Nesf

Hi and welcome! Things must be very tough for you, I hope your diagnosis will help you to cope with the challenges you and your family are facing.

Jeans, T-shirt, fleece. I feel the cold a lot and like warm, loose fitting clothing. I don't like synthetic clothing and wool makes me itch, In fact, all clothing can make me itch, but wool is a lot worse. I like practical, comfortable clothing and don't ever wear high heels or skirts. Fashion doesn't interest me at all.

I'm also the only one in my family. The psychiatrist who diagnosed me said that it could have been caused by placental difficulties in the womb.

^I think that people in authority will always try to assert domination over others, and most bosses will do this - this would be a problem for me because I don't like being dominated and bossed around, I much prefer to be independent and left to my own devices. Also in an office environment there is always a lot of complex unwritten rules, as well as wrangling and politics which I don't get and I can't do. These are the main things that worry me, as well as possible unwanted noise and distractions such as radios in the workplace, and lack of control over the environment. If you are self employed you can regulate your own environment. I agree with what you say about being honest - if I'm asked if I have any medical conditions they need to know about I'll have to tell them, I can't say no because that would be a lie. On the other hand, if they don't ask me I really don't know whether I am obliged to disclose by volunteering the information, particularly if it's a job where I can work independently on my own and my AS won't be so obvious or affect my performance... that's the real dilemma for me.

This is true - NTs do stim when they are anxious. But I think that autistic people often stim in a more obvious or unusual way, and get something different out of it - it can be to soothe anxiety or it can help to regulate sensory input.

I'm hygenically clean, but messy. I always have books, CDs, papers and stuff scattered around the house. If I can't see a practical point to something I won't do it, making my bed in the morning, for example - I do it before I go to bed. If I see that something needs to be done I'll do it, but I won't do do it just for the sake of routine when really it doesn't need doing.

^I'm having this dilemma at the moment as I really need to find some work and I don't now whether I should disclose my diagnosis or not. I think that if they disclose it no one will want to hire me, and I really need the income. I can fake being NT to some extent, but they'll notice my various difficulties at some point, I get stressed and frustrated easily, can't control my emotions well and then it shows through. I think that if you could start up your own business it would be a better option, you are in control and you're not at the mercy of a boss. Good luck with that!!

^Yes, there is some negative stuff out there which can affect employment, that's why I would only recommend you get a diagnosis if it is severely affecting your life. But don't forget that there are also positive aspects such as punctuality and attention to detail. It's possible that you may want to consider a career change if your job doesn't suit you, and an AS/ASD diagnosis will help you discover your strengths and weaknesses. If you go for an assessment and receive your diagnosis, the clinician can suggest various treatment options such as CBT or Interpersonal Therapy which the GP can refer you for as well as antidepressants.

This is exactly what has happened to me... to get back to the original post, I think that whether you choose to seek a diagnosis or not depends on how severely you think it is affecting your life. If you feel that it's affecting you severely and you need outside support, or that it will help you overcome your problems, I think that it would be a good idea to see your GP and ask for a referral. The GP's decision to refer you, and ultimately your diagnosis may also depend on to what degree your life is being affected.

I get up and run from one side of the room to another. I flap my hands I pace I scratch at spots on my face and pick off the skin on my lips (I hate myself doing this but can't stop it.) I make the cursor on my computer "dance" by making circular movements with the mouse. I bite the inside of my cheek.

I understand your dilema. Is your friend aware of the risks of going there? I think you should talk to her and make sure she's aware of the risks involved. You could go together to talk to a medical expert about it and get advice as to whether you should travel and how to do so in safety, it will help you make a decision.

Yes, I do this too, it certainly helps.

Yes - I hate this too - I find it very intrusive and if this happens I leave the shop without buying anything. It puts me off going into small shops, I feel really uncomfortable. I also hate hate being watched and scrutinised, it often takes me a while to decide what I want and I dislike being hurried. I think the sepermarket is the less of two evils.

Not maintaining eye contact is not a necessary criterium for an AS diagnosis, though it is a supporting one ;-)

This is true - kids can achieve academic success when they have a special interest in what they are studying, in my case languages. it is other areas they will lag behind in and have problems with, particularly the social aspects of school and university, and later on in employment. At least, this was my experience. All I can say is that I'm glad that my grades were based on written work and not oral presentation.

Shopping malls are a lot worse than town centres. I'm a bit claustraphobic too and I hate crowds. This Christmas I did a lot of shopping online and avoided the crowds.

I got physics, biology and German O level grade A, French, chemistry, English language, English literature, maths grade B, Spanish GCSE grade A, English literature A level grade D (I hated this subject and was no good at it, taking it was a big mistake), French grade B and German grade A. I went on to get a university degree and a Master's. I had problems with exams because I was slow to complete the tasks and always ran out of time, I found it hard to work to deadlines. I just can't think fast. and have to read questions three or four times to understand and absorb the information. Also, I can't write fast, and my handwriting is awful. And I'm easily distracted. Luckily there are fewer distractions in the exam room than in a normal classroom and I did better than my teachers expected, especially in maths.

This is exactly what happened, I had known the friend for a while before I lent her the money, and come to trust her. Now I do what SpecialTalent said and tell people I don't have money to spare, or that it's nothing personal but I have a policy of neither borrowing nor lending money. It not so much the fact that I didn't get the money back that bothered me, if she has problems and can't pay me it back just yet I can understand, it's more the fact that she hid from me and didn't contact me.

Yes, I've learnt my lesson as far as so-called friends and money are concerned. I don't expect her to ever pay me the money back. I'm sure there must be some genuinely kind people out there, but they are far and few between. And as I said before, it's difficult to know who is genuine and who isn't. This has always been a problem for me, I've made many mistakes.

Yes, it's a tradeoff. They aren't very comfortable but you get used to them and at least I can get some sleep.

Yes, I have those, and ear plugs!! They help, though I find the elastic going round the back of my head quite annoying, and they can slip off.

I find that it's better in the winter but in summer it's a big problem because of the light coming into my room early in the morning, even with thick curtains.

Oakers, something like that happened to me, too. I lent a friend some money, she disappeared off to Italy and I haven't heard from her for months. I'm getting tired of being treated like a doormat, it's hard to know who's a genuine friend and who isn't, perhaps I'm being too cynic on this one, but I'm beginning to think real friendship doesn't exist and that people just form connections with others for their own personal gain.

Oakers, it's bad enough not sleeping, but if you have pain too it must be really bad. For me 6 hours sleep is a good night's sleep.

Yes, I've always felt like that, the oddball, not fitting in, being rejected and left out. At school I used to fear being asked by the teacher to "pair up" because often no one would want to work with me. I've always feared rejection and used to get upset when left out especially in my teens, now I've come to accept that I will always be a bit different to my peers.