Willow-Tree

Not when I'm awake as such, but sometimes when I'm asleep and my alarm goes off, I begin this weird repeating 'dream' where I am convinced I have turned my alarm off, got up, had a shower and eaten etc and am getting on with my day. It happens in what feels like real time and it's all exactly like it would be, no weird 'dream' like occurrences for a while, but then something will seem a little off, maybe a picture isn't right or something and I think..'hang on...' and then I wake up briefly, with my alarm going, without being able to move at all, then it starts over..and goes on for hours until someone physically wakes me up or calls me or something. I've wasted so many mornings having had this happen.

I have both, they were diagnosed by separate people in different years, but the second agreed with my previous diagnosis of Dyspraxia, and himself diagnosed Dyscalculia. Honestly, there seems to be so much overlap with all the things I have been diagnosed with, but I think if you show significant signs of difficulty in maths then a separate diagnosis is useful - I got one to one help in Maths at school.

Thanks smileyK

Sorry to hear you've had so many problems I had a lot of problems actually getting diagnosed, but once I was, I filled out the form for DLA, not knowing what to expect, but I wound up with Lower Rate Care and Lower Rate Mobility. I'll briefly explain, but I think the system is changing soon, so not sure my advice will apply (although my step-dad said the new system will be more sympathetic of 'mental' disabilities. I have never signed on at the job centre, as my partner works full time, so we had no need - but I was already receiving my DLA by the time I met him so I just continued (for some lucky reason, they have my claim down as indefinite - which happened after they messed up my application last time and cut my mobility and I had to appeal...) Anyway, the main thing when filling it out is giving examples of the worst days you have, so they know how hard it can be. In terms of 'physically' being able to do something, like getting dressed - I to can get dressed by myself, but you need to say that someone has to encourage you and prompt you constantly or at regular intervals before you will do it. I'm the same with most things. I have to be prompted to eat or take a shower, otherwise I'll just sit on the couch/sleep all day - on my worst days. With every question they ask, where you are able to do it, you just can't because of your depression, you need to repeat yourself by saying you need prompts. Even if there isn't anyone that prompts you, say that you would need it in order to get things done. Give examples of what would need to be in place. I can't go out alone, so I need someone to take me. There isn't always someone available, so I can't do certain things, but it doesn't change the fact that I can't go out without a person. With that, what you have to make clear is that although you can walk, you can't walk outside alone without a person to keep you calm. I sensory overload when I'm out alone and so things that should be warning me of danger, like traffic noise, don't really get through to me and I become a danger to myself. Or if I have gone out alone and I panic, then I need someone to come and get me, even if it's not practical for them.

We moved house when my brother with AS was just turning 5 (it was literally his birthday the week we moved). He too seemed oblivious. I wasn't hugely comfortable with the move, myself, and I was about 13. However, we'd known for a long time we'd be moving, but we didn't know the exact date, for about 2 months, only, the second I found out we were moving, despite not having a date, I packed. I wanted to get everything sorted so I didn't have to rush and forget anything or break anything. Of course, this resulted in me living out of boxes for the couple of months until we got our date and we could go, so whilst I didn't like the idea of a new environment, I was glad to get everything out and in place again (my Mum had set money aside for me to decorate my room straight away and she also gave a room that was the same shape as my old one, so everything kind of just went back where it was). My brother was so fussed about a different place as at that age, he'd not been playing outside so he wasn't familiar with it, so our new garden and street didn't make much difference to him. His room was also a similar shape, with the added bonus of glow in the dark stars, which as he seemed so excited about, we didn't paint over for a while. As long as he still had all his favourite toys in an as easy to grab location, he didn't seem bothered. I think at his age, it's more about what he owns, not where he is with it. Good luck with the move!

