to make their own decisions, but we have to keep them safe. You think that working with autistic people you know all about Autism, then a new resident moves in and you have to learn about it all over again. It will be just the same for teachers and senco's. They will need to learn about your child. It is the professional who thinks they know it all that are the problem, not those that admit they don't. (Think that was a bit off topic) The diagnosis of Autism doesn't just say. "Autism" it gives a (It should do) complete picture of that person. Some people with Autism will need complete support in ever aspect of there lives, all there lives. Other will lead completely independent lives, contributing greatly to society. And of course, there are the rest of us who, with or without an Autism diagnosis, fit somewhere in between these two points.

In my sons original diagnosis it states he has High Functioning Autism (HFA), presenting as Aspergers. The Aspergers was picked up on and in most of the subsequent reports etc it refers to his having Aspergers.

Maybe that it an advantage of going to a large school. My sons school has about 2000 children in total, 350 at the smaller site he goes to. There is a concentration of SEN children at the smaller site. They do not have a problem putting together relationship groups of like minded children. The lunchtime group he goes to is purely voluntary, there are always about 10 children there, these are all kids how just don't get the "free time" thing. His first lesson on a Monday, under the banner of literacy, is a small group, doing a variety of things, some of the work is on individual skills, and some to work on social skills. This Monday the had pancakes. Listening to what other say, I think we must be very fortunate to have found a school, our local mainstream academy school that does provide what the child needs. In my sons statement is says he should get 10 hours of 1-2-1, He doesn't get 10 hours of 1-2-1. He get TA support in all his lessons, most of his lessons are in classes of 10, he gets small group working, he gets access to a lunchtime club. He gets individual handwriting lessons. I could go on. If you add up the total of what he gets it come to much more than is stated in his statement. This is all provided in a large academy school, in an area where the LA is hostile to the idea of SEN school, where they are doing all they can to reduce the number of statements issued, where they are making increasing use of delegated funding for SEN. Point I'm making is don't tar all mainstream school with the same brush. I must say that a year ago I had my doubts about this school despite what I had been told by other. That they had good SEN provision. I had sons name down for the free school we were hoping to be set up. That will not happen now in his school life. But as I have said before it does worry me to some extent that what is currently provided is very much down to the school and staff. If the funding stream for our school was reduced then things could change for the worse. Just as a by word, attempts are in progress to get my sons statement amended to reflect what is being provided in school.

That sounds like sound advise. The problem is where to move them to. Which I think brings us back to the OP.

All we ever get from the LA is that there is adequate SEN provision. They are across the board reducing the number of places in special schools in favor of mainstream units, which will be fully integrated? withing the mainstream schools. I do think that what for one parent/child is "not coping", for anther may be "all's fine". It does depend on were you set the bar. If on the grounds of school attendance/refusal, then my son has always coped, he has never missed a school day other then real illness. If you measure coping with school by how much he get out of going to school, how happy he is when there, then there have been times when I could say he was not copping at all. As a child, I never missed school, but by the age of 11 could not read or write. Was I copping. School was just something you had to do, to get through, if you learnt something along the way that was a bonus. At least that was the way it was seen by many back then. I just missed the school leaving age of 15 and had to stay on untill I was 16, but left as soon after that as I was allowed. Started in a job the next day. Didn't like the job much but at least I got paid. Went on to do an apprenticeship and worked for the next 25 years on building sites. By the measure of most I had done well. Do I wish I had got more out of school, I do now. I feel there is so much in me that is untapped. What I hope to do for my son is to give him the opportunities to fulfill his fall potential. What ever that may turn out to be. Has this gone a bit

I would add that the hardest part of school life for my son is the social interaction. He does not have any friend and only knows a few children's names. It has taken him untill now to remember his teachers names. He talks to other children OK in the class room, even helping some with their work (ICT), but this does not transfer away from the class room, other than if the other child initiates a conversation. When in conversation with an adult he can talk the hind legs of a donkey, if it on a subject that interests him, as the senco has found out. He takes what is said very literal. An example of this was when asked as part of the pupil contribution to the recent interim review. "What do you like about going to school?" answer he gave which is documented was "Walking along the path" As is common, he spend most of his free time at school on his own. This is well documented in the EP reports. The lunch time club has helped with this. He had delayed reading, but now seldom is found without a book in his hand, (Other than when he is doing something on his computer). His hand writing continues to be a big problem, it is almost unreadable, his history teacher has to get one of the TA to translate for her. He tends to spell very phonetically, which does not help. He has now been told he can do his home work on the computer and print it off or email it in. Home work is a problem, Its school work, why do we have to do it at home. It is always done to a standers way below what he is capable of. We are at the moment sorting out after school homework club. It will have to be on a set day with a set time to finish as one of us has to meet him from school. The senco is liaising this, it is run by someone he already works with so hopefully this will solve some of the homework problem. I can not imagine my son going to residential school, but I suppose if we felt it was for the best I would consider it. I think no mater how well suited a school is, there will always be things that need to be addressed. It realy on ongoing thing, what realy help (us) is having the staff on your side.

