zenemu

I think on those grounds alone I would refuse to go to the appointment, but that is just me Zen

Hi Mumble, I have long since given up trying to fit in. Many years ago, I did my best to fit in, and to learn social norms. I went out of my way to put myself into situations which most people would find difficult to deal with, let alone someone with AS; things like performing, public speaking and kareoke (I am tone deaf and find singing very embaressing). I also went out a lot and did my best to socialize. I found that alothough I was (with a great deal of difficulty) able to cope, I was exhasuted by it, and spent to much time analyzing what I had said or where I went wrong. I found it difficult to keep friends and extremely difficult to form meaningful relationships. Here is the thing; as I have gotten older, I have come to understand that it doesn't really matter as much as I once thought. I am who I am, and I am slowly moving on from really caring what other people think, and if they see me as normal or not. They can accept me how they find me. I find I can use my AS in creative ways for my own benefit without worrying so much about what people think. That is not to say that I don't try to fit in at all. I do monitor what I say in social situations still, but not in the same ways as I used to. I am careful not to go back to the same subjects over and over again and I try not to talk about the same thing for long periods of time. I do drift off with my own thoughts for long periods of time still, but I again I try not to do this so much in polite company. I do these things to enable me to function in social situations, not because I feel the need to fit in. I don't walk around telling everyone I meet that I have AS, but if I am likely to form a long term association with people and will be spending a lot of time with them, I do mention it, because it is easier for them to know, rather than for me to keep up the exhausting and often unsucessful excercise of practicing "social norms". It often also helps that if they know, they are less likely to be offended by something I have failed to pick up on or some other social faux pas. Zen

I know this isn't a lot of use now, but it should be said anyway. Web based email shouldn't be used as your main email account. Googlemain, Yahoo and especially HotMail are all very very easy to hack, and these services themselves are often subject to various types of attack, which is where a lot of the spam comes from. It is often kindof a bragging rights thing with various crackers to see who can cause as much disruption as possible to these services. This is where your spam is coming from. Hotmail for example is based across 1000+ servers and if you haven't had this happen before, it is purely pot luck as to which server your account is based on. These services suffer from dozens of successful attacks every year. I will also add that hotmail particularly has an open telnet exploit which has never been closed (after nearly 15 years) and it allows a cracker to en masses fake emails from any users account to any other users account, and various worm viruses take advantage of this vulnerability. These kinds of services are fine for unimportant stuff, newsletters ect, but NEVER keep anything sensitive on these servers. You can't guarantee that your infromation is safe, and these companies certainly don't make any ironclad promises in that reguard. Zen

Yes, I am aware that DLA has nothing to do with the ability to work, and I didn't mean to imply that it did, I just don't feel I need it personally as Aspergers doesn't really have any financial inpact on life in my case. I know that in many cases it does have a significant impact and in these cases of course DLA is suitable, but not always. That was the point I was trying to get across, I apologise if it came across any other way. Actually at Judiciary level this part of the test is often interpreted as something as simple as making some toast and putting some beans in the microwave; unfair I know, but this is considered an acceptable meal, but that is actually the unofficial training policy for the medical and disabled DLA entititlement Judiciary appeals board during the enrollment training. My point was that the DLA application process and the criteria for getting DLA are often poorly adapted to people with ASD, Learning Disabilites and Mental Health problems. Zen

I admit, I used to do this too, especially when meeting new people or large family occasions or parties ect. Basically all the social stuff that I find stressful, and with a few beers, well lets face it, it is self medication for Aspies isn't it? It does tend to break some cracks in the social barriers. The only reason I don't do it these days is because I gave up smoking a little over a year ago (and god do I miss it), and I know if I drink I will desperately want to smoke. Zen

