Cat

This is not the final Lamb Report which will actually come out next month now because they are still working on evidence. There is some interesting information on-line now which can be found here. http://www.dcsf.gov.uk/pns/DisplayPN.cgi?pn_id=2009_0170 http://www.dcsf.gov.uk/lambinquiry/downloa...-sos-250909.pdf http://www.dcsf.gov.uk/lambinquiry/downloa...port-250909.pdf Cat

Yes I think we will see him tonight and word is that he does not make it Hope what I heard is wrong. Cat

My 22 year old son is still like this which is probably not what you want to hear right now. I decided a few years ago that it was just the way he is and that I was just going to have to live with it - but it is not always easy I have another son who is also autistic and he is nothing like his brother thankfully, much as I love my eldest son he can be hard work. My youngest can be reasonable and does not feel the need to always labour a point unlike his elder brother, who will also argue every point even with my youngest. My eldest became much more fixed and rigid as he went through puberty and although I hoped that it would lessen with age so far it has not. Most of the time I can live with him the way he is but there are days when he leaves me feeling and but we are all only human. Cat

I would insists on further assessments and tests to. As much as I believe that sensory issues play a huge part in autism I fail to see how this could be a sensory issue. Cat

Me too Cat

That says it all BD Cat

So I have no wish for my sons to think that they were an embarrassment to me for a condition that they were born with. The video is all about parents and what they feel and think and has no regard whatsoever for the autistic adults who watch it and then wonder if there parents felt like that about them when they were small. What the video is already doing is to divide and conquer. It will divide the autism community, it will create a divide between autistic adults and neuro-typicals and it will open the door to allow governments all over the world to deal with autism, what Canada has already called a plague, accordingly. The long term implications of this video will keep me awake at night wondering how my sons will be treated by the state when they are alone. You can not portray something as eating everything that is in its path and then expect the people being eaten by autism to be treated kindly. Suzanne Wright co-founder of Autism Speaks did say some time ago now that they were on track to eradicate autism within her life time. Cat

We do think alike sometimes then Badders Because I have just said more or less the samething on Facebook (I know I should have more sense at my age ) I am astounded by how many parents (mostly American) who think the video is 'beautiful' and can not see that it is demonising their children, who will one day be adults some of whom at least will understand what their parent's thought about them As for Autism Speaks I think you summed them up rather well too ****wits indeed! This video should act as a wake up call. Cat

Yes and sadly they now have a very firm foot hold in the UK which I personally find worrying. Cat

This is the most horrible thing I have ever seen about autism Surely we can make a point without going this far http://leftbrainrightbrain.co.uk/?p=3208 Cat

These days it is considered to be best practice if a multi- disciplinary team of professionals assess a child. However those who are best qualified to diagnose are Clinical Psychologists and Psychiatrists. The only real difference between a diagnosis of AS and HFA is if there was a speech delay in the early years of the child. Where I live it makes no difference if the dx is AS or HFA social services don't do either without a fight. A post code lottery is what it is for sure. Cat

Just wanted you to know that I feel for you and I too agree with everything that has been said to you thus far and seeing it as a new begining is by far the best way forward for you all <'> Cat

Due out any day now, or so I was told today. Cat

I was asking myself the same questions as you Karen - you beat me to it Cat

Home Education does not mean that a child is socially isolated in fact far from it. Both of my sons were unable to function socially when they came out of school and both can now socalise very well. We joined in with out local home ed groups for quite some time as we were able to dip in and out of them, as and when, it was right for us. That way my son (I say son because my eldest was then passed that stage) was able to mix with mainstream children but in much smaller groups and doing activities that he enjoyed, which helped him not to feel so anxious and improved his self esteem. My son was having serious and prolonged bouts of cyclical vomiting syndrome because of his extreem anxieties due to his lack of support in school. We were ending off in A&E on a regular basis nothing was worth that to us. My son now has 6 good friends whom he sees on a daily basis. They all still attend school but that has not stopped them from playing with my son who is now 12. As I type this post he is heading home after watching our local Ice Hockey Team with his two brothers and two of his friends. I do know that home ed is not for everyone. Cat

Would educating your son be an option or something that you would ever consider? I ask because there are parents who are members of some of the home ed groups who have been in a similar position to the one you are in now and have found that by educating their children at home it has had HUGE impact on levels of anxiety and behaviour. Cat

Well there are at least two of us who are thinking this Cat

It is very nice for someone to recognise this. After reading the article I feel like what is being suggested as a programme to follow is something that many of the parents who home educate their autistic children are already doing. I say this because of the discussions that we have with each other about how we work with our children and what works best. My better half wrote his Uni dissertation about the pararmeters of behaviour in society being defined by using play as a tool for teaching. Don't ask me what it meant I kind of got what he meant. But he is a HUGE believer that play can be used to progress many children. It is something that we have always actively used with our son. Cat

If he is perfectly happy then why change things? Maybe your son needs this semi solitary time at break times and during the lunch period. If you have real concerns about your son then speak to someone. There are things that schools can do to help children socialise but they would have to be things that your son was happy to do during his lunch break. The very worst thing that could have happened to the eldest of my two autistic sons was for someone to try and 'include' him in the playground. He did not want to play with the other children and he could not understand why they wanted to play and do the things that they were doing. I do not believe in forcing children to socalise. That is not to say that I do not believe in encouraging or creating opportunities for children to socalise there is a difference. The question I would be asking myself is this a difficulty for your son. This is from the National Autistic Society Website 'It is sometimes difficult to know whether a person with an ASD wants to interact during lunchtime and playtime or not. Schools should try to create options and provide opportunities for the student to learn to play in the playground. That way, if the child still chooses to play alone, at least you know that it is a genuine choice.' Cat

