baranigirl

my word I would have been knackered after swimming and then going to town as well! No wonder you were knackered! Maybe try to pace one thing a day rather than 2 things and see how you go, although I know with ME you can have really bad days / weeks with no notice Oh and try to ignore your Mum, hard as it is she probs just does not understand xx

very useful thread this one, thank you for this!

I see why you were frustrated, TBH I would not have worried about it myself. As someone said a freudian slip. I am often asked if my Mum is in when I answer the phone, I usually reply with something along the lines of she lives 6000 miles away if you really want to call her I can get you the number.

Exactly, T/O for a toddler is different in expectations to an 11 yr old indeed especially a very hormonal one! DD2 gets sent out to the porch as there is less for her to kick or hit than at the bottom of the stairs TBH I would put Ben's friend into time out as well if he was also misbehaving (you could have 2 different spots hehe), your house your rules and kids soon learn what is and isn't acceptable (well hopefully)

I kind of agree, but with DD3 it was never anywhere close to the vicinity, hence the reason for buying the pad as well as me forgetting how long she had been out there! DD2 still has time out at 11 years old when she is beyond things and it certainly works for her, but I do have to try and remember she is in time out as the pad doesn't do 11 mins

we have a time out pad http://www.amazon.co.uk/Gro-Company-Time-O...d/dp/B000T5PQL4 fantastic invention as I am terrible at forgetting I out them there! DS used it for the first time last week and was completely bemused by the experience, needless to say his 2 mins actually took 20 to get him to stay put for long enough! He has been good ever since

What she said, for some reason the provision for over 8's change and you can still get the funding for TC to pay. I would imagine uni funding is similar

Ask the older 2 boys independently what they want and follow their wishes for a while, sounds like you have got good grounds to remove him from your lives and a lot of what you have posted makes a more sense now! Don't let him beat you down, he has no hold over you anymore <'>

can only go on my experiences with my ex (who sounds VERY similar) and the girls see him regularly, always have done and probably will do until they are 94! However he has said nasty things to them about me and interrogeted them as well. I just ignored it all and EVENTUALLY he stopped. 2 yrs ago my then nearly 9 year old told me she wanted to live with her father, I knew this wasn't her talking, you know what I mean and it went on for several months. In the end I stood her on the doorstep (her father isn't allowed over it) and asked her outright where she wanted to live and she said with mum. It all stopped overnight as if it had never happened! We have been separated for about 10 years now (I forget how long exactly) and the first 8 years were a blimming nightmare, my solicitor at the early stages said I could not prevent him seeing the girls unless he was causing them physical or emotional harm that could be proven in a court of law It is obvious there is mental stress being inflicted on the boys as a way of getting back at you for leaving (my ex cheated and left me but still couldn't let go cos I kept the house) but proving it is a totally different ball game Really hope he can see what he is doing to his kids and in the future they see him for the idiot he is (which my girls have, but they see him through their own sense of duty) big hugs <'> ><

we also buy the Pure sunflower and I am gutted to see Sbury have stopped stocking it at the soya is yuk! No idea about gluten in vitalite, but I was surprised to find out a few weeks back it was DF, we may well switch to that instead

my son has oat milk if we are out and about and I cannot make him up his script powdered milk, I have rarely got the soya milk for him, he cannot have goats milk or anything like that

And he feels there is some cause for concern, therefore he is referring her to the local hospital paed dept to see the consultant there who specialises in ASD / AS etc. Now it's a case of wait and see what happens and whether there is anything to worry about

my mind wasn't thinking of a vaulting horse

yaaaaaaay to a new jump jumpoleeeeene and landing on your head only consists of half a rotation!

answering the door to DP's grandparents!! Once they had inspected the room divide we are doing and judged that satifactory to their level they disappeared. Me well I was still hanging free in my PJ's and in the garden putting out the washing at 11.30am Gnat wine sounds really yummy!

