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About Nesf

  • Rank
    Scafell Pike
  • Birthday 04/27/1971

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  • Interests
    Languages, progressive rock, sci fi

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657 profile views
  1. When I was in my teens I also used to try to fit in by hanging out with people who were very different and get very upset when I couldn't relate to them or they rejected me. Trying too hard to make friends with someone is a mistake - I think you need to see what they are like first, ask them what they like doing and for their opinions on things which matter to you and if you think you have something in common with them you can pursue the friendship. In the past I've made friends online who've become friends in real life through forums, if you have a special interest you may be able to find an online forum for the interest with people in your local area you can meet.
  2. If you have researched it and think you have it, and your psychiatrist thinks you have it, then you probably do - good luck with your diagnosis!
  3. Good luck Kitty, I hope your next appointment goes well!
  4. I particular liked her remark about the cavemen sitting round the fire socialising and the guy with Asperger's making a spear :-)
  5. This panicky feeling that I don't want to talk to people doesn't happen all the time, just when I go out for a walk because this is something I do when I want to be alone and I resent the intrusion - though I don't know why I feel panic when there's absolutely no danger to me. I feel that way about entering shops, too when I know the assistant may come up and talk to me and I just want to browse. I think I need to know in advance I'm going to meet people and prepare for it in my head. I'm also very relunctant to go to meetings or events on my own where I don't know anyone. I once had a summer job in a fast food restuarant. You might imagine it must be one of the worst jobs because of noise, multitasking and queues of customers, but actually it wasn't like that. They had me on fries for hours on end so I was doing the same task over and over again, it was drudgery - every member of staff was assigned to one specific task, and it wasn't usually that busy. I also have a couple of long distance friends, but most people I know are acquaintances, there have been very few people in my life I could call friends. Friendship is very difficult to define... when does someone stop being an acquaintance and become a friend? Are there specific criteria? I don't think so, I think most people sense some kind of intimacy with that person that they don't have with mere aquaintances. I often find it hard to know where I stand in my relationships with others. When I was a kid I used to think that if someone talked to you they were your friend, now I know that it's much more complicated than that. Oakers, I don't know why people find tattoos so intimidating. Again, it's down to stereotyping and generalisations - I know a couple of people with tattoos and I don't think it's such a big deal.
  6. I find it hard to approach strangers... sometimes I go out walking alone but meeting a stranger triggers a flight response, I know this is a bad thing and I don't know why it happens, but it makes it very hard to meet new people. I'm very self-absorbed, and past experience has taught me to be wary of people.
  7. just goes to show you can never judge people by their appearance :-)
  8. It's certainly easier if you have something in common to talk about. Unfortunately rarely meet anyone in real life who shares my interests, the best I can do is online forums. I also find it harder with people I don't know.
  9. It is often said that people with AS/ASD talk obsessively about their interests and don't know when to stop talking, but I'm the opposite, I don't talk about my interests unless it comes up in conversation and even avoid talking about them so as not to draw negative attention to myself. I find it hard to join in conversations, especially if there are many in the group. The conversation goes too fast, by the time I've thought of something to say the conversation has moved on and I don't get to say what I want. Banter and jokes are especially difficult. I find myself unable to speak and tune out all the time and sit there silently. I feel detached, as if I were watching TV. I often tune out completely and start daydreaming. Of course, this is an example of the many stereotypes that exist about AS/ASD, and no two people are the same, though the only two people I've ever met and known to be on the spectrum did talk excessively. How about you? Would you describe yourself as quiet or loud? Here's an article I found on the subject http://miss-behave.hubpages.com/hub/Different-types-of-people-with-Aspergers-Syndrome
  10. Nesf

    AS crash

    I think it's normal and common to crash when you realise you have AS and you shouldn't feel bad about it. When I first found out I felt that my life had been an illusion because I didn't realise that I'm neurologically different to other people, and I needed to discover who I really am. I just thought any problems I was having were down to my inadequacies and failures as a person. I wanted the official diagnosis because that was the only way I could ever accept myself for who I am but when I got told officially I have it I also went through a period of grief and bitterness and self - pity, mainly for my lost childhood. It comes as a shock at first when you first realise, it is a lot of information to assimilate and it takes time to digest, but I'm sure it will get easier as time goes by and you learn more about yourself. I also hand flap and get up and run round the room when I'm excited, I no longer try to suppress this, it's part of who I am, and on more than one occasion I've been told that I need a hearing test because I don't tune into people when they first start speaking, also have face blindness... I used to feel really bad and inadequate, and sometimes still do, but it's been much easier to deal with since knowing the reason behind these things, I can finally stop blaming myself so much.
  11. Yes, I have them and use them sometimes but they aren't very comfortable and if someone calls me I can't hear them.
  12. Plenty of snow here in rural Northumberland, even got snowed in a while.
  13. Nesf

    BEER ?

    I like a glass of beer, lager or wine with a meal but don't drink the harder stuff.
  14. Nesf


    Children screaming really gets to me too, as does whistling, especially between fingers - it's torture!
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