Sally44

No I don't have anymore information about it. I just found this website very useful. From what I have read about it it can be a separate diagnosis. When discussing some of my sons difficulties with professionals I did question about EFD, and was told that many of the 'symptoms' of EFD are common amongst other disorders. But the thing is that those with ASDs, for example, don't all have problems with executive functions. But there are a few skills in that list that I know my son struggles with, especially time. Yet other children with an ASD may have a very good, and even rigid understanding of time. But I just thought it was very interesting, and certainly made some aspects of my sons difficulties easier to understand. I don't believe EFD has to have involved some kind of brain trauma, although that maybe a possibility. But my understanding is that EFD is developmental. This site says that the only way to 'test' executive functions is through functional testing of the various skills. I also think that problems with executive functions are probably going to show themselves more as the child gets older because they involve higher skill levels. There also seems to be alot of cross over of symptoms of EFD and other disorders, but that seems relatively common with alot of disorders. I just thought I'd put it out there for information and discussion purposes.

Speak with the person who mentioned 1-2-3 magic to you. In a support group I go to, one of the parents (under a different LEA to mine) went to a training day about this. I don't know if it was run by an LEA professional or whether it was organised by outside agencies. I have heard good things about this system, but haven't used it.

You should be very proud of your son, because he has been as brave as a soldier going to war. When they tell us that that is how it is for them - and they do tell us in words and behaviour - then that is the truth for them. And unfortunately that is what it is like for many children in mainstream schooling. The physical, psychological and mental effort they have to use just to get through the day is not to be under estimated. (And my son could also take exams on 'how to be invisible'). I wonder sometimes. How many children have CAHMS (or other professionals) involved and who have problems in school (or at home because of school). Yet the focus seems to be on the child, and not on the school environment. (That is a generalisation - so please don't post about that comment - I am now in rant mode). But too often I feel like everyone's focus is on the child and inappropriate behaviour. Well maybe their behaviour is appropriate because of the inappropriate placement?? Whilst going through the Statement process for my son I really tried to find out the difference and benefits of both mainstream and ASD only educational provisons. I posted on AS and ASD forums for the perspective of adults with a diagnosis asking them how their time at school was. Everyone said it was hell. I didn't get one positive account of a mainstream environment. Most said they wished they had been homeschooled. Some said it had made them more resilient as adults, but that the process had been very painful and something they endured, but gained nothing from. My son is still at junior school age and is in a mixed mainstream and ASD environment. Secondary age I will have to make some decisions about. At the moment my LEA does not have any kind of educational environment that I would want to send my son to at secondary age. I have my own personal opinions about 'inclusion' which I know not every parent shares. I don't think those with ASDs are included at all. Even in a mixed mainstream environment there is no meeting of the two perspectives (ASD and NT) either in or out of school. My son does not have mainstream friends or attend mainstream groups/clubs or activities. So why am I forced into a system that pretends that he is part of all that. During breaktime, if my son is not supported, he will spend it walking up and down the fencing repeating Scooby Doo dialogue to himself. Is that what he wants to do. NO. If you ask him what he would want to do, he might want to make a lego model. He would never say 'I want to walk up and down for 20 minutes repeating a DVD. He does that because he doesn't know what else to do in that situation. My opinion is either (a) teach and support him so he can interact, or ( don't turn him out onto the playground. And how is my son supposed to be benefitting from mainstream peers who bully or ignore or avoid him. He cannot 'learn' from interacting with them. If he could he wouldn't be autistic. It seems to me that mainstream pupils are just a constant remainder to him of his differences and failures. And not only can he not do what they do. But he isn't interested in what they do. And he knows he is different and in someway interprets that as it is his fault or that he is in someway 'bad'. But inclusion is the current educational trend. Yet there is no evidence anywhere that it is of any benefit to our children. If there is some out there, please post it so I can read it. And, as a parent, I would have loved for it to be possible for my son to be mainstream and for him to love the environment and benefit from it. But I feel that is a impossible goal and a lie that deceives the parents and squashes the self identify and self esteem of our children. So where do we draw the line. Where do we say, okay our children need to learn these skills so lets teach them how to do this task (eventhough it might be rote learnt and never a natural thought process). And where do we say our children will always have difficulties with things like X, Y and Z and therefore they should not be put through those processes or made to endure those environments. Why do we try to force them into situations, and in some cases support them in those situations, when they would never choose to go through them. It is like someone saying to me that they are going to support me to take on a role of public speaking. I cannot do it, I don't enjoy it, and given a choice I would choose something (anything!) else. So why support me in that. Support me in something I enjoy or which is going to be useful to me. When my son leaves school I do not imagine he will be spending his weekends in the pub chatting up girls and going to night clubs. So why don't we stop the pretence, and instead teach them how to build a social network (and life) that actually works for them. School is supposed to be teaching our kids something. I get the impression that my son will leave school and say 'thank God that is over, now for something I like ...'. So what was the point of all those years of trying to conform and just not making it or just not getting it?? I'm sure you must have felt like you'd been thumped in the stomach when he told you that. We try so hard to do the right thing and to protect them and help them integrate etc. But honestly, what other options did you have? What else are we being offered? There are girls/boy/faith only schools. Why not ASD only schools for those children where the intention is to aim for independent living and work. Why do ASD only schools have to be for 'problems'. I have been told that college/university is very different as people are more able to be individuals rather than having to fit in with the school system. I really don't understand why children with ASDs have to sit through daily assemblies in school (which cause alot of them difficulties), when they never have to go through that kind of environment again once they have left school. What was the point of putting them through that. Or school canteens, as an adult you can choose where you eat your dinner, why can't our kids. I have looked around private schools for those with ASDs (out of my price range - but I like to window shop!). And these schools don't have those kinds of things. No assembly! No whole school playtimes! No, they prepare them for adult independent life. They teach them skills so that they can interact socially if and when they want/need to. I would talk with your son about what he wants to do with his life and what interests him and see what is out there. Those on the spectrum actually like to learn things in their areas of interest. It might also be useful for him to find a support group of other people with his diagnosis and of his age group. And I'm sure all of us are now thinking about the return to school on Monday.

