matzoball

adult with Aspergers, aunt to nephew with autism - girlfriend of idiot boyfriend who may possibly be aspie too(is obssessed with basketball because finals are on and is currently ignoring me yes i know you can see me typing this over my shoulder adam)

re-reading the handmaidens tale by margaret atwood

it is actually such a relief to read this - i have to put on a 'sociable' act around the people i work with and generally everyone i come into contact with because i don't want them to think i am different, which would make them treat me differently! it's so tiring! i thought i was the only one! i think the male support worker should have been liasing with your female one a lot more and then maybe he would not have been so shocked when you finally told people how you felt! then again i have been told that us women often expect men to be psychic - what's wrong with that? hahaha

these are all really really great tips! actually a little worried i didn't think of any of this stuff before! thanks

that's what i call organisation!

i really like the visual timetable idea! i'll be doing that tonight i think it might be good to talk about beta blockers with my gp as well - never thought about that! i have a wee chococat organiser with all my berlin stuff in it like yours - will be adding the timetable to it as well hehe adam is my home thing - he's like a massive bearded teddy bear hahaha thanks for the great suggestions mumble - if i come up with stuff when i am over there i will take some notes and mail you with them if you haven't gone on your trips! where are you off to if you don't mind me asking?

dad was in the army, so i travelled a lot as a child - the last place i lived was Berlin when i was 8 just before the wall came down. boyfriend has persuaded me to go back as he has never been abroad before and loves all the stories my dad and i tell him about when we lived there. there is a big concert on the saturday that we will be there and goes on from 1 in the afternoon til dawn called the e-tropolis festival. i've bought really strong earplugs for that and made sure i know where all the exits and beer halls are!- and it've told him not to leave my side! i have been fine since we made the decision in november to go at the end of june - three weeks from now. but since i paid the flights 2 days ago i have started to get more and more stressed. he's left all the planning to me like he did when we went to london when i was on the plinth. he only wants to turn up at the airport and carry the bags - his words. i am so stressed worrying about everything like making the plane on time and how we are going to travel from the airport to the hotel without getting lost not to mention the fact that we are going to something which usually would have me running for the hills due to the loud music(industrial ebm) and possible huge amounts of people attending. have spoken to him and the mother who always has to get her bit in and i've been told i am being too sensitive. again. it's ruined the whole trip for me and i haven't even gone yet! i haven't travelled so far away in such a long time and i remember how much i hated it when i was little. do any of you have any tips for travelling?

just an update: took original report with me to last visit, and the doctor said she wasn't going to look at it until she had made her own report. i had my final visit today and got a formal dx of aspergers (again) - she then told me she didn't look at the other report as it wasn't going to make a difference which i suppose is true, but why tell me she thought i was HFA? there's a distinct difference between the two...

wonderful, just wonderful. and they used my favourite band Bon Iver for some of the music when Reggie was visiting the peformers beforehand - awesome! oh and Daffid explained Autism the same way i do - apple macs and windows brilliant

that's awesome congratulations!

done!

if you have the budget Alienware ones are awesome But zenemu is right Acer and Asus are really reasonable and their customer service is great. Samsung ones are also pretty good - i got one for 350 through my work and it's really fast and handles me playing the sims and studying for german

i never differentiated between diagnosed and un-diagnosed autistics however (only from what i have seen on the forum, not to say you haven't said it in the past) you never mentioned you have had remote diagnosis. From what I have see you seem to regard yourself as NT and only refer to your family's ASD - again only from what I have read. I am probably wrong. from what i have read, i get the impression that you seem to have a problem with my diagnosis being so late on in life and the fact that i can't handle it 24/7 as you seem to be able to. Do you realise how hard it was at my age to go to a gp and say 'i think i am autistic', fight for referral, go through many assessment appointments and hear some pretty disturbing things about what i was like as a child(including almost killing another child), get a dx, then nearly a year later just because i changed gp's get referred again and have to go through the same process and get another dx? then on top of all that have to deal with being bullied at work, losing a best friend because she doesn't think adults can get diagnosed(her having no knowledge of autism at all), not being able to go into a single starbucks in glasgow because that so called best friend has told all her workmates that i am faking an disability? i have had to contstantly defend myself or prove that i am autistic because i got diagnosed at 32 years old. so on the rare occasions i reach out, i really shouldn't have to feel i need to defend myself when all i am looking for is help and people who accept me.

i do understand that posts can often turn into a completely different discussion - and i didn't take offence over that. i am on forums on other topics (non asd related) so it's nothing new to me. i also acknowledged that i did find some posts really useful and was grateful to get them. it wasn't a case of seeking something that suited me - it was just needing advice which i did get. what got to me was yet again i had to defend myself over my late dx, and that i am using it as a reason to backslide, then over the words i used. it's just becoming more and more upsetting to me. maybe i am being oversensitive i don't know. but i'm not perfect and i can't handle things the way someone who is NT can. i'm not using my asd as an excuse all of a sudden as to why i can't handle things as well as others but really if i am to dismiss my autism alltogether when it comes to problems that i have that are directly related to it - what is the point of even reaching out to people who are supposed to understand then? i have achieved a lot over my life, and handled a lot on my own because i have had no one to help me. and most of this was before my dx. since then i have acheived even more because it gave me that little bit of confidence i needed. but this is the same for people with or without asd - sometimes there are things a person just can't handle on their own and sometimes they need someone to help or talk to. this place is actually the only place i reach out to people with my problems and somehow some people feel that makes me less valid as an autistic for doing so.

