Mum of 3

Hi Skye, Just found this topic! G has also been DX with ASD today...yes, it was the same team. You've just explained what's been puzzling me all day, which is why he skirted around the issue of AS when I asked about this-they all looked at each other and sort of giggled, and he said they'd spent rather a long time talking about ASD/AS, but they were sticking with ASD. We've been doing this for a year now too. I keep wondering what's changed today??? What have I been waiting for?

<'> Thanks for your kind words. Well, the diagnosis is ASD. I asked if they were thinking AS, and they said they'd talked along time about that, but are sticking with ASD, as that encompasses AS anyway. Have spent the day in a daze, even though this is the best outcome in terms of support, etc, and it was expected. Unfortunately had a bit of a tantrum myself once the children were in bed....and I wonder where G gets it from?...

Me too.

Hi Rag 31, I can really relate to your post...I've spent too many nights awake in hotels, trying to calm a screaming child. And then facing the hard stares at breakfast the next morning We used to go 'down south' quite alot to visit DH's family, but always stayed in hotels, so we had lots of this. My advice would be: 1. Try travelling late at night, so he falls asleep in the car. Your OH can then get a cot/bed ready in the hotel, or forewarn your friends/family to get the bed ready so he can just be quietly transferred into it when you arrive, and hopefully stay asleep (this went really well for us one time until the B*%$£&&**** hotel receptionist decided to wake him up with the loudest booming voice ever! After that, DH went in in advance of me, with explicit instructions to keep quiet and, preferably, dim the lights!). Remember to try to warm the bed before you put him in it ( or lay him in wrapped in a blanket that's been round him for a while). The shock of a cold bed can wake up sleeping children. 2. It sounds obvious, but it really helps to have familiar things around. We go further than a teddy and take all the bedding-including quilt and pillow. Also, I take the bed linen 'dirty' (i.e. straight off the bed, rather than changing it for clean stuff), so it smells of home. 3. Try all you can to ensure your LO is calm, cozy and snuggled if trying to settle him in a strange bed. You may have to be prepared to lie in bed with him for the first couple of nights as he falls asleep, then transfer him to his own bed once he's dropped off. a warm hot-water-bottle also helps with encouraging 'sleepy' feelings. 4. Remember that children often pick up on (and live up to!) our anxieties and doubts, so if you're worried about this, he coud become worried also. If you go away expecting trouble, you'll probably get it, but if you put lots of strategies in place, and go with the idea that you'll go with the flow, and spend time comforting him at night if needs be, then you could find it works out ok. Finally, the only way to get him over any anxieties about sleeping away from home is to do it! Start off small, just one night, and build up. The more you do it, and support him in it, the better it will be!

Thanks BD. Yes, I have been thinking that it might be necessary to only allow him so much 'air time' to voice this obsession, then change the subject/try some sort of distraction (if possible!) I agree also about the 'changes', the biggest one, of course, being the new school year and new teacher. I think he's also aware that I'm giving up work, and although we've played it down, it's still a change, and he might be wondering about how it will affect him.... Now, how do I convince my mum that telling him that his wooden pirate ship has been sprayed with a special stuff so it can never set on fire is probably not the best of ideas?....

Despite offering the above resources, I have to say that my initial reaction was similar to Sarina's-that it isn't necessary to write everything down...discussion is just as valid, and can ellicit a fuller response, as the child isn't also having to consider the mechanics of writing. There is, however, alot to be said for encouraging your son to write whenever he can, for real purposes if possible, so he sees a reason for it. Writing little and often will give him the practice he needs to make it a 'natural' thing to write. Whereas I agree that children should be allowed to use a keyboard if they struggle with handwriting, I also know that, in our society, being able to write is still seen as an important skill, and I feel that if our children struggle to handwrite, and this is not addressed as children, they will be at a disadvantage as adults. Home Education can take any form you like....that's the great benefit, that you 'go with the flow', and allow the child to set the pace, with the learning coming in alongside the enjoyment of interests. Having said which, I think it's important to ensure you've got a few tricks up your sleeve, and that you know what sorts of things other children are learning in schools and some strategies for teaching them in interesting ways, so that when the opportunities to earn present themselves you don't miss out due to not knowing what to do or how to do it. So, if your son enjoys reading, or being read to, and you have knowledge of the Assessment focussses (foci?), then you're better placed to support him.You'll also be able to push his learning on by asking some more challenging questions, which will also give him experience of higher order thinking, which he might not use if left to his own devices. I think it's important to remember that, although Home Education doesn't have to be 'school at home', we have a responsibility to ensure that our children grow up able and ready to take their place in society, whatever that may be. A little bit of challenge and push never did anyone any harm, and the rise in the self-esteem of a child who is challenged, and rises to that challenge is a great thing to observe.