I've not had this problem to that extent, so I'm just shooting in the dark here. Firstly, it is far easier to have any kind of structure for what happens with behaviour when you are at home. Out on the streets and in shops is something else!! I've had occasions when I've been standing in a queue whilst my son is writhing on the floor because the name of the food item he wants in the cafe has been changed on the menu!! I apologise, if i'm going over any stuff you have already done. But when you are going out do you talk about it before hand and use some kind of visual sequence of what will happen (if you think that would be helpful). With my son he also has alot of sensory issues, and going out of the house used to be a real problem. But I started using dark sunglasses (now my son has Irlen lenses), cap or hoodie, DIY ear defenders (which have now progressed to CD player), and something small to hold onto in his pocket or some small toy. That really worked wonders in my case because it reduced all the incoming sensory information and I think alot of my son's anxiety was about that. If he starts inappropriate behaviour at home I try to nip it as soon as I see it starting and tell him to go upstairs to his room to calm down. So his bedroom isn't a punishment area, it is a place he goes to calm down and to try to stop both him and I escalating the situation. And it is so easy to escalate it, because they go (from an emotional point of view) from zero to a hundred in a matter of seconds, causing us to feel we have to 'intervene' against this inappropriate behaviour. So I try not to be sucked into the cycle, and just tell him to go upstairs. Doesn't always work. Usually he is going upstairs shouting abuse or saying how rubbish I am or the family is etc. Can you also talk with your son about these episodes afterwards, and I mean a while afterwards when he is totally calm again? Sometimes working on this area can take a very long time (ie. years), but if your child is able to have simple conversations about what happened and how either he or you can make things easier next time, then slowly some changes can be made, and the child can become more aware of his behaviour. This isn't always possible whilst it is happening because that is just a totally overwhelming out of control feeling for them. And I don't have the answers to whether it is about being autistic or being naughty. Infact Donna Williams (autistic adult), herself termed the phrase nautie or autie. No parent wants to let their child off the hook when they need to learn and take some responsibility. But also I think many parents recognise that how their child is reacting in certain situations is not down to just being naughty. And if it is down to autistic thinking, or anxiety, or sensory overload etc it is hard to make a judgement sometimes about whether punishment is appropriate. And I know that sometimes I can be just so damn impatient and frustrated that he won't just do what I ask and DO IT NOW. When my son did used to bite, I did bite him back once, not really hard, but hard enough for it to hurt. And sometimes I have used his autistic behaviour and done it myself back to him for him to see a reflection of himself. That was interesting. He immediately recognised my behaviour as being the same as his and stopped doing the thing I had thrown the tantrum about. So, within limits, I think using their behaviour back at them can give both the child and parent some very useful insights. But I'm rambling again. Would your son understand if you explained to him about how biting can cause an infection? Sometimes they don't know the implication of what they do. For example I don't think my son understood that biting hurt other people until I bit him! And he is able to understand about germs and how they can get under your skin and cause an infection. But he would need it explaining to him, because he would not automatically understand the outcome of biting someone else. Would he also understand if you told him that grandma thinks he doesn't like her because he bit her? These are all things I could use with my son, but I know that every child is totally different. Having to restrain a child must be very hard when they start getting bigger! What would happen if they were not restrained? I know that when my son is very upset any attempt to talk to him or touch him only makes things worse. Because he is experiencing sensory overload, any additional sensory information through talking or touching only adds to the problem.

