oakers

Great post matzoball. I think you've hit the nail on the head there... helping yourself by letting others help you. Unfortunately I think sometimes this is one of the hardest things to do. If you're having trouble talking about things to an advocate or similar Smiley why don't you write things down? Like matzoball says you seem to be able to get things down in writing, and maybe that is the key to helping yourself?

Hmm... does it seem like a trend? When he was more aggressive with the baby the last time was it a time when the baby needed more attention? Is there any way you can give him time alone with you to spend just doing something together? Maybe that'd make him feel better about the baby needing more attention. Maybe if that is the issue it might help resolve it a little.

I've been thinking about this a lot since all the goings on the other day... 1. I think that people should still feel comfortable enough to post. I've seen a couple of posts now where it has said that something has been edited for 'smooth flowing' or whatever... but who says that what a moderator considers smooth flowing is what other people do? We're all supposedly either on the spectrum or have children on the spectrum and therefore are probably quite tolerant with regards to the way people communicate. If you start moderating the way in which people write, if there is no danger in what they are posting, you run the risk of alienating people, further than they are probably feeling alienated in life already. 2. For moderators to be considerate of forum members and vice versa. A forum will NEVER work if there isn't mutual respect amongst the majority of members and their moderators. There's more but I'll come back with that in a bit.

Just wondering, with you saying that you needed the baby close by, that he may be feeling a little jealous and that's why he's started hitting out again?

I'm a bit of a perfectionist with my cakes as well Kelly... nothing wrong with that, until it starts stressing us too much!! I've gone on to buy so many baking books :/ oops! I like to try new recipes but find that I like to try and perfect the ones I use often as well. I was going to go on a decorating course, but have decided that I'd probably be better trying to just teach myself more than what i already know / do by just looking at pics in books and videos online. Maybe having a small tank wouldn't be too stressful? In fact, it might be therapeutic again!?

AS... I only ever liked music photography... never really found any interest in anything else, sadly. Now I need to find another hobby, besides baking.

I am so sorry to hear that ST. My thoughts are with your sister, you and your family xx

I'm not sure about going private etc, but could you ask to be put on a cancellation list for the double appointments? That might help speed things up if there's no other option available.

No, I can see what you're saying about sites like that and have often thought the same myself. I really don't understand why some people upload what they do but then again I have a super self-critical eye and that sometimes transcends into how I view other work. I was lucky in one sense that when I was doing my photography it was, to a point, time limited with regards to editing and uploading, otherwise there was a time when I'd have quite happily have left the editing for some time. I'd take my time with stuff but I couldn't ever just sit on it, as I sometimes wished I could. The other good thing was that I really only used Flickr to upload a little of my work, as I had my own music website that I was running. Although, I do wonder if I'd still be taking photos now if I didn't have all that pressure on top of a physical illness and a full time job!! I know, pressure is good right?!! I think the key though is to enjoy what you're doing the suggestion re Flickr was more as a storage point but I can see why it'd be off putting.

Hello welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear your running up against so much stuff with your daughter... Hopefully once she gets her diagnosis things will get easier. Good to see more avid bakers out there... I find it to be very therapeutic

Hello and welcome . Hopefully you'll find a lot of useful information here

I know how you feel... Here was quite nice earlier so the dog and I got a much needed outing. Feels good doesn't it?! I was trying to think if there was somewhere I knew where you could upload photos... Have you thought of Flickr if you want to share photos on a regular basis? I used to use that a little bit when I was doing my music photography.

