Waterboatman

Chest pain and breathing problems Something that I have had for some time, I call it the "wall" a rate of prolonged exertion that can not be exceeded, I used to be able to walk for miles at a slow speed. The "wall" is painful, having it start whilst lying down is not helpful, and can be frightening, sorry to say I have been visited by paramedics a few times. As a result of the last visit by a paramedic who had the 'kit' to check my heart, I now also use morphine in the form of "Oramorph" and "Indapamide" to lower my blood pressure. So when pain is bad I will use Tramadol during the day and Oramorph to sleep. Visitors? NAS next week and people from the council and housing association the week after, until I know what sought of support from the local council I am going to get there is not much I can do. It may be a case of me being moved into better adapted accommodation, I rather stay where I am, its quiet around here.

thought the workings of our selves, the brain in action, truly a labyrinth in structure.

Strange things that happen PIP has been awarded at the standard rate for "Daily Living component" and at the enhanced rate for the "Mobility component". This news came in the letter post after I made the above posting here. Stranger still, on ringing social services to inform them, and hopefully speed things up, I am eventually told (phone and computer in differing parts of the office?) that an appointment is in the post for two weeks time, (new financial year). Rather a lot of excitement for one day, I shall have to rest.

Aspergers I was diagnosed as a "High Functioning Autistic"/"Aspergers" sufferer on the 15th of January 2015. DSM-5 AAA score of 14 which is halfway on the scale of 10 to 18, 9 and less being normal. Physical condition Nothing yet on the physical side, two NHS consultants doing very similar simple things to me three months apart produced 'no diagnoses', apart from 'chronic pain'. Simply put I am a worn out old man at 54! My skeleton can not support/cope with the actions of my muscles. Very depressed recently as my elbows are now giving problems, this makes using a wheelchair difficult. PIP ATOS PIP assessment on the 16 of March 2015, will have to wait a few months for the outcome. The second of the NHS physical assessment had been in the morning. A tiring day and after a simple series of body movements requested by the ATOS assessor the last leaving me in a lot of pain and really close to collapsing, frightening the ATOS assessor and my sister who accompanied and drove me. Pain Control Pain control is via 'Tramadol' which is a synthetic opiate, and either 'real mud coffee' or 'chilli'. All these have their problems. Tramadol. Almost completely elevates my pain, I can not take a large enough dose to eliminate the pain completely as the overdose effects are very unpleasant and occur at quite low dosages, so ensuring that pills are sufficiently apart in time is important. Four and half hours apart, this is also the half life of the drug. Constipation a serious problem, many/most service signals are 'blocked', pain really is a service message. Impossible/difficult to sleep. Water retention, although kidney function seems normal? I have to stop after two days, and then sleep for a day, this allows normal functions to work again. Real mud coffee. Good pain relieve, half life of caffeine is six and a half hours, some care is needed to avoid overdosing, the effects of which are not pleasant. Three hours apart seems to work well. Best results are from a cold infusion of coffee which takes a few hours to a day to brew. A 15ml scoop of ground coffee to 200ml of water in a sealable container, coffee grounds float so inverting the container during the brew helps prevent the coffee sticking to the lid. Coffee is of course a stimulant as well as its less known effects as a pain reliever, one of its drawbacks is constipation. Coffee will work well for a few days then rapidly loose its beneficial effects. Chilli Good pain relieve. Bart powdered 'Hot Chilli' a 5ml measure in something else every three hours. Do not use with coffee as coffee stops the beneficial effects of chilli. Chilli has its problems in these quantities, so has to be stopped after a few days. It is slightly depressing and causes appetite problems, I have put on weight, this is a problem as it makes life more difficult. Overall I now spend as much time as possible without pain relieve, only using one of the above when needed. This does mean that I am pretty much stuck/trapped in my bed for most of the time, getting up as infrequently as possible. Lastly 'Occupational Therapist' Still nothing from the council, thats even with a local NAS support worker and a local constituency caseworker prodding them, shall see if any change after the new financial year.