If you go onto google advanced search and type in www.schoolbehaviour.com/conditions it brings up a very useful website that lists a number of disorders and symptoms/behaviours associated with them. (for some reason if I just type in the above link without using google I always get directed to another site). Anyway, some of the issues posted sounded to me like Executive Function Disorder.

I think it would be sensible to speak to your GP and ask about seizures etc. The other thing you mentioned is headaches and tummy ache. My son, from when he was a baby, used to have horrendous screaming fits and would be doubled up in pain. I would always be on the verge of heading to the A&E department when the pain killers would kick in. But it always took a dose of calpol and ibuprofen to get it under control, and it always took about an hour for it to work. Anyway, when he was around 3 he was diagnosed with abdominal migraines. Apparently children can have migraines in their stomache as well as in their head. My son also gets migraines as well. Two things I have noticed with my son about this. On some days he really feels the pain. On other occasions, although he is still having a migraine, he might not feel the pain as much, but he still has the nausea, tiredness and when he has recovered he doesn't remember much of what happened previously. And my son can at times withstand enormous levels of pain without even mentioning it. Once we didn't know he had an ear infection until his head swelled up on one side! When I asked him 'does your ear hurt', he said 'yes I can't get to sleep at night'. But if I hadn't asked the question he would not have volunteered any information at all.

I don't know all the ins and outs of situations like this eg. my son was also refused staying overnight on a school trip last year, so I had to go early and collect him. And he did have a huge meltdown and attempted to hit the teachers, but that was because they wouldn't let him stay and he had wanted to so much. So they actually caused the behaviour they were trying to avoid! He could have stayed if he had been supported. Anyway, there is something about these issues on the IPSEA website. I think in some circumstances (or maybe all?) it is classed as discrimination. If a child is in a wheelchair, all premises now have to have wheelchair access. Our children have different disabilities that need supporting in different ways. But if they are not supported and are refused access to things that is discrimination. Not sure how far any parent would want to pursue this. But it maybe worth finding out what your son's rights actually are in these circumstances. I too always had to go to support my son at after school clubs etc.

It depends if you have the time and are tenacious enough to be like a little dog with a bone!! I chipped away for about 2 years about how OT provision was not available for children with a diagnosis of an ASD within our LEA area. Our community OTs took referals from hospital and had criteria for assessing and prioritising the waiting list. So when the hospital is continually referring children with cerbal palsy, muscular dystrophy, etc those children are always going to go straight to the top of the list, whilst children with ASDs and sensory issues are kept waiting for 2+ years. So I complained, and lobbied by MP, and my GP and had discussions with the the person at the council responsibile for upholding Disability Discrimination Law etc. Now, we finally have had an OT appointed for 'education' only. She covers all the enhanced resource and special schools. But it is better than what we had before. Has it been worth it? Yes. I am quite happy to stand and shake the tree. If anyone has a child with an educational need or a health need and it is not being met, I think they have a right as parents to be given an explanation as to why their child does not have access to that provision. Sometimes, just by asking them to put in writing why your child has to wait 2+ years, can mean that they are breaking the law regarding waiting times for referals. Not always, but it is worth writing and asking for a reply in writing. You will get passed around the houses, but you will finally find the right person to address about your particular concern. That is what a democracy is about. We have a right to know. I have also met the Director of Commissioning for Educational Services at our local council. I was in a position about 2 years ago, where the school were able to apply to the LEA for some extra funding to get extra support for my son. This funding was turned down. I found out through the PP that it was turned down 'not because your son did not need the extra support, but because the school could not demonstrate how they would use those extra hours effectively'. SAY WHAT!!!! So my son was turned down for supports everyone agreed he needed, because the school could not fill in forms correctly because they did not know enough about ASDs. So I pursued that one, with the support of the PP who wrote me a letter confirming that my experience was not unique and that it happens on a regular basis that children in mainstream schools do not receive this funding because the school does not have enough experience in ASDs to say how they will use the extra hours effectively, and the school is not automatically given any assistance in completing this paperwork by the EP or the AAT. And when a child is turned down for extra funding the school and the LEA do not automatically inform the parents of the reason why. I and the PP asked that this became standard. But the LEA refused saying it was an issue between school and the LEA and not parents! And once a school had been turned down they did not have to re-apply. No one would check to make sure the child's needs were being met. No outside agency could force the school to re-apply or to prove that they didn't need to re-apply. Infact the woman at the council said that 'when in that situation the best thing a parent can do is to request a SA'. But the whole point of this extra funding was supposed to allow parents to get extra help for their children without going through the SA process. And finally she said that 'no system suits everyone'. Well I and the PP tried. I also gave this woman a list of concerns that parents at our support group regularly had regarding educational issues. I even pointed out to her that the booklets on display in reception about the schools available in our area, do not even explain which ones have experience of teaching children with ASDs! They state the school has extra funding for 'computers' or 'mathematics' etc, but not ASDs. So how is a parent supposed to make an informed decision about schooling when that information is not readily available? Anyway, those are two issues I have recently been involved with. I think that raising awareness is very important. Because although potholes maybe potentially dangerous - some of us do have other more pressing needs in our lives. And any system is supposed to be functional. Unless anyone is suggesting that some systems are set up to send parents around the houses and then deny them the access to the very thing they were applying for. I am far too cynical now - sorry. I put 'inclusion officers' alongside estate agents and bankers - sorry if there are any out there!!