It sure does <'> Cat

I would not take what was written as a personal attack even if you declined a service and did not refuse it - however I would want what had been written about me ammended. Sadly this is the way that some SS departments work. Even if you decline a services that have been offered to you because they are unsuitable it is written down as a service refusal. This is why some parents accept anything that is offered even though they know that it was not designed for them and will not meet their needs. If they say yes to everything as has already been said it means that you should get nearer to being offered something that will help you - should do but then again you can not be certain. Cat

I would hope that they would have had enough training but you can not be sure that they have had any. I know that in my own area if I needed to access SS my son who has a diagnosis of HFA would not come under the remit of the Children with Disabilities Team who have had training but would come under a team who have not I would want to know how much training the person who is working with you has had. We would not let a plumber re-wire our house would we Have the parenting classes been designed or adapted for parents who have children with autism? Cat

SS not being suitably trained to help parents or adults with ASC is a big issue at the moment. It is something that has come to the fore again during the National Autism Strategy. The NAS are 100% aware that many SS professionals do not have any recognised training. It might be a good idea if you contact the NAS help-line and ask them for some advice on how to handle this situation. Do you have any idea if the people who you are dealing with have any autism specific training? Cat

For what it is worth I think that you just did the right thing I know that there have already been a couple of posts advising that you pick your battles and I totally agree with that. 'You' could do with a break from the constant fighting with your DD. Taking your foot of the pedal for a while might just allow you and your daughter to enjoy time in each other's company. When you can both relax you might also find that your DD finds it easier to communicate her feelings to you. My son was always a whizz at maths and science but when it came to English he would always say that he did not know what to do. The teachers would say that he was being stupid because he did know what to do as he had been told what to do. I know now, but sadly not then, that my son’s autism meant that he found it very difficult to write about anything at all that he had not seen or done himself. This is down to problems that are in fact part of the triad of impairment, with imagination and rigid and fixed thinking. English was a nightmare for him and he hated every single lesson. However apart from saying that he did not know what to do he could not tell me what the real issue was. My son also had a home tutor that he did not gel with and eventually he found it so difficult and stressful to even have them in our home that he ran away from them, only upstairs, but he tripped and fell and ended up with his arm in plaster for 8 weeks. I do wish you luck with your daughter. I found that once my son had calmed down and realised that school work was no longer our biggest issue that he were able to compromise about other things, like going out, helping with the cooking and integrating back into the family. Cat

My son was not a school refuser either although school was making him physically and emotionally ill. My son was also signed off sick pre-diagnosis and following his breakdowns we never got him back. When my son was as his worst emotionally which was pre and just after diagnosis his obsessions took over his life. His obsessions were games and certain films that he re-played over and over again. We tried sanctions we even removed leads from TVs and the X Box it made no difference to the way he was at all. The only thing that he could talk about was his obsessions and if he could not play the games then he talked about them. To say that we were at our wits end would be an understatement. Only now can my son, he is 22 years old now, tell me why he became so obsessed and hyper focused on games and certain films to the exclusion of everything else. He said that the games that he played and the films that he was watching were predictable. They had a beginning middle and an end right down to the credits. He knew what to expect from them and they delivered every time. He said they did not apply pressure or have expectations of him and they did not keep moving the goal posts. He said that at that time he felt as if no one at all was listening to him and that they could not see that just being alive was killing him because he could no longer conform or 'be' what he was being told that he must be. He said that he started yelling and screaming abuse at us because when he spoke we never listened to him and he gave up trying speaking and started yelling instead. Now he understands that it was not that we were not listening to him it was that we did not understand what the problem was and at that time neither did he. I was advised by those who home educate their special needs children to stop trying to force my son to learn or to produce work and to give him some time and some space to come to terms with himself and what his Aspergers Syndrome meant to him. Even though the professionals all said that that was the wrong thing to do I did it and it was the right thing to do for my son at that time. There is a great deal more to learning that reading and writing. I started to get my son to help me with the cooking and found that he loved cooking. We did life skills, self help skills, effective communication skills and we learnt about autism together. I do not consider those years to have been wasted. I know my son gained a great deal from them and at 16 he decided that he wanted to pick up where he left off academically and he did just that. I have personally never seen autism as something that must be defeated, overcome, or a power struggle that I must win. If having diagnosis of autism is not at the very least an explanation for the way that someone is or on occasion can behave then why have a diagnosis in the first place. I think that it is Tony Attwood who says that is you know one autistic person then you only know one autistic person and having two sons with autism I fully understand what he means because they are as different as chalk and cheese. What is right for one of them is totally wrong for the other. If you take away the battle of making your daughter learn in the accepted way does it make any difference to the way in which she behaves? I found taking my foot right off that pedal made a world of difference to our son and the way in which he behaved. I will never accept that we gave in to him we did what was right for him at that time. My son is now a wonderful guy who is a well rounded individual. He only ever had one friend and pretty much still has although he communicates well now with many people on line. He has always been able to communicate much easier in writing and it is a skill that he is now very good at in deed at the moment he is thinking about writing a book which he is going to call Living with 'normal' people!' Cat