KalamityKat mentioned that a place to chat would be a good idea, this file name is perfect. What can better "Ramblings" for chat that really can not justify a topic of its own. Just one more thing is for a moderator to pin it so it never disappears.

KalamityKat I am an old man in my fifties, I have lived through life/existence with a simple tactic, it is avoidance. I know and have known for a long time that people find me difficult, rude and arrogant. Also as I am clumsy with people, I know full well things can/will go badly wrong. Its better to avoid. Granted its a very frustrating tactic. Life/existence is very empty without some interaction, is better to restrict this to people who know yourself, or to occasional simple conversations with a gentle stranger in a public space. I have worked as a computer techie visiting clients who got used to me, people expect UNIX techies to be a bit strange. The internet did not exist when I was growing into my full stature, so I did not have the temptations that face you. Random chat is both dangerous and boring, I have tried it, there are a lot of very weird people out there, so its something I will not do again. Internet games are another thing I know nothing about, and really apart from a simple word game on this system, its unlikely I will ever be interested. Your young and I would normally avoid you, this posting is the closet I will come. I have found the 'instant messaging' systems too much and too little. I have absolutely nothing apart from ASD in common with you or anyone else on this system. Somehow I think that you will find what I have said to be of no use.

My health continues to decline, albeit my mental health has improved a bit due to buying a small quality digital radio with ear-bud head-phones. I have gone from existing purely in the grey zone, to being a bit brighter due to listening to Radio-3 and Radio-4, this change took several attempts, as it was historically impossible for me to just listen to a radio, it was not tolerated unless I was driving or riding my motorcycle. Its sort of surreal to listen to something beautiful on Radio-3 and have breathing/heart problems, they continue, quite painful, I do not hyperventilate, its not new, just getting worse. With regard to Mihaela's post above, the upset was due to a perceived snub, I understood later that this was not intended and was purely accidental. Although sometime later it was not helped by Mihaela being "invisible" and contacting me when I just checked "Bitwise IM", a very confusing, though on reflection understandable position. It just reinforces my belief that it is impossible for me to use interactive systems such as "BItwise IM" without this sort of mishap happening again, especially with another on the spectrum. In truth it would be better to talk on the telephone. Though I suspect communication will remain purely by topic postings. The good done by communicating with another has not been undone, it lead to the decision to buy a music player, which became a radio. A day-out with my sister in nearby Newbury.

Sally44 unfortunately I am still waiting for PIP, application made August 2014. The "Support Group of ESA" covers my basic needs, but not sufficient for bought in support at @ £20/hr via agencies, I could just about afford three hours a month if I turned down/off my heating. But this is too few hours for the agencies that cover my area to be interested in, realistically I could do with @2 hours per week, that is simply unaffordable. I have been informed by a rather round about way that I will have to wait till April and the local Councils new budget arrangements before I will get any assistance at all. Confirmation may or may not be received. Complete silence means NO. I am loosing about 1KG in weight every two to three months. Its very difficult to clean myself as I can not use the shower. The toilet is a cheap small rubbish thing that blocks almost every time it is used. I have complained to the housing association, and I get the usual reply, complete silence.

I will no longer use either Skype or Bitwise IM, too many possibilities for misunderstandings exist and it is in reality too stressful for me. As for any possible meetings, my normal difficulties for coping with people are likely to be present, as I can not know in advance wether I am on a opiate day or one of the following "rest" days. My apologies, I shall not participate now in either a meeting or on-line chat.

