lizj

You won't necessarily lose the DLA when he reaches 16 either. At 16 he will be regarded as an adult, you have to re-apply for DLA in his own name rather than yours. It is his money, not yours, but you still claim it if he continues to have problems and care or mobility needs. And let's face it, people don't grow out of ASD overnight, do they? In theory, the DLA at 16+ goes into his bank account, but if you think he is not able to fill in the paperwork or deal with the money, you can ask to have it paid into your bank account, and everything continues just as it was before.

How disappointing for you both, you have my sympathies. These ASD teenagers do seem to have a "self destruct" button. My son is now 19, and we have yet to manage a school or college year without some kind of blow up resulting in suspension or worse. We are rapidly running out of educational options and he may soon be looking for his first job. I am dreading him starting work because I know I will spend all day, every day, waiting for "the call". But I also can't stand the thought of him hanging around the house dong nothing!

I would like to know if other students and parents agree with me that the granting of Adult Learning Grant for students aged 19+ in FE is discriminatory against people with learning disabilities? While EMA is paid to all students aged 16-18 with a low household income, ALG is only paid to students who are enrolled on a Level 2 or 3 course (so higher GCSE or A level). Students on Level 1 do not qualify. Surely this treats students of lower ability less favourably than those of "normal" intelligence? While I understand that funding is scarce these days, it seems wrong that some should qualify and others not, based entirely on academic ability. I am tempted to challenge this ruling, but I need to decide whether it is worth the time and effort embarking on yet another battle with the powers-that-be.

Hi, just to say there is some excellent advice from the two above posts. My son has had taxi transport for 10 years now, and I was anxious at first. But as his confidence grew, he was able to progress from a solo taxi with escort to a shared one with just a driver. Now he is best mates with every driver in the area! Everywhere we go someone seems to know him. The drivers and escorts have all been brilliant with him, they let him have music on and when he was younger they would play games with him to pass the journey. One of them even let him be the radio operator and take calls for them! Now he is ready to be an independent traveller, we will miss the daily taxi trip. Good luck with your son, I am sure he will be fine.

He's had a taxi for school and college for 7 years now, which has been great. But now he has sufficient independent skills to manage on public transport (we think). With regards to a pass, I think the rules vary from one council to another. At first he could get a pass because he had DLA. Then they tightened the rules. Now they only issue passes to people who are users of Social Services day care centres.

Just to add another experience, the same as the others happened with me. I was worried that they were coming to do some kind of interrogation, but it was very simple and straightforward. I don't think he even spoke to my son, except maybe to confirm his name and age. I signed a form and showed him ID. It was all over in 15 minutes and we have had no problems at all.

Oh My God, it makes the blood run cold to think that things are going to get even harder in the future. We could wallpaper a room with all the letters, reports, and complaints from the time we were trying to access decent Special Needs education. It took 5 years to get him into the right school. We weren't middle class parents with dogged determination, but we damn well are now. I remember the times I was physically sick with worry before meetings and assessments, and how many interviews and panels ended up with me in tears. Those who find ways to exploit, cheat and beat the system will continue to do so, by employing clever and expensive lawyers. It will be the poor ordinary families that will end up losing out, yet again.

Thanks everyone for your replies. I think I have got the answer from one of his older friends who is still at college at 21. He said that courses were free so long as they offer progression to a higher level, and it is the first time you have taken a course at that level. So he would be funded for a Level One, unless he already had a Level One in another subject. It was specifically tuition fees I didn't understand, and I already know about financial support on offer - he has had EMA for 3 years and should qualify for ALG if he does stay at college. We aim to keep him in education for as long as possible, as we don't hold out great hopes of him finding employment, and a life on benefits doesn't seem too attractive either. Now the next problem is the extortionate bus fares to get him there...