Hiya There are a lot of similarities I can see with your 3yr old and my now 4 yr old and how she was at 3yrs old, she had delayed speech (30months) yet once she opened her mouth it all fell out in sentences just as you have described, she can also repeat a story back but has no letter or number recognition. Tantrums are huge for very small things usually if a transition from one thing to another is without warning. She was not delayed at walking (9½ months), she can do 100 piece puzzles without assistance and also directed me to a house she had visited once before a few months earlier that I had not ever visited. She still parallel plays and her speech interaction is improving, but she is often on a different tangent when being asked a direct question, yes she is extremely stubborn too, there are loads of other points but I don't want to hike your thread. I have an appointment this week with the GP to discuss my concerns and whether he feels there is any further assessment needed. Nursery have started to pick up on some of the above although she has been a selective mute there for 2 years! She is finally beginning to converse with them there instead of poiting at what she wants / needs So indeed take him to the paed and go from there, it may just be him being 3, but there may be something else, we have always said DD3 is different since she was born but we could be way off track with her and the GP says she is fine Good luck

my first pregnancy I ate lots of everything, put on 4 stone in the process too. My second pregnancy I had hypergravisis and was violently sick for the entire 9 months and by the end was eating very little as once something had come up again I didn't dare to try and eat it again! Lost 2½ stone whilst pregnant Third pregnancy I ate lots of grapes and DD3 does love her fruit, but I do not see that as a link, she just craves fruit! Must have eaten the right things as I only gained 10lb this time, but I was dealing with a terrible bereavement as well so could have been linked there Fourth and fifth pregnancy did not make it Sixth pregnancy and I ate a lot of onion, not in a craving fashion, but just cos I liked them, DS is allergic to onion, garlic and celery, is there a link? I dunno but I doubt it, I too now react to eating raw onion so maybe I just over indulged, on a positive note I gained 7lb in that pregnancy The healthiest of my 4 kids is DD2, the only one who was never breastfed or shown any signs of food allergy / intolerances. Maybe she got lucky, maybe she got more of her father's genes than her older sister. Who knows! What I do know is they are all different for many reasons and I do not even consider what I ate whilst carrying them to have any affect on who they are

sounds just like my 2 NT DD! DD1 refused to go to her prom this year full stop cos it was full of kids from her school she said, didn't want to wear a dress etc. it's only since refusing to attend this she has got a little better with her clothes, but then I live in joggers and polo's. I rarely go out and what to wear is always very stressful. Clothes just don't like me at any size (I have varied from a size 8 to a size 18 over the years) DD2 lives in a footie shirt which I have to prise off her for a wash and trackies with holes in them! At 14 I gave DD1 £50 to go to town with her fashion conscious mate to buy clothes and she came home and gave me the £50 back! Stressed her mate right out! All I am saying is don't worry about it, shorts are not nice things to wear at 14 as you consider yourself enormous regardless of how small you actually are etc. Let her wear the jeans and tops in Aussie, its not gonna hurt anybody is it? As for the work clothes, well I am selling DD1 work experience clothes she chose on Ebay as Brand New with Tags as she never wore them to that and made do with what she felt comfy in.

my 11 yr old adores lego! she got a netbook for her 11th birthday so she can use it for secondary school and she contributed about 70% of the value as well cos we told rellys thats what she was getting and could they help her pay towards it, so they gave her money. She will get a new phone for xmas as the one she has is really rubbish, but was a great starter phone, she has had it 15 months and still not used the initial £10 credit put on it, that will change in september All she ever asks for is total tut, which I refuse to buy so she gets a few Dr who bits, lego and then the phone last year and netbook this year, will be stuffed for her 12th lol

thanks Sally, that does sound like DP, he 'forgets' to tell me stuff and is then really agitated when I don't know about it and he is convinced he has told me, yes I do forget some things, but not that many, he struggles to recall stuff I tell him, but I guess that could be information overload as I do tend to spout at him cos our paths are constantly crossing we rarely sit down to talk things through effectively. With planning a meal, yes it is the organisation and timing of it all, he can do a stir fry, but thats just chucking it all in one pan, nothing to it, but thats pretty much all he can cope with! He really couldn't see why I asked him to see his GP about the claim but now it has been refused and we have got some confusion over his latest referal he has booked an appointment with his GP and asked me to attend with him, fingers crossed we can cover that all in one appointment! I will also speak to his mum and see if she can recall more stuff about his childhood, I know he had an irrational fear of wheels to the point of obsession if that is possible? My SIL has had her claim for DLA refused as well and my nephew is bouncing off the walls unless he is drugged up with his ADHD, she says she thinks the school wrote and said he was fine, but then he is always dosed up when in school so causes no bother. Do understand they don't want to be paying it out willy nilly, which is why I will drop the claim if they feel his needs aren't great enough, but it's getting the correct information across I am struggling with I guess

