baranigirl

thanks for that interesting discussion, Justine you have kind of explained how DP's family have taken on board his situation and they all believed there was only 'classic or LFA' (much better terminology thank you Trekster) and his sister is a special needs teacher! Am finding out more and more daily by coming on here and even though I was fairly clued up on somethings, I am clueless on others, because I didn't deal with it, however I have spotted 2 kids in my classes now both with AS and their parents have confirmed it since, so I guess I am also understanding more too.

ahh that makes sense as I always believed the poverty line was something along the lines of not affording basic needs and when I googled it and came up with above figures it made no sense!

DP's parents could never get him out of bed as a teen, as a working adult he has always managed to get himself out of bed, but he is often 'not well' I guess with age they accept they 'have' to do somethings maybe?

I googled it and apparently for a family like mine once the mortgage, gas, electricity, water and council tax are paid we should have around £350 a week to live off I did chuckle as we have £250 for the entire month this month!

sorry I know the wording was wrong, but I didn't know how else to describe the children I have worked with

DP had no help with his breakdown either aside from being shoved on Anti depressants He is a lot like Smiley is saying, but it does have a knock on effect to everyone around you for sure. DP is much better at the moment, but we are coming into the summer months and he is always better then Mental health care is awful round here, even his GP has said the same, so nothing we can do here aside from sitting and waiting (and yes DP often has suicidal thoughts) Sorry have no additional thought on what you should do as DP is pretty much in the same boat, but with me and his mum doing the propping Keep on talking tis a good way to get things out

love that track!

She doesn't slur her speech, it is clear but she is timid to speak to anyone except family who can't shut her up, at nursery she is a selective mute. It just seems as though she is oblivious to anyone elses needs around her, yes fairly normal to a 4 yr old, but it is different I forgot to mention her toileting habits have been awful, she never had a solid BM until she was 2.5 yet the HV said it was normal (have now realised she was probably milk protein intollerant like my son is) she has only recently become dry suring the day and does not understand how pull ups work at night, so she will fill them overnight with another BM (during the days she has several) and sleeps in it complaining in the morning she is sore.

thank you all so potentially someone can have several disorders or traits, yet never be diagnosed with anything as nothing is that 'bad'? DD3 was late in speaking, but at about 2.5yrs it all clicked into place, although she still has trouble with he/she and correct pronounciation, she cannot say the letter R (she says W) or V (B ) She has daily meltdowns over the most trivial of things (like I refused her a cake cos she didn't eat dinner and she was still on about it 45 minutes later) and never wants to do anything we ask of her, or understand when I say no to food I mean no! Today she went on all day about being hungry and needing food, she ate 2 breakfasts (adult portions of oatibix) then an apple, then grapes and apples from Boots in a little bag, then 3 biscuits at toddler group, followed by lunch of a slice of toast with honey 2 yogurts and a bowl of jelly, bag of sweets after all this she was still starving! This is all day everyday and she eats like this and more every day yet is skinny as a rake yet she loves role play and is getting better with socail interaction on a one to one or two basis, she still hates too much hub-bub

thanks Justine, thats kinda how I feel about DD3, she is soooooo different to her siblings, although the older 2 have a different father, until we had her brother I thought it was just because she had a different Dad, but her brother is so like the older 2 in behaviours, she really sticks out to me and her Dad and I have parented them all the same (right or wrong hehe)

totally relate I am losing my mind, am holding my family together in our time of trouble and feel like I am living on the edge As an NT adult I just accept my lot for now, I chose to stay with my partner during his breakdowns and now he is past the worst of them I cannot dump and run, even though its my gut instict to do that because I would be being selfish. We will get through this stage, hopefully I will have my health still in tact at the end of it. I am considering speaking to my GP about Anti D's, but I know the real issue is I need to be able to speak to people about what we are going through and tbh because I am so focussed on working to provide for my family and ensuring they are all ok, happy and well fed, I am suffering, my friends are being pushed away as I don't have the time for them like I should. Am very miserable right now, but have nothing to look forward to as we have nothing to put into doing anything, even the fuel to get somewhere like the beach for an afternoon, can't talk to DP either as he has no idea about the finances, he doesn't understand them, they are left for me to worry over as well as everything else! Sorry to ramble, but it flowed and I think it needed to come out xxx

The difference between HFA (High Functioning Autism) and AS (Asperger Syndrome) Plus explain what PDD-NOS is and a few other terms batted about on here I am forgetting now OCD I understand and I realise this goes hand in hand with being on the spectrum too, but as ever not in every case! I understand Autism in the 'worst' scenario as I have often worked with children with ASD, but what exactly is HFA? Hope I am not being rude asking, but have read a few posts and I 'know' my 4 yr old is not 'fitting' in as she should for her age group, I don't want to label her, but I would like to speak to the school in September about issues she has when she starts to ensure she gets a happy life at school regardless of whther she does has a problem or not iyswim As I have often said her father (my DP) is awaiting psych referral for AS, but who knows when that will be or what the outcome!

thanks that is interesting where is the poverty line nowadays?

Are you buying his food? If so why don't you all try going DF and lower the amount of dairy in the house for a few weeks, if this makes a difference he may agree to see the GP, but tbh if he doesn't want to go there is sod all you can do xx

well done on getting somewhere and I hope it helps you all xx

My word 4 hours! I thought it bad DD3 was going on and on about a cake for 45 minutes incessantly even though she was continually told no because she didn't eat her dinner (this is a daily thing with food for her) She too take hours to go to bed and is always an emotional rollercoaster, difinuitely agree with the pick your battles thing, however DP cannot do that with her, he can't cope with giving in and she can't cope with him saying she has to do something she doesn't want to Me well I am in the middle, so I go to work for some peace!

That is exactly what DP would do / say too xx

omg that is my 4yr old! She avoids doing anything and strops / mood swings abnormally for her age group, and is very obssessive about other peoples belongings! She was very slow to talk and then all of a sudden at nearly 3 the words came tumbling out like a fountain And a lot of her dad, although he can't do the role play thing! Ask him to do something and he won't do it til 'he is ready' drives me batty!

DP was on citrolpram for anxiety issues last year, but they did nothing for him really and the GP changed him after 10 minths to something else, when he decided to send him for a psych referral he was told to come off the meds completely so he was 'clean' at the assessment / referral which we are still waiting for 6 months later...

thats my problem too I can't not work it doesn't feel right!

oh dear not a good start, hope the appointment is more successful xx

which party is gonna sort out the benefits system? meaning a fmily like mine where both parents work full time are actually better off rather than as we are currently worse off than a family who live off the state and I am not having a go at people just the system

are you taking laxitives? They will mess up your natural system and cause those problems If its not that then IBS xx

deffo speak to ACAS I spoke to them when my company were giving me grief through my last pregnancy and I printed off loads of law stuff, went in armed witha 1/4 inch of papers and told them to read the law or else deal with the fact I was on crutches during pregnancy due to a pregnancy related condition and the only thing they could do about it was put me on full pay with medical suspension til my maternity leave kicked in Their faces were a picture, had NO GRIEF after that in the slightest, funnily enough I was allowed to continue in my role too (they should have risk assessed me and given me an alternative role, but as long as I was left alone it was fine) The only issue I had after that was a customer complaining I wasn't demonstrating skills to her child on the trampoline errr hello I am 8 months pregnant and walking with sticks - what an idiot she was! Stand up to the bullies xxx

apparently not according to the assessor, so he will lose his mobility car soon as well