In an ideal world, and maybe within your LEA what you have posted is true. But you have to respect that mine and many other parents do not have this experience. Mine was similar to the report posted in the NAS link mentioned above. A diagnosis of an ASD means that the child has to have significant clinical difficulties with both language and social communication to get the diagnosis in the first place. So there should not be any need for any further diagnosis on top. But when professionals are not allowed to assess and name needs and make recommendations, and call 'disorders' 'delays' and discharge children from SALT, and Statutory Assessments are turned down on a diagnosis of an ASD (including autism and aspergers as well), then what are parents supposed to do? They have to prove the level of difficulty in each area. I was supported throughout the process by the NAS educational advisers and the Tribunal Service and IPSEA. If my sons difficulties had been acknowledged his statement would have been okay and his placement would have been agreed. But I was denied access to everything my son needed, including SALT and school placement. I was denied transport. I was denied a TA to support him in class. This was even when the LEAs own professionals broke ranks and said my son needed a dedicated autism unit. The LEA still denied he needed that. Unfortunately things do not happen as they should. And LEAs bank on blanket refusals of Statutory Assessments and Statements in the hope that parents won't have the money or stammina to keep pushing towards Tribunal. Have you read the NAS link I posted? I am really glad your experience was not mine. But mine happened and is not an isolated case. And as Frogslegs has first posted. She has received a diagnosis and then been left to get on with it. How is that possible if a diagnosis in itself demonstrates complex needs?

I found this link on the NAS website about the whole SEN process. http://www.nas.org.uk/content/1/c4/34/44/n...oing-battle.pdf Another thing to consider instead of an outright private diagnosis, is whether you might achieve some or all of your goals by using a private professional on a regular therapy basis. For example there are many private SALTs working in clinics and running individual and group therapy sessions for children. But I would again recommend that any private professional should be independent (ie. not working 9-5 for the LEA or NHS), and for them to have experience of tribunal work. But for them to see your child and recommend a weekly or fortnightly programme is still 'evidence', and some parents use that in conjunction with LEA SALT as well. That would mean the cost would be spread out. For example a couple of years ago I paid for my son to go to fortnightly Play Therapy sessions. This was run by a group of Play Therapists who had a particular interest in this type of therapy for children on the autistic spectrum. My son went for about 18 months and I believe that these sessions were responsible for making him interested in social interaction for play purposes because during these sessions he led the play, so he was motivated, and they modelled behaviour back to him allowing him to see a reflection of himself. At that time he had no interest in other people as most social interaction was not successful from his point of view. And although they didn't write a report, they did ask all parents to complete a questionaire about social skills, and they also wrote a two page report on my sons play abilities both in using language and social interaction skills. This was some of my main evidence that my son needed support during playtimes/breaktimes and needing to be taught some social interaction skills. This was re-affirmed by the private SALT who did alot of assessments which enabled her to give very specific examples of his difficulties and how that impact in the school environment. I also used clubs that my son had joined as examples eg. football club - complete disaster - couldn't follow verbal instructions, didn't want any kind of physical contact, no concept of teams or team work or strategy or even what the aim of football was! Also trampoline club - he found it hard to wait his turn, couldn't remember verbal instructions, couldn't sequence physical movements, literal interpretation of language etc. Those difficulties all apply in the classroom setting. So there are lots of ways of gathering evidence. But you do need to take a long view, methodical approach and not go in with guns blazing. But just start finding out how your LEA works, what their policies are. Whether they are legal or not! Go to NAS or Parent Partnership seminars about ASDs or the SEN process etc.

