Frizz

Hi. Six years ago before our DD was diagnosed with AS, we took a family trip to Europa Park in Germany. We always vowed to return & are now considering a trip at Easter. The 'problem' is that we have become accustomed to using an exit pass in theme parks in this country & now DD is older, her inability to que for long is more stressful & obviously noticable to those around us. I just wondered if anyone had visited Europa Park & recieved an exit pass? If so, how did you go about it please? I do plan to email them & have browsed the web site, but dont see anything there that gives me hope. Many thanks.

Hi. This is a question I have decided to post to try to help out a friend. She has been scouring the internet to find some black & white symbols,rather like the pecs symbols,that she can download/print off,for free! She needs them to make a visual timetable/keyring/book for a little boy at her pre school.He has no diagnosis as yet,but she feels he would benefit from these items,yet doesn't have the budget at this time of year,to spend on them.

Well we did our day at Alton Towers & all went well The system has changed somewhat & I actually feel it has changed for the better. When you look back at the old system it was open to abuse & there probably were people in reciept of DLA that used the exit pass system because they could & not because they needed to. Now,you have to provide a letter from your GP or consultant that states that you have difficulty queing/with social skills etc.I took DD's diagnosis letter that states Aspergers & I also took her statement which has a section describing some of her difficulties in social settings.This was more than adequate. DD was then issued with a red wristband & a card that had to be signed & have a minimum time noted that we had to wait,before we could go on one of the 'big' rides again. It made the system seem fairer to other users,'tho I still felt a tad guilty waiting to board a ride & seeing how long the ques were! To ease my guilt,we decided to que 'properly'for a ride as the wait time was only 20 minutes. BIG mistake-I was tearing my hair out by the time we reached the front of the que & to make me feel even more stupid for that bad decision,2 ride attendants saw DD's wristband & said "you dont have to que with a wristband, didnt they tell you that at guest services? You poor thing, no wonder you look stressed!!" SO,to sumise; If you have an ASD it appears that as long as you have the correct paperwork with you,little has changed & you should have an amazing,fun filled & stress free day. Just dont let guilt get the better of you!

I havent really been on for some time & it almost seems cheeky to post this question! We are off to Alton Towers tomorrow for DD's annual birthday treat (done it for the past 2 years! lol)I went onto the website earlier so we can plan our route & save our legs & noticed that they have really tightened up the criteria for wristbands & access passes. I wondered if anyone has been yet this year & if so how the changes affected the day? They will no longer accept DLA letters as proof & it seems they are limiting the amount of times you can use the big rides & also cutting down on who is issued with a wristband/exit pass. It could be that our day is unaffected or it could mean BIG changes. We've been planning our trip for some time so cant & dare'nt change the venue! Wish me luck!!

Hi everyone. I'm looking for a good (preferably British)social story about being angry,agressive behaviour etc.It would be nice if it dealt with both negative & positive emotions,but perhaps I'm asking too much! I had a look at some of the links on this site but wondered if anyone had a good social story or knew of one that I can download? Many thanks.

Okay,so back from school & feeling loads better. It would seem the head was just making the point that if she leaves the lesson,she catches up in her own time! Detention was probably the wrong choice of wording. I took the oportunity to discuss SATS & it appears she has extra time & a TA to hand as well.Oh, & they are in May,not March as she thought. School feel she is more than capable of taking them & will work on the mentioned anxieties in the time running up to the tests. Hopefully things will all work out ok. If not,watch this space!!!

Hi. My DD is in year 6 & due to sit SATS next month.This week we have had 2 days where she has refused to work & cooperate at school & it seems too much of a coincidence that this has happened the same week that she discovered how close the exams are. I tried to encourage her to talk about it with me,but she either shouts & yells at me or shuts down.I have managed to discover that she is worried about the timed aspect of the tests & that she cannot do joined up writing. I introduced a 'worry book' hoping that she might pop some notes down in it for me to read but alas no! As I type she is serving an after school detention for not completing her work during school hours.If her fear of failure is making her stop working in class,I feel punishment is not the way to go,but the headteachers philosophy is "you're here to learn". I should add that the school has a social & communications department & she has been in the school for 18months after a disasterous time in a mainstream setting. I am about to head off to collect her now & will take my opinion up with the teacher. My DD is no genious,but I feel that if the SATS are going to cause this much anxiety (& I'm only guessing its the cause),then I should put my foot down & tell the school to back off. Youre opinions/experience would be much appreciated. Many thanks.x

Hello. I'm sure the information I require is on this forum somewhere but I just cant find it! I've recently heard about a credit card sized information card that is available from NAS,which says something like"please be patient with me ,I have aspergers syndrome....." & I believe more information. I dont know exactly what they're called or where to look on the site.Can anyone point me in the right direction please? Many thanks.

