Echo

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Thanks for your posts guys and gals. I'm happy to say that I have a PT job now as a studio engineer (due to start in October). Luckily, I went nowhere near the Job Centre. I aquired the post through doing work experience for my degree. The owner of the studio was so impressed with my knowledge and capabilities that he did not want to miss out on a chance to work with me again So, he decided to employ me. Seeto200, you haven't offended me, it's ok Every opinion is appreciated as I can only see things from my perspective unless other people tell me what their feelings are etc...

Hi Aviemorticia and welcome to the forum

Hi Seeto200 and welcome to the forum.

Hi Ashley and welcome Have you read: "22 things a woman with Asperger's Syndrome wants her partner to know"? I think that this is a good place to start in understanding AS from a woman's point of view. Hope that you get the support that you want, K

Dale Carnegie - How to make friends and influence people

Repeated post - internet playing up sorry

My favourite games are sci-fi or horror orientated (apart from RPG's - Saints Row, Sleeping Dogs etc... which are my main form of escapism). As long as I can fully see the character and control the camera with the character as a point of orientation, I'm fine. Otherwise, rather than anxious, I get motion sickness pretty much straight away. This is a pain in general, but I tend to hire a lot of games, which do not indicate on the cover whether they are first-person or not. So, not only do I feel ill, I also feel: disappointed and that I have wasted my money. Some other games such as: Metal Gear Solid, the Lego games and Final Fantasy also make me ill (especially the fighting scenes) because of the type of graphics and colours used to make them. The jumping around, my depth perception...all play a part. That's one of the reasons why I believe that I have SPD as well as AS, ADHD and Dyslexia. I can relate to the panic attack which caused your agoraphobia problem (I won't go into too much detail now as it is a fairly painful experience to explain at the moment. Sometime in the near future maybe). But, I wanted to let you know that you're not alone

Hi Gold, Don't feel too bad that you've let this happen to you (despite other peoples' warnings). From what I can gather (and from personal experience), people on the spectrum can feel really guilty, anxious and embarrassed when something like this takes a hold on our lives. So, stay positive and remember that: this is NOT your fault. What she has been doing is a form of bullying. So, it will take some time for you to transition to a "place" (state of mind) where you can feel safe/confident again (able to leave the house without feeling anxious or ill - been there - actually, still struggling myself a little - but, that's another story). SO, it's true to say that: I too have encountered the same kind of people throughout my life and have let situations like yours take place out of my own impulsiveness, naivety, immaturity etc... For a long time I believed that no-one lies, have let people take my kindness for granted, persuade me into doing things I really didn't want to do etc... Although this still occurs (due to my personality traits and lack of understanding of people to an extent), I do not let these situations escalate out of control anymore ("touch wood").

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Hi Gold You may not want to hear this, but this is what I truly believe (after having read your latest post). Any decision you make after reading this is yours. I do not intend to cause any offence/embarrassment or force you into doing something that you don't want to do, so feel free to ignore what I have written: This is a vicious cycle that you really needed to break-out of because: (from what I can see) things were only going to get worse if you allowed this sort of behaviour to carry on. What you have written shows a destructive progression that would have ultimately: landslide even more out of control. I also believe, that you were: putting yourself in a very dangerous position. Not so much in regards to money/DLA etc...but, in regards to the law (and what reads to be: a dangerous obsession, with her, your main point of focus -- at the time). She, (if she felt so inclined) could have hypothetically: presented the same information (from her perspective) to the Police (she has threatened this before). Although technically, she was committing both financial and emotional abuse against you, you may not have had a leg to stand on (unless you have a valid form of proof that this has been happening to you) if she decided to press charges against you for stalking... (remember: you have given her ample "proof" that she can use against you in court, as: Facebook/Bebo... saves messages and her friends/witnesses will also take her side in any proceedings if they are called upon to say that you had been looking for her after she said she wasn't interested and had moved...). So, as I said before: you need to stay out of this situation (for many reasons - even the ones that you haven't picked up on yourself yet). It's a very painful process (believe me) but it really does sound like: you and Laura "aren't meant to be", no matter how much you miss her. If you can get your stuff back - (small claims court- through someone else etc) - great! But, be extremely careful of your next move (as I've said already, she may have enough ammunition to turn this situation on its head). Otherwise, change your phone number, don't let her into your house, block her from your social networking sites and move on - no contact. I am sure that you will find someone who loves you for you, not for your money - someone who is fun, trustworthy ans shares some of your interests - It's possible!!! So, battle on soldier

Hi Gold MD So, you've taken the first positive steps - recognizing what's going on and deciding not to let it happen again. Now you can move on with your life. Although I'm not very good at giving people advice, I do feel that a rant on this thread might do you some good (getting it out of your system once and for all). Others on this forum may be able to offer better help and support than me (when they are given a fuller picture of what's been going on). It's a shame to hear that you have been subjected to this kind of abuse and I do hope that things will get better for you.

- Batman - Rocks!!!

Hi and welcome to the forum. I'm from North Wales and am currently waiting for my Diagnostic Assessment date to be confirmed. If it turns out that I have AS, I will be contacting you shortly.

