Sammysnake

I've shared this on Facebook with my friends and have had an amazing response. The first night someone who watched it raised it as a discussion topic and a group of us spent all night talking about our personal responses to what we'd seen and how it opened a lot of people's eyes. Other have shared it wider through Facebook and a friend of mine with an autistic son is sending it to the college he boards at and to the play charity she helps at for children with disabilities. Very well done, you are educating a lot of people .

Incredible. Powerful. Wonderful. Evocative. Beautiful. Your video made me cry with joy. I am so privileged that my daughter is an incredibly amazing human being to whom all those positive traits can relate. Thank you so much for posting this - I am going to post it to everyone I know to open their eyes a little wider to the wonderous variety in our world. As I say to my daughter: 'You are beautifully and wonderfully made'. <'>

My daughter is 10 and Aspie. I've learned lots from browsing this website and from various books: The Complete Guide to Aspeger's Syndrome: Tony Attwood's This is like the 'Bible' of AS, has lots of detail in and a section on AS and girls if you get the updated copy Asperger's and Girls: Tony Attwood, Teresa Bolick, Catherine Faherty, and Lisa Iland This was good, lots of stuff for future reference but quite Americanised Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome by Rudy Simone This one is a series of actual experiences from girls and women with AS. Personally I found this one a bit negative, I guess I'm hoping for a much better outcome for my girl but it will be much more relevant to other's experiences. Freaks, Geeks and Asperger Syndrome: A User Guide to Adolescence by Luke Jackson I'm reading this one at the moment and I love it! It's written by a 13 year old lad with AS but is really down to earth and says it as it is. It has direct advice in each chapter for parents, teachers and kids with AS. With anything you read, there will be bits that apply to your daughter and bits that do not. Each person is a unique individual. I try to read as much and as broadly as possible to give me an idea of what to look out for but also try hard not to expect my daughter to act in a certain way just because she has AS and other with it have had certain experiences or behaviours. Good luck and if you have any specific questions, please post. It's a really supportive community on here <'> . As for the party, others may well disagree but in my daughter's case I wouldn't push her to go to a party if she didn't want to as for Beth, this can be a really stressful situation at the best of times. Encourage your daughter to socialise again yes, but I recommend just one friend at a time as she rebuilds her confidence after the hospital stuff. Parties really can be hell on earth for some kids .

We went in the summer holidays but Beth is OK with waiting so we didn't get any special tickets. The one thing I was surprised by was how long it took to drive from the front gates into the car park, it was then a long walk to the tram line and a massive and hectic queue for the tram to actually get to the theme park. They have a special car park which avoids all that which people pay more for - if you check I think there is probably disabled parking there too. Well worth being sure before you get there! The actual park is very big with lots of steep slopes. Staff were very helpful though - I queued up for the rides with my family but didn't go on the big ones as I get motion sickness. They just let me step straight through the seats and go straight to the exit to wait. This means that if one of your party changes their mind at the last minute, they don't have to ride. There are plenty of smaller rides too and a boating lake etc. There are cable cars which take you over the site and above the trees with a beatuiful view of the stunning gardens. We had a great day.

My goodness that's a mammoth achievement . I thought you were exaggerating when I saw the thread title .

What an amazing story, really emotional.

Fabulous news and you are right to be extremely proud and happy for him too . I love reading these kind of stories, they make me really happy. Thank you .

The fact that your child has an ASD is in some ways irrelevant here in relation to this woman's reaction. She was bang out of order. She should not be manhandling any child, dragging them anywhere, or saying horrible things to them and in about them in front of other children. The child is not 'mean', the behaviour is and there should always be a clear distinction made. As a parent I understand her instinct to protect her own child but if she has chosen to be a Rainbows leader then it is her responsibility to treat all the girls with respect and to act as a positive role model to them as well as to her own daughter. You have every right to complain about her treatment of your child first and foremost and then to explain to her about ASD and the potential reasons your daughter did what she did. Other than that, I agree with everything Suze has written. Oo, I'm really cross now . By the way, I work daily with a child who has SEN and pulls other children's hair and I volunteer at Cubs sometimes so I understand the stresses but would be mortified with myself if I ever behaved that way to a child or in front of other children, no matter how annoyed I was with their behaviour.