Just back after a full on day visiting family & how lovely to read all your comments & know it was ok for me too feel how I did. I haven't spoken of it again with DH! I have to say that I can be quite a fiesty person & dont tend to hold back,so I shocked myself at how quiet I was & how distressed it made me feel.I think if I hadn't been sitting in a hall full of parents watching their kids perform I would have said something.I dont know really,its hard to say. I wonder if it will be followed up at school or if I will recieve a phone call as I did tell the teacher that the performance was spoilt for me by some women slating my DD,using foul language & being abusive.I then uncharacteristicaly stormed off. Thankyou all for your kind words,they have made me feel better.I like the idea of the video-maybe I will ask the teacher.

Hi. Today was the school play.My aspie DD had a small speaking role & was dancing with 35 other kids & naturally we went to watch & support her in this achievement. Perhaps I should start by explaining that DD attends a mainstream school with a department.She has somewhat challenging behaviour at times,with agressive outbursts & a number of exclusions as a result.She has transport to & from school as it is some distance from where we live,therefore we are rarely present at the school & dont know any of the parents. Today we settled into our seats,then realised we were seated infront of 2 very vocal & annoying couples but alas it was too late to move.The children entered the hall & immedietly one woman pointed out my DD & they began saying such awful & abusive things that I was literally shaking. My DH is suffering 'man flue' & totaly engrosed in the performance heard nothing!! Some comments made about DD included: She looks & acts stupid.She is a little B**CH,If she came to our school(??)she would get a good beating,Oh god she's coming this way,if she comes near me i'll give her a good kicking....................... I bit my lip very hard & held back the tears,left very quickly at the end & when the teacher stopped me to say how well DD had done,I gave her a brief outline of why I was upset & walked out. DH's response to my anguish was"You could tell they were idiots as soon as we sat down,just take no notice" Grrrrrrrrr!!! DD noticed I was glum throughout the performance & commented on it afterwards.I know she has issues & is immature for her age (& my, did I notice today,how immature & un streetwise & different she is from other girls her age),but she is still my daughter & those comments really hurt,so much so,that it's almost midnight & i'm still feeling sick in the stomach! So, my question is,AM I over reacting? & do I feel SO sad because today I realised just how different DD is & that she wont develop into the confident,sassy kid that the other girls are growing into?

Wow! I wondered if I was reading too much into her lack of ability with numeracy,but having read all your replies I actually think I am onto something! Interestingly,at the annual review the class teacher,senco,headteacher all nodded in agreement when I raised the possibility!!! I wrote down a list of all our academic concerns that are not on her current statement & issued everyone present with a copy.The sen representative from the council asked if I would like them to be included on her new statement. Only time will tell,but it will be interesting if they are all noted-is it really that easy for a parent to add to a statement? The EP was present too,so I will chase up my request for a formal assesment of dyscalcular. Thankyou all so very much for your help & advice. x

Hi. Thanks to you both. Grace, your article gave an almost spot on list of my DD's difficulties-definetly worth a mention tomorrow I think!

Hi. My DD has a diagnosis of Asperger's,she is 10.As time goes by I am wondering more & more if she could also have Discalcular. She finds maths a real struggle, for example; 2 years ago we had a marathon run at the times tables because school expressed concerns that she didnt know them.We are now in the situation we were then-pretty hopeless!In addition to the maths,she cannot tell the time nor her left from right. Her statements annual review is tomorrow & I am considering mentioning it then.Does anyone else have experience of AS & Discalcular going hand in hand? I've kind of left it a bit late & intended to post last night but got tied up in reading up on other things! Thankyou in anticipation.

Thankyou both for the links you posted.I found them very helpfull.I think the fact that she has a diagnosis & we recieve DLA puts me in a good position-at least I hope so! I work in a pre school so my absence or need to leave suddenly does cause major issues for the staff on site. NickyB-I do hope periods makes a difference,at least I guess then we will only have to deal with the pmt!! Thankyou again.

Hi Peaches. My DS is mean to her younger sibling-when he wont play by her rules,if he does something she doesnt like,if we reprimand or punish her for something & he is near by......It's probably not what you wanted to hear & it breaks my heart that it happens. When we look back over the years(she is 10 now),she has always done it.As a toddler she would knock him over when he was learning to sit up/walk.If she wanted a toy he was playing with she would just shove him to get it. Are we bad parents for letting her get away with it? No certainly not.She never gets away with it,never has,but she doesnt or cant stop doing it & we dont have the answer!! I know it doesnt always occur in families as I have friends with 'aspie' children.I do hope its just a phase or a bit of attention seeking behaviour that 'R' is going through. Good luck.

