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GRP1919

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About GRP1919

  • Rank
    Salisbury Hill
  • Birthday 03/17/1984

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Stowmarket, Suffolk, England, UK
  • Interests
    Travelling and touring

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    Politics & Economics

    Fiction & Creative Arts

    Pets e.g. dogs and cats

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  1. Hello Lynda,

     

    I noticed it was over a year ago when you last visited this forum, so I just thought I’d drop you a line and say that I hope things have been alright at your end :)I remember when I used to see threads and responses of yours on this forum quite frequently, which were interesting, it was nice to have you to chat to, and it would be nice to hear from you again some time :)

     

    All the very best,

    Gareth

    :)

     

     

  2. GRP1919

    Hello all

    Hello there I’d like to begin by giving you a very warm welcome to this forum. It’s not hard for me to understand where you’re coming from, under what you say in your thread. I’m now thirty-two years old and was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome (AS) at the age of seven, all the way back in the early nineties, when the condition was almost unheard of. The support I received throughout school was only minimal, and unsurprisingly, I left school with barely one foot on the ladder of my aspirations. Getting the glass no more than half-full has been a very long and painful process. Even today, after everything I’ve been through, I can only perceive that I still have both a long way to go and far more to learn, even though I finally managed to complete a degree course early last year. For example, the support available for my personal and social development is very limited and hard-obtained. I don’t know about you, but I’ve always found that one of my key strengths is presenting my true needs and emotions etc. to other people in writing. This usually proves really effective for me, so I just thought it may help you to get closer to your true ambitions in life. You can feel free to contact me whenever it may suit you. You can use whatever language with which you may feel comfortable. All the very best, Gareth
  3. ...deeply regret all of this now It was a little over three years ago when I finally came to realise just how lovely and interesting a person she truly is She is just a great comfort to me at the worst of times Another thing I would like to tell you is that despite my deep, dark, isolated, stormy and turbulent past, at which I have hinted, things are now noticeably better for me. It is now almost a year since I managed to complete a degree course at last I am now determined to keep my nose clean, steering abundantly clear of trouble, for the rest of my life, in spite of (or perhaps because of) my blatantly unfortunate choices of friends from the age of sixteen to the age of nineteen. Whilst I acknowledge that the truth for me is that there is no taking a bright future for granted, I am still confident that I am on the right track for the brightest future possible for me. I would therefore not lose hope for your son's future, despite the difficulty you are facing in seeking the ideal support for his special needs as an Asperger. Maybe - just maybe - your ideal next step would be to remember the subjects in which your son has most frequently aroused a clear interest, investigate corresponding opportunities for your son, share the subjects with the teaching staff at the school(s) he could attend, and see if they can identify any links between your son's favourite subjects and what is covered in the classroom in his school year. I just thought that maybe this would cause your son to feel more positive about school, and possibly reassure him that attending school will broaden his horizons for pursuing his favourite subjects and support him in preserving the prospects of his favourite subjects :robbie: You see, one thing I understand from my experience of life on the autistic spectrum is that autistic people like your son may need extra reassurance when it comes to what you say about your "trying everything to make him happy and build his confidence," especially when they are still growing up. You are more than welcome to contact me about anything you please and whenever it may suit you. You can use whatever language you may feel comfortable with. Best wishes, Gareth
  4. Hello there, My name is Gareth, I will be thirty-two in March and was formally diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) at the age of seven. From your story of your son with AS, as well as my own memories of life on the autistic spectrum as a youth, I can fully understand where your son is coming from. Even though my family and I found champion in a community-based clinical psychiatrist, in the process of my formal diagnosis, the biggest problem of all for us was that AS was almost unheard of all the way back then in 1991. Even the average healthcare professional then had very little (if any) realisation of AS and its prevalence. Many of the teachers, including my own, at the mainstream school I was attending at the time were just clueless, as well as very frequently and heavily anxious over the problems my personal and social differences were noticeably causing at school, especially in the classroom. What with my very frequent self-absorption at the time, I very seldom focused on the displays of low-spirited emotions on the parts of my teachers and peers, remaining obsessed with things in my sights in which I sought pride and comfort etc. My attitude towards school did, however, vary from day to day. For example, there were some days when I so went bananas, causing great disarray, especially amongst my peers. On the other hand, there were also days when I attended school no more than half-heartedly, but did not cause any noticeable scenes. Conversely, there were other days when I would attend school with noticeably high spirits, without responding with pathos to exploitation from peers. Even though I very frequently thought at the time that I was happy as a sand boy, what with my then inclination to look predominantly on the bright side of my life routines, I was emotionally at war with others on myriad occasions, throwing heated emotions at even my own immediate family possibly once a day on average. The solution to this ongoing conundrum was a very long and painful process. When I was roundabout your son's age, there were myriad occasions when I felt like avoiding school completely myself, as a result of very frequent and disgraceful exploitation from peers, but was just frightened of the trouble this would more-than-likely have landed me in. I do not know about your son, but I am the youngest of two siblings - I have a lovely, desirable sister two-and-a-half years my senior. Although I admit I took a very negative attitude towards her from the age of nine until the age of sixteen, as a result of being led astray by various life issues, I ever so...
  5. Hello Conor First of all, I would like to cordially welcome you to the forum. It is really nice to hear from you on here. I am thirty-one (b. March 1984), and was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) at the age of seven. You seem to have interests similar to mine, and I thought you might like to hear from me. You can contact me whenever it may suit you, and use whatever language with which you may feel comfortable. Best wishes, Gareth
  6. Hello there, My name is Gareth, I am thirty-one years old and was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) at the age of seven. Your story about the behavioural patterns of your seven year old daughter sound very familiar to me. For example, there were countless occasions when my mother would tell me not to forget 'pleases' and 'thank yous' before going to our then local shop on my own. In addition, I always needed full prompting to say "thank you for having me" when it was time to leave a friend's house, having been kindly invited there. I would not very easily understand the true intentions of subtleties with respect to such prompting. Likewise, what I was always inclined to do when it came to going round a friend's house was to insistently make my way straight in and focus on my desire to observe certain parts of the house, paying very little (if any) attention to the friend(s) to whom the house belonged. I was basically in a world of my own and, unlike other children, would not insistently give the friend(s) a sign of appreciation of their part in my life. Sometimes I would be fussy about the particular cup(s) in which I wanted a particular drink (and the particular level I would like it to be filled to etc.), and sometimes I would not be. I would therefore not be surprised if there were any such anomalies in the behavioural patterns of your seven year old daughter. No more would I be surprised if your daughter was formally diagnosed with AS, was she to undergo any such clinical assessment. You see, it was a clinical psychiatrist who formally diagnosed me with AS on conclusion of a formal and comprehensive assessment of my personal traits and characteristics etc. Please let me know if this story of mine is of any help or interest to you.
  7. GRP1919