Someone sent this to me, and it is right to the point. It's on the NAS website. Watch Keith on BBC Breakfast talking about autism: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/breakfast/8002161.stm My understanding of the brain (which doesn't amount to an awful lot), is that a toddlers brain actually has more connections than ours, and that only the connections that are used regularly are kept. The brain removes any connections that are not used frequently. This is my personal opinion, but I think it might be that due to difficulties associated with autism certain connections will not be used frequently enough (specifically associated with the triad of impairments) causing those connections not used to be 'pruned', which may be why some autistic behaviours appear at around 3+ years. But this pruning of the connections that are not regularly used is factual. And the impression I got from the reading I did (way back then), was that although there can be 'tweaking' and improvements, the overall connections are already in place by age 6. There is also factual evidence that 'feral children' who have not acquired the use of language (because they have been bought up by animals), can not acquire language after the age of 4 years old. So a child with severe verbal difficulties, if not addressed at the age appropriate time, may not acquire language to a level they could have acquired it, or may not acquire language at all. There are definate windows of development which are all time bound, and if those windows of opportunity are not used they are lost. An example of this is that if a kitten, when born, has one eye covered with a patch, after a couple of weeks, when that patch is removed, that kitten will be blind in that eye and will never regain sight in that eye eventhough there is nothing physically wrong with that eye. It is a case of 'use it or lose it'. So the covered eye never developed the connections to the brain needed to retain sight. That, I believe, has alot of implications for the early intervention with children with ASDs. Then on top of those difficulties, children with ASDs don't typically develop in the 'typical' sequential order, so they may acquire some basic skills in some areas, but not across the board. This leads to a 'spiky' profile, and again those areas of weakness need to be addressed and worked on otherwise the spiky profile will become more acute in certain areas as a lack of basic skills will have a domino effect on higher skills - and those difficulties will be much harder to address if we simply wait to see how the child develops. I'm not sure what the brain development is around adolescence. I thought it was more to do with emotions and relationships and not actual brain growth - I'll have to go off on a websearch!

Same story i'm afraid. Made me lose faith in 'inclusion' when no-one wants to include you!! At his previous school the mums with 'SEN' children used to chat in the playground and we'd arrange to meet eachother, go to eachothers parties etc. My son did get invited to a couple of parties pre-diagnosis! On his last birthday we invited some kids from his old school and some from his new school. I must say, that all the NT kids we invited were a real handful! All the SEN kids were well behaved. But I did notice a big difference in 'party games'. When he was at his old school we could arrange party games - pass the parcel, musical chairs etc and everyone joined in. The SEN children didn't know how to play these games - or didn't want to play them. That worried me, because my son has been taught these games and enjoys playing them. He sometimes gets upset if he doesn't win, but I think that means they should play these types of games more, not less. So everyone sat down and did some drawings instead - and they did it quietly!!

The case on IPSEA can be found at www.ipsea.org.uk/phelps.htm And it is regarding professional negligence, not discrimination as posted earlier. This could be an interesting turn of events if professionals can be found to be negligent if they don't diagnosis or provide proper supports!

I agree with Pearl. If this difficulty was just down to problems understanding time, which are typical of Executive Functions, then your son might not understand the timeframe of things or what order they happened in, or whether it happened yesterday, today or tomorrow, but he would remember them happening. This sounds different.

In my case my son's nursery teacher raised concerns when he was 3. I talked with the Health Visitor and my GP, both assured me that his lack of speech, spinning, sensory issues and repeating everything he heard back at you, or repeating TV dialogue was 'normal'. It isn't. He should have been referred for assessments immediately. Instead they said to wait, and if my son had problems in school that the school would raise them. My son was already having problems in nursery! Six months into reception year I was called into school because of his behaviour - hiding under the table, banging his head on the floor/wall, scratching his face, tantrums and crying, vomiting. He was unable to follow a simple instruction, he did not learn anything, he could not participate in the classroom, he could not play, share or take turns. These were all things I knew and which had been evidence since he was around 3 years old. I feel this was time lost and a missed opportunity. And it was very hard to have to take him kicking and screaming into school every day for the 18 months it took for them to diagnose him (with him receiving no extra support in school). And it took another 2 years on top of that to get a Statement. I do understand that the whole process needs to take time to make sure they make the right decisions. But I feel my son was put through hell (and therefore the family as well), because the process was so slow and no supports were provided until after a diagnosis, and then what was available was so little (equivalent of one days input per year from the AAT), that it was laughable. If I hadn't managed to get a Statement and move schools we would be home schooling by now. And I know my story is not something extraordinary. Only now, that he is 8, do I feel that he is at the start of receiving the level of support, therapies and input he needs. Most professionals agree that therapies and supports have a better prognosis before the age of 6 which is when the brain is fully formed. There can be improvements and progress after the age of 6 obviously. But by the age of 6 the brain is fully wired and that wiring cannot be changed.

