AdamJ

This is shocking, especially the authoritiy's statement that they followed standard procedure. For such a litigious country, it amazes me how dysfunctional the USA is when it comes to the human rights of their own people.

In case this debate about normality stems from my recommendation of the book Pretending to be Normal, I should add that it is probably an ironic choice of title. The author doesn't necessarily condone the efforts of many with AS to try to fit in with society's stereotype of 'normal' but she does function at a sufficiently high level to suppress or disguise many of her AS traits. My clinical psychologist said something similar about me. She believed that the huge mental effort I make to seem 'normal' to NTs is the probable cause of my nervous breakdowns (acute anxiety disorder). By 'normal' I mean trying trying to 'normalise' things like eye contact, contextual (not necessarily literal) meaning of what is said to me, understanding of metaphors, empathy (still a very hard one), engaging brain before mouth, etc. Obviously, some with AS are more accomplished than others at doing this but there's no denying that many of us have a natural instinct to want to try to fit in and not be conspicuous.

I have two books. Pretending to be Normal by Liane Holliday Willey. My psychologist lent it to me and I subsequently bought a copy. It's a mix of autobiography and practical advice. I like this book because I relate to about 90% of what she has experienced. It's definitely suited more to readers whose AS is high functioning. Solutions for Adults with Asperger Syndrome by Juanita P Lovett. This is a factual book with some short case studies prefacing each chapter. I like this book because it is aimed at adults and helps to explain in more detail many of our symptoms and behaviours, for example problems associated with multiple sensory inputs. My sister has The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome by Tony Attwood, which she bought after I was diagnosed to help her to understand the condition. This is probably the most detailed book available and isn't really something to read from cover to cover but rather to use as a reference manual. You can get any of these books on Amazon.

One more bit of advice: I like it when people add me to their friends list and I like it even more when anyone feels a good enough connection with my thoughts to want to send me a private message. I'm sure most here would agree with this so don't be shy about adding friends and sending PMs. I was offline (in hospital) for 12 days this month so I wasn't able to reply quickly to one person's PM but I did as soon as I was able. I never ignore anyone's PM. Best wishes, Tanya. Adam

Darkshine, since this has become a long thread, I haven't read all the replies so, as I often say, sorry if I'm repeating anything already said by others. I know exactly how you feel and I relate to each of the five stages you listed. However, though I'm no doctor, your outlook is so similar to how mine was that I'm convinced you are suffering severe depression. I hope you can find the medical help you need for this. I feel sure that your state of mind has more to do with depression than with AS, even though depression might well be a secondary issue stemming from AS. Regarding acceptance, ask yourself what prevents you from accepting the diagnosis. Try to envisage how you would feel if you did rationalise and accept what seems to be a certain diagnosis. I confess that I was upset and despondent when I was first diagnosed but after accepting it, things got better. Mostly through reading books about AS, I've learned a whole lot more about myself, my strengths, weaknesses and vulnerabilities, and I've been able to learn more coping skills for myself as a result. Accepting your AS doesn't mean you're in any way weaker, less able or less valuable than you were before your diagnosis. The doors that were open to you before remain open. You're still the same person and, judging from all the posts of yours that I've read, that's a good thing.

For those having problems finding work, you could try looking at the Remploy website. I have no personal experience of them but they specialise in placing 'disabled' people into work. As far as I know, they do include AS/ASD within their remit.

I'm right-handed but left-footed.

I have learned over the years to do it and my fear is much less now than in my adolescence when it felt like someone drilling into my eyes and pulling out my brain. The shock of seeing someone unexpectedly looking at you was the equivalent for me of suddenly seeing without warning a big hairy spider on TV.

Thanks for the link smiley. I'm sure you'd look lovely with that hairdo.

Wow smiley 6 stone - that's a fantastic achievement, well done and congratulations! I've no idea what Kerry Katona's hair looks like but if that's what takes your fancy, go for it.

I've checked the listings and it's on CBBC only, from 4.40pm to 5.00pm. It's a Newsround Special, NOT to be confused with the normal Newsround on BBC1.