I love the way Beth questions turns of phrase rather than blindly accepting them like I do. It was her birthday on Saturday and someone said 'congratulations'. Her response: "Why are you congratulating me? I didn't choose to be born then, it just happened to me". Man I love her flawless logic .

Oh man I LOVED Weebles I had a whole play park for them with a little swing, slide and roundabout. My husband calls me Weeble on account of my big bottom .

Wow, this sounds VERY familiar!!

Ha ha ha, I like that

Beth wanted me to tell you that she got a letter from school today saying she has been selected to take part in a Gifted and Talented Numeracy programme for the 11 schools in our cluster area. It will be one morning a week for five weeks in January/February and there will be 20 children altogether. She's over the moon at the idea and really proud of herself. We're always telling her how special and clever she is as are her teachers but she never believes any of us. Now she has a letter from strangers telling her she is and she's finally believing it! She was so excited when we read the letter together and her teacher from last year did a victory dance with her. We were both welling up with tears and ever so proud . I'm hoping she'll have a really good time with the other kids, being able to focus in a quieter environment to do indepth study of something she really enjoys. She might even meet another child who's on her own wavelength!

Well done Sesley for standing up for your boy. As you say, hopefully in future the school will see it's not so scary to support a child with SEN on residential trips. I'm off on a Year 4 residential in a few weeks time, just two nights away and close to home but we're got several kids with different SENs coming with us. In all cases the parents were concerned but the teachers were really keen the children don't miss the experiences and did everything they could to allay parent's fears. We arranged previsits for the kids and their parents to have a look around and discuss specific support needs, extra staff go during the day anyway and one of the 1:1 support staff is staying overnight to support her child. I'm so glad your lad had a great time. All kids should have the chance to have these experiences and it's good for us parents to see our kids stretched too .

Well done for handling this all so well. I would have cried when the van man was having a go (whilst still standing up for myself at the same time) and cried driving home and cried when I got home and told my husband and cried when I phoned the insurance company. I'm sure you can sense a general theme going on here!! I would have gotten everything done but would have need a box of tissues more than the wine. So glad you seem to be ok but just watch that sore back, you may find you're really stiff tomorrow. If you are, go and see a doctor straight away. Maybe you can get some insurance money for physical injury out of this guy. He deserves to have to pay up after trying to put the blame on you .

Just a thought, but how old are the children, especially the baby? Is there a chance it's not about AS but about postnatal depression? I'm NT and only have one child yet I found the first couple of years really tough, especially when she was crying. I felt I wasn't coping well at all although I gave the impression when around others that I was. Definitely try to get a break now and again by having a friend watch the kids or a relative or something and have some proper resting time to yourself then. I agree with everything Justine has said too. It's also worth finding some time when you're not stressed to think things through and decide what is it that you are finding most difficult. Is it the noise or feeling you are without support or something else? Then you can start doing practical things to help ease the strain you feel under. I found going to toddler groups really helpful as although it was noisier, the noises didn't bother me as much out of the house and it was great to hear other mums discussing the same issues I was having. It's important to know you're not alone in finding young kids hard work and it doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. For me once my daughter started sleeping through the night (age 3), my capacity for dealing with the daytime stresses grew massively. Good luck .

I don't know about legally but I know the school where I work as a Special Needs TA would certainly tell parents when someone is coming in and as a parent I think you have every right to ask. The speech therapist only comes in a few times a year to see the child I work with to assess progress and discuss with me new materials which I will then work on with her. As soon as I know she's coming in, I jot a note in the child's communication book. Parents don't need to come in for the meeting but I know they would want to be informed. I would be very surprised if it would be a problem for you to be told whose coming in. I would simply ask the teacher informally and if they don't know they can find out from the SENCo for you.