I have AS and my ex-partner was an alcoholic. I like the occasional drink, but to be honest I can take it or leave it, but at the time she was drinking a bottle of spirits every day at least. The relationship quickly went down hill. We were together for nearly two years. I have found with most alcoholics, they are fine with a few drinks, until that one drink - the drink that tips the scales, and then you simply aren't talking to the same person anymore. When she got to that point she became a pretty unpleasant person to be around and treated me very badly, and I must admit that having AS didn't help me cope with that very well. I ended the relationship when one day, she became quite violent. I felt quite out of my depth and that also I was poorly equipped to help someone whose life was so out of control, especially as I didn't (again Aspie related I am sure) understand the reasons behind it or what it was she got out of being intoxicated all the time.I wanted to help, but simply wasn't capable of it and didn't know how. Added to that it was emotionally unsettling and incredibly draining for me and it got to the point where I was pretty upset by the whole business. So I decided to move on. A healthy decision for all concerned I think. That was an awfully long time ago now - nearly 10 years, and she is much better these days (not drinking as much so I hear at any rate) and is in a serious relationship and is now six months pregnant. I am really happy for her. That relationship taught me an awful lot about life though, and although it was stressful and painful, I wouldn't change it. All part of the rich tapestry of life I suppose. As for me, I am in a fantastic relationship and have been for over seven years. I couldn't be happier. Zen

I am not sure I would worry about an adverse decision. You seem to know what you are doing. Take some notes with you like you did for the GP and just try to relax. If it turns out that the psychiatrist disagrees, then that is just his / her opinion. You can always ask for a second opinion. Zen

I must admit to spoiling my ballet paper for the past few elections. All the parties have policies I disagree with. I don't think that this year will beany different. Zen

Hi Ang, It is a difficult question because Aspergers in particular tends to be quite unique to the individual. For example I am an adult with Aspergers and I managed to make it through further education and came away with a degree. I will admit it wasn't easy, but then nothing worth while tends to be in my experience. Equally I am not on DLA either, mainly because I have never felt that I need it. I am capable of working and looking after myself, so my condition doesn't in general cost me anything more financially. I know in some cases that Aspergers can be so severe that it does inpact on the ability to work ect. My partner, coincidentally, works a couple of days a week on the DLA Judiciary Appeals panel, and as such, I know that one of the main stumbling blocks with Aspergers when claiming DLA is that most Apsies wouldn't fail the cooking test (obviously the walking test isn't an issue for the most part). I have read through some of the rules for these panels, and to be perfectly honest, it is exceptionally difficult as things stand for anyone who is high functioning AS / ASD to pass through the DLA process. A large part of the DLA claim is based on medical recommendations and records, so it is important to have substantial involvement with the GP and specialists to get them onside. Zen

Hi Tally, When you say the screen flickers, do you mean the screen goes off completely or the backlight flickers? A laptop screen has a small ribbon cable that usually runs through one of the hinges. These ribbon cables occasionally get stressed or damaged if the screen has been opened too far or sometimes just because of everyday use. If you are comfortable opening up your laptop, you can check that this cable is attached to the main board properly. If it is the cable, then the easiest fix is to replace the screen, which is a five minute job with a screwdriver. Although you will need to open the back of the original screen to out exactly which panel you need for that board, there is usually a lable on the back of the lcd panel with a serial number and manufacturer. Replacing the screen is a lot cheaper than replacing the laptop. Zen

It certainly sounds like she shows a lot of AS traits. I suspect a diagnosis before secondary school and a meeting with the teachers at the new school will be very helpful for her. Secondary school can be a bit of a trail for most kids I think, but adding ASD or AS into the equation makes things a lot more complicated. Having as much background support as possible is going to be very important to make school life as easy as possible for her. Good luck with the assessment. Zen

Hi Sam

Sorry, that cracked me up! HEHEHE This forum needs a rep system Zen

Sadly, I wouldn't count on seeing Captain Jack in Doctor Who again. Steven Moffat has made it pretty clear that this is a fresh start for The Doctor and he won't be bringing back any of the old cast. Add that to the fact that John Barrowman is appearing in the states in Desperate Housewives, and I think it is pretty conclusive. Its a shame really. There are no future plans for Torchwood yet either. Zen

I thought Matt Smith did an excellent job. It was a good start to the new series and I think it was a very good introduction for a new Doctor. Zen

Hello Donna Zen

Sorry to hear that. Have you contacted the school?

