Richt

On day 8 of patches, totally clean, but not sure why I shouldn't fall off the tree and have a smoke. After all, am I going to live long enough to make it worthwhile? And does it matter? You can't pm me, our server is dead so I won't get it for a couple of weeks, if anyone is interested. Richard

Could say something here about the kind of people who want to fight against a free culture in favour of an oppressed one, but I won't, already been pulled up once

Well, not sure if Neil is still following his string, or I can introduce a new one... But this is easy: "Watching John with the machine, it all seemed so clear... Of all the so called father's who came and went through his life... Wouldn't get drunk and hurt him etc" Probably the best monologue in any film ever rich (Flying on Saturday - blimey)

lion (Boss-eyed:Daktari!) Bless him, he was excellent, I'd forgotten his name was Clarence (the cross eyed lion)

Clarence's (Dunno why I just thought of pots)

Neil Young - Freedom

Icehouse did hit it here with great southern land - but only if you liked Young Einstein with that nutty comedian Yahoo Serious

Asbestosis (Now get out of that - the workers thought they'd a nice little income lagging pipes, lining chimneys etc)

If you're struggling with number 5, I'd take the ELO, just to have mr blue sky with me, and a reminder that I'm a wild west hero. I've been thinking about the books a bit, Kafka? -no, dostyvesky? - can't even spell his name, probably Fly fishing by J.R. Hartley, it could come in useful - or how to brew beer by I.M. Hopper.

5 Music Albums, 3 books (and as much trashy stuff as you like) 1 Luxury item. And I guess you can have the music loaded on an ipod with unlimited batteries. Music: Gong, Magick Invocations - because it's a double album and I get to cheat! (Anytime I feel out of it I can tune in and relax) Neil Young "rocking in a free world" Alice Cooper "Hey stoopid" and "The Last Temptation" - I got that one as a promo double pack (so I cheat again!) lol The Pogues, The Ultimate collection - ( What, not another double CD!!!!) Marillion, script for a Jester's Tear So musically, I can surf all the emotions I need stranded on my island, who needs people? Books, I might take the Bible, but doubt it, Number one for me would be an atlas of the world (excluding 500 square miles round my island) if the mods let me. Number 2 would be the complete works of Shakespeare because I'D HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD TO WORK OUT WHAT THE HELL ALL THE EXCITEMENT WAS ABOUT! Number 3 would be some documentary about people, so I could learn to understand them Luxury item - dead easy, a shelter with WiFi broadband through satellite

Well I always got on better with adult conversation as a child than with kids' stuff. Maybe it was the rules being easier to understand. Doesn't help when you're an adult though and you realise that all the stuff they were going on about was rubbish! Maybe it's good that AS children can interact with adults, but it doesn't teach them a lot about interacting with their peer group. As an old person, I've run out of real people I can talk to, unless you include posting on here and emailing.

Canopus If you are really angry about this, I'm not going to defend other people's misguided thinking. Some children respond well to behaviour modification, but they are nt kids who understand boundaries, they can be angry about paula stealing their toy, lash out and then be "punished" so they learn that stealing and lashing out are not acceptable. The whole point of BM was it missed children who were truly bemused about action, and consequence. Rightly a teacher might say "it's not nice to take your trousers down in class" , but the teacher should have some understanding about why the trousers are down and respond appropriately to the child (Understand the motivations and circumstance) I think that only happened in some places, the rest were just interested in making the children compliant

council

Makes it hard to move on when two adults seperate if there is no "goodbye" or promise to be there for the child. Sometimes it is right to be clinical and cut all ties, othertimes it is better (and harder) to allow the Adult / child relationship to carry on. From the child's point of view, it's better for the main carer not to be the bad news bod. Let your ex maintain the relationship as long as he can, if he lets your child down, deal with it together. The important relationship is between the child and the "other significant adult". Not the Adult / Adult relationship. I'm not saying don't move on, just think it's better for your child to make judgements about the absent partner in his own time. R

