Mike_GX101

Usually I don Usually I don't bother correcting spelling errors but given that you're a pal and given that I noticed you were making the same spelling error a lot I thought I'd help you out. Take it or leave it.

That's clearly not right - if you're still with her, seek out another. I would put in a complaint too because they have a duty to help you get into a job hence the job title Disability employment Advisor as apposed to "Disability Unemployment Advisor"! You have every right to apply for jobs. What one person thinks is hopeless is another person's career!

Ultimately it's one step in the direction of individualism - i.e. by saying that we're not all the same. Asperger's is a syndrome that affects us all differently and we all have traits in varying degrees. Where some excel others are not so good. Some may be good at science, others at geography while others with autism might be artists!!! Some people bemoan having autism but the link above provides some optimism to the contrary in that we are all different and we're all special in our own special ways - you too A-S Warrior!

No attitude pal - just giving you an extra pointer that's all! BTW it's "people" not "pepole"

Yes that can happen but what do you do when they do find you? Do you always notice them or would you miss them even if they were right under your nose? See, the thing with 'real friends' is that they're probably looking for the same things you are - they want to be treated with respect and not be talked down to, as many people find that off-putting instantly. There's an age-old proverb which can be used here: Treat others as you wish to be treated. This is another bullet-point you can add to your list A-S Warrior / Mr King of Kings!

Yes it's true! And those people who did ICT degrees 5 years ago at high cost to themselves would have to take another just to keep pace. It's a joke!

Just makes me want to shout really loud - AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

And yet despite the times there is still this general expectation of getting on the career ladder, getting a car, a house, a family, etc etc. And if you haven't got those then why not? What is wrong with you?!? The sad truth about owning your own house is that it's unlikely to ever happen for many. With people outside London on £10-20K max a year (and then deducting annual costs one has including extortionate rent and insurance) and with the average property prices over £150K and with jobs drying up and looking less and less secure there just seems to be this constant barrage of force pushing one away from achieving that which surely, you'd think would be a given in a society such as ours and which is actually expected of us?!?

Thanks. Yes redundancy is a hard reality for many these days - you go from having solid foundations to being without a ground to stand on at all in a matter of weeks given that for every year you've worked at your company you're entitled to only (yes only!!) one week extra; I thought it was a month! The reality of redundancy is ever more striking and while some people claim the recession is over there seems to be a time lag happening in some parts of the country where the realities of recession are only just beginning to bite and with talk of a double dip that doesn't hold good at all! I'm really worried actually with the state of things. It is alarming that so many people can be uprooted from their hard-earned jobs so quickly. What happened to those days when you could simply walk into a job and have one for life - you'd work yourself up, get countless promotions and then if you did leave the company you'd have a more even advantage? Many people don't even get that option now. It isn't what it used to be and it's sadly getting worse. And at a time when many can ill-afford it with rising costs of living too! Perhaps the biggest worry today is that our money is being diluted as more and more notes and coins are circulated. So while your salary may be frozen, you are in effect getting a huge pay cut as the money you are getting is no longer as valuable as it once was making everything cost more and more - it's not just because the retailers are putting the prices up to cover their own costs, there's also this dynamic going on where the power of your money is falling too. And that's even if you have a salary... Such times, such times!

