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About Joanne2

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    Salisbury Hill
  1. Joanne2

    I'm david3

    Hi David Yes, quite a few of us are the diagnosed people rather than the parents/carers of (and some are both!). As Raydon says, a good mix of people and perspectives.
  2. Hi Ska Have you spoken to Prospects at the NAS? Obviously, legally no-one should discriminate against you, and they should make reasonable adjustments - but I'm sure you know that, and that in practice people are often governed by their prejudices, which is a shame. Another question I would ask is whether it is up to you to decide to disclose your diagnosis or not? Or do the Job (Joke?) Centre people insist on doing it for you? You sound like you have a lot of ability and a lot of skill and I hope you find a way to support yourself with them. Best wishes, Joanne
  3. I think it's a very different relationship with your own child: you start out together right at the beginning of the process, and to some extent you shape each other. Step-children - in fact all children - can go for the jugular if they feel like it, whether their victim has AS or not. And some of my the people in my personal child-raising village were there professionally or as volunteers: doctor, health visitor, befrienders from Home Start and a local branch of Mind. If you feel that you need help, you (and your child) have every right to ask for it, and to get it.
  4. I've only just been diagnosed and my son is now 9. I desperately wanted a child but, at the same time, I knew I'd need help because of a history of anxiety and depression. I have a supportive husband, I grabbed help wherever I could, and I did love my little boy from the outset - which helps. There's no guarantee that you'll love your child when he or she arrives, whether you have ASD or not. I did every I could, consciously, to promote my son's emotional and social wellbeing, because - without knowing what it was about me at the time - I knew my development had been delayed in those areas and I wanted to give him the best possible start. He has his own anxieties, but so far - touch wood - he seems to be doing well - which may be nature rather than nuture, I don't know. I suppose what I'm saying is, if you know that you have difficulties, and are honest with yourself about it, and get help where you can, that should give your child a good chance of thriving. And no parents are perfect - humans are so complex, and we don't come with operating manuals, everyone's bound to make a few mistakes along the way. And I should always add that children are not compulsory - there are many, many other worthwhile things a person can do with her time, or her life!
  5. Joanne2

    Shy hello...

    Yes, hope you're feeling better too. Sugar gliders - wow!
  6. Joanne2

    Shy hello...

    What a great thread! So much I can relate to on here. I'm still struggling with the issue of whom to tell and when...
  7. Hi, Red-Eye I had one last week. I took my older cousin with me as the centre assessing me asks for a relative who can remember you as a child. We'd already sent in questionnaires, so some part of the process was already complete. What happened last week was a three-hour (could be more or less for someone else) interview that ranged over my childhood development, adolescence and later life, and then moved on to my current situation, making reference to the answers I'd already given on the questionnaires. Basically, it was a three-hour, structured chat. Hope that helps!
  8. So many more than I ever could have imagined...
  9. Thank you, Merry, your helping just by showing that you understand how difficult it is.
  10. Thank you. 'Songs of the gorilla nation' is a wonderful book - such an extraordinary mind revealed in it. Will add 'Mozart...' to my list.
  11. Hi All Been reading your posts and relating to so much that you say. I have a 9-year-old who hasn't had the problems I did as a child and appears to be neurotypical but have just been diagnosed with AS myself. One of the hardest challenges for me - one of the reasons I sought a diagnosis - is that I have to deal, day after day, with other mothers, all the time trying to behave like I'm one of them so as not to trip myself up and make them uncomfortable, and feeling distraught at those inevitable instances when I fail - when my 'weird' shows. I'm OK with friends, OK with people with whom I have a purely functional relationship - doctors, solicitors, estate agents, waiters etc - but this 'in-between' stuff does my head in: it's what used to make jobs and flatshares so difficult for me. If it were purely up to me, I would simply avoid engaging with people in this way, but with an only child who's keen to fit in and have playdates, that isn't an option. Were it not for my son, I would probably also disclose the diagnosis pretty widely, but as I'm his mother, I worry about the effect this would have on his life. Rightly or wrongly, it matters to him to fit in. And the other day, quite coincidentally, we had the following conversation: We are walking home from school. I have burst into song. Son: Sssssh! Don't sing in the street! Me: So am I not allowed to sing, then? Son: No. Well you can sing at home, but not in public. Me: Why not? Son: Because people will think you're weird. Me: But I am weird. Son: But you don't want people to think you're weird, and besides, if you're weird, then I'm weird, because I came from you, and I don't like people saying I'm weird. Has anyone else had this kind of dilemma? I'd be interested to know if you did and how you tackled it. Thanks.
  12. Thank you. It's funny you should mention Rudy Simone's books - it was reading 'Aspergirls' that convinced me that I should go for a diagnosis. Like you, I found myself in there. :-)
  13. Thank you, everyone, for welcoming messages.
  14. Hi I'm 42 and female was just diagnosed yesterday, after years and years of wondering. I was always your classic Martian in the Playground and although I did well academically, I always felt socially out of step; on paper I was very able, but I never stayed in a job for very long - I didn't quite understand this at the time, but having to interact with work colleagues all day was really too stressful for me. In a lot of ways I've been very fortunate: I have a husband with a good job and a son who - touch wood - doesn't seem to be experiencing the peer problems that I did. I've published books - poetry and autobiography. What I've never really been able to do for any length of time is support myself. Can't drive, find crossing roads frightening, can't handle crowds, can't figure out how to put on a wrapover dress, can't get my fingers to snap - the list goes on... and I know that if I don't watch my behaviour all the time, I disconcert people. I decided to go for the diagnosis between I've lost both my parents and my younger brother, and I felt the need to clarify where I might now fit in the world, with so much gone. Thanks for reading. I hope there are aspects of this that others can relate to. Joanne
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