As a 20 year old with Aspergers, who since she was 16 knew she wanted to be a Graphic Designer, and now is a Graphic Designer, I would obviously tell you that that's best - however, I will go through all 3 of your choices and give my opinions Teacher: From a very young age I wanted to be a teacher, however, as I got older and my AS really kicked in, I shied away from it because of the huge educational commitment. I love learning and I loved school, I just didn't love the people and the strict time scales. I wanted to be alone and to learn when I felt okay, not all the time and with 20 or so other people ruining it for me. I knew that I was becoming more and more detached from school and in the end I did 'quit'. And whilst university would have been a different environment, I still had to do A Levels, and I didn't want to be in a very similar school setting, with most of the same people I'd been with for years. Beyond that aspect, I don't think I could get up every day and go to work at the same time to teach a bunch of teens who probably don't want to be there. And as I'm not very confrontational, I don't think I could handle those who misbehave, and then I would just end up being bullied by my students. Plus, the other teachers who you are with every day will probably be quite social types and, for me, I don't think I could get on with them, day in day out. Finally, the pay is, to an extent, capped - at whatever the government decide, and that could also be cut whenever they feel like it as well - so potential to be promoted and get pay rises - pretty limited. Graphic Designer: Whilst you can get proper qualifications for this, it's not vital that you do. And, you can do various courses outside of places like school and university, just at local colleges etc. The other bonus, is if you do it right, you can work from home to do this, which is perfect, for me at least!. And most of the interaction between you and another person can be done, without people thinking it's odd, via email. If you build yourself a solid portfolio of work, you can get a job - they will hire you because of what they can see you are capable of, rather than taking someone on who only has a degree and no portfolio. There are a lot of jobs which require a degree, but then, there are plenty that don't. If you did get a job, the types of people you would socialize with, I have found, are more like minded. Strictly speaking, the atmosphere in that kind of job won't be as formal as it would be at a school as a teacher. Which would be less stressful. And with pay, you can progress a little more within a job than you could as a teacher, but more than that, you can 'shop around' to find somewhere with higher pay, each time you feel you need more, if you don't feel you could get it where you are. But more importantly if you did it right and you were successfully working from home/expanded into a business you manage, your pay isn't capped at all, you decide when you work and how much you charge. It isn't easy, I'm not going to pretend I make anywhere near enough money to support anything, but at times, I was doing pretty good! Shrink: Whilst this is something that I had thought about being/still do consider, I was again, put off by the huge educational commitment, maybe even more so than for a teacher, if you were to specialize. I myself, would want to deal with children, as I've always found I get on well with them (I did a short placement in a nursery and the kids loved me, and I have an overwhelming urge to keep them safe). But, this is a better option in my mind than being a teacher. Reasons being because; you can do pretty relevant degrees to this with the Open University, so you can do it in your own time, from home, and still get a student loan for it. Once you are qualified, your hours are more flexible than being a teacher, I think. In terms of pay, this is probably the best, especially if you specialize in something. And the people you would see would probably be like minded, just in a less creative way to the graphic designers! However, being a shrink, everyone you know will constantly think you're just trying to analyse them! It's odd that you are considering, really, the only things that I ever considered! Good luck in whatever you choose, -Willow

I struggled as a teen because I felt like I was waiting for everyone to catch up to me. But I think that was in terms of intelligence - in terms of maturity at that age, everyone was immature, but in a irresponsible way - ie. lets all get drunk, all the time, and wind up pregnant/getting someone pregnant. Whereas I was just sat at home reading or drawing, or watching movies. Now I'm 20, people are catching up and realising that they need to be adults now, with bills to pay etc. BUT, I am still very immature (child like) when I'm alone, or just with my partner (who is also Aspie, and can be very child like). But I'm aware enough now of what's expected of my age and I conform to it, and don't let the childish side of me out with the wrong people. I think I developed a different version of myself to be, depending on who I am with. Which, because I am usually always with my partner, and then someone else, he gets a little frustrated when I change to suit whoever we're with, I think it must be some kind of coping mechanism..

Hi everyone, I'm Willow, I have Aspergers and I'm 20. It's been about 3 years since I was here, I think. I haven't really done the 'forum' thing for a long time and for some reason I feel a little shy! How are you all? I suppose the last time I was here, I must have been struggling with school - they 'kicked' me out because I couldn't wear the uniform as it irritated me. Well, I managed to get a B in GCSE English and a GCSE Math, which isn't too bad I suppose! I did try and do A Levels, but I struggled with the social scene, again, and I found the work mind numbingly easy, so I decided it best to quit and not put myself through the stress of it all. I'm engaged to another Aspie, called Chris, who is also 20. He has a full time job, and we have a part time business which I run when it needs running, from home, which we set up ourselves. It's a design business, so websites, logo's etc. However, with Chris, as I say, working full time and also taking a degree, it's taken a bit of a back seat for now. I do do other things from home though and I am launching a site soon, so I keep busy I think that's about it... -Willow

I was achieveing A*'s before I left. I've contacted a lot of people about this matter and there really isn't a lot anyone can do. Especially now. My attendance is recorded as 100%, even though I'm not allowed into my classes.