canopus I don't know where or when you went to school, but (facing facts) before 1940's no-one had ever thought that children were anything other than "Naughty" a good hiding sorted them out. During the war, people like Winnicott and Homer Lane got their head round the fact that these children weren't naughty, just different. (Angry, upset, traumatised and acting out as a result, but not malicious - perhaps simply crying out for attention) In the 60's folks like Marion Benathon pushed it a bit further, somewhere along the line people like Robert Laslett started to question and a whole new movement was created, the children were labelled "Maladjusted", they didn't fit into the nice picture of society as village greens and cream teas. There was a move to make the label less damning in the late 80's, so children became EBD. I remember Paul visiting(around 1990), he was 10 or so and looked like he came from the "Persil" family, white BMW, white shorts, white T shirt. I was very new on the staff then, having met the family I had to take Paul down to show him the classrooms and meet his potential teacher and the rest of the children. Later I talked to the teacher and the boss and asked them what was "wrong" with Paul, they steered me to the notes, which I read. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, today, I'd cut through all the psychobabble and be fairly sure he was ASD. So there's a rise in ASD diagnosis, or possible diagnosis, big surprise, it's been diagnosable less than 20 years, people are catching up. When I was working with Paul neither of us was aware we were both possibly ASD, we understood each other, had empathy. Later, much later, my boss told me that Paul's problems stemmed from the fact he didn't understand that his parents truely loved him, they did all the right things, but he didn't pick them up. My boss was (still is I guess, very insightful - I haven't been invited to the funeral yet) By then I was a key worker for Paul. Paul "got better" because he learned how to receive, understand, accept, (dare I say it?... Love) he began to recognise that if his dad gave him a sweet, it was because his dad loved him, before, it was just a sweet. Behaviour Modification is a totally seperate animal, punishment and reward, all the child learns (maybe) is how to comply, but it doesn't help with understanding their condition and "place in society" Not much help I guess, I'm definitely no Torrey Hayden, just a bloke who has drifted through life and finally found out who he is B******* (sorry Mods) to all of it, you is what you is. So long as you make people happy around you, get on with being you, sod the diagnosis, always seek to be you and love the skin you're in, loving your skin is the first step (I kind off like myself a bit at the moment) I know who and what I am and accept it. Hey ho R

I've put my views up here loads of times, maybe it's just to keep the topic current, because I think it's important that Adult diagnosis (Partial, possible, potential) is talked about. For Ch****'s sake (sorry Mods - don't want to offend anyone) ASD is a pretty new topic, I worked with a lot of "difficult children" in the early 90's, one was definitely Autistic, a couple would now be described and accepted as ASD. In the olden days, I remember my Boss telling me that Jonathan was unusual in our community because he had an organic problem (Autism), the rest had "Emotional and Behavioural Difficulties" the new pc term for for "Maladjusted". I'm willing to bet there were a lot of so called EBD children I worked with who were really ASD, fortunately the regime I worked in looked at the children and tried to manage them and integrate them in the kindest possible way. As thinking moves on, sure the boundaries change, people become redefined and the problem for adults is they often spend their lives gnawing away at previous history, the maybes, should be's, could be's. If only I could live that part of my life again with the understanding and perception I now have about myself... I have literally shed a skin since my quaisi diagnosis ( the Psyche guy didn't want to progress to full diagnosis as he was pretty convinced in one meeting I was ASD and I also had too many coping strategies so I would be able to sit the tests and come out "normal" which would be the wrong result) I guess the tests haven't caught up with adults yet. Is diagnosis the magic cure? Absolutely not, it raises more questions than it answers, for example ignorance was bliss until then, I could say and think pretty much what I felt, now I have to think a little harder and believe it or not, that is a relief, but if anything it makes me appear less confident, less self assured, less assertive to the world. It also lets me use my phenominal mind processes to solve problems, that to me seem easy, but in the job I do now, believe me, some very competent folks honestly can't see the wood from the trees. Luckily my job involves thinking "outside the box" in a world that requires middle of the box thinking. All I have to do is provide the avenues to the outside of the box to allow development. I'm lucky I guess. Jimminy Cricket, the nagging doubt on my shoulder, has been replaced with an internal understanding, I'm no longer trapped, I beat myself up about normal stuff - you smoke and drink too much, now I feel strong enough to address those face on, I'm 40, don't have any feelings either way about being dead tomorrow, but just maybe I'd like to be around for a while longer, that is becoming my obsession. I guess you could say I've wasted 40 years scrabbling about in the dark, trying to discover myself. Now's the time to live. What a ramble, if it's any help good, if not, so be it. R

