brooke10

Sorry I did not respond back. I guess typical Aspie to disappear for a bit. However, just wanted to wish you all the best and hope that you're not letting the b*stards get you down! Definitely a move for the best.

That's terrible that they managed you out and in such an awful way. Sorry if I'm not quite getting this but not even employment law could protect you because this is clearly harassment and bullying? I was bullied very badly in one particular job and got a doctors note for stress until I had the strength to document everything and then go to the HR director with my complaint from which the outcome was a compromise agreement. Lucky to get out in this way but it was a terrible time and nearly destroyed me. However, in the end just fuelled me to go on to bigger and better things. I am sure you will get through this and as you say this will be a blessing in disguise. You do not need to put up with these awful people who will get their karma for sure.

Jack Most businesses (unfortunately there's always the 5% that don't want to be helped) would appreciate you..your accuracy and honesty would without doubt bring in results. Sounds like they were a bunch of weak b*stards with zero management skills and no conscience. Is this what it's like in government departments nowadays?! Onwards and upwards for you now. Makes me mad that they treated you like that, I would have backed you up and I'm sure most decent human beings would too Aspergers or not. Thanks for your post and all the best.

Don't apologise, I thought you put that very well! Shame I always have to wait for karma before I see people realising!!

Hey sorry for replying I try to help on this forum but feel like I just put my foot in it! Glad you joined us, I feel exactly the same and thanks x

Absolutely agree. I don't think it should be used as an excuse, it's like being left handed but in our thinking. We just have to adapt a bit and sometimes try harder to get on in everyday situations as our brains work a little differently to 'normal' people. My advice would be that if you can see no benefit from getting a formal diagnosis then don't get one. Employers rights or not..as far as I'm concerned if people in the workplace perceive any weakness then they'll use it against you somehow. Plus I don't want to be treated any differently and it also makes me good at my job! As far as family and friends knowing they just give me a bit of leeway if I don't say the right thing or have to leave a social situation because it's too overwhelming. They're starting to talk about it more in the media which is good but until they show it in more of a positive light I don't think it is something that I would freely tell people.

Absolutely agree. I don't think it should be used as an excuse, it's like being left handed but in our thinking. We just have to adapt a bit and sometimes try harder to get on in everyday situations as our brains work a little differently to 'normal' people. My advice would be that if you can see no benefit from getting a formal diagnosis then don't get one. Employers rights or not..as far as I'm concerned if people in the workplace perceive any weakness then they'll use it against you somehow. Plus I don't want to be treated any differently and it also makes me good at my job! As far as family and friends knowing they just give me a bit of leeway if I don't say the right thing or have to leave a social situation because it's too overwhelming. They're starting to talk about it more in the media which is good but until they show it in more of a positive light I don't think it is something that I would freely tell people.

Hi there, nice to meet you . Have you tried doing an online test? I'm no psychiatrist but I've read that if you think you have Aspergers then it's most likely that you do! Everyone has traits of autism but it's the degree of how extreme they are as to whether you are classed as on the "autism spectrum". Seems like you do face some difficulties common to that of Aspergers. With regards to a diagnosis I think it's a very positive thing on a personal level as I am a lot more forgiving of myself and it's also helped my family and friends be more understanding and forgiving. I would never tell an employer as I think it would just create prejudice toward me - unfortunately I think people in general assume that anything to do with mental difficulties means "stupid" and "weird". Hope that helps

Hi there, nice to meet you . Have you tried doing an online test? I'm no psychiatrist but I've read that if you think you have Aspergers then it's most likely that you do! Everyone has traits of autism but it's the degree of how extreme they are as to whether you are classed as on the "autism spectrum". Seems like you do face some difficulties common to that of Aspergers. With regards to a diagnosis I think it's a very positive thing on a personal level as I am a lot more forgiving of myself and it's also helped my family and friends be more understanding and forgiving. I would never tell an employer as I think it would just create prejudice toward me - unfortunately I think people in general assume that anything to do with mental difficulties means "stupid" and "weird". Hope that helps