A note on the above The first five are from forms that either I or my sister filled in, these I suppose were initial filtering forms. The Last "AAA" is the significant result, a form filled in by the neuropsychologist at the appointment I attended with my sister who drove and accompanied me at the diagnostic interview. A very draining experience. The "AAA" is the DSM-5 "Adult Asperger Assessment", its values go from 10 to 18, the lower the score the more high functioning and normal the individual is. Values less than 10 mean the individual is considered to be in the normal range for mental functioning. My result of 14 is in the middle of the diagnostic range, I was on good form and not compromised by pain-killers or low blood sugar. This is also the mean result for the specification of "High Functioning Autistic" or "Aspergers syndrome" as known in DSM-IV. What next? This diagnoses will hopefully aid the diagnoses of my physical condition that continues to decline. The local council "Adult Social Services" have been contacted, as it is now a legal requirement for them to at least attempt to help me. The local "Mental Health Services" have also been telephoned and will chase up the council, and perhaps arrange to rehouse me in more suitable accommodation. I remain socially isolated, rehoming is a possible attempt to correct this, as at the moment I have no access to public transport, being to far away from bus routes in this relatively pleasant quite spot. It will always be difficult for me to communicate with others, it is actually more difficult to communicate meaningfully with others on the "Aspergers Spectrum", than with supposedly normal people. In my experience it easiest to communicate with highly intelligent and social people. Some attempts have been made at a meeting of minds via Skype and latterly Bitwise IM, I will not use these things again. I prefer the slower more considered pace of email and posting on this forum.

Diagnostic Test Results 15 January 2015 34 AQ 13 Cambridge Behavioural Scale 25 Relative's Questionnaire 12 HADS - Anxiety 17 HADS - Depression 14 AAA Symptom score

Cast Iron Butterfly I have talked too soon it seems, never mind. I am it seems, always just going to be tolerated and not desired as someone to say hello to. I have removed "BitWise IM" from the "Dock Bar" of my Apple-Mac laptop, to prevent me from using it uninvited. I shall it seems remain "socially isolated", I have been for most of my life, so I shall carry on as before. Considering these things perhaps web-site forums are not suitable places for people like me? The "socially isolated", no one wants/will talk to me, once is more than enough.

Talking Therapy A BIG thank-you to "Mihaela" and "The ExoDus" for talking to me yesterday over "BitWise IM", you both have really helped me, I feel in myself so much better, almost a different person, so different that I could listen to music for pleasure or at least while I moved my arms around for exercise. Music Therapy Another big thank-you goes to "AdamJ" for posting two new music videos in "Whats everyone listening to?", my feeling better from the earlier conversations, prompted me to listen, this listening to a list of short pieces in reverse order has also helped me. Transformation I feel that I have almost completely transformed, talking to someone who is interested and interesting is the best thing in the world to a "socially isolated" individual such as myself. I hope the conversations will continue.

AdamJ, I am not normally someone who listens to music, I enjoyed your posting, exercising my shoulders, to help me recover from injury. I shall go backwards through this file, for a bit anyway. I can not post any music, I quite like the random option of listening to someone else's post. AdamJ you have awoken something that has slept for many years. #802 then #801 I thought I didn't like this type of music. Mihaela #799, song is more musical for me in a language that I do not understand. Aeolienne #798, I think water can more beautiful than diamonds, a single pebble into still water Laddo #797, I can't go home alone again, I might get a music player for next I am out in my wheelchair, Aeolienne #796, I loved the puddytat Mihaela #791, Sleepy Birds Laddo #787, Arctic Monkeys, its been rather warm tonight Aeolienne #786, very peaceful. Mihaela #785, Lili Marlene. enlightening. Aeolienne #784, beautiful Mihaela #783, Ruby Tuesday Aeolienne #782, beautiful and calming Mihaela #781, interesting, a twelve year old, I wonder what will become of her? Aeolienne #780, Ecstasy Its short pieces of music tonight/this morning, I can't go out on my own at weekends, so my wheelchair arms strengthening has to be indoors. Thank you all for helping me to feel better.

"Confused Traveller" "High functioning ASD's" also take a very major part in ruling the world, several USA presidents quite likely were on the scale, we all differ. Its highly likely especially in the nineteenth and early twentieth century that some of the major players were on the scale. The physical clues seem to indicate this. At the high end ASD can just be a quirk, and impede very little. And at the low to medium end "NT" can be very boring little people, with absolutely no flare for anything. Thats my opinion, right or wrong. But probabilities seem to me, indicate this.