Just as I thought really, not much around for anyone really is a sad state when you see that more and more people need the help. Don't get me wrong I'm glad that the kids coming through the system now are usually getting the support they need (I realise this is not always the case) but it does anger me that we, the older ones, are left to suffer in silence if we can't access forums etc. I think it's very important for people to have outlets for exp<b></b>ression and did wonder whether those that did have access to support groups found it easier to do this online or at a group, actually with people. There is nothing for adults nearby to me. I have thought of trying to find out if anything is possible around here though as there are a couple of schools in the area so there must be parents and adults who have ASDs. There is also a cafe run by autism initiatives so maybe there's a glimmer of hope. I also feel that given the fact that forums are usually the only support for a lot of people they should feel welcome to post, whether their opinions differ to others or not, whether they are argumentative or tow the line all the time, etc. what I've seen over the past couple of days is upsetting because people are feeling, rightly or wrongly, got at, instead of supported and welcome even if this is seen to be a minority it shouldn't be happening :/ I've said my two pennies before so we must be getting closer to 5p by now... Sorry if people don't like what I am saying but it's important to me that everyone is treated fairly ;/ we're treated differently all too often in the 'real world'.

Perhaps the hard feelings have come from the fact that people perceived that the forum wasn't heavily moderated and then, literally straight after the new moderators were instated there was action taken. I'm not really bothered who moderates the forum to be brutally honest, as long as they are fair. I did voice that I thought that AS would make a good moderator as I thought he seemed fair, but that was the only comment I made. What I can see though is that maybe there is some disharmony at the moment as people weren't aware of any vote or consultation with the forum members about who should moderate the forums. Just my two pennies.

Doesn't seem a very helpful attitude for them to have if there is nothing else in place for people ST. I really do wonder why there isn't more support out there for us older people!

I went to school in Australia so we didn't have A levels etc, but the equivalent... I did quite well in. I was actually pretty good at school if I put my mind to it and ended up getting a scholarship going into first year high school and then a scholarship coming out of high school and into college. I tended to do better at subjects I didn't like... but I've since come to realise that I probably didn't like them because I found them easy and ultimately that bored me.

I'm not bashing anyone. If moderators don't respect 'us' and 'we' don't respect the moderators how can a community work?

Not wishing to cause problems but wouldn't that be subjective? What some might find negative, others might not. I'd expect that if posts have been changed by a moderator, that the moderator involved should PM the person it effects as they do so, therefore the person will know why this has happened and can then discuss further if they wish to. Expecting people to know why things are done if nothing is said is a little... daft!?

I think you can make a forum a community but there needs to be a level of respect amongst all those who participate, and that includes the moderators.

I don't really like town centres, or shopping malls but to be honest, as much as malls annoy me I prefer them to going in and out of shops if it's really hot or wet outside. What really irritates me is when people are either constantly pushing you or the people that stop dead in front of you. The best are those that are operating prams and end up driving them up your leg and saying 'oh sorry, I didn't see you there'. Hmm, do you not care enough about your offspring to watch where you're pushing them!?

It'd be nice to think that people could talk openly about issues that are bothering them, without feeling that they need to overly moderate themselves. I came here to learn more about my diagnosis of AS and hopefully get to know like minded people along the way. I'd have to say I think, after reading the topic on Tech forum, that I think if the rules are going to be so strictly adhered to from now on that perhaps there should be a forum that is accessible to forum members only, and of a specified age. Restricting people from saying what they need to / feel they want to because of what someone 'might' see seems a little wrong to me.

Sounds like the best plan of action Nesf. I'm hoping that one day this will all somehow get easier!!

If it was decided that moderators couldn't moderate on threads they were involved in it'd go back to having moderators that just 'existed'!! How would anyone be able to be involved in the forum or discussions if they can't be involved in what they moderate?! I don't get that logic. We'd end up with moderators who no one knew anything about :/

I was meaning for any of us, no matter where we are on the spectrum. Lack of formal support seemed to be a key feature in what I'd read since diagnosis, for those of us diagnosed in adulthood. So, I was interested in what others thought about the topic, given that we're all located in different parts of the country (or in fact, other countries in some instances).

Totally agree with what you're saying Darkshine. If we never get anything 'wrong' we'd not appreciate what we'd learnt along the way.