Thank you all, it seems that I was right about it being complicated! I think I am going to have to go and talk to a few people who might have the answers. His tutor tells me that the introduction of the new "Foundation Learning Tier" (shrug) will make a difference. and also that the Government were planning to restrict FE spending to three years per student. She did not know if this also applied to SEN students. If this does happen, I think that it discriminates against students with learning disabilites, who can take a lot longer to achieve passes. And is therefore a move worth challenging. Does anyone agree?

I may be being very stupid, I have no experience of the benefits system, but I thought that full-time students could not claim Income Support?

Hi Is there anyone out there who can give me an answer to what should be a simple question? Son aged 19 (AS and MLD) has had 3 years at FE college and has finally managed to attain Entry 3. He is now able to move on to a Level 1 course at the same college. BUT we are unable to find out whether this Level 1 course would be funded, or we would have to pay fees. The system is complicated and no-one at college seems to be able to tell us. More Special Needs teaching would be free, and so would a Level 2 course, but no-one seems to know what happens to a Level One student after three years. The system seems to assume that at 19 he is at a higher level than he actually is. He would also get free teaching if he was on JSA, but how can he claim JSA if he is at full time college????

I think it is the lack of eye contact that makes ASD children stand out from others. and the fact that they are often dyspraxic, which leads to that distinctive way of moving. But I have to add (slightly tongue in cheek) that at my son's special school, nearly every boy had glasses, "difficult" hair and large ears! There was a definite "look" to them.

I found a liquid paracetemol called "Medinol" over the counter at Boots, which is for 6+ up to adults, and seems to work well. My son liked the taste, which helped.

Chiggy, I hope you are still reading this and you have not left the forum. I have been through exactly this with my 18 year old son, who has ASD and MLD. The only difference is that he did it at school and college. I totally understand the anger. I hit him when i found out what he had done; people who have not had this problem can't understand the overwhelming despair and horror you feel when you know that your child's behaviour has led them to be a danger to others and themselves. The sheer stupidity of what they have done and their total lack of awareness of the possible consequences just makes you want to scream. And the need to keep it secret is terrible. If you want help for him, I would suggest trying the NSPCC, who offer advice and family support in these situations. I also found that GPs, social workers and "child protection officers" were absolutely useless. All they want to do is blame and punish. It seemed that my son was simply unable to cope with normal teenage sexual feelings, and was on the look out for anyone who might satisfy them - male or female, young or old, if the opportunity presented itself he would take it. We tried every way of getting through to him what was inappropriate and unacceptable. Eventually I went for shock tactics and told him that he would end up on the Sex Offenders Register, get his name in the papers, never get a job. I also told him that if he chose the wrong person he was in danger of being raped. That made him think a bit. We still do not trust him, we watch him very carefully and restrict his social life, which is making it difficult for him to make friends now. But we are at one year since the last incident, so things are looking a little better. I hope you get the help you need from someone.

I'm not sure that this is in the right place to post, but here goes. I have an 18 year old son, Aspergers and MLD. He has always struggled to stay friends with people of his own age, things start off OK but soon go wrong. Now that he is older it is becoming more of a problem. We have the age old problem of helping him become independent while keeping him safe, as he is very socially vulnerable. But now there is a new problem too. He wants friends and a normal social life, like any teenager. But he always seems to drive friends away by boring them with his interests, and lately he has become a bit of a "know-all". He always has to have the last word in an argument. People get fed up and cut contact with him. He is quite lonely at college and it makes me sad to see him sitting at home on the computer every night, when he wants to be out with mates. He does not have the self-awareness to know when he is putting people off, and is always surprised when people he thought were friends tell him to F*** Off and leave them alone. Are there any parents out there in a similar situation, or who have found a way to help?

Bus passes for disabled people vary hugely across the country. Here in Derbyshire, someone with learning difficulties can only get a pass if they are a social services user - ie someone who goes to a day care centre. No-one else qualifies. It sucks. Until last year you automatically qualified if you received DLA, but that was removed when the pensioners got their nation-wide free travel. Even a doctors letter is not enough to get a pass. If anyone out there is in Derbyshire and has managed to get a pass, please let me know how.