mrs fussy

Hi I am still laughing at your reply sounds just like what i have to deal with, half an hour not too bad ha ha!!!and simple there is no such word is there. I hope your son will have a successful return to school, keeping my fingers crossed for you.As far as my DS return to school nothing definite yet, but if he returned to his present school we would insist on full time and a change of LSA and some of the provision, we feel he needs less help in the classroom and more help on the playground and perhaps some social skills help(circle of friends maybe) he gets no help at all in the social aspect and we feel this is where he struggles most. The school do want him statemented but we feel they have there own agenda and are worried that all of his needs wont be met (social) they are trying to get him satatemented due to his behavior, we have big problems trusting them as they have blatantly lied to us on several occasions and tried to discredit us as parents. We have spoken to the head of another local school and he has offered us a place we have to have a look round on Monday with a view to him starting, my sons present school knew this before the summer break and were pushing us for a decision but we told them we had not decided.The only real problem with the new school is that they are currently in special measures, but are now making good progress, but i do feel the constant monitoring could perhaps be an advantage rather than a hiderance. As you may remember my son told me of an incident with his LSA, and i belive him he did not return to school after this incident before the break we informed them of what our son said and they basically igmnored whatg i had said. They ended our meeting abruptly with us not being able to put all of our concerns across and the many questions we had and no explanation for the incident which is all i had wanted not someones head on thw block. I repied to my sons school report with 2 pages of comments as there was a