watched it and felt the same as you Kathryn

I would take her to the NHM I love the dinosaurs there! Whatever you do have fun and enjoy yourselves

thank you all that is very helpful and explains stuff so much better He has never claimed DLA before as we never knew we could, I assumed it was only for people who have physical disabilities like my ex BIL who lost a leg in an accident iyswim DP never goes to the GP I have been with him 10 years nearly and I can count on one hand the number of visits he has made in that period, he just plain refuses to make an appointment and when he does he believes he has something terminal as in a chest infection must be lung cancer cos the GP sent him for a routine chest X-ray He has never been able to plan a meal, before we lived together he lived with his sister who did the housework, paid the bills and made his meals and before that it was with his Dad who was retired early from ill health (back injury) and did the above for his son. He would live off of Take aways or microwave meals if I didn't do the shopping and prepare meals. This I have told the DLA people With regard to his panic attacks, he has seen 3 psychologists so far and is booked to see a fourth in a couple of weeks, tbh he has just had to get along and muddle through with his anxieties and panicking until recently and I assumed it was just part of him and ignored it I have learned a lot about him in the past 18 months and I am guilty of not helping him, but he never explained to me what the problem was, so things never got talked about as he didn't understand it either, it's so hard to explain by typing stuff. I have no idea what the GP wrote on his report as DP refused to go and discuss his claim with the GP, I have asked DWP for a copy of the report numerous times, but they have failed to forward it. Justine, he never sees the GP about his sleep patterns, I have argued with him LOADS about them as he never seems to get into a routine with them and often cat naps in the day which IMO wrecks his nights sleep, but he won't or can't see where I am coming from, even when he was on shifts I put together a sleeping routine for him and when he followed it he was pretty good with sleep, the moment he didn't follow it he would be awful all over again, up and down during the day or night etc. As an insomniac myself I do understand the importance of a good sleeping routine to encourage the brain to switch off at a similar time each day As I have said time and time again, if he doesn't qualify thats fine, I just cannot make head nor tail of the reasons behind it and some of your explanations have helped understand the processes. I have someone to help with getting the correct information now and will put in a final review and acceot the decision from that as final Thank you all for your help it really makes a difference to things much appreciated

i keep ringing and telling them the same thing over and over, not had help with anything to date, but got details now for peeps who can help, third review this was, but they still say the same as tho they don't read the replies / letters and reject it as soon as they see his name bit stressed about it lol have asked repeatedly for the gp report which they still haven't sent, not that there can be much in it as dp never visits!

Why can he not be involved in the planning too? Thats not nice leaving it all to you as it stresses you so much! I do all the planning for us as DP gets too stressed about it, yet he needs it to be planned! When he took DD3 to Ireland to visit his Dad in March I planned everything from booking the ferry to rebooking another ferry 8 hours before they were originally meant to leave as the original ferry got cancelled! Meant they had to leave 8 hours earlier than planned, but as everything else had been meticulously planned they had nothing to worry about except to get in the car and go to a different ferry port. Pack bags a few days before and write a list of things packed so you can tick them off when re packing to come home write a list of the last minute things that need to be packed and tick those off as you put them in your case on the morning print off details of numbers / adresses and contacts for all of the travel arrangements and people you might need to contact in an emergency get currency / travellers cheques ordered a week or so before you go unless you need Euros. they can be collected at a Post Office anytime. Check passports a few weeks before you leave for being in date etc. Fill up car with fuel night before and put bags in car ready to go or leave in the hallway to go in during the morning I didn't write him an agenda for this trip as he was building a garage with his Dad so he was busy all the time, but he was ill a few days into arriving and I am certain that was tied to the stress of the ferry being cancelled and the trip almost not happening