@Kathryn The Post 16 is the only one in my town and it is separate to any school but my school is one of the main two that filter into it. So essentially yes it is the same school. @JsMum It was the only reason I'm afraid, we got solicitors involved on the matter and nothing was resolved and so they said I couldn't go anymore. I'm still registered at the school in a way, they just don't allow me to come in. They're not providiong the support outside of school that they said they would either, yet they still claim I am a student, so they still get funding. There's really nothing I can do about it, believe me I tried. I managed to get a B grade English GCSE and I'm continuing my Art project at home without much in the way of support. And I am meant to be taking a Maths exam at some point on an entire module that they have failed to tutor me for. On the up side, if for some magical reason I manage to do well with the Art and Maths, they'll let me into Post 16. The only other reason that they essentially kicked me out is because I was two years behind and therefore out of age range and normal school student age. The old headteacher let me back in and we signed a contract etc, but when the new headteacher moved in I was mysteriously kicked out. Still illeagal I'm sure, but meh.

This made me laugh but I can't think of anything witty to put

How long was he ill for? Maybe he just slipped into a morning routine, instead of an 'ill routine'. I'm afraid, at 17, that I still drag my pillow and cover downstairs sometimes. Just makes me feel safer/warmer. Maybe you could get a throw for the living room and a nice cushion, that will look okay and not out of place if they are there permanently, and see if he will snuggle up in those instead of his bed things?

I've tried a couple of times to get poetry published, but to be honest, I've struggled because no one really accepts poetry anymore. I know it's not good advice or anything positive, but it will be difficult. Good luck though. One thing you could try is writing an actual book about your experiences and include your poetry? More chance of getting look at then

Hi everyone, I was on here a while ago but I didn't post that much, you probably don't remember me.. My name is Willow and I was having difficulty school. Erm, I also do a video blog on YouTube. Still don't remember? lol, nevermind. Anyway, just thought I'd pop back for a while. I did eventually get kicked out of school because of the uniform issues, not sure if I'd said that here before. But it's looking promising that I will get into Post 16 to do my A Levels They have lowered the base requirements for me so that I can still go. I also had that petition running for getting better help and support for students with hidden disabilities, but that's ended now. I got about 250 signatures I think, which was good going for some random teenager I guess! Still waiting for a reply on that though. Not sure what else to say really. Willow

Hiya, I'm Willow, the girl who started the petition It's brilliant that it's got round to so many people, many thanks for all the support and all the people that have signed! This petition is more relevant to me now more than ever as I have just been told I can't go to school anymore, for various reasons (that you can read about in my topic 'Sent Home On The First Day Of School'). Thanks again! Willow

Sorry about the short post I was upset. I can't continue in year 11 so I won't get my GCSE's. They offered me a place in sixth form next September to get some sort of GCSE equivalent so that they year after I can get A Levels at sixth form. In the mean time they said I can voluntarily work at the school so that I don't lose my routine completely. It's okay I guess. They've been reasonable and they are making a lot of exceptions. More so than they would have had to if they just let me wear the jumper. But...whatever. So. That's that. I'll now be 3 years behind.

Not allowed back in to school.

Hiya everyone, I have a meeting with the Head Teacher next Friday. I'm assuming it's bad news, probably. Or not just a simple 'Yes we're okay with the jumper now' because if it was they would have just phoned or emailed to say that so that I could be in on Monday. I've missed 3 weeks now, so by the time the meeting comes around it'll be a month. Good luck to me trying to catch up...*sarcasm* If they delay it anymore I don't know if I will be able to catch up as there are some real GCSE exams coming up in November. I feel like they are doing this on purpose now, as the only person who actually wanted me to come to the school and said yes was the Head Teacher who just left...coincidence: probably. But still. They are doing all they can to delay this further. Willow

