matzoball

Sleep patterns are directly linked to mental health. With everything that is going on right now it is not surprising your sleep pattern has been affected. You should write this down in your diary.

Well since you are aware of this issue Smiley, why don't you try and push past the feeling so that you can get help? The nurse is there to help you. The social worker is there to help you. You wouldn't have been referred if you didn't need it. You have a great opportunity to finally sort all of this out so keep reminding yourself you are worth it. They don't see you as a burden, they see you as someone who genuinely needs help. The more they help you, you will feel better about yourself.

Sorry for merging them - won't be doing that again.

You're quite sensitive right now understandably because of everything that is going on - so when people are firm with you, it seems like they don't get where you are coming from and hate you. If someone hated you, they wouldn't give you any constructive criticism to try and help you. You're recognising that this is coming from your insecurity and anxiety issues - now that you are doing something about it you may find that these kind of thoughts will get less and less frequent.

Smiley I have merged your posts as you posted three times in 5 minutes - made more sense to have it all in the one post

Smiley - never mind that just now. You need to focus on what the mental health nurse and the social worker are telling you to do.

I think you have answered your own issue - perhaps all the change at the office, combined with the holiday period has overloaded you. You need a rest.

Being that he has an ASD, he is more than likely unaware of how he is coming across to you. If he doesn't like couples therapy, perhaps something simpler like sitting down one to one and telling him how he is making you feel, and what you feel he could do to remedy this. If you do it with a positive slant like 'i love you, but when you do this, it makes me feel like this - i think we would get on better if we tried this?' something along those lines.

Refer to the post about your mood diary.

Merry, while I completely get where you are coming from in regards to self sufficiency(which should be Smileys overall goal), right now Smiley is a bit far from that. She needs to start trusting the mental health team a bit more so they can help her, not moving away from them. Smiley - keep doing your mood diary. Right now everything is relevant - so even if you told the nurse you weren't abused, write that down in the diary. When you told her you didn't drinkl - write that down in the diary too. Write down why you felt you couldn't say it to her face. You have to stop holding back from the people who are actual professionals who can help you properly. Most importantly start taking your new medication. It will not start having an effect on you for a couple of weeks so don't worry if you don't start feeling better right away. They have told you to start taking it so please do it. You are scared in case a crisis starts again - well the last crisis happened because you stopped taking the medication. So kick yourself up the butt. You know what you need to do now, you just have to start doing it. We all are here for you, but I personally will keep kicking you up the butt if I think you are slacking off. Now is the time for guts, and gumption. You have loads missy. xxx

I have always had pets - guinea pigs, mice, rats, gerbils, hamsters, turtles, fish, birds. At the moment I have a fat lump of a british blue called Spudball(was Smokey), and a wee female budgie called Beaks - both very affectionate and fun

It might be better to post this is General Discussion, as people don't really use this part of the forum as much.

I've been asked to be a moderator, but I can't commit to anything at the moment and run the risk of letting people down.

What's weird is the presentation topics I've been given to choose from have nothing to do with software testing! I think it's more to show my reasoning and style etc. But that makes things a lot easier for me Thanks - and i'll let you all know how I get on next week!

http://flappinessis.com/a-syllogism-some-autistic-people-really-are-jerks/ Really good article about the same sort of thing by a mother of a child on the spectrum. To me, just because we are autistic doesn't automatically mean we are all angels. We should all strive to be good people, it doesn't mean we all do.

I have been working as self employed for a month now, but haven't enjoyed the transient nature of it. I just got an interview with Hewlett Packard! They know I am on the spectrum, as their HR person contacted me after seeing my CV online - they said a lot of their testers have an ASD so they are confident that I will be able to do the job (if I pass the interview stage!). I have to do a 10 minute presentation, so that's a bit daunting. But I know I just need a red bull haha Don't mean to sound boastful, just surprised and happy!

I certainly think you need a lot more support than you are getting Suze x

Sa Skimrande - this issue was actually resolved. However I will address what you have said. I mentioned that I started the thread to remind people that I was the original poster, and the point of the original post. Not to lay ownership to it. The only people that own anything on here are the people who actually own the forum. Although I misread Oakers post, and subsequently apologised for the misunderstanding (which you have failed to mention) - at the time I felt I needed to clarify my feelings behind what I thought Oakers was talking about. Again - it was cleared up. I mentioned that I had been a member of the forum for a long time simply to illustrate that just by evidence alone (since a lot of people go into past posts etc) it was not in my nature to tell people what to do, unless invited to give advice. Not to pull some conceived rank. I never have and never will, and resent that implication. I hate cliques, and cronyism. I was bullied for the majority of my life so I definitely would never dream of making anyone feel like I was made to feel. I know there is a lot of issue with a thread where a bunch of older members and moderators engaged in the behaviour you are talking about - I wasn't one of them. So I ask you please not to lump me in with that. ASD is crossed wires and you are very right in that given time people can unravel them. However I will take the time to address issues if I feel I am being addressed directly as you have addressed me. I hope you can see I am doing that with the greatest of respect, and not in an antagonistic way.

No worries - wasn't taking it personally!

I think everyones emotions are still a bit raw over what's been happening. I am a great believer in open and frank discussion, but I also believe there needs to be a point where a line is drawn under it and we start getting more positive and supportive again. Otherwise it becomes counter productive and things stagnate again. That's just my opinion, not going to force it down anyones throat! If people still need to vent it's not my place to tell them they can't. Suze - sorry! I'm not arguing with anyone - just a bit of crossed wires I think(I hope!).

Glad your sister is home Special, I hope she feels better soon. I know that with you as a sister she will be well supported and cared for. Just make sure someone is caring for you xx

What you said to me, came off as antagonistic. If you didn't mean it to be then I apologise for taking it the wrong way. However just as you feel I shouldn't be telling people what to do(which I honestly wasn't), I felt that you were in turn telling me what to do and assuming my reasoning behind what you thought I was doing. That rubbed me the wrong way. I think this is going a bit wrong - can we both forget it and go back to discussing what I was originally talking about please?

Oakers - this is my thread. I started it so people could discuss what is going on and get it out of their systems. I am not telling people what to do, I am making a suggestion. If they still want to talk about it as you seem to, then by all means have at it. Please don't be rude to me, I have been a member here for a long time and those that do actually know me know I don't tell people what to do because quite frankly it's not my place to. You are being a bit aggressive.

How about no one names names, accepts people have been upset but now we are all trying to move past this positively?

How about we stop focussing on cliques, and concentrate on making this place what we want it to be?