31770

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Brilliant thanks; this has been goin' on for many a month over many subjects; so procastination is not likely - seemingly I don't deserve any information ever. That said she was very accommodating when listening to me trying to describe something that can't be described, so it swings in roundabouts.

Hi folks. I was wondering if there is a name for/phobia or otherwise descriptive method for a person who, regardless of how damaging their taking no action is, will never make a decision. Contrary to what several of my friends have expressed I don't believe one of my old lady friends used me as an outlet for her not-so-savoury ex problems. Ironically the problem is that I can't make decisions on account of not being able to identify real and calculated emotions - she can't because either she's a monster (I don't believe this yet) or maybe there is more to it. Anyway I thought this would be the best place to start. I have tried talking to her about it but that is fraught with the same issue. I physically require the information, it is eating right through me and has already been a main factor in the collapse of my career. Cheers, 31770

I agree that posting an opinion on subjects as important and potentially life changing as this is somewhat of a faux pas, then again any response to a question such as this which is predisposed should be considered dangerous as it may directly affect the decisions made of a reader. I suppose I would not be comfortable with the idea of someone with AS being put on anti depressants on a whim by their gp, of course in hindsight I should have mentioned that I wasn't diagonsed at the time and was passed of as just being depressed. That said I would oppose the notion but would never intervene, although I'd likely offer to discuss my experience with them if only so they have information from boths sides of the coin. Judging by the number of views (12742 Views) this is an important topic form many people with AS and it wouldn't be unreasonable to argue that where there no posts on negative experiences this thread would be far more dangerous.

Hi darkshine I kind of suspected the "cure" part was not born in gravitas lol. I thought a reference to the positive aspects might be in good stead with regards to the post as a whole. As for the two points you've listed: One of the most simultaenously beautiful and disgusting elements of internet forums is the way people use them. Mining posts is an largely a meta persona that (I'd speculate) is an extension of a desire to be respected or considered a reliable source of relevant information that sadly is not always explicitly linked to the desire to have the knowledge that is paramount to such a position. In short the method is simply to respond to as many posts as possible, regardless of how innane the response is, with an end goal of accumulating a high post count or high activity level which may give the impression that the person is at the very least lovingly passoinate about the topic. If you ever visit reddit I'm sure you'll be aware of their equivalent "karma whoring". Although their site isn't of the same nature of a dedicated forum, the principle is much the same - People crave to be seen as important, not everyone cares how they go about getting that status. Self assertion: (in some ways can be tied to the aforementioned). There are few people in the world who don't believe that they have the perfect moral balance. In the same way that people aren't interested in questions or views that contradict their beliefs it is not uncommon for people to assume that everyone else needs their input in order to live a morally balanced life. Once again reddit is good example here in that they tackled the matter head on and created the "circlejerk" sub reddit where people can "Have all your crazy values reaffirmed." Sort of a ironic joke aimed at displacing such comments to a place where people go solely to see such comments. Possibly a bit long winded in response. I realise that in commenting on the above in my first post I may seem to be being slightly unsupportive but that isn't what was intend. Essentially what I meant was as long as you manage your expectations of what constitutes as a response (in a world of internet trolls) then you can rest assured that someone will respond to your posts. The first response received in a thread may not be helpful, perhaps even insulting, but the reply counter is a fruit of curiosity to the causual forum browser and in time will likely entice others to read the thread and hopefully make a relevant and helpful comment. For the record: I don't consider myself to be an authority on the behavioural traits of forum users but I'm sure many people who have spent a lot of time on forums (again in speculation, more so with lurkers) will hold similar views.

*...seriously and have pronlems in dealing with... Should clarify my comment in abstract is a problem with expressing my opinion regardless of whether or not the expression could be considered a faux pas. Not exclusive to love or any other emotion/view.