I don't think it's unusual, Donnie Darko, Pay it Forward, and the theme to MASH all set me off! With MASH, i think it's Radar, sending the jeep home through the post. I've always been very sensitive like that. At least, if I know a good cry will sort my head out, I can hit the right buttons! The biggest issue is dealing with other people who don't understand. That makes you frustrated, angry and not able to communicate well. Did anyone see the Queen coming to tea today on TV around 1400? I thought it was done fairly well.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '99, Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine. Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing every day that scares you. Sing. Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss. Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself. Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements. Stretch. Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone. Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's. Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own. Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own livingroom. Read the directions, even if you don't follow them. Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out. Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth. But trust me on the sunscreen

"At home with us he is totally different really, you couldnt find a more chatty child, he is always yabbering away and wants company constantly, loves playing with his brother and wrestling with his Dad." For me, for what it's worth. Put me in a place with people I know, I'm relaxed. Stick me with strangers, I just get it wrong. Leave me by my own I'm more than happy r

My reply might be rubbish, but from the other side, (ancient, and fairly recently dx) I picked up on this. My feeling is that you do fixate on certain people in your life. They punch your emotional buttons, dare I say, the person you would like to be? Never let anyone convince you that an AS person isn't aware that (his) perception is different. Sometimes I think it's a bit like Pinnochio, Jimmny Cricket is there on your shoulder, telling you to shut up, behave, that it is all in your head, no-one is bothered, but you don't pay attention to it. You know it, but you can't do anything about it. The fixation is about knowing you're different, and if only you could be like them... Maybe you could be normal. load of stuff that mods will cut, or maybe? My experience, no-one else's

Well I can do the easy ones first had me stumped. Not sure that any are really bad words for 12 yr olds, to know? Dunno

Answers - give me the answers that allow me to live with who I am. I'll be brutal, I am who I am, don't like it? Tough, that's my attitude. People who bother to get to know me realise I'm actually a very sensitive and caring person. Too sensitive, too caring probably. However rubbish my dx was, it has allowed me to grow, I no longer spiral into negative navel watching, feel a lot better about the world and can go home at night and sleep a lot better because I'm not beating myself up about the what ifs and maybes of all my social interactions today. Haven't needed to seek attention for a long time (well a couple of months) only sharing this because previously, I was addicted, I needed replies to my posts. No longer feel self pity for myself (I never fit in no longer enters my head) I don't fit in with the real world (so be it) I've never felt so chilled about me. It's not perfect, and I have a picture of "perfect". I can't live with my family anymore, luckily I have a job 200 miles away, they come and stay with me, I go there when I can. I work 24/7. Every day I meet with families who have everything, despite my recogition, that they are NT, sure I feel a little sad, but I'm not going to get down about it. My name is Richard, they think I'm ASD, I think I am too, it took me until 40 to find out. It explains a lot, and leaves a lot of questions unanswered. I was talking to the ASD person (previously mentioned in my posts - same day as Karl Marx in May) who shares my birthday, last Friday we were joking about us being twins (despite there being 20+ years age difference) I said in passing (he doesn't know although his parents do about my dx) We were closer to twins than he thought. He just smiled and said he knew already ( I know for a fact that his parents haven't told him) How off the wall is that? Our family is doing better than it ever has, despite the 200 miles of separation, in 4 weeks we will be on holiday together for 3 weeks, can't wait. R

whole thing goes round again but really, The......... EDGE

So put me out of my misery, was it Plastic Bertrand? Won't post, cos don't know!

All I can do is echo everyone's thoughts, as we say in Wales "Bechod" (Bless)