I am very open, and trust without question anybody who talks to me, this is good and also bad, as this leaves me open to be deceived and my trust abused. That has happened too often. I give my all when I do anything, that is good and also bad, I have a bad habit of injuring myself, and compound that error by continuing to try to give my all even injured. I rarely break my "word", when I say I will do something, I do it. eBay is impossible for me, so I prefer to give things to my sister, and she can do as she pleases with it, that has happened quite a lot over the years.

Alcohol and Tramadol makes me brave, and so as Tramadol is the most potent pain-killer apart from morphine. (I am waiting for my written formal diagnoses), alcohol on its own makes me chatty and social, mix a pain killer such a Tramadol then the effects of alcohol are magnified. So a person can be socially altered without appearing drunk. This is a possible explanation for the why. It should also work for a more normally wired human. She may have had practice with communicating with people on the spectrum, maybe at the lower end. Hence the way she talked to you. And maybe she is sufficiently a good judge of character to recognise that you a good person. The above may not be the case, there are people who will freely talk to complete strangers, and you met one of them, I have met this type a few times over the years. Friendly talk is always welcome, though I don't think I would appreciate being talked to as if I was a small child. A person as isolated as I am, can not be choosy on who conversation is made with. If the above is a bit of a ramble, forgive me, I am on Tramadol at the moment, it makes me drunk & whimsical.

rabbit-warren The rabbits version of the internet, with the odd spider co-inhabitating, the rabbits web meets the spiders web. There is a "bird eating spider" the tarantula, with evolution playing its odd trick, just think the "rabbit eating spider", a larger vision of the tarantula, maybe the the widespread use of fertilisers and insecticides has combined to make the classic giant spider of many horror stories. Maybe this giant spider uses knitting needles and sticky wool to make its webs and nets. or is it

Knitting The cat plays and unravels your ball of wool, in protest over your knitting a new jacket for a rather cold porcelain doll. Some people just use knitting to have something to do, a way never to suffer from boredom. Or just a good way to keep all the dolls warm and cosy. That is if you can the ball of wool from the cats before its lost or too tangled about the furniture and cats. The cat version of knitting?

Have installed Bitwise IM, now what do I do? Old Techie really lost on end user stuff, more used to dealing with the innards. Help?

Have taken my wheelchair around the block on my own, and further afield up a muddy (it wasn't to begin with) (green road)/(public path) that a "chelsea tractor" would have got stuck on. Thats a ramble around a larger block. I am in pain now, but it is mostly muscle, yippee, it will heal in a few days. My wheelchair has power assisted wheels and another really good thing, something called "Freewheel", this freewheel lifts the front castors and replaces these supports with it self a larger single wheel with a pneumatic tyre. The "blurb" on the web site, says "people have taken wheelchairs with these up mountains", after today, I can really believe that. If you use a wheelchair out and about, a "FreeWheel" will really help, especially with curbs. I have been stuck indoors, the "freewheel" has liberated me. Its really only the 2nd day that I have used it.

The pain from todays adventure is beginning to show, even through "Tramadol". Yet "Tramadol" is allowing me to post here, in this manner. A note as to why I no longer have anything to do with "http://asperclick.com". (The neuropsychologist who diagnosed me, made the fairly obvious statement that I am "socially isolated", as in life my writing seems to betray me. The result, I remain isolated even in these conditions, web page postings!? ) The above is also currently in my profile, for the sake of posterity, I reproduce it here, for when depressed, everything deletable is deleted! Children can really be quite horrid, children or effective children are the main audience for "asperclick", they have as far as I am concerned FROZEN me out, it was quite obvious at times, PM's between current members with the aim of stopping each other from posting on any of the games I might be trying to participate in. The "Crayon Scribbling" after any post that I made, even in the more serious topics. I am not quite so paranoid to think that I am the only target, "Crayon Scribbling", also happens after other "adults" postings, in a topic called "rant" where the host wanted people to be able to vent their feelings, in the relative privacy of a member only topic. Very little point raising this with the host, she is also very young, nearly adult? Other members who may read this and also frequent "asperclick", could you encourage the other "adults" to come here and give this site a bit more life. And finally would you please play with me, the few games on this site. You too please Moderators.