So have you never been late for something? Or had problems receiving text messages only to then be the receiver of thick flack due to having not responded to someone you didn't even know had texted you?!? Have you never been asked by a woman "does my 'behind' look big in this?" and had to give them a compliment of "no" whatever the answer is?!? Tell them the truth by saying "yes" and you're likely to leave the poor woman in tears and maybe worse - they might even throw a plate at you! I mean some of the things about spotting the so called "fakes" are true such as the ones to whom you confide but who end up telling everyone. Then there are those who leave you in the lurch and don't give you a lift back however dire your circumstances are (I have many words for those people I can't say here!). Then you are right again - there are those people who never pay for things in bars, like potential dates who expect the man to pay for every drink which is great if the relationship is going to ignite later on but some women (and I'm not saying all women!!) just use this tactic whether they intend dating or not - and I even know (knew) one or two who would deliberately go out with no money and it would be like a sport for them to see how many drinks they could get out of people. I think you missed one though from your "friends" list and this is a big one: learn to forgive...because not everyone is perfect and not everyone will get it right all the time. I think you have a lot to learn to be honest and you need to give a little - ever heard the expression "a little give and take"? If you can't forgive then you will end up very very lonely. Because everyone makes mistakes - and I bet you do too and you hope others will forgive you as well?? Treat others as you would want to be treated in return.

People have a world of emotions when things like that happen (whether they can make sense of them consciously or not) and sadness is only one of them. You might find a piece of bad news to be hysterically unfair or "just typical!" and so make you laugh or make you mad. When I was little I remember sitting in a funeral and very few people were actually weeping as you'd expect. I actually felt no emotion/sadness at the time but deep down I felt the loss. But often emotion is a personal thing, almost like a fingerprint I guess - we all have our own web of emotional response that manifests itself in a whole set of ways over a period of time (which again will be unique to each person).

Check out this link which gives a list of 8 possible types of Asperger's as we're not all the same (for example for those who can deal with change, being given too much routine can feel like being trapped in a box!): Are there 8 different types of Aspergers? I found this link a couple of years ago and have referred back to it a number of times since!

Just posting this thread to see what your experiences are with job hunting in these difficult times where many are being made redundant and having to re-find their feet in a highly competitive market with far fewer jobs than there are people going for them. In my view job hunting has always been tough but with recession biting more and more the situation is even more unbelievably troublesome and having aspergers can make it harder still. In a world where money makes everything go round but where one must scale hugely troublesome barriers to get in anywhere worth hanging on to (or where there is something to hang on to for long enough) and where daily commodities have shot up in price in spite of frozen salaries and quantitative-easing we are all in desperate need of hope and inspiration. So come on in out of the cold, put your feet up, make a brew and lets talk job hunting and job interviews. Let's hear your experiences and stories - tell us about how you've overcome your barriers and lets hear about the difficulties you're having and hopefully through doing so we will all fare better and be stronger at getting the jobs we really want.

Darkshine: I experienced this too when I was a kid. I don't understand it really because I wasn't mean or anything. It just kind of happened...and I'd be like trying to hide my reaction in...shame maybe?...Awkwardness?...I don't know. Who says how we react to things reflects how we truly feel about them deeper down though? The other side of the argument are these people who try to cry to fit a situation - it doesn't do anyone any favours. In my view it's better to react naturally than to try to feign a reaction and ending up being guilty of deception which may not go down well at all particularly if they're a good friend (or were!!)! Ultimately if you laugh at an awkward moment it's no big deal...there are lots of reasons you may be tickled besides their troubled plight - there's always time to patch things up later and who knows, they may even see the funny side of it later too!

You'll have to become an inventor and design one that makes no noise!

Walk?? Teggie's never walk...they creep...they see...they chase!!!! No seriously - I was sat bare footed one day and I saw one suddenly in the corner not far from my feet. I was going to hit it but it actually dashed towards my feet and I had to really move and then had to take the room apart to find it again when it disappeared under my desk! While Teggie's aren't poisonous they can bite and crawl up ones leg etc etc... They also have incredibly good eyesight and when cornered can be quite aggressive. Just be sure to wear gloves if you do want to pick one up. P.S. Click on the link above if you want to see one up close.

Well it does depend on what kind of animal you're referring to!!! I love cats and dogs...and fish. But you wouldn't catch me anywhere near a wolf spider...not in a million years LOL!