Our son is in his first year at a mainstream secondary school, he is academically able and excels at science, ICT and maths. Despite the school being an academy, they do make good provision for SENs, and are at the moment bidding to have an ASD unit at their larger site. (My son goes to the smaller site, which is local to us). He works to a differentiated curriculum, does not do languages, does other activities to support social development. They run a lunchtime club that he attends, he has a very close working relation with the senco, who I must say does a very good job of foreseeing problems. (When they went to the pantomime at Christmas she arranged for him to sit in an aisle seat with his form teacher next to him.) For most lessons he is in what they call a nurture group, 10 pupils with TA support. some work is done in smaller groups. The support he now gets goes beyond what is provided for in his statement. (The school with the support of the EP has made yet another attempt to amend his statement to reflect the support he actually gets). Our son was recently moved up to group 2 for maths and science, this mean that they had to put TA support into these lessons which would not normally be there. The school guarantees a 6th form place to all its pupils, tailoring a course to suit their abilities. This is a large, well funded academy, over 2 sites, the avenger class size for the whole school is 20. As has been stated before on this site it does worry me that much of the support my son now gets is down the the school and the staff. If at some time in the future there was a change of staff or the funding arrangement to the school as a whole, this could change. Our LA refuses to accept that there is a need for special provision for academically able ASD children, even to go to the extent of blocking parent attempts to set up a special free school to cater for this group. (unlike other free school, special free school need LA approval before they get funding from the government) The latest modal being adopted by our AL for ASD units attached to mainstream school is that they will be fully integrated into the whole school and not be "stand alone" units, whatever that means. We pondered long and hard about secondary school, in the end we went for our local school, our site is less than a 10 minuet walk away. Its working out OK at the moment but who knows what the future will bring.

I find that if I'm having trouble grasping something I will read it out loud. I will also talk though things out loud. Drives my wife mad as she needs total silence when ever she is doing anything.

I could tell you a thing or two about head lice, One job I was in, the first thing I did each day on getting home each day was get the nit comb out. I know all about the life cycle of a head lice and all the different ways of tackling them. When you have looked after children so infested you can see the little blighters marching along the hairs on there heads from 20 paces, finding one or two on you own head is not that worrying. I used the comb and conditioner approach to dealing with them on my self.

The toileting needs of children at school are covered by the disability discrimination act. The school must provide whatever help a child needs. If this means employing someone to do this task then that is what they have to do. It is not necessary to have this covered in a statement for this help to be provided, but it cant do any harm if it is. My own son was perfectly OK at preschool but when he went up to primary, it all went wrong, this was before the the disability act had come into force. But even then the school recognised his need, and to some degree catered for it, regularly during the day taking him to the toilet, the staff toilet, he could not cope with the noise etc of the pupils toilet. He always had a spare set of cloths with him at school in case they were needed. As far as what to put in the parent contribution to statement, just state things as they are, what help he needs in school.

I remember a time when doctors could write prescriptions for almost anything. When this was stopped, there were outcry from those who had benefited. As the pressure on the public purse continues to grow it is likely GP will be under renewed pressure to reduce prescription cost. This is most likely to hit non drug items first, things that can be brought over the counter. I don't know enough about GF food or the need for them to make any judgment, but I dare say there are some that would find it surprising that they are available on prescription at all. I was recently prescribed a product by me GP that has the potential of improving the quality of my life. Unfortunately (for me) it is only available on private prescription, the cost being outside of what I would be able to afford on an ongoing basis I decided to do without. Free NHS prescription are available to children, pensioners and those on low income. (In receipt of certain benefits or holder of an exemption card.) These are also entitled to free dental treatment, free eye test and a voucher toward the cost of glasses. This is unlikely to change. When it come to things like DLA, it is likely that the level of benefit, and there structure, will be tweaked to reduce cost, and the eligibility criteria will be adjusted to reduce the number of those entitled. PS. You don't stop having a medical condition (Gluten intolerance) because you cant get GF food on the NHS.

Some deep thinking going on here. Just for the record, I am perfectly happy with my life the way it is. Don't want anyone thinking there's anything wrong with my marriage because from where I stand, if fine. (At least that's what her indoors tells me )

I was a bit unfairer on my wife with my previous comments. We always discus thing and listen to each others point of view. Then she tells me what to do. (Don tell her I said this, but the secret is to let her think it was her idea to start with and not yours) We were both a bit long in the tooth when we marred, for my wife her second marriage, we were both fairly set in our ways so it took a bit of getting use to, being part of a couple. And I must admit that in some respects we live as two single people sharing the same house. We do spend most of our free time together. But we also have separate finances, I know a lot of people find it surprising that we don't have a joint bank account. We get along alright most of the time, as I said, I just do what I'm told and everything is rosy (Most of the time). On a more serious point, my wife had some real tragedy in her early life which she has been unable to share with anyone, not even her parents. Because of the direction we came from, to be together, she was able to share that with me and it has formed a real bond be tween us. When I hear people moaning about their lives, I just think to myself, they don't know how lucky they are.

Life is nothing like it is on is telly. Us men, if we don't do anything for valentines there's all hell to pay, if we do, well its just whats expected. Don't expect anything in return, that's not the way it works. I just do what my wife tells me, even then its sometime wrong.

I got twin swing Adult size, the crossbar is about 8 ft high. it was around £200. it was self assembly. There are a number of companies that can supply such a product. They do have an upper wight limit on them usually of 50KG. At work there is one which adult much heavier than this use, the only difference to the one I have is that it has chains instead of rope.

I go an adult size swing, found the company on line. don't know now the company name. I just googled adult swing, but be warned including them two words and well Ill leave it to your imagination..

SS are hardly likely to stop you moving out of there area, one less person on their books. So what your looking for is some sort of supported housing. It a while since I worked for a council, but back then if you were from outside the council area you stood no chance of getting anything from the council. A requirement was that you were a resident in the area before anything was forthcoming. Can you not just move to a different area within the same council. Like all places Bristol has good and bad places to live, should hear what me wife has to say about where her ex in-laws lived in Bristol. The last place on earth you would want to live by what she says.