I wouldn't say it is a business, sure you can buy some of the songs used in one or two of the videos, and the "Webinars" are require a donation to attend and half goes to a autism chairity and the other half goes towards Taylors college fund. Given how much further education costs in the states, that seems like a reasonable goal to me. As a long time blogger myself, I can honestly say that most blogs try to make a small income these days. If you watch some of the video's Taylor actually explains how she has struggled with communication and how she and her mother approached and tackled those problems. Yes, she isn't exactly an introvert, but she still makes some interesting points and it is lways interesting to hear the perspective of someone else with ASD / Aspergers and they way they are affected and how they cope with it. Zen

I'm not sure if this has been posted before, I did a quick search and couldn't find it, so I thought I would drop in a link. Taylor Morris is a teenage girl who has Aspergers Syndrome and has decided to do a video blog about it with the help of her mother. It is a very interesting watch for people with ASD and for parents too. Have a look: http://www.meettaylormorris.com/ Zen

Hi Marc

Good luck with the assessment

For a lot of people, but especially with ASD, being in a bit of a rut can be a miserable experience and very stressful, but not as stressful as the prospect of change. I think sometimes it takes quite a lot of courage to make the decision to change your life and a lot more to stick to that conviction. I think the child care course is a fantstic thing and if you can manage to see it through, I'm sure it is something that you won't regret. Good Luck Zen

Yeah, I can be like that. My partner gently nags me about things I need to be doing quite often. Yes it has, does and will cause arguements, but we both know that it is the only way to keep my attention on some things long enough to get it done and once she reminds me of that, I feel stupid and calm down pretty quickly:) It sounds like you need to do the same. It is entirely thanks to her, and the nagging that I now run my own business doing something I am interested in and very well suited to, and I made nearly £80k last year and nearly twice that this year before tax. That isn't bad really for something I only do a few days every week. If I can do it, I would say most people can Setting up a business was quite easy really too. I just made lists of things I needed to do that day, ticked them off one by one and rewarded myself with a few hours playing a video game and some cake (I like cake)! The truth is I have never enjoyed work more. It is nice to know that I am not answerable to anyone, I know exactly what needs to be done and how to do it, and I have the option not to go if I really don't want to, but the money is a very good motivator. Zen

Ok, so I have read all of Dan Browns books and it occured to me the other day that the main character, Robert Langdon has some form of ASD. If you have read the books, you will notice that whenever there is a catastrophe on the way (Huge Bomb going to go off in a couple of hours or a friend of his being held hostage with his hand being cut off - The Lost symbol), he still has time to give the people around him a long lesson on the architecture of this building or an indepth (and frankly irrelevant) history on this group of people on that symbol. Aside from wanting to talk indepth about subjects that he is interested in, he also gets up at 5:30 every morning for a swim, and has a very fixed routine, and he wears a Micky Mouse watch to which is a possession he has beome extremely attached to. Peronsally I quite like the Robert Langdon character, I can relate to him. and can relate to that kind of thing. I wonder if that is just a product of Dan Brown's writing style or whether it is intentional? Zen

Hi Billie, Out of everything you said in your post, I found the above to be the most concerning. Does your local practice have several GP's? and if so can you arrange to see a different Doctor? The attitude of your doctor strikes me as a little counter productive to say the least. Can I suggest you write to your local surgery (prefferably to a different Doctor), explaining your concerns and symptoms. Explain that a written statement is easier for you than talking one to one with a GP. Ask for an appointment to come in so that you can discuss soley this issue and if you can arrange for an advocate (family member or friend - someone you are comfortable talking to) to come with you. Discuss with whoever you choose to take with you the issues and points that you want to get across. It can be incredibly difficult to get these points across (I know how you feel, I hate going to doctor and I do get a bit flustered and tongue tied myself with them sometimes). Bottom line though, this is quite important, and it is essential that you take as many steps as you can to make the whole thing as comfortable for yourself as possible. Communication is the key here. Good luck. Zen