dom

If you've stuck together this far, you'll see it through. in my opinion that's a slow, frustrating journey at times, but from the dx (which is both an end and a new start) you can sort of piece some things together and make sense of the person. Hope it helps

wasn't dr Hans Asperger german or something? lol

from a sort of neutral point of view, people place far too much emphasis on sex, when IMO sex has very little to do with the L word. Random guess - most NTs (or shall we say the over-sexed NTs) stance on this is, they know roughly how their bodies respond, so when they're with a partner and they dont get that "awesome" physical release of endorphines (as portrayed everywhere these days- coz the hype says it HAS to be like an out-of-body experience) they put it down to chemistry, and soon or later search for another partner. And i'm guessing, people in the spectrum, for a combination of factors, dont really get the same awareness from their own bodies and physical responses (i read somewhere about different sensorial thresholds [?] ) so it's never going to be easy to connect with someone, let alone getting to the "promised land" we're fed an illusion of.

Dont know about the other films yet, but Adam was superbly made, lot of insight into it (did you see the alternative / deleted scenes and commentaries? ) It would never be easy to portray a 'cross-section' view of AS, from either NT or AS perspective, because we're all so specific, but i could relate to it. Actually made me wonder, if Adam is the "emotion-blind" maybe Beth's mum would be somewhat of a "reason-blind" for the fact that she knew about the hubby's affair and never said a word about it? Considering...i'd guess most NTs would be 50-50 between reason and emotion, but it seems society is more acceptant of those who may "lean" a bit more to the emotional side of things, say 20% reason and 80% emotion, but the opposite is sidelined?

now i feel things are starting to happen after all this time... just came from the Aspergers centre here in Norwich with mixed feelings but overall confused, had the AQ test done with a result of 37. feels as if i need to dig into myself to find myself.

Well that was spot on..i somehow feel in my personal journey (undiagnosed) i cant tell anyone what or how i feel, even my best friend of 6years, 1st time i told him about my suspicions of AS & symptoms (i was reluctant to tell but he found out i was having CBT at the mental wellbeing service so i told him) and he plainly put it down to me being depressed, and lacking self esteem all my life. But no real support, just "get that crazy idea out of your mind and you'll be fine" At that point i thought to myself, is this the kind of friends i need? There's no map to my journey but im hoping to find some comfort along the way. All the best:)

hello welcome...similar story here. All the best

that "dont feel like i belong anywhere" has been ever so present for me. in relationships, career, family/social life, most hobbies etc..this is what has led me to search for help. In hindsight, maybe i wouldn't mind to have under-achieved in areas of my life, if i wasn't "so intelligent, talented, patient, kind" etc. like some close friends have described me in the past, if it made me a bit more "normal".. :S

ive just contacted the Asperger east anglia centre, i need to have a referral from the CBT therapist, in the meantime i got an interview there next week... thanks

The people we have around us do play a part in this isnt it..i'm afraid those around me aren't very supportive or understanding, today had a chat with my best friend of 5 years, 1st time i told him about me going to the mental health clinic and about AS, he very plainly said i was depressed, had no confidence or self-esteem due to my present circumstances and largely to my family (he knows them and its a valid point) who dont really give a shot about me unless they need something. Time for some changes and grow a thick skin then.

the more i think about it (in my case -undiagnosed) ..it's like, most of the time rational thought processes take over - unless i'm feeling very relaxed and/or on my own with some "happy / funny" feeling - leaving very little to the emotional intuitive response. I do feel something but there's a variable time span in which i need to think about it, rationalize it - if i don't, that's when my "quirky odd character" sneaks through. If i do, during the time i need to think about it, it's as if the emotion is lost to some extent. I reckon I can't have one without the other but it seems to explain things for me: why i'm much better at reading/writing than communicating verbally, why I'm ALWAYS reasoning about situations (which makes me feel cr@p at times even if others say I'm right) ...the list goes on. Hope this helps somehow.