Gina3 totally agree, some interesting posts here Yes I've had re-accurring dreams about my teeth falling out but I think that's down to years of orthodontic treatment! My main symptoms are over explaining myself and in too much detail, hyper sensitive to cold - need to be warm or I cannot function. Clothing I have to have many layers on and don't get on with dresses very well - especially frilly flappy ones. Prefer stretchy and plain. I can panic in crowded places especially if I'm with someone else. On my own I can focus a lot better and deal with it. Much prefer socialising 1 to 1 or in very small groups and with people who are non judgemental and have no agendas that make conversation stressful and complicated. Strong sense of morality and get riled about injustices in life. This is very positive as I'll passionately stick up for people but on the downside I get frustrated with people who just sit on the fence. I suppose this is part of the black and white thinking.

Hey, sorry for the lack of acknowledgement on here. I notice that not many of the posts on here get many replies if not any :-/. As Mel says it's probably the time of year as well. All part of Aspergers aswell as us lot just just don't know what the right thing to say half the time! Hope you are getting through Christmas OK at least not at work for a bit? Sounds like you're going through a tough time which was triggered by stress at work so perhaps some meds and counselling might help you get through the short term. Then that could help you get back into a routine and come up with a longer term strategy to find a job that suits you and you enjoy better? Sorry can't be of more help. It's really good that you have the support of a lovely girlfriend and have been lucky enough to have kids but with the big cloud of depression I know it's hard for even those things to get yourself out of it. I had a really terrible time early this year after being used and bullied by a horrid man but eventually after some medication and supportive friends/family I got myself out of it. Especially helped by one friend who told me that I had to have a word with myself to buck my ideas up..for me that really helped. All the best x

Sounds like you're doing a really good job of managing things. Finding an outlet in running is fab, and in a club there is a common interest there to chat to people about which makes things easier. I completely know what you mean about chit chat, I can do it for a while but my mind goes blank when the old repetoire of stock phrases and subjects runs out, liike the ones about the weather, holidays, health, blah blah blah...would much rather talk about something useful! I did read something that conversation is a bit like a tennis rally, to and fro until something interesting happens...thing is a lot of conversations ARE boring and I guess it's a case of accepting it, riding it out and taking it for what it is...one to tell myself during my next hairdresser appointment I think! Well, hope work isn't too hectic for you in the run up to Christmas. It's only Monday and I would like to hibernate for a week to recover!!

Thanks Tanya for your lovely reply :-) It would be great to make some friends on here and to hear more about you? xxx Scumble, yes I guess because I didn't know what it was for a number of years, I've developed coping strategies and can cope with a lot if not too tired. I tend to copy people and have lots of stock phrases up my sleeve. If something really confusing happens in a social situation I can go into a bit of a meltdown so I have to have a good excuse and escape! Thanks again

Hey there just wanted to say that I know where you're coming from! Done well in my career and am considered as quite abrupt and feisty at work. However, it does actually help me in what I'm doing! Hate meetings especially group ones and presentations but I guess like you were saying a lot of people have simliar feelings - I guess we have more extreme feelings and difficulties in situations. I love my work because it is straight forward and I know what is expected of me and there's a lot of office banter that is not too heavy to break it all up. I loved school also because of the rules and being involved in so many sports clubs helped me acquire friends. I have difficulty with friends now especially women friends as I am easily used and get really stressed with the politics which goes on amongst girls. I would say that I have 1 pop round for a tea friend (more like glass of wine though!) who is male. He understands me and doesn't judge me and has similar values. With women I seem to have fallen into friendships which are no good for me - involving jealousy from their side (something which I just don't get - if you want something go and get it through working hard, changing things, some effort?!) and them putting me down to make themselves feel good. I struggle with relationships because they are not straightforward and I need my space! Anyway, thanks for your post, great to hear about people of a similar age experiencing a similar world!!

Hi there Nice to hear from you and seems like you're a similar age to me. I'm 36 and have recently been diagnosed with Aspergers. I have lots of coping mechanisms in place now and am quite comfortable with who I am but its been a difficult process getting there. I still have my meltdowns (but very much more controlled!) and don't like socialising in groups plus work is a daily battle. However, I think I quite entertain people in the office with some of the random stuff that I come out with :-) Would be good to hear more about you..I don't think you'd bore anyone on here!