Hi. I desperately need some help & advice & I hope there is someone who can give it!! My DD has a diagnosis of Aspergers & our biggest headache is her agressive behaviour.Any time,any place anyone.We rarely leave her in the company of other kids for fear of what may happen.Her younger sibling is frequently the target for her agression & she is frequently in trouble for it at school. I work part time,but the amount of hours that I do in a typical month depends on how many times I get called out to school & how many times she is excluded!!Comments have been made about 'staff reliability' & basically it doesnt take an idiot to realise they are refering to me! My question to anyone in the know is basically in two parts. 1:Could my employers sack me because my daughters behaviour/disability calls me away at times. 2:Will this agressive behaviour EVER stop? Having just read back what I have written it seems so cold & full of self pity,but thats where I am at the moment! We need my jobs measley income & I am at the end of my tether with my daughter.It feels as though she is wrecking all our lives & I just dont know what to do anymore. Sorry guys I'm looking at your wealth of knowledge for some answers. Thankyou.

Hello! I havent been on the forum for a while & thought I would 'pop'by for a browse. WOW!! What a super new look.Very clean cut & proffesional looking. Well done to those responsible.

Oh my! I have often thought that my DD doesnt 'fit' in many of the listed Aspie traits I have read. Think again!! Having read table 1,she is text book! Is this taken from the book mentioned on the same page do you know?

I read this post hoping there would be a majic answer that I hadn't thought of-drat no!! As atoddler DD would never stay on the stairs & if you repeatedly put her back,she would think it a game & laugh in your face. We tried the minute per year of life thing,in her bedroom(she has no tv or computer up there) & when time is up,you go in & she is engrossed in a book! Now in desperation it is down to loss of screen time.First to go is the DS,this hits her hardest as she is allowed to dip into that whenever she likes,so loss of that for 24hrs hurts enough to have an impact-at the moment it does anyway! TV & computer time is rationed in our house,but if need be I remove those privaliges too.Short of that,I truly dont know what else to do! Naturally we verbally emphasise after each agressive outburst that it is unacceptable behaviour & this is why she has lost her screen time.Hopefully one day it will sink in!

I wonder if we use the same Parent partnership as we are very nearly neighbours! The LEA provide a taxi for my DD to be taken to & from school. She also left a sibling behind when she moved schools-It was hard for me to know he would remain there alone,but he doesnt appear bothered by it.I do so feel for you as I was so stressed by the school difficulties,it played on my mind all day every day. The frustration & despair I felt was unbelievable & it was making me ill. I was also cross that my DD behaved in this way. When I analised the history of her agressive behaviour,I realised it began when she started at that school (age7) & got progressively worse the older she got. I now feel that the schools inability to deal with her difficulties played a major part in this deterioration.I have since been advised by other proffesionals,that her reactions are extreme & are a learnt behaviour. She always has lashed out at siblings & other kids,but never at adults. At her old school she went for the teachers!! I hope that aged 9 it's not too late to to re educate her & teach her (along with all those other lessons & life skills!), that hurting people is not the acceptable response to feeling angry,stressed or frustrated! Hope you get things sorted soon. x

Hi Justine1. My DD age 9,with a diagnosis & a statement, spent much of the past 12 months being excluded! Firstly a day, then two & on & on until she managed 5 days, with over 20 in total! For the most part her exclusions were for aggresive behaviour.In short, after much 'outside' help & advice, the situation got no better & her school life was miserable. Like you, I swung between being angry with her & angry with the school, because they really seemed incapable of managing her & coping with her needs. Eventually we moved schools. It was a difficult decision, but one we are happy to have made. it's early days for her yet, but she is so much happier & the agressive episodes have reduced dramatically. She is still in mainstream,but the school has a social & communications unit. It has,for my DD made a huge difference. We just pray that things continue as well as they have been. Good luck to you.

When my 7yr old is particularly cross & frustrated with her,he has been known to call her a 'numb skull'. Like Justine1's youngest, he knows exactly which buttons to press to annoy her. I know he finds her inapropriate behaviour embarrasing when we/they are out in public.He has told me this.There is 2 years difference in their ages & he can be quite mature where as she can be very immature.In general I think it is quite hard for him at home & at school. He recently asked if there were such things as 'syndrome schools' because if there were,then why couldnt she go to one!!

Thanks for the tip,sadly upon looking into it in detail,although pre orders are being taken it would seem that the release date is March 2010. Not all bad tho as my kids have birthdays shortly after!! Any idea what Mario Party is like?

Thanks Kathryn! It's at the Walnuts over in Hazely. 7.30pm.

Hi. With only something rediculous like 52 days left till christmas, the requests for ideas have started coming in!! Too much going on at the moment to start looking round the shops etc, then had a brain wave-a family wii game-but which one?! The all time favourite that all four of us loved (& still do) is 'super mario galaxy' Something nice like that I thought....but there's so much to choose from I dont know where to start. We have 'my sims kingdom' but it hasnt been a hit, same with 'my pet hotel'. Mario kart has been fun tho poor DS is such a hopeless driver that she invairably storms out having finished 12th Any suggestions would be gratefully recieved! Many thanks. Santa's little helper.