+1

Avenged Sevenfold - Dear God

Hi Nippy, Usually every Sunday, I return to my childhood home for dinner (to see both Mother and Father - as well as the dog). I thought that it was a good idea to leave it a week (so, I didn't go last weekend). Although still a "tad" angry with her, I may be able to talk to her today. I'm going to gague how I feel in her presence first before saying anything. If my anger builds-up inside: I will refrain from saying a thing because: I know that she will turn it into a heated debate and my inability to control what will inevitably come out of my mouth will make matters worse (prehaps describing the mountain out of a molehill situation here). If it is "safe" I will have to ask her: what have I done or haven't done? Why doesn't she trust me? Is this because of what semone else has done? Is she jealous of my relationship with the dog? etc... Although, I do not really feel comforabtle in that street at all at the moment. I guess what gets me the most is that: I was a college tutor (I was trusted with all kinds of responsibility and did my job really well), I am the only one of her children to succeed creatively, accademically...(all fields, except: socially - not that she would notice as she is completely socially inept)...O, no - my anger's coming out again! I've got to leave this for now and go for a bath.

Yes, can safely say that this "sounds" like me Thanks for the "heads-up". Now I can talk to the psychologist about SPD issues when I have my first assessment session. Cheers

Hi Sally, Thanks for the reply. I remember commenting on a post about escalators before and have found a few threads on issues with computer games and films (a coincidence that Blair Witch Project was mentioned back then too?) and have seen a short film about Aspergers/Autism and buses. Although I feel that a few people on here have the same problems (gained a sense of unity) it didn't really explain much to me. Sensory Processing Disorder? Never heard of it before, I'll do some research in a bit. Thanks again. Any other ideas, comments etc are still welcome

Hi all I really love computer games and films, but...I cannot play first person games or watch films such as: Blair Witch Project or Cloverfield, for more than five minutes without feeling really ill (motion sickness, pins and needles, twitching, hard to breathe, think, function...). Is this an "aspie" trait? And, if so (or not): How many others experience the same kind of symptoms? I have the same problems with escalators and travelling on buses (which have now turned into phobias). Another thing I have noticed, is that I cannot give any eye-contact or speak to people properly for over about 5 hrs after having been working on a computer or having been listening to music. Is this NT, AS or completely unusual behaviour? It would be really interesting to read your responses to this post as I really need your help. Not so much to play games (although, it would be nice ), but mainly with travelling on buses (as I do not drive and live in a fairly rural area - I have anxiety about driving too, but, that's another story ). Thanks for reading, K

It should be (the amount of time I spend researching, working and re-working it)! LOL

Hi Chris, Welcome to the forum Sorry for the disjointed (and long) way that this is written (haven't quite woken-up properly yet). Still, I rant I am currently waiting for my Dx (diagnostic assessment). However, I am 100% confident that I have Aspergers, Dyslexia (which I have a full report on), ADHD (which I have a provisional diagnosis for) and Dyspraxia (a mild form which I have a provisional diagnosis for) . I have always found disclosure to be a good thing (apart from when I apply for employment). However, I do regularly experience the problem you have highlighted above. For example: I'm currently on a degree course. I informed my personal tutor (and program leader) about my possible Aspergers from the very beginning. I felt very comfortable at first that he understands the possible difficulties, talents and other traits associated with the syndrome, having been told that he used to work at a school for autistic children and later at a residential college for autistic adults. However, it is becoming increasingly clear, that this is not the case (although he ensures me that he does). The order of modules, Who will be teaching the modules, The deadlines for each task, The location of the sessions, Break times etc - Keep on changing I am being forced to take part in group-work every session (being reminded of clear communication and eye-contact all the time) I am being forced to present work to my peers each session (without enough time to prepare - I know my "stuff", but not how I need to say it on the spot concisely!) The way that the class-room is set-out - I always have a group of people sat behind me (also blocking my pathway to the door), the lights flicker and hum... All the other students are holding me back (as the way the course is set out - I always have to wait for the weakest-link/or downright lazy students to catch-up) The tutor is holding me back as well (organizing meetings - telling me not to start anything until he has spoken to me - cancelling the meeting - re-scheduling again for two weeks later - cancelling again, then telling me to crack on with the work as the deadline is approaching (despite the fact that I am the only one handing in work on time (or at all which has become apparent recently!), despite being the only one with any learning differences - only for this to change to allow an extra two months for the others to do the work - how is this fair?). This means that my organization and routine setting cannot be done and I am uncomfortable in the classroom/s (despite really enjoying the subject and learning) - at first, it was O.K, I had one assignment to do at a time, now I am battling to complete 4 (from different disciplines which are all academic, technical/practical and time/attention consuming). It is a PT course, now because of lack of understanding and organization (and because I am determined and a perfectionist), I am working more than full-time hours to complete the work. I have informed my tutor nicely about this. However, nothing is being done as he has to weigh up what other people want too - am I right to "feel" that the others have no right to have a say in what's going on as: it seems what I have to say is ignored, they haven't handed a single piece of work in and they (individually) only turn-up about 20% of the time (I have had a lecture delivered to only 3 out of 40 students most of the time - myself being one of the three)? You get the general idea. Although extremely frustrated, I am overall a happy bunny because I know that the work I am producing (on time and in less time than the others) is of a high quality (1st class). I will keep dropping little nuggets of information to my tutor, in case this will improve the situation I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing this problem (at any severity)

Hi Jordan and welcome to the community