Hi all, Just thought I'd let everyone know we've got the meeting this Wednesday morning. Had 2 very illuminating meetings last week. Ed Psych came to our house & spent some time with G, then with me. She said she's 'utterly convinced' he's on the spectrum, having seen him at school and home, and spoken to his teacher. The Clinical Psych had seen him in his offfice (G had major tantrum-slamming doors, hitting me, etc. Nice!), then came to our house (G-"Oh, Hia...Would you like to come and look at my bedroom? I've got loads of things that begin with 'P'" ). CP said then that it "Puzzles the Hell out of me", and he was "completely stumped" about G. Since then, he's read my copious diary of events, kept over a year since we started on this path, and we had another phone call last week, where I told him what they Ed Psych had said, and we talked through his ideas. By the end of this, he was thinking that we'd be looking at a Dx of autism, probably AS. I know I'm really lucky to have a team that I can discuss things with, and feel fully included in the process, with my opinions saught and recognised as valid. I can't help being a little dismayed by some of the posts I've read here, where others have not had such positive experiences, and I'm just gearing mysel up for things to go pear-shaped at the meeting! One of the questions I asked the Ed Psych, and she seemed really confused, as if she hadn't considered this before, was 'what happens if you decide he isn't autistic?' This was when she told me how convinced she is, but really, the answer seems to be....'er...nothing!', which is really scary, I mean, we wouldn't be here if we didn't want help, but if it's not the 'Big A', we just get sent home to manage!!!! I'm not looking for a label, or anything, but I want some answers, and if it's not autism, it's definately something, so I just hope they get it right! Wish me strength and good luck Oh, yes, and I've given up work to look after the critters, and it's my last day on Wednesday....Felt a bit funny asking for a day's leave on my last day The boss was like 'Oh, go on then.... '.

Hi, I wonder if anyone can help me with G's latest obsession. About 2 years ago, he was playing in the basement, with his dad, when his dad noticed smoke coming out of the tumble drier. His dad turned off the tumble drier, opened all the windows, then we called the fire brigade, who removed the td, installed new smoke alarms, and talked us through a fire safety plan.G was very worried at the time, but I had a word with the fire officer, and he was really reassuring, and told G it was ok, they are only 5 minutes away, and mum & dad know what to do if t happens again. He has been a bit concerned since, but nothing OTT. Then, a few weeks ago, he had a tantrum in his room, and threw his lamp, which went out, and hit the Fast Forward button on his tape player. He didn't realise about the tape player, but came rushing downstars saying he'd started a fire by throwing the lamp! I'm well used to his histrionics, and so I didn't over-react, but calmly said I'd go and see. He was screaming with panic, asking what I'd do with the fire, but I just said 'well, put it out, of course', trying not to panic him. Of course, I was able to show him the tape player and the lamp was ok, but i did warn him that throwing electric things that are plugged in is a bad idea, and yes, it COULD start a fire! Well, now, he's going on about it constantly....'Can trees set on fire?....do cars set on fire?...do beds set on fire?'...he seems unable to understand that fires need starting, so we told him all the ways of starting a fire....he then went to investigate the kitchen floor because it looks like wood, and the chairs are wood, so when we scrape the chair legs on the wood floor we'll start a fire! I showed him a match, and explained how it works, and the red stuff on the end made the fire....he then emptied his room of all red things and asked me to give them to charity in case they set on fire! He goes on and on with the questions, often wringing his hands and whining as well. He cries about it and says he's so worried about fires that he can't get it out of his head. Is it any use trying to convince him, or am I just adding fuel to the fire (sorry, couldn't resist it! ) by engaging in the discussion? Why doesn't he ever just put his faith in me to protect him? Edited to add: G is nearly 6. Dx meeting this Wednesday. Ed psych 'utterly convinced' it's autism/AS...Clinical Psych was 'stumped', now 'pretty sure it's the only explanation'.

<'> Please don't feel bad about this. He'll have a lovely time, and it will be so good for his independence and self-esteem. Just enjoy the peace and quiet, and look forward to him coming home the next day. <'> How about a 'welcome home' cake or his fave tea to mark the event?

Hi Karen, I would start by sticking to subjects about which he has very strong views, then ask him to exlain these views...maybe by playing 'devil's advocate', and challenging his ideas so he has to convince you. Funnily enough, I was planning a guided reading staff training session today, and using these. They are for teachers, so may have a bit of jargon, but they have some really good ideas that you could adapt. Strategies to develop comprehension during guided reading http://www.lancsngfl.ac.uk/nationalstrateg...edReading11.pdf Assessment focus question keys http://www.lancsngfl.ac.uk/nationalstrateg...category_id=108 With the question keys, click on each assessment focus....these are what you're saying have changed from your school days when you did 'comprehension'. The Assessment foci simply categorise each type of question, so the child can be taught specifically how to answer each type. Hope this helps

Ha Ha Ha You've given me a right trip down memory lane reading that article about ties... I used to wear mine 'skinny', and long, right down the front of my shirt, which I thought just looked so COOL!!! G is obsessive about his 'nooniform', and has to wear the lot, including vest and sweatshirt, all day, every day, no matter how hot the weather!...won't do non-uniform day, and even wore it couple of times during the holidays, just for good measure!