In case of doubt, I should clarify that the events are organised at disused airstrips, not on public roads! Details at www.200mph.net.

CBBC are showing a Newsround Special documentary at 4.45pm today about Rosie who is 11 and is AS, and her brother who is 9 and is ASD. They've just interviewed Rosie on BBC Breakfast about it. She narrates the documentary herself. I think the idea is to introduce children generally to AS/ASD and give them a better understanding, which I think is very laudable and progressive of the BBC. (I think I got the broadcast time right but do check it as I might have misheard).

If the claim for your car's damage was made by your husband's employer, then they would have initially incurred the excess and then recharged it back to you. In that case, you might have to rely on your husband's employer or their insurers to claim back the excess and then reimburse you. It would be easiest to track down who dealt with claim at your end and ask their advice. Don't be fobbed off though. You are entitled to compensation for uninsured losses if the accident was indisputably someone else's fault.

I use earplugs whenever I'm on my motorbike but I use the foam ones you'll find on the shelves of Boots which are about £5 for a set of four. I think the prices you've been told are for custom made plugs moulded to your ear. Don't bother - the £5 foam ones are just as good. In my experience, Boots are the best ones. They do at least two different varieties, yellow ones and slightly larger flesh-coloured ones which for me are more effective. They are fully washable and last almost indefinitely. You have to roll them between thumb and forefinger to squash them and when properly inserted, they expand to create a very effective noise barrier. In fact, I wouldn't recommend them when your walking near traffic for safety reasons.

I have just two special interests, both with a precision engineering theme: 1. collecting camera lenses which, unfortunately, is a fearfully costly special interest to have. 2. motorcycle drag racing. My right femur contains a lot of metal after a car crash in 2009 and the doctors warn I could lose my whole leg if I broke it again. So, in the circumstances this is a bit of a foolish pursuit but what can you do?

Here's what it says about Information Overload on the website I found: "The wealth of data available on the World Wide Web has created a new type of compulsive behavior regarding excessive web surfing and database searches. Individuals will spend greater amounts of time searching and collecting data from the web and organizing information. Obsessive compulsive tendencies and reduced work productivity are typically associated with this behavior." I'm on sick leave at the moment (acute anxiety / severe depression) so I have the opportunity to spend all day online if I choose to. I think I'll raise it with my psychiatrist.

I have to confess to having a big problem controlling the amount of time I spend online. I wouldn't have thought of it as a definable 'disorder' but I've found a consultancy firm's website giving comprehensive information about it, so it really is a problem that many people have. My particular category of net addiction is Information Overload. I often spend hours and hours compulsively trawling through Wikipedia's pages until I think my head's about to explode. Needless to say, I'm a very popular pub quiz team member! I'm also a camera enthusiast and spend hours on end reading the latest reviews on new equipment. I seriously think it all might be adversely affecting my mental health. I sometimes think I'm going insane. Does anyone else share this problem?

A word of advice: always refuse the insurance company's first offer and hold out for an improved offer.

Kathryn, you can claim back your £100 excess from the other driver's insurers (assuming he was insured). Sometimes your insurer will do this for you.

My OCD tendencies extend to my music collection. If I hear a piece that I like, I have to buy the album from which it originated. I feel a compulsion to hear the piece in the context of the original album. Consequently, I have no compilation albums at all - not one. Similarly I have a lot of albums that I don't particularly like! Anyway, here is my final indulgence on this thread (probably). This to me is impossibly beautiful.

The guitar-work on this is stellar. RIP John McGeoch.

Smiley, I'm sure the disorientation thing is your AS. I have exactly the same problem where there are multiple iterations of essentially the same surroundings, such as housing estates, modern schools (I sometimes used to miss classes because I couldn't find my way to them), modern office space, hospitals, etc. I've learned to pay attention to and memorise the differences and try to learn my way around based on these different features.

This song really sets my OCD off, playing it over and over again! I would so love to hear it performed live.