Also regarding any private reports. That needs to be considered as a last resort, because you do need evidence of need and you do need evidence that the school/LEA has either tried and failed, or failed to try. Both of which take time to prove and gather evidence for. If agreement and provision can be reached without having to resort to anything private then great. No parent has free cash to be throwing around. But be under no illusions. LEAs have legal departments who try to keep their costs down and within budget. My LEA now only talks about 'learning difficulties' and not dyslexia. Because once a child has a diagnosis of Dyslexia there are tried and tested ways of meeting that need, which can involve a teacher specialised in teaching children with dyslexia. As a significant amount of parents have been successful at getting that provision for their children at tribunal, the only way the LEA can get around having to meet that specific learning difficulty is to not use the word 'dyslexia' in any of their reports and hope that any parents will not get a private report that does use the word Dyslexia. I believe on the IPSEA website there has been some legal movement on this issue, as an adult (not with an ASD) has tried to sue the LEA for not meeting her needs. This is a woman who was diagnosed with dyslexia and feels that she did not meet her educational potential because her learning difficulty was not addressed in school and she has argued that that constitutes discrimination. Infact in our LEA (after much lobbying by parents of children with ASD)(and after bringing up disability discrimination law), they now provide an OT who goes into the enhanced resource and special schools. However at the same time the Dyslexia outreach teachers position has disappeared. And I know that there is only so much money in the pot. But all LEAs are paying private school fees for some children. In our area, for just one private school (and there are other private schools they also pay fees for), the LEA are paying a yearly fee of £210,000 pa in private fees for 5 children. With that amount of money they could have set up a local school that had an SALT, EP and OT on site and met the needs of many children instead of paying private fees for just 5 children. We don't make the system, others do. In some circumstances that then leaves solicitors on both sides fighting over who has a right to what services. And those that do win a right to those services end up taking money out of the pot leaving less remaining for the rest of us. What is the answer to that. Our LEA is now making moves to change the criteria under which a Statement will be issued. Our local PP is encouraging all parents of children with ASDs to start SA's now because the change in criteria will mean that no Statement will be issued to any child that is capable of remaining in a mainstream school. PP are suggesting that this means that resources are going to be concentrated in enhanced resource of special schools because those children have a higher chance of winning at tribunal and therefore it is more cost effective to support those children - otherwise some of them will get placements in private schools. With this change mainstream children will suffer because they won't get statements and therefore the LEA will not be legally bound to meet their needs. That is my LEA. Everyone elses may be completely different.

I wasn't suggesting a diagnosis of a speech disorder rather than a diagnosis of an ASD, I meant on top of. It does appear from postings that different LEAs appear to make very different decisions and approaches. In my LEA having a diagnosis of AS or ASD does not get you a statement. You have to prove complex needs and a diagnosis of ASD does not give any indepth information as to how severely a child is affected or how complex their difficulties are. It just says ASD. Most children with a diagnosis of an ASD tend to have had some SALT input, and usually the difficulties are said to be 'delay'. But the speech and communications problems associated with ASDs are not delays - because a delay means you can catch up and it means you have a typical interpretation of language and typical language development (but slower), and have social skills etc. Those with ASDs have permanent difficulties with language and social interaction. If a child has problems with pronouns, literal interpretation of language, echolalia or delayed echolalia, difficulties with Semantics and Pragmatics, then in no way can that be called a 'delay'. And, it sounds cynical, but I know that professionals are told not to use certain words in their reports. I know this because they have told me so off record. And a friend of mine only today had a conversation with her SALT (different LEA to mine), who was surprised to hear that support for Dyslexia had not been provided for the child she had written a report for. When my friend said 'but you didn't say Dyslexia in your report', the professional said 'we are not allowed to use that word but I made it very obvious that that is what the difficulty was, and that your child has severe difficulties that impact on all areas of learning'. Well, it's a shame she didn't say that then isn't it! And my own AAT phoning me on her mobile in a stationery cupboard 'because she had been told not to speak to me and she didn't want her work colleagues to overhear what she said to me because she was putting her job on the line'. Sounds bizzare, but it is true. So why can't they just tell the truth - it would save everyone alot of time and money (on private reports). It is all down to funding. Yes Semantic Pragmatic Speech Disorder used to be considered as different to an ASD, now it is considered part of an ASD. But the point I was trying to make is that when you get a diagnosis of an ASD first, you then need clarification of how your child is affected. Some children will have Semantic Pragmatic Speech Disorder. If they are diagnosed with that within our LEA they cannot be discharged from SALT even when they are at secondary age. Without a diagnosis of a speech disorder the child will be discharged by SALT at secondary age, if not sooner within our LEA. And that doesn't even take into consideration 'social interaction' difficulties that have to be present to get a diagnosis of an ASD. So how can a child be discharged from SALT if they have a diagnosis of an ASD. Don't teenagers need input with social interaction/communication/relationships?