i understand that everyone is having a different take on what the correct terminology is - i used 'meltdown' because that's the word i have always used when describing it to other people because no one understands 'ackie peevie' which is the name i give it. you have to understand that i come from a background where i have not spent a lot of time with my family(army boarding school til i was nearly 15, father who was always working, mother who was alway working), or have had many friends so by the time i actually decided to go for a dx i had developed a lot of masking behaviours and the coping mechanisms(some lacking as per this post) that i have now. it doesn't mean i am suddenly using my dx as a crutch, it means i have always felt like this but now i have a name for what i feel and now i know i have people i can reach out to if i feel i need help. i get after several of the replies that it may be offensive to other people on this forum, so i won't use it anymore. all i wanted was some genuinely helpful feedback because i feel i need help - i did get that from a few people which i appreciate and am now looking into. but i seem to be getting constantly criticized(not just in this thread) because i don't use the right words, or don't have the same experiences as other people. i'm not in the habit of giving out the minutae of all the feelings or lackthereof that i have, of the stuff i go through everyday just to try and get through the day - i really shouldn't have to. i thought that this forum would give me the chance to talk to people like me and feel accepted for once which i did when i first joined. i really don't feel like that anymore.

Hi Sheila i watched this instead of the other big thing on tv and i thought you all came across really well! jimmy has such an amazing talent and will make a tremendous ballet dancer! george is a great kid and i hope he finds his passion soon - he's definitely got as much passion in him as his twin! wish alex luck for his exams - and he has great taste in music (saw the lamb of god t shirt on the show haha)! hope the party went well! jx

even before the dx i have always been reserved so when i lose or have lost it i feel bad immediately to the point i torture myself over it for days sometimes, and i apologise pretty much straight away regardless of what the situation has been or whether it has been my fault or not. my family have never been understanding of me so i ended up taking myself up to my room away from things or out of the house altogether as they saw any outburst as me being a drama queen and still do. since then i have stuck with that behaviour because that way no one gets to see it and no one gets to judge me or make me feel self concious bar the occasional time like saturday. i can't expect everyone to be tolerant of my behaviour but i know that there may be more situations like this that i can't control and i guess that is what i am having problems with.

usually i tend to leave wherever i am as quickly as possible, go somewhere quiet and let it happen on my own. that's what i do if that counts as a coping mechanism. i've mentioned this before on the forum. i have also had occupational therapy to help combat panic attacks and anxiety in the past when i became agoraphobic so i do try these things. but there are occasions where i am so worked up it simply doesn't work. saturday night i couldn't leave and couldn't do what i usually do and ended up having a really bad one in front of my bf, his friend, and his mother. they expected me just to switch it off because it made them uncomfortable(their words). i was then told i was too sensitive because i was getting really upset over something that didn't matter. this is the first real relationship i have ever been in and i'm not used to having to explain myself or let people in to the point where they see all my behaviours. i'm not sure what you are trying to infer since you have said this is all unusual.

i managed to get the original dx report, and am going to take it in to the appointment this thursday

i've never been able to manage them. that's why i was asking.

Saturday night I moved tickets that were pinned to bf's wall to put them in a clip that would make it more tidy. Bf immediately goes in bad mood, and then I spilt beer which I started panicking about because it made a mess etc. Bf's friend started making a big deal of it which made me worse. Bf then stopped talking to me so i went to leave. BF's mother stopped me from leaving as she said i was over-reacting and I ended up having a meltdown in front of everyone. Things did calm down later that night and bf's friend went home - things were fine after that and BF laughed that we both got so worked up over something so stupid as tickets. Got to work this morning and bf's friend emailed me giving me a hard time for making the night awkward for him even though he made the situation more tense than it would have been otherwise. So my questions is really for the adults on the spectrum on this forum - how do you manage your meltdowns if you have them?

http://www.hartleysboys.com/2010/04/interv...lor-morris.html i previously posted in a thread about her, in her defence as i felt anyone raising awareness should be praised. however after reading this blog, i find myself agreeing with baddad in that this really smacks of the mother rather than the daughter... i don't doubt that Taylor is intelligent and can express herself, but the way she answers her questions is very similar to the writing style of her mums business website. hmm.

Hi I'm 33 this year and work as an admin at a telecoms company. I make sure my employers know the best way I respond to instructions(written) and also try maintain a routine everyday as I tend to have meltdowns a lot - to stop this from happening I make process flows for myself(i sit down with my manager and he now tries to help me integrate the non yes/no problems with fixed questions i can ask) - I have a lot of contact with Prospects (part of the NAS), and they are very helpful in helping people integrate into the workplace, get interviews, educating employers etc. They may be able to help you find a new job. hope this helps!