Hi darkshine. Generally you'll find that people on forums are pretty accommodating when it comes to responding to threads even when they are initially unable to provide help or introspective on the subject. Whether it's advice, curiosity, mining post counts or simply a respnse fueled by arrogant self assertion you can gaurantee that someone will respond... even if the response is just to comment on the nature in which people post comments on the internet. As for the cure you're looking for: None that I'm aware of although the compulsive quest to understand and question everything is one that can be very rewarding and certainly and positive one. That said obviously where the owner of the introspective questioning perceives the topic to be negative it can be harrowing. Not sure if that helps, nonetheless you can rest assured the forum will support you in efforts to gain understanding.

I personally feel, from experience, that anti depressants are very dangerous for people with asperger's. I was put on a course of them in 2008 and subsequently partook what I consider to be the most dispicable group of actions I've ever taken. This ended in a few admissions to a psychiatric ward of which I ended up straight back in after discharge until the treatment was stopped. I am very ashamed of my actions from around this point in my life and as a result I would strongly oppose the idea of anyone else I meet with asperger's taking them.

I'm the opposite in respect of significant others. If I fall in love with someone (that said there has only been one person, it's happened twice with a large intermission inbetween) I physically can't prevent myself from telling them. It started the downfall of and has nearly cost me the best friend (or at least the person I've most contected with) I've ever had and has definitely prevented us from ever reinitiating a relationship. I take the notion of loving someone very seriously and have in dealing with the immorality that is commonly displayed in the relationships held by others. Lol I'm destined to remain in the anthropomorphic relationship I've developed with my computer Doropthy (yes the "p" is meant to be there)

I listen to music in a similar manner. For me the drumbeat need to be really upbeat(double kick etc), or music with a lot of layers. I listened to Bela Fleck and the Flecktones - Live at the quick almost exclusively for around 8 months last year, with a tendency to repeat big country several times, skipping back on the Q&A section between the bass and alto saxophone.

I've had similar problems with the family. I'm 24 and have recently received the same diagnosis. My cousing and his partner (my best male and female friend respectively) have stated that there is no way that the pyschologist is correct and that my parents are just horrible people. For the record my parents weren't exactly the best in that they tended to view my sister and I as battle currency but I spent most of my childhood with my grandad and consider my childhood to have been pretty good in respect of parental influence. I suppose what I'm getting at is that family members can be very closed minded at times and the important thing isn't to waste time on changing their opinions simply to make sure that their opinions don't govern how you handle the situation.

It's nit picking like this that has cost me many a friend lol.

Mimicing was perhaps not the best choice of word. Studying how others react to situations and using that as a framework for similar situations when they present themselves. I'd say more relating to primary fields of interest although they're technically obsessive thoughts. The default could be better described as a constant chain of thought that is always present, even when you're not consciously thinking about the subject you can still feel the chain of thoughts dominating your passive cognitive processing as a constant.

Are you able to identify triggers for a change in mood? I tend to find I my mood changes, sometimes drastically depending on the contnet, throughout statements made by third parties whether relating to me or not. Other triggers I've noticed are when people break unwritten rules, always put your rubbish in the bucket etc. Identifying your triggers is probably a good idea. If there's one thing I've observed it's that when things are good, they're exceedingly great, when they're bad they're catastrphic Unrelated: I've read two of your threads this evening and the signatures were "XKLX" and "XKX" respectively, which is correct? Sorry in advance if this seems like nit picking, just curious and new to the forum so I don't have any older points of reference.

Wish I'd left it alone now. (some post)views 0 - view the thread - return to forum - (some post) views 0 On saying that I'd imagine registering every forum view to DB would be strenuous of it's hosting server so I'd imagine it'll make a cheeky xml file for each view and read the containing directory every x minutes updating the DB.

Glad I'm not the only one that's experiencing it. If only said time travel was available outwith the forum, five minutes is all it takes for the greatest musings to traverse into whole-hearted recklessness After you pointed out the forum clock I checked the discrepancy again and it's somewhere between 6 and 7 minutes not exactly 7 currently. Taking a stab in the dark I can't help but think the web server was incorrectly set at time of construction or at least it's a bois asserted time which isn't remotely validated.

