Jump to content
  • Announcements

    • Kris

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team


  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Tomar

  • Rank
    Salisbury Hill
  • Birthday 10/06/1961

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    Shipley, West Yorkshire

Recent Profile Visitors

378 profile views
  1. Another newbie :)

    Hi Neal Like you , I was diagnosed in my early 50's. I had always know that I was a bit different, diagnosis gave it a name & helped make sense of things. The really good thing about it was that suddenly I realised that I was not alone & that there were other people around who had experienced life much as I have . So when you say you exist in a bubble I know exactly what you mean because that is what it is like for me. You can see things going on but somehow can not be a part of it. anyway, I'm no good at writing so I'll keep it short. Cheers, Tony
  2. Recently self-diagnosed - HELP?

    Hi Paul I self-diagnosed at the age of 53 & had the problem of there being some things that suggested I'm not autistic whilst a lot of things put me in the ASD camp. I was close to accepting the self-diagnosis as I could not see much benefit in having a formal assessment, but I ended up with the "Am I or aren't I?" question whizzing round my head to the point of obsession. In the end I decided to get tested just for peace of mind. Getting a formal diagnosis is not that easy. My GP was initially reluctant to refer me for assessment. I'm married, in work & don't need any help from social services or the NHS to get by. The GP pointed out that, as the purpose of a diagnosis is to help provide the assistance needed for a relatively normal life there would be no point in me being assessed. Anyway, I scored 10/10 in the AQ10 test they gave me & convinced the GP that "Am I or aren't I?" was causing me problems. The GP agreed to put my case to their Funding Panel. I have heard stories of people not getting this far with GPs refusing to refer anyone in work or in a long term relationship. (AQ10 is a 10 question measure of autistic traits & its a short version of the AQ50. these can be found & completed online) The next problem was getting the funding for the assessment. There is no automatic right to an assessment on the NHS. I was lucky & the GP got the funding so I was referred for assessment. There are 3 parts to the assessment. Firstly a couple of people come a long & talk to you. Next they contact someone who knew you as a child & talk to them about how you were growing up. Finally (about a month later) they get you to do a few simple tasks while they talk to you about things again. After all of this they go away & work out whether you have a ASD or not. I first contacted the GP in November & got the diagnosis in June, so 7 months from start to finish. I get the feeling that my experience of this process was exceptionally quick & easy. I hope all goes well for you Kind regards from a certified fellow nutcase
  3. Hi Jessieboots In my family, I'm the one with the ASD & was only diagnosed recently after my children had grown up. When my daughter was born my parents went completely potty. Everything was about them & their relationship with my daughter. My wife & I were expected to fit in with their plans & ways of thinking all the time. It was about three years before they calmed down & accepted that we had every right to do things our own way. I hope that when I become a grandparent, I don't make the asame mistakes. It sounds like you are going through a similar problem with your parents, with the added complication of an ASD. It is for you & your husband to decide what it best for your family & it is the role of grandparents to give unquestioning help & support. I hope they realise this sooner rather than later. Sorry I can't give you any really good advice. It is hard enough to look after a 3 year old you could do without having to look after the grandparents as well.
  4. The Autistic Dictionary

    You guys have got me thinking Please post a bit more,
  5. Help with a few things

    Hi leeboy The thing I like about this site is that I, like you, feel that I'm all on my own, but when I read some of the posts I realise that there are loads of people like me. I'm afraid I'm not much good at advice but when I feel myself beginning to lose the plot, I go somewhere quiet by myself & tell myself over & over again to calm down. it works for me.
  6. Hi everyone...

    Hi Tom I like your "have to move on " attitude. I'm exactly the same as you - I was 53 when I was diagnosed last year. I go for long walks to get rid of the depression & anxiety, it works for me. Do you have a way of dealing with things?
  7. Local Anaesthetics

    Does anyone else have a problem with local anaesthetics? I seem to need double doses at the dentists Is this an asd thing ? or am I just odd?
  8. One word association

  9. What did you give for Christmas?

    I gave purses to all the ladies & wallets to all the men. The man in the shop gave me discount for bulk buying which i spent on mulled wine at the xmas market. Xmas shopping completed in 15 mins. Was this really despicable?
  10. What have you read recently that you liked?

    George Orwell 1984 I read it at school​ & it was presented as a nightmare vision of the future. Recently I began to think that in all periods in history there has been someone attempting to control the way people think & behave with instant death to those who do not conform. I started to wonder whether Orwell was warning about the future or commenting on his present & so needed to re-read. I might read his other works too.
  11. Hello

    Hello - I hope the new year brings you prosperity & good luck
  12. I know exactly what you mean. I have had problems when I have thought about things & come up with a sensible comment with a genuine intention to make the world a better place for all. Then NTs without bothering to engage their brains start having a go at me because what I have said is non PC. Were do "politically correct" ideas come from? Who invents them?
  13. An ageing Aspie!

    Hello There are lots of us with similar stories on this forum, some formally diagnosed, some not. Are you looking to make changes in your life or just looking for an explanation of why thing are the way they are?
  14. Hello everyone :)

    Hello most of your interests make sense but Why Japanese?
  15. One word association