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About Tomar

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    Salisbury Hill
  • Birthday 10/06/1961

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    Shipley, West Yorkshire

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  1. Hi Neal Like you , I was diagnosed in my early 50's. I had always know that I was a bit different, diagnosis gave it a name & helped make sense of things. The really good thing about it was that suddenly I realised that I was not alone & that there were other people around who had experienced life much as I have . So when you say you exist in a bubble I know exactly what you mean because that is what it is like for me. You can see things going on but somehow can not be a part of it. anyway, I'm no good at writing so I'll keep it short. Cheers, Tony
  2. Hi Paul I self-diagnosed at the age of 53 & had the problem of there being some things that suggested I'm not autistic whilst a lot of things put me in the ASD camp. I was close to accepting the self-diagnosis as I could not see much benefit in having a formal assessment, but I ended up with the "Am I or aren't I?" question whizzing round my head to the point of obsession. In the end I decided to get tested just for peace of mind. Getting a formal diagnosis is not that easy. My GP was initially reluctant to refer me for assessment. I'm married, in work & don't need any help from social services or the NHS to get by. The GP pointed out that, as the purpose of a diagnosis is to help provide the assistance needed for a relatively normal life there would be no point in me being assessed. Anyway, I scored 10/10 in the AQ10 test they gave me & convinced the GP that "Am I or aren't I?" was causing me problems. The GP agreed to put my case to their Funding Panel. I have heard stories of people not getting this far with GPs refusing to refer anyone in work or in a long term relationship. (AQ10 is a 10 question measure of autistic traits & its a short version of the AQ50. these can be found & completed online) The next problem was getting the funding for the assessment. There is no automatic right to an assessment on the NHS. I was lucky & the GP got the funding so I was referred for assessment. There are 3 parts to the assessment. Firstly a couple of people come a long & talk to you. Next they contact someone who knew you as a child & talk to them about how you were growing up. Finally (about a month later) they get you to do a few simple tasks while they talk to you about things again. After all of this they go away & work out whether you have a ASD or not. I first contacted the GP in November & got the diagnosis in June, so 7 months from start to finish. I get the feeling that my experience of this process was exceptionally quick & easy. I hope all goes well for you Kind regards from a certified fellow nutcase
  3. Hi Jessieboots In my family, I'm the one with the ASD & was only diagnosed recently after my children had grown up. When my daughter was born my parents went completely potty. Everything was about them & their relationship with my daughter. My wife & I were expected to fit in with their plans & ways of thinking all the time. It was about three years before they calmed down & accepted that we had every right to do things our own way. I hope that when I become a grandparent, I don't make the asame mistakes. It sounds like you are going through a similar problem with your parents, with the added complication of an ASD. It is for you & your husband to decide what it best for your family & it is the role of grandparents to give unquestioning help & support. I hope they realise this sooner rather than later. Sorry I can't give you any really good advice. It is hard enough to look after a 3 year old you could do without having to look after the grandparents as well.
  4. You guys have got me thinking Please post a bit more,
  5. Hi leeboy The thing I like about this site is that I, like you, feel that I'm all on my own, but when I read some of the posts I realise that there are loads of people like me. I'm afraid I'm not much good at advice but when I feel myself beginning to lose the plot, I go somewhere quiet by myself & tell myself over & over again to calm down. it works for me.
  6. Hi Tom I like your "have to move on " attitude. I'm exactly the same as you - I was 53 when I was diagnosed last year. I go for long walks to get rid of the depression & anxiety, it works for me. Do you have a way of dealing with things?
  7. Does anyone else have a problem with local anaesthetics? I seem to need double doses at the dentists Is this an asd thing ? or am I just odd?
  8. I gave purses to all the ladies & wallets to all the men. The man in the shop gave me discount for bulk buying which i spent on mulled wine at the xmas market. Xmas shopping completed in 15 mins. Was this really despicable?
  9. George Orwell 1984 I read it at school​ & it was presented as a nightmare vision of the future. Recently I began to think that in all periods in history there has been someone attempting to control the way people think & behave with instant death to those who do not conform. I started to wonder whether Orwell was warning about the future or commenting on his present & so needed to re-read. I might read his other works too.
  10. Tomar


    Hello - I hope the new year brings you prosperity & good luck
  11. I know exactly what you mean. I have had problems when I have thought about things & come up with a sensible comment with a genuine intention to make the world a better place for all. Then NTs without bothering to engage their brains start having a go at me because what I have said is non PC. Were do "politically correct" ideas come from? Who invents them?
  12. Hello There are lots of us with similar stories on this forum, some formally diagnosed, some not. Are you looking to make changes in your life or just looking for an explanation of why thing are the way they are?
  13. Hello most of your interests make sense but Why Japanese?
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