SidiousUK

Not really flashbacks just total recall of conversations. I would say it's a bit like tourettes - I remember a conversation from years past, get angry and utter a few explectives and then feel absoloutly knackerd but with a feeling to belt the living daylights out of something. I just want a memory wipe. I don't if I don't remember anything - just want a clean slate

I have come to the conclusion that my "anti angry" pills are not working. No matter what I am doing, the memory of some idiot will pop into my head and remind me of their total stupidity leaving me with the angry feeling boiling in my belly which I then have to fight against which then makes me miserable. I have decided I want a memory wipe. I've seen such a thing on a TV show that I enjoy and I have even made a copy for my shrink so he can see if it really does exist. I've just about had enough and well believe Master Yoda when he says: "Anger leads to hate, hate leads to pain, pain leads to suffering" - Yeah my suffering not the rest of the stupid world. The more I do to help my self the more the devils own herd lays cowpats in my way. I didn't ask for this life, like I didn't ask for this particular disability. Wipe the 40 years of idiot abuse from my brain and we can then let the world take advantage for another 40 years buy which time I can just be considered senile! Rant over SidiousUK

They are easy to remove. Once you have got the case open you can usually unclip the Dell hard drives by pressing some green tabs. There will only be two connections to the rest of the system which you can unplug and pull the disk out There should be something on line showing you exactly how to remove SidiousUK

I've always wanted a Darth Vader on my arm. My friend says I should have a slogan like "Guns don't kill people, I do" instead but I think this may be a bit extreme - lol

Agree with Darkshine Do they video the event or at least any special speakers?

I can remember bands and even the names of their songs when I hear a few bars, but I tend to like the SONG rather than the artist. I have only one exception to this and it is Prince

Hello Jan I have something similair to your son and I was only diagnosed a month ago after spending 40 years getting through life. I find the carbon based life forms too "freaky deaky" and unpredictable so I don't go out and therefore avoid the problem of one of them tipping me over the edge. I was given meds to help cope with the stupidity of people but I don't think they have got the balance quite right yet. I can't offer you much advice, but would it be possible for your son to have his lessons in a class room on his own? When I was at school, we had a "naughty room" to which you were sent if you misbehaved. This was usually staffed by a teacher who was on a break. It's not a long term solution, but a step in getting him back to school SidiousUK

I've been stuck in a rut for 2 weeks now. Really can't be bothered with much and everything is a major effort. Think I should speak to GP and tell them that the meds seem to have stopped working now. LancLad, You reached a 10 at the birth of your son. My empathy quota is very low due to my AS and when my daughter was born I was about a 3! All I could think of was the 18 year millstone around my neck, constant visits from family (which was a real pain) and another mouth to feed. I only reached a 10 when I was about 14. One of the family dogs had been very very ill and was being kept at the vets. One the day of my birthday, I came home to the best surprise present I have ever had. The dog was back and was all better! SidiousUK

Hi all I am not exactly what you would call a music mogual, but I do like a wide range of music (from BeeGees to Marylin Manson & Rammstein) I was listening to some of my favourite songs the other day and something clicked. Nearly every song had either violins or piano solos in them. It may have been the week for it as I have not been having a great time recently and these two instruments are usually used in songs that some people would consider miserable one (well, a google search says that anyways) Does anyone else have a particular draw to one instrument or a particular type of music? I can still remember the first song I acutally bought was Get into the Groove by Madonna and as my nan was away, I was able to stay there and listen to it on the record player over and over again. (Yes! a record player!) The first song I remember listening to was a Ken Dodd and the Diddy Men album that my nan had bought. Think I still have it somewhere

I know where you are coming from Thomas. That is how I am feeling at the moment and the meds seem to have stopped working for the past couple of weeks. Like many carbon based lifeforms, I don't take my own advice but have you though about finding a new hobby or talking to someone about how you feel. Perhaps your GP could help?

Hi Iceburg My diagnostic report was almost off the chart but I would consider myself pretty normal. As Tally says, it is a collection of symptoms so I would would probably says that non Apsies' would exhibit one or more symptoms but not meet all the diagnostic criteria for Aspergers. SidiousUK

I would say I am anything but "needy" but I would say that if I paid in, then payout when I need it. When I have mentioned Aspergers to people that I know I have got a blank look. I have then explained that it is HFA and you can see that they have only registered the word "Autisim" and a mental picture of Dustin Hoffman has popped into their heads. Believe me, If I had his ability I would be on the first plane to Las Vegas! Until my diagnosis, I had rarely heard the word used in media unless it was used in an attempt to explain the actions of someone who was very introverted and could be descrobed as "needy" Until someone famous who has achived alot stands up and says they have AS and look at what they have achived, any form of Autism will been seen as a crippling condition Just my opion SidiousUK

I too recently had a suspicion of Aspergers confirmed so I know what you mean about clearing your mind of a lot of issues.