I suppose in some way being scared of lightning is a very valid fear to have, given that it can in certain situations prove fatal. I think it is all too easy to become complacent about it particularly when so many people survive them all the time. I got caught out once between two mountains. I was all alone. It started raining heavily. The wind whipped up. I felt my hair standing up on the back of my neck. I heard almighty cracks up ahead to my left just over the ridge of one of the mountains. It was terrifying. There wasn't a tree in sight and no buildings either. At that moment I was the tallest in the valley I was in between the two mountain peaks with thunder grumbling all around and echoing forbiddingly. Even if I'd laid down I would still have been the tallest in that area! So I made a desperate dash for it. I never saw any lightning thankfully but knew it must have been striking the very peak of the mountain to the left. I got back to the car after running for what seemed like an age, turned the ignition and was off. And I know, I know it was a classic error getting into a car during a lightning storm but there was no way I was staying out there all alone to risk getting sizzled to a crisp! Instinct took hold of me that day and probably saved me too! I was so glad to get to back to civilisation and being with other people again after that... Electrifying stuff but it pays not to be too ignorant of the dangers of storms; a certain level of respect for lightning is essential - respect thunder too because it can warn you of the approaching danger and gives you chance to act.

Isn't it just maybe the not-knowing of what it is? And does he have anything playing on his mind that's compounding his reaction to it perhaps?

I have found certain people to be of real help when it comes to Asperger's - they are really supportive and I feel they actually want to help. However, out there in the real world, away from the Oasis created by those helpful people is something far less forgiving. When I found out about Asperger's because apparently I had asperger-like tendencies which I could not argue against, I felt elation at having a reason validating why I am the way I am. I felt at last I would be able to cope with the world. Sadly it isn't all sweet roses and butterflies and I get the cold-shoulder a lot by many people who really should know better given the positions of Authority they're in. It is sad when people are like that, not to mention the put-downs and the general feeling that those people seem to want me to live a life in total solitude never getting the chance to actually getting into a relationship with anyone - that's perhaps the biggest frustration of all!! To have a syndrome that puts up barriers and then having a system that deters you from ever overcoming those barriers and reaching out to someone you like is just plain wrong. Surely the system should be working with us to help us live proper normal lives and to integrate better with those around us instead of the other way around?!?

I don't know - it's hard to say. Are you reaching out to your colleague or to your friend? Which is more important? Do they really need to know? Should they know? Are you worried about losing their friendship through telling them? This is my particular worry when telling people in my life - that I might distance them. It really is your choice what you do; you don't have to reveal everything though if you don't want to. Write down what you have (i.e. describe your syndrome) and take bits out you wouldn't necessarily feel comfortable telling them. Re-word it and take more bits out if necessary until you have what you'd feel comfortable telling them. That way you're being true to yourself while being true to them too without running the risk of abject rejection. And if they reject you on what you feel is a true reflection on your part then they weren't really your friend any way and you can move on. Good luck!

Describe what you mean by 'services'. What kind of services are you looking for? What do you feel would help you? But yes I understand your angst that it appears that once you become an adult you're effectively frozen out into the cold. I felt this too and suddenly the hardness of reality began to set in and that was when I could have done with support. Mind you, it would have helped if I had heard of Aspergers at the time let alone Autism. But seriously, the first thing you need to ask is - what services are you looking for? What do you hope the services will help you with? Are you asking them the right questions? Maybe they don't know what you want and you need to make more of a case to them? There are services out there that can offer support for a whole variety of syndromes (not just Aspergers) which might be supportive to you too.

Hi, Please see the following link if you've never heard of Klinefelter's Syndrome but would like to know more about it: http://www.ksa-uk.net/ Thanks

What do you mean by negativity? Negativity about what?!? Two people who love one another very much being in a relationship?? Asperger's is a communication barrier that effectively separates us from others leaving us feeling isolated and alone - or rather that's how I've largely been affected by it. But for that barrier to be overcome and for love to be the outcome how is that a bad thing? In my opinion that is a truly beautiful thing and one which we should all aspire to!