    quick hello

    Hello Linda, How lovely to hear from you. My name is Gareth, I am thirty years old and was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome (AS) at the age of seven. You say your son with AS is sixteen. I can never forget how disadvantaged I was at sixteen and that is one memory I simply never miss. You also say your son is intending to study creative media in September, so I thought you might like to know that I am a huge lover of fiction and creative arts. Examples of the ones I value are The Forsyte Saga (John Galsworthy), The Stranger’s Child (Alan Hollinghurst) and the old television sitcom To The Manor Born (starring Penelope Keith and Peter Bowles). I am currently studying for a degree in Tourism Management. I have long held a great passion for both travel and tourism. I particularly enjoy things like countryside rambling, investigating natural heritage and touring museums. My two favourite UK tourist destinations are Hampshire and Dorset. How is your son getting on at school? I hope his school life has been better than mine was. Does your son have any friends, at all? You can reply to this or send me a private message whenever it may suit you. You can use whatever language you may feel comfortable with. Kind regards, Gareth.
  8. Hello there, My name is Gareth. I am twenty-nine and was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) at the age of seven. From the experiences of your daughter's activity that you have summarised, I am sure beyond all reasonable doubt that your daughter is autistic. I cannot say with any certainty, however, that she actually has AS. Her condition could, on the other hand, be Higher Functioning Autism (HFA). As far as the issue of your daughter's being completely different at school, receiving excellent reports, it could be that one of her irresistable obsessions, as a key characteristic of the lower end of the autistic spectrum, is taking a very meek and sensible attitude, thus applying strict moral principles to practice. I do remember that I took a very tight approach to my own behavioural patterns in certain contexts at certain times, as a child and youth. For example, when we went out to places like country fairs for the day, as a family (I have a sister 2½ years my senior), I insisted that each and every one of us took a clearly serious attitude and did not start making jokes or giggling etc, taking tones that were quite heavily stilted and insisting on formalities. I use to take an attitude of saying things like "Today, we must do this and tomorrow, we must do that!" and "This can be done only in here and that can be done only in there!" and if anybody defied these so-called standards of mine, I got really freaked out and tearful and adamantly perceived that I had reached the end of the line. Do you know: I have not thought so much about it until this exchange between us. It is interesting what new alerts can enable me to remember sometimes. Personally, I believe in formal diagnoses through formal psychiatric assessments, rather than self-diagnoses. It may be a good idea for you to tell your or your daughter's GP that you, as just 'her parents' and nobody else, would like her to be referred for a formal assessment and, potentially, a formal diagnosis. Since you are her parents and she is 13, thus having more growing up to come, you obviously hold the freedom of placing certain decisions entirely in your hands. You could always tell your daughter very kindly that you would like to sit down and talk to her for a while and thus take an opportunity to pass her a full and firm reassurance that you will do everything you can to ensure that the health professionals concerned will take a nice, soft and gentle attitude towards her and that her true needs and emotions will be taken into account. You see, it was a clinical psychiatrist who formally diagnosed me with AS at the age of seven. I remember my appointments with him and those with his colleague always went really well and did not cause me distress or timidity. I am sure there will be a solution of some kind to the problems you have encountered from trying to reason with your daughter over meeting health professionals. Whatever happens, or whenever so, I just want you to remember that you have always got me there for you, keeping an insistently benevolent eye on you. From my experiences with my own family, I can fully understand just what kinds and degrees of support you truly need in addressing the highly complex and unfamiliar needs of your daughter. You are more than welcome to contact me (by private message, if you prefer it) whenever it may suit you. You can use whatever kind(s) of language you happen to feel comfortable with. Kind regards, Gareth.
  9. GRP1919