Hi folks, Possibly a bit cheeky since this is only my second post but I noticed whilst revising an post edit that the times were the following: Google("Time uk")<current time BST> 22:16 - 10:16PM Post edit time:<forum time GMT> 09:23PM An hour of the discrepancy is the difference between BST and GMT.. The peculiar part is the seven minutes difference. Anyway I thought I'd bring it up hopefully someone from the forum's sysadmin team can have a look into it. Thanks.

Hi folks, Hmmm, better start with some obligatory first post information. I'm 24 and have known for a mere month that I have Asperger's. It seems that I would have known sooner had I not obsessed over mimicing generic behavioural responses to average social interactions throughtout late childhood/teens(/=&, not proceeding divisor). That said it may be more accurately attributed to poor introspective factoring on my part, or the fact that I'm not a doctor. Anyway; I've been scrapping the internet for information on the social impairment and have found many useful generalised information sources(albeit articles predominently pertain to childhood ASDs) however there are several subjects which I desire to be considerably better acquainted with amd I'm hoping other forum users may be able to point me in the right direction. At the moment the topics in question are: - Default thought pattern (passive subsection of Primary Interests) In short the feeling that regardless of what you're thinking about at any giving time, even if consciously there are no thoughts regarding a primary interest, is still present in the background. Sort of like a computer is always monitoring it's audio device drivers whether or not they are in use (perhaps not the best simile...) - Recursive analysis and solving the unsolvable) Difficult to explain, say you send an email and then you realise that a statement may be perceived as something other than the intended meaning to which you have to explain in another email what the intent was. Of course now the new email needs further clarification, with the loop continuing. Part two of this item in this list of topics in which I'd like to better understand. For anyone who has seen Mozart and the whale (I watched it on the 17th prior to an appointment on the 18th with the doctor as a source of common relatability between the doctor and I. Turns out she hadn't seen the film, but it was still useful to me) where the male lead has the dilemma whereupon he has been instructed by the female lead's doctor not to contact her (the lead) by her request as weel as the doctor's. This causes the male lead the dilemma where in order to not make contact he has to make contact to inform the female lead that he won't be won't make contact. I can't think of a better way to describe this but information on how an ASD mind works with a taking no action is still an action, and more importantly others involved need to have the information available to them in order for such an action to be initiated successfully. - Not a direct topic as such but information on how to explain to people that have known you for most of their life that despite the fact that they are accustomed to your quirks and as such regard them as negligible and that they know you don't have an ASD. To put in a slightly less flattering way: how do you explain that when they say "You analyse stuff too much" that they literally have no idea how much of the thought process has been filtered prior to being verbalised in order to make the topic at least mildly accessible to them(By accessible I don't mean they're too stupid to understand it's just difficult to trim information to a level that does stress courtesy(averaging three change of topic requests from third parties, excluding preprocessed topics obviously)). Essentially just because they only receive or facilitate for a truly insignificant amount of any of my thought processes (idling or topic reactive) doesn't mean that they can lay claim to any empathic understanding of a person's conscious existence. Erm I'll stop here for now so I don't use all the forum's database storage space with this post. Any information on the above subjects would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read this or at least for spotting this thank you at the bottom of the post while looking for a synopsis. EDIT: Section starting "Not a direct topic..." I'm not pointing any fingers or blaming others for my failures here although it may seem that way. I accept that I should have tried to be more gregarious with the manner in which I interact with the people close to me and realise that they're stubbornness on the subject is entirely my fault for not openly discussing topics such as thought patterns but I adapt my persona based on statistics and if 99 people don't respond well to an action carried out by myself I'll go ou7t my way to not take that action again. To be honest I can't express what I'm getting at here, would these people be close if I'd been unfiltered? I didn't know anything about ASDs until recently so could I have known that I should have explained how my mind works to people. How can you try to explain something about yourself when detail is paramount to you but excessive self-referencing is condisered fishing for sympathy, how much is too much information what is an acceptable amount. I can't rap this up neatly hopefully someone here can make sense of the edit. In short I'm not trying to insult others for accepting me. <edit title removed, little to no value> I hope the post reads ok if the way it is written is out of order, not suitable or anything not listed in the prior two please let me know in what way it has offended or caused you to view it in the manner which is relevant to this edit. Sorry in advance.