Hiya, I know Mum just rang round all the people that were previously suggested on here and they all said that they would only be doing what the solicitor is doing so...it's really just up to him. I'm really considering phoning the local newspaper. I did write to my headteacher but he's not responded. Here's what I wrote: Dear [head teacher], I realise that we have never met and it must be quite annoying for you to have a solicitor emailing you about my situation with the school jumper. Please understand just how important this year is for me. I have never made it to year 11 before and believe me I have tried, twice. I missed a lot of work last term, and it is my understanding that some subjects began year 11 topics early; therefore I was already behind before I even started year 11. I have had some work sent to me to do at home, but I cannot do school work at home without having things fully explained to me in a classroom situation; that has always been the case, which is why I fall so behind wherever I am. The longer I am out of school, the harder it is going to be for me to return, I can't deal with it very well (for a vast number of reasons) on a daily basis anyway, and prolonged absence just makes me never want to go back; I start to forget my reasons for being there. Before I returned to school last September, I had been out of education for approximately two years and in that time I was passed between therapists and psychiatrists because no one knew what was wrong with me. I was told that I had had a nervous breakdown; I was told that I had a phobia of school and I was told that I was mentally ill. When I eventually got diagnosed with Autistic Spectrum Disorder and dyspraxia, everything made sense to me and I made the decision to go back to school to get my education. I had to fight for it, and I will always be thankful to [previous head teacher] for giving me this chance. I just don't want to see it go out of the window because of the colour of a jumper. I realise that you may not understand what the problem is with a colour, or even with the material. But please understand that to me, it is a very, very big problem, otherwise I wouldn't have got a solicitor involved. Me and my Mother tried to resolve this issue last term and were told to obtain a doctors note for the jumper, which I did. But still it is not acceptable. I cannot wear anything else other than the single black jumper that I have been wearing for the majority of the past year. You could find me a burgundy jumper that was of all the right materials, but I still wouldn't be able to wear it, purely because I have been used to wearing the black one. As stupid as it sounds, that is the truth. I realise that the black jumper stands out from the rest, but it is only for one school year and then I will be gone. I got a school polo shirt professionally fitted to my shape so that it wouldn't be baggy and irritate me, but I still had a panic attack before I got out the door because it's just not what I wear to school. This is literally my last chance at getting my GCSE's in a school environment, and I don't want to get them at college because I feel I need to complete school. I was always bullied and had to leave, and this time round that isn't happening to me, and I thought I would be able to finish for once. I am missing far too much work to be able to catch up on and I fear that soon the workload will be too much for me to cope with. If I felt that I could compromise, I would, I have bought two jumpers that are almost burgundy (they are actually closer to purple in colour and one of them was an inappropriate style for school), but they have irritated me in one way or another and I have had to get rid of them, because wearing them only results in more panic attacks. I am sorry that I can't put my feelings in words very well, but you must understand how deeply upset and extremely stressed I am that I cannot be in school and I ask you to reconsider your decision about not letting me wear my black jumper. Yours sincerely, Willow Marsden

Hiya, I just gave my Mum a huge list of telephone numbers to work through, all for people/organisations that might be able to help the situation a bit. I'll let you know how that goes. Finger's crossed! Willow

Thank you for all of your ideas, I will make sure we put most of those things into action! We've never had to deal with anything like this before so thanks for the help. xx PS. The student support (SENCO) at my school told me that I shouldn't have any issues with clothing...

Hiya, no, they asked me to get that over the summer holidays, which I did, and when I went in on the first day and gave it them they said it wasn't good enough. Hence the huge catastrophe and solicitors etc

Hiya, Tthank you so much for your support and for looking for jumpers for me. The first one you suggested is pretty much the right colour but I highly doubt that the school would accept the style. They have clearly stated that it needs to be a v-neck jumper. The jumper from 'Landsend' would probably be my best bet. It is a tad bright, but the cardigan from the same range looks darker, so if that was a more accurate portrayal of the colour, it would be okay. It isn't a material I have worn before, so it would be a risk buying it. I have just emailed my headteacher, so I'll see what he says to that. Fed up of people talking on my behalf, so I thought a personal email might help. Or not! Willow

Thank you for sticking up for me. I did say why I couldn't go to college when I replied earlier.

No not everything is that mix. Yes I will look for others. Sorry, just can't really be bothered with this anymore, you don't know the ins and outs of my life, and I think it's difficult to comment on things when you don't know the whole story, especially the way you seem to be commenting. Apologies if I've taken it the wrong way. Sorry I bothered any one. I just don't have the energy to be challenged on this forum about everything I say. xx