very interesting post.when it comes to myself and my experience with music, i cant remember when i really liked all the tracks in any given album.some i tolerate, others i dismiss, and a chosen few end up going on and on!Guess it can be said that i'm one of those people that is more attentive on the details rather than the whole, i listen to an array of genres/ groups/ artists and like the subtle nuances in melodies or rhythms..sometimes in my head i kind of "sample" the bits i like then create variations within the same theme.I notice this very minute there's some kind of pattern to other things i like apart from music, hmmmm! now it got me thinking.

here's to the unprovoked honesty that is a trait of AS

yes these routines are our comfort zone..but isnt there some "happy" medium between doing the same routines all the time (mostly lonely or within a very restricted group of people) and trying to do different activities with different people while trying to connect with them? for me it is a bit frustrating either end. I get that more people like me (warts and all) than i give myself credit for, i just dont know how to come across to them.

what i also feel sometimes its something strange to describe, it's as if i have got no ego in myself in the way i come across to people. I'm an analytical guy..i talk about things very factually and my emotions rarely come into it. I've been asked if i ever swear, or why do i have some of the rigid non-sense routines i have! Erm..i just cant explain

i really identify with what you're saying here. i can pin-point some moments in my life where i wish i could have showed some emotion..its not as if i dont care about people, but somehow the words/actions i think of seem empty.or maybe the emotional part of me is somewhere under a lot of barriers i've built in in my head. is "emotional blindness" a trait of AS? i dont know.

..so maybe here is the clue as to why i need subtitles most times i watch telly..which bores my flatmate to death lol

interesting..

its all right then, if there is a small chance of breaking the cycle my life has become, and make things better, i'll grab it. Although im still by the Nhs at the mental wellbeing clinic, dont know how will it be if i have to go private (lack of work/funds atm by this side of the norfolk broads lol) Thanks for your views on this.

theres a good topic. well personally i wouldn't really know, as i never watched any movie related to autism - something that i would probably like to to now. however, we're talking about stereotypes, and in general i think they're bad and reductive, even the best-meaning ones. but it's a thing of the human nature, whichever the field, we always need a specimen, a prototype if you like, from which to make comparisons.. :S but dont let that throw you off. whatever you're like, there's no need for it to define you - keep widening your horizons.

i guess there's still light at the end of the tunnel then i know everyone copes differently though. i havent so far, more like jerky reactions, but there is a lot of my life i'm hoping to be able to change some day.

Charlotte im from Norwich even tho not originally. can i ask you, what differences did you feel before/after being diagnosed..did it help or just made you more aware? thanks for the replies..

what happens most to me meeting someone new is, him/her or me will say "sorry?say again?what do you mean?what are you on about?" or any variations, a bit too often, and that just stops the ball rolling. The fact i'm easily distracted when i dont have a clear objective or goal doesnt help. Guess i dont really have a clue on how to start a bit of banter/ light chat with someone, and at times i say stuff without realizing it. very awkward. I assume it's hard to "get" me, and most ppl want it easy lol.

hello to everyone. I'm new here and its been a few weeks since i had my 1st session of CBT in order to be diagnosed.honestly theres not much i want more at the moment than get some closure over the suspicions i've had for pretty much all my life. only learned about AS 2 or 3 years ago but there's stuff way back..the feeling that one lives in some sort of bubble, i can look, see and talk but cant really engage with people, growing up i thought i was overly shy but now i'm trying to make sense of it all. socially i pretty much doesnt exist, even though i dont consider myself as a hermit. never talked about it with anyone before..but i can distinctively remember my oldest niece (she's 28, im 31) saying that she thought i was autistic a while ago, when i was opening up to her about feeling lonely at the time. I didnt know anything about it then. But still, i try to meet new people sometimes, it usually is ok at 1st but at some point the "awkwardness" comes and then mainly i'm either ignored or seen as someone people only go for to get whatever they need,which has left me feeling used by even my own family/ friends and in lots of moral dilemma..its in my nature to help people and mostly bottle my own feelings up. i decided to do something about it now because i realize it's impacted in all areas of my life.i have to learn to live again, whatever i might have.