Can homework be something that is discussed with school? If he is struggling to cope in school, then having to do more of the same at home could just be the final straw for him. My own son's behaviour used to be alot worse when I was doing alot of homework with him to try to give him a chance to catch up (when he was in reception and year 1). Then I just stopped doing any at all because homelife became a battle ground and the AAT told me to stop the homework and allow him to recover from his day at school. It did affect his school work and he did regress, but that actually helped to prove they were not supporting him properly in school. Now he is at a new school and we do do some homework most evenings, but only a couple of minutes at a time. And no more than 10 minutes at any time.

The point I was trying to make is that girls tend to be better verbal communicators than boys as a generalisation. And there is also different ways of showing stress or anxiety as other people have posted, depending on the gender of the child. This isn't always a 100% true, but there is still this gender difference. So, if you have a child with an ASD who appears to have good language skills (we are talking about females, but it applies to males just the same), then why don't professionals assess for theory of mind? I have been told by SALT and AAT and EP that ToM is something that those with ASDs either don't have, or they have difficulty with. But they don't and won't assess for it. Well not through my LEA anyway. And ToM affects language comprehension and relationships. (I'm not saying that parents are more qualified than professionals. But parents live with their child 24/7 and should be listened to by professionals - but I wasn't suggesting that anyway). By this sort of testing and assessments you would surely pick up those who are potentially on the spectrum because they have this difficulty and NTs don't. Or can NTs have problems with Theory of Mind, I don't know??

You could say that a friend who also has a child on the spectrum brought up the similarities between your two children and that caused you to look at the NAS website. Say that you would like to know if being on the spectrum is a possibility or not. And you could offer them the information that you have collected, ie. say that you have made some notes of where you think he is showing behaviour that might be autistic, and ask if it would be useful for them to have a copy of it? I did make a long list of things he could and couldn't do. But at the time I was attempting to prove that my son was not on the spectrum - now when I look back at that list, he is soooo on the spectrum it makes me smile. But anyway, back then I had a Health Visitor and a local GP telling me 'not to worry' and that 'all children do these types of things', and that if there was a real problem school would pick it up. Well they did pick it up, but that was some 2 years later. This is my own opinion, but for some strange reason the parents who think their son isn't on the spectrum have the professionals falling over themselves to diagnose, and the parents who suspect an ASD are told that that is not necessarily the case. I think it might be something to do with professional egos. I even video taped my son playing with his sister to prove he could play and interact. And I was then told that actually I had recorded him playing alongside and playing rigidly and not using language to interact - apparently!!! And what can make it more confusing is that some professionals appear not to like to diagnose and put a 'label' on a child. And may keep wanting to 'wait and see' - but it is also true that the prognosis is better the sooner any therapies or interventions start - so what are they waiting for!!! Whilst others think it is absolutely necessary to get a diagnosis to get the supports the child needs. But the individual and the family has to live with that professionals personal preference, and quite frankly I don't think they should be allowed to do that. They should present the situation as it is. This professional you are seeing is supposed to have experience of children with ASDs. So I would just try to be open with her and say that you have concerns about an ASD and that you have looked at the NAS website and that you do feel that this is a possibility and ask her what she will do to help her decide if he is on the spectrum and who else he will be referred to for assessments or observations. Say that you have been advised to keep a record of your concerns (put the onus on the NAS if it makes you feel better) regarding your son and then offer the information you have gathered. Just go with your gut feeling, and say that you want answers because this is something long term (you've already kept notes for over a year and your first concerns were probably a while before that as well), so this isn't some 'phase' he is going through.