We're working our way through this and my daughter's learning to manage the feelings of stress it creates through practice by playing games at home and school, lots of modelling from me and teachers of how to lose graciously and social stories teaching her different ways of thinking and preparing herself for the possibility of losing. She now says over and over to herself - 'I might not win, I might not win' as a preparation for herself. If she loses I see the struggle go across her face as she deals with the emotions, talks to herself out loud to try to put it into perspective and then choses to play again. If she continues to lose over and over it all gets a bit too much and I try to give her an opt out before it gets too much but she will push herself until she knows she can't cope anymore. I've also explained that the end result is not the only important thing as we learn skills and strategies to make us better players each time someone else beats us. Explaining the difference between games of luck and games of skill is another sticky patch - Beth thinks it's not fair if we don't share the winning of games of luck and there is obviously something wrong with the forces that govern the universe who are out to get her . I'm really proud of the progress she's making though. My girl is nearly 10 now and I'd say it's in the last year or two that we've been able to actually enjoy playing games together . At age 6 there are a lot of kids in my school who really can't cope with losing; it's something they all have to learn and some need more support than others, NT or otherwise. I'm sure your boy will make progress in this area as he grows and you keep giving him opportunities to take part in different games and activities and teach him strategies to use to calm himself or think of the activity in a different way. Good luck . Edit: Just read what Baddad said and I agree with it all. We used to have races to get things done too and I will calmly say, "I don't want to play with you anymore if you're going to get upset, it stops it being fun and other people will not want to play with you if you act like that every time". It's really tempting to avoid the games and therefore the confrontation but it doesn't help our kids if we do that .

Oops, just realised how much I do this to my daughter and how annoying it might be for her. Do you want a coat today Beth? Nope. Are you going to be warm enough without one? Yep, I'm fine. Are you sure, it really is chilly today. Nah, I'll be fine. OK, but I'm wearing one because I'll be cold... This goes on and on because I really can't get my head around the fact that just because I feel cold it doesn't mean she does too. I think there's also a bit of 'other people will think I'm a bad mother if I let her go out on a cold day without a jacket'. That's my problem though, not hers so I really should trust her to know what she needs sometimes . With things like offers of drinks etc I think some British people are conditioned to refuse the first offer out of politeness and wait to be offered the things a second time before accepting. I remember someone talking about a young person who went to stay with a family from another country (sorry, can't remember the full details). By the second day they complained to a friend that they were really hungry and thirsty. The hosts on arrival at the house said 'would you like a drink?' to which he said 'no I'm fine' and then waited for them to offer a second time, but they didn't. At tea time they offered food and he said, 'No I'm ok' even though he wanted food and drink but once more, they didn't offer again. It took several missed meals and drinks and a chat with his friend for him to realise these people took him at his word and if he wanted something, he had to say yes straight away!! You're right Mumble, humans most definitely ARE weird and none of us get all these idiosyncracies right every time. Try not to worry about this one too much as it really is a minor one. People offer you things a second time not because you're doing or saying anything wrong but because it is a habit they have adopted or been taught. I agree with what Jota said that expanding the reason for saying no can help the other person feel more comfortable.

Ugghhh, please don't talk about Polos - I have disturbing memories associated with those things . I had a nan who I didn't like because she was always really nasty to my mum (her own daughter ) but mum still loved her so I had to visit once a week. When I left she would always force on me a handful of hot and sweaty polos and make me eat one in front of her - it really is just too traumatic to remember .

I was thinking something similar - either a police officer or someone else your son respects and will listen to. If he hears the same information coming from another reliable source it will be harder for him to justify the thought that it's just you being paranoid. I don't think I'll ever have to worry about this with my daughter. When she meets new children and they say 'what's your name?' she won't say and comes running back to me suspicious of why they want information about her!

Saw the paed when Beth was 5 and he said there was nothing wrong. Saw him again when she was 9 with the support of a full social and emotional checklist sent by the school prior to the meeting and a detailed letter from me describing her struggles and the support I was giving her - he diagnosed AS on the spot that time.

Oh no, I can't believe I might now be late for work because I've been researching Cheerios on the Internet - thanks Baddad . I didn't know they were so huge in the States and that there are so many different types . I must say the ones in this country are a bit boring. Couldn't find the answer to your question though, sorry.

Brilliant. Well done that lad!

What a milestone - fantastically well done to your boy and also to you for supporting and encouraging him to the point that he could do this.