Interesting reading Lyndalou. Sort of makes my saying of "we are the product of what people make us" ring true in my ears. I see myself as Frankenstein's monster and one day I will go looking for my creators. I never forget and I never forgive (school bullies beware!) As Edmund Dantes says in the Count of Monte Cristo - Don't take away my hate, It's all I have Throughout life, I have used this hate to my advantage to fuel my passion and become the best at what I do for a living and what I am interested in (which happen to be the same thing) Everyone is different, but I find if I treat something as a game it becomes eaiser to to as I only play games to win SidiousUK

I would say that my diagnosis has solved the problem of why I can never seem to get past a certain level of management. When it gets to the point of having to tell half truths or being devious I struggle. I am more happy playing with my shiney metal boxes

I would say that my "gift" is my problem solving abilities and ability to recall of conversations I have had with someone if I am interested in what they have to say. But a gift can also be a curse as I HAVE to find a solution to any problem that I come across and finding this solution then becomes an obsession. But I do get stumped by the carbon based lifeform. If any of you have seen the latest Star Trek film, it is like when the computer is firing loads of logical questions at a young Spock, each of which are answered quickly and confidently. The last question that he cannot answers is :- "How do you feel?" I can't say if I would choose to have Aspergers were I given the choice as it is something I have had since birth but I would like to have known the answer/had a diagnosis to the question of "What am I the way I am". I was talking to someone who has known me for over 20 years and she said that people just thought I was odd and that she couldn't say if she would have behaved differently had she (or I) known I had Aspergers. SidiousUK

Keeping friends is harder than making them. I don't have nor want any as a friendship only seems to last as long as they can get something out of me. I firmly believe in the mantra from my favourite TV Doctor, Gregory House:- "Everybody lies"

That sounds just like a chapter in my own life. Unlike me, you sound like a socialable person (I shun the carbon based lifeform at all costs) If it is any help (and at the risk if generalising) people from Mediterian are known for being tempremental espically the females. just be you and I would agree with Tally when she says to keep your cool. Once you let someone know which buttons to press to get a raction they will keep on pressing them. Good luck SidiousUK

Have to admit that they tried to push this sort of thing onto me. Only difference is that I am in full time employment. Is there a hobby that you could take up that couldbe performed during the sitting around phases? or how about telling someone there of the feelings you have towards the boring times with a view to them helping you fill that void? SidiousUK

Hello all. Had my assessment yesterday and the preliminary results are in and as I said I would let you know how I got on, here are the results. AQ 49/50 EQ 6/80 Deficits in all three areas of ADOS and all five prerequsitesin AAA. Not yet sure how I feel about this yet. I think I may have just hit the denial stage full report due end of next week and hopefully I will have got used to the idea I will say that the person doing the diagnostic was very knowlegable, but I have to admit that I switched off when she was giving her first impressions. I feel a collapse coming on SidiousUK

I have meltdowns all the time and they are usually linked to the behaviour of the bi-pedal carbon based life form for whom I have very little time. People say "it's like banging your head against a brick wall" and when I was younger I would run full pelt at walls or hit my head against them. Apparently I'm like Jykel and Hyde. When I explode it is in spectucular fashion and then afterwards I act like nothing has happended. Something in a recent film rang true to me when one character say to another "Who are you?" the other replies "I'm Frankenstiens monster and I'm looking for my creator" Overtime, I have found sounds that I find soothing. Songs with a "drone" on the backing track are often found playing on a continual loop on my laptop and if someone switches off the server on my desk I get upset as I like the sound it makes in the background

Like Darkshire, I tend to use metaphors but I do have some sayings Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view - Obi Wan Kenobi, Return of the Jedi The best plotter is one who plots alone - My Nan Get in there you furry oaf! - Han Solo, Star Wars (used when my dog is misbehaving) Life is a lemon and I want my money back - Meatloaf (me on a bad day)

I'll try anything once but problem is I soon get bored. I direct my creative side to my work and will sometime write a computer program just for the hell of it Sidious

LancsLad does have a very good way of putting his thoughts across (far better than I) I agree with some of his comments and disagree with others - but that is OK as everyone is allowed a point of view. I would just say that as a reminder (and in my opion) that no one is to blame,feel guilty etc for mistakes or wrong judgements made in the past. It is our mistakes that make us who we are and hopefully we learn from them and can pass advice onto others. That is why we are here after all. SidiousUK