I know Olga does do talks all over the UK. She is from the Ukraine and is trained as a linguist. She runs a school for autistic children/adults in the Ukraine. She has a daughter with Aspergers and a son with autism. I think she spends her time in the UK based at the University of Birmingham. There is alot of debate and interest about fluctuating sensory perception between hyper sensitive and hypo sensitive. And a child can fluctuate between the two throughout the day in any or all of the senses. So my son might cover his ears if I turn the vaccum cleaner on, but later in the day be quite happy popping balloons and then later may appear deaf when I call his name! Donna Williams (adult with autism), is a firm believer that being hypo is more difficult that hyper because with hypo the information is not getting through at all. I think that being hyper can be just as bad because it can cause sensory shutdown where the person retreats into themselves and effectively turns off all sensory input (effectively the same as being hypo). She also talks about trying to teach using gesture instead of always getting the child to keep swopping sensory channels eg. look/listen/look/listen etc. With gesture you can keep looking whilst also teaching and not have to switch channels. For some children just the switching of sensory channels can cause them to lose their place in the process of things and they have to start again from the beginning. Another suggestion I found very useful by Donna Williams was that when I was talking to me son about something she said not to address him but to address the object in hand as this stops the disconnection from the object to the person. So if he was making a model I wouldn't say 'what are you making John', I would saying something like 'great model' and then he might respond 'train' and so our conversation would continue about the object. If I asked him 'what are you doing' he might throw a tantrum because I had broken his concentration. Of course that was a while ago. And he has made enormous improvements in all areas since then. But the difficulties of swopping channels and processing and multi tasking from a sensory point of view are still there and he has found some ingenious ways of coping.

That is very useful and compact. I can tick enough of them for my own son. And if that is relevant to a child that is not 'delay' that is 'disorder' and an experienced SALT should be involved and you would be looking for a diagnosis of a disorder.

I always talk through new situations, or old ones I know will be difficult before we go out. When he was younger he had a pair of DIY ear defenders (from B&Q), which we took everywhere with him. He also wears Irlen glasses. And I would make sure he had something to hold, which he continues to do to this day. Anyway, if we are going to the cinema, I will ask him 'do you think you need your ear defenders'. And when he is asked he can make a choice. If he doesn't need them he takes them off. He can't necessarily predict that he might need them, I would take them along in the car incase he needed them. So those things reduced his anxiety at not being able to cope in the environment and not being able to leave immediately. Other suggestions made sound very good too. But have you also considered whether it might be the actual environment and the sensory implications that could be making him feel ill. There are many children that get anxious at the supermarket because the lighting, smells, sounds etc are just too overwhelming. My son also gets alot of headaches and feeling sick. This too was related to both sensory issues and also anxiety about certain situations, especially not coping in the classroom. Now he is 8 he has improved alot. But he will still vomit when anxious. This leads to him having 48 hours off each time he is sick (because that is the rules), regardless of the fact that I know he isn't ill it is anxiety.

But behind all this behaviour, and lack of ability or understanding at varying degrees for those on the spectrum - there are ways of assessing it. For example assessing Theory of Mind. Regardless of how well your language skills are, you can assess theory of mind. And interestingly some non-verbal autistics may have the same or even better theory of mind than some high functioning aspergers. It is all about basic skills and whether they are present, and if so to what level, and what impact do those basic skills on the growth of higher skills. And every child is a different combination of strengths and weakness. But if you take it all back to the basic skills you can quite easily identify how any individual is affected. But those types of assessments just don't appear to happen. I tend to think if it like a pyramid. And at the level where professionals are observing our children is usually about half way up the pyramid. You need to go back to the foundations and see what skills are there and which are missing or which are weak.

I think bid has hit the nail on the head about the 'reason' behind the behaviour. Yes, all girls may do that, but what is their motivation? For someone on the spectrum they are doing it without the understanding behind it, they are mimicking/copying attempting to become invisible. And although all children learn by watching. Those with ASDs are not learning. That is the whole point. They can't and don't learn from their peers. They copy. And for many they have no idea as to why what people do works, they just see that it does, but they cannot work it out and it never becomes second nature to them. It is a constant exercise in keeping up appearances. Someone put it quite nicely when they said to me that it was 'as if the handbook on the rules of how to get on in life was never given out to me', and that was a woman on the spectrum. And she constantly tried to fit in, but her attempts were always misinterpretated as being snobbish, reserved, picky and someone who sucked up to the boss. When really she used precise language, tried to avoid groups, and tried to keep to doing things the way she felt best doing them and avoided the daily chit chat by keeping her head down and getting on with her work. This woman was continually bullied out of jobs, and usually only lasted about 6 months in any one of them. Unfortunately humans do have this 'pack' identity and will attack vulnerable people.