Hi Bettyhen, you could be describing my little boy there, but he doesn't do anything naughty at school-in fact he's 'gooder than gold', as he says The Ed Psych says she's never seen such a marked difference between home/school behaviour, and is really intrigued about why. All we can come up with is that he's obsessed with 'the law', and not breaking it (rules at home don't count-I'm not a police woman!). I'm thinking that, as your DS only did the hitting/kicking for (I presume) the first 6 weeks last year, he probably won't start again, as he had 2 and a half terms of not doing it after the half a term of doing it. Also, it might be a good thing that he's staying in the same class for another year...He won't be the only one from his Y1 group, and he will still have the same teacher, room, routines, etc, which will be far more comforting for him than starting in a new class, albeit with the same children. Hopefully he's had a good week, and all is well. Let us know how he got on! <'>

Sa, I'm so glad that you're feeling so positive and that you really seem to be sorting out lots of issues at the moment...Going with your heart regarding your education nd career is bound to make you happier than trying to do what others think is 'best'. As for your love life, I would say relax and give it time...as you learn more and more about yourself, you will develop more confidence in yourself, and then one day, I'm sure, everything will fall into place and the right person will come along. Meanwhile, it sounds as if you've got plenty to keep you happy in your life! Good for you

So glad it's going well. Long may it continue!

Wow, Sa...I'm really impressed.... I just thought it was a nice bit of Celtic patterning with the rainbow spectrum of colours on it. The only detail I noticed was that I was pleased it was exactly the same length as the words underneath...I'm into neatness!

Hi, I applied a few months ago, without a diagnosis, and we were awarded middle rate care straight away. I have not gone to appeal for mobility, as G is rarely that bad walking around, and he's only 5, so he would need alot of watching anyway. If he's still as yonderly in 3 years when we re-apply, I'll definately be asking for mobility as well! I used the guidelines from cerebra to help me fill in the form, which are very thorough. I printed off the booklet and had it with me as I worked through the form. I also made appointments to talk to my GP and school about it, so they knew what I was applying for and why, and would be able to back me up when they were asked for their opinion. I hope this link works...it should send you to the Cerebra guide! http://www.cerebra.org.uk/parent_support/DLA_guide.htm Good Luck.

Sa, it may be that you are gifted and have AS, and I think it's fantastic that you're feeling so positive about your diagnosis, but if the AS in itself were a gift, would you have had such a hard time at school? Certainly, for me, looking at my beautiful boy suffering daily with things that other children take for granted, and hearing others' experiences, which warn me that the worst may still be to come, I cannot say that he has been handed a 'gift'. We have all (our family, I mean) been handed a challenge and a whole heap of difficulties! Like many others, I can't separate G's (possible!) ASD from his personality, and things might be very different had he not been born with my love of the drama, my father's temper, or his father's ocd, etc...but we'll never know, and we all live with the hand we were dealt. Considering we're all here (on the forum) because of AS and, I suspect, most of us were drawn here because of the difficulties we faced (or still face) as a result, I can hardly see that it can be classed a 'gift'.

Matzoball, I'm really feeling for you on this one. Your 'friend' is behaving like anything but. I don't have any advice that hasn't already been given, but I think you should concentrate on yourself for a while, as you are probably stilll coming to terms with your dx. You need to make sure that you are with postive, friendly people who will give you support, not difficulties. <'>

G also has big problems with going out. I've found that if he has too much warning (eg I tell him at breakfast time that 'today we'll be going to Grandma's', but I need to do jobs first,), he'll get really difficult as he waits to go. He can't standthe anticipation, so I've found it's beter to not do a 'visual timetable', since he just gets frustrated with te 'must do' things as he only wants to do the fun things. I try to just 'potter' about until I'm ready to go, then tell him to get his shoes, quickly...I might have to coincide this with the end of a dvd, or a change in the game, but I find it much easier to keep him in the dark about our plans until the point of no return!

water

<'> Have a great timewith the whales & dolphins. Hope all goes well when you get back. <'> <'>

Iwould have thought that picking at them would just spread them arund even more

so long as it's a gentle moisturiser (try one specially formulated for people with excema), it should be ok. I put moisturiser all over my face and eyelids twice a day and have no adverse effects! (slightly puffy eyes some mornings if the cream's too rich! )

Keep looking Tally...the right place will come along, and you'll know straight away. When I was house hunting, I fell in love with an old lady's house. It hadn't been changed since she got married in the 40's, and it still had a lovely old pantry with stone shelves...but my 'darling' H wouldn't even come and look at it! I love house hunting...keep us informed of all the horrors you look at, and I'm looking forward to when you find the one for you!

Marikyn, I know ust what you're going through as I 'm doing exactly the same thing. If it's there, I'll eat it and I can't stop until it's all gone. I aso get panicky if stocks are running low, and go out and buy in bulk so that my cpboards and fridge is full. Ive noticed that you're going through assessment at the moment...so is my son, and I can think of little else. I think the assessment and all the worry is what's made me turn to food, but i do worry that i won't be able to stop. Sorry I can't be more helpful, but hope it helps to know you're not alone. <'>