You had fledged from the nest. Parents expect their chidden to depart, its pleasant to hear from them! But children have their own lives to lead, where and with whom is really normally their children's business. Parents sometimes help pick up the pieces, after something goes wrong! You are always a little child even at great age to your yet older parent. (My sister fledged, and left me who never fledged to care for my parents.) Your parents wishes may have to do with their failings, and you perhaps an "only child" or maybe the youngest, not attached, easiest bullied? What you have stated, is not something to feel any "guilt" over!! Repeat you have not done nothing wrong. Maybe its you who is being taken advantage of.

Still waiting for my formal diagnoses, hopefully in the post.

Exploits afresh anew, really unheard of before. I have this day, taken my my "Kuschall" wheelchair complete with "Alber Twion Power Assist Wheels" & "Freewheel All Terrain" up a lane, a "chelsea tractor" could not get up, being quite steep and heavily rutted, my wheelchair made progress up the bit in the middle and less deep rut! Trip continues to the Surgery and back towards the pub, that has no wheelchair access at all, I really wanted a Beer, theres the adjoining cafe. But my wheelchair was really covered in mud, my gloves were muddy and wet, the Pub said "Muddy boots and dogs welcome", obviously not "muddy wheelchairs". OH well, short look around for an alternate wheelchair entrance, none found, went back via the "valley road". Granted "BOOST", not being able to turn round on the upward muddy track, the wheels power assist on max, my inability to ask. The day belongs to the "Freewheel" without which this really would not have been possible. I had just intended to go around the block, to give my shoulders some much needed exercise, the route (only the 2nd time) is of a housing block which is on the side of a hill, my bungalow being on of the flattish bits, of a none square block. The wheels have a 9 mile range, max is 5 bars, end of trip 2 bars, maybe of 1 to 2 miles. A bit of previous history I first acquired my "Kuschall" and "Alber Twion Power Assist Wheels" from "EPC http://www.epc-wheelchairs.co.uk"October 2014, over flattish distances this default basic setup was of immense use. (The control app is for Andriod, my phone is an iPhone, changing any settings on the wheels needs an Android phone, acquired and used later, when realized that changes where essential.) However my sister expecting too much of me, escorted me up a adjoining road which is very much of a deep valley shape, to a cafe in the main part of the village and a bit beyond. (I tend to go on to "BOOST" mode, when I have a visitor or am being taken somewhere. During these times I feel no pain and can do rather a lot), even with "BOOST" I was really in pain just half way through, needless to say I had done quite a bit of damage to my self. When I am ill, hurt, whatever, I have no help, in short I could die and no one would know for maybe three weeks! I should add, when really in pain, I tend to shut down, I know it will not help to call the NHS. My sister makes it quite plain, that she will only visit if she feels like it and for me not to bother her, this varies a bit, nut much. On average a visit/(trip out) every two to three weeks. This damage meant I really needed to go to the "SPORT" mode of the "wheels" as my upper body strength had declined so much, and that really still for the flattish bits, not really very far, not really very often, my range had declined quite a lot. My weight has declined now hovering around 68/69 Kg, much rested with now "Tramadol" aiding my sleep, this has also enabled my to recover, not to where I was, yet better than I was a little time ago. FreeWheel Misdirected post yesterday, prompted me to try my recently acquired "Freewheel", again from EPC, (arrived Monday) the difference, improvement in handling, ease of use on a non smooth pot-holed road!! The journey extended into a round the block, no real discomfort, felt good! And finally I think the above is perhaps a bit of a ramble, a bit like my trip. I have flirted with another site, sick of children scribbling in crayons on any postings I made, I have returned.