    Newbie

    Hello Bodhi (or whatever you prefer) It's so nice to hear from you on here You've shared some interesting stories about your 12 year old son and I thank you for sharing these. I'm now 29 plus and was formally diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome by a clinical psychiatrist, at the age of 7. My personal and social development has been a very long and painful process and I anticipate this continuing for many more years to come. I'm now in my final yards of a "Foundation Degree (FdA) in Travel and Tourism Management" and I can hardly tell you just how much of a struggle this course has truly been for me. It has long been with only hindsight that I have managed to work things out in life itself. Still, I may have a very high mountain to climb, but I'm now confident that I'm on the right track for reaching the very top of it It's now a matter of being wary and vigilant of potential hazards that can easily materialise into actual hazards. I understand that there are many hidden traps between my current spot and the very top of this very high mountain, so not only do I have to watch and tread exceptionally carefully, I have to have my wits about me at all times! There could, indeed, be any moment when I'm most suddenly forced to run for my life! From my personal experience, it may be of some help to your 12 year old Aspie son if you were to request a meeting with the headteacher of his school and say that you would like a full and firm reassurance that your son will not have to live in fear of any personal exploitation or attack within the school premises. Such a meeting may be a good opportunity for you to clearly advise the headteacher (and anybody else present) of your son's excessive fears of approaching the school in the morning, as part of his special needs (apologies if I've missed the point). It may be possible for the school to get one of the staff members to look out for him on the playground, so they will be there to avert any inappropriate or unacceptable behaviour towards him. When I was a child, I use to have a passion for writing invented stories. If your son holds any interest in this, perhaps he could write some stories about his imaginary school days, how he would like things to be at school and then share them with the school staff team. In that case, the headteacher might say: "Okay, I'll see what I can do." Or if you consider the issue critical, you could even write to your MP. That sure would test the conscience of such a senior community representative. You are more than welcome to make contact with me (by private message if you prefer it) whenever it may suit you. You can use whatever kind of language you feel comfortable with and I won't be offended, I promise. Kind regards, Gareth.
  10. Hello Dr. G-nome! Your topic is very interesting Personally, I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) at 7 by a clinical psychiatrist and am now 29. First of all, do you think you could tell me what "OH", "DS" and "DD" stand for? I was just interested. Just to let you know, they do not allow the submission of surnames on this forum, so you will need to miss them out. To be honest, my life is far from simple nowadays. I often struggle to get to the bottom of mysteries I can feel in my heart and on my conscience, but can hardly work out. I usually only work them out with hindsight, with lots of nasty smog surrounding me during the actual process. In addition, I am struggling to get onto the employment ladder at the moment and still have some unfinished business on a foundation degree course on which I have also been struggling over the past two years. The support I received for my special needs at school was only minimal AS was almost unheard of when I was originally diagnosed and a thorough analysis and assessment found that the best school available for me at the time was a boarding school that was purpose-run primarily for emotionally-disturbed children and youths. The support available for Aspies at that school was very limited and I was basically growing up with the wrong people in the wrong environments. The key advantage of that school was that there were qualified speech and language therapists you simply could not then expect to find in mainstream schools. Even so, this meant that my special needs were only partially addressed in all the 7½ long years I was consistently there. Unsurprisingly, I have since developed depression, which became severe, lessened and soared again Despite the extraordinary academic progress I have managed to make since leaving school at 16, I am often inclined to remind myself that there is no room for complacency and that I still have a long way to go before I can reach my prime lifetime achievement. In addition, I am still living at home with my parents with no clear prospects of flying the nest at last. Nevertheless, I certainly do believe that these potential hard-won achievements are possible over the long term. What I am implying is that I can never leave them to chance or take them for granted, come what may. This is why I often strive on my personal and social development (and sometimes go to excessive lengths in doing so). It would be really nice to hear from you some time. You can send me a private message, if you prefer it, and use whatever language you feel comfortable with. Kind regards, Gareth.
  11. No need to apologise, smileyK. Nice to hear from you, at all I can fully understand how stressful things may have been for you lately. I'm now approaching the end of the 2-year programme of my Foundation Degree (FdA) in Travel & Tourism Management. Even now, I still can't see a light at the end of the tunnel and the work load often plays havoc with my social life. There's a programme I'm undergoing with a local service of mine called 'Autism Success Formula', which has already proved successful for quite a lot of people, considering it's a relatively new scheme. The man who runs the scheme is a former headteacher of autistic children. My mum has known him for years - she met him through her own career as a headteacher. You can reach the organisation at "www.autismsuccessformula.co.uk" and they might know of a similar scheme in your home community that could be of help to your career. After all, you sound as though you are doing very well with your career development, you should be very proud of yourself and I'm very proud of you. Your forthcoming holiday in sunny Turkey will be a good opportunity for you to relax, refresh and recharge your batteries for your future I hope you and your family enjoy yourselves there. Don't forget: whatever happens, you've always got me here for you, and you can contact me about whatever you like whenever you like with a private message. All the best, Gareth
  12. Hello nelladonna (or whichever you prefer)! It's so nice to hear from you on here. I'm 29 and was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) at 7. This may sound like a nice and early diagnosis that enabled early intervention, but the massive problem for me and my family was that the condition was almost unheard of at the time. Throughout my school years, the support I received for my special needs was only minimal, so I'm no stranger to what your daughter's been through. I used to think that because of the way my special needs were often so disgracefully exploited at school, I faced a hefty life sentence. Nevertheless, I'm now managing to gradually brighten my days over time and gradually emerge (with some zigzagging and twirling) onto the right track. I therefore have high hopes for your daughter and her future. I adamantly believe that she has better opportunities for personal and social development than I had as a child and youth. If you consider the issue critical, it may be a good idea to write to your MP. This may be a good first step onto a campaign to get your views heard. You can contact me about whatever you like, whenever you like and use whatever language you feel comfortable with. Kind Regards Gareth.
  13. There's something you might be interested in that's based in Ipswich, Suffolk. This is called "Autism Success Formula" and can be found at: http://www.autismsuccessformula.co.uk I've begun to participate in this and it really does look promising from here. Anyway, you can contact me about whatever you like, whenever you like. Kind Regards Gareth.
  14. GRP1919

    Hello

    Hello Bianca I thank you for your new topic! It's so nice to hear from you You share a very interesting story. I've just turned 29 and was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) at 7. My personal and social development so far has been a very long and painful process! Even today, I often feel that no matter how much information I share with other people, they only ever partially understand my true needs and emotions and so only partially manage to address them correctly. I simply can't tell you just how devastating and heartbreaking this truly is for me! I can therefore understand just how difficult things truly are for your son and just how vulnerable this can truly make him feel. What I would like to reassure you is that you and your family have nothing to be ashamed of amongst yourselves. It is more than likely that other people, including school teachers, are failing to address the true needs of your son, having not done what they should have done. It may be a good idea for you to complain about this to your local authorities if you consider such personal efforts of others unsatisfactory. You could even write to your MP if you consider the issue critical. Whatever happens, I sincerely hope your son never suffers the same misfortunes I have done. I'm sure beyond all reasonable doubt that your son has better opportunities for specialist personal and social development than I had as a child and youth. I'm sure you and the rest of your family have ever so much to offer your son You sound like a very caring and responsible person and I'm very proud of you. You can contact me about whatever you like, whenever you like. It would be so nice to hear from you again. You can send me a private message if you like. Best wishes, Gareth.
  15. I don't feel very popular @tm :'( What should I do?

    1. Merry

      Merry

      Not popular with Who? Don't be glum, chum! Maybe wanna write about it in a thread? We could talk more that way....and opens it up for others to help you... :)

    2. GRP1919

      GRP1919

      Whenever I feel that I've found the right people to make friends with, it turns out in the end that they want nothing to do with me whatsoever :'-( I'm only trying to be careful with my choice of friends and taking my time and effort to find the right people. I simply can't tell you just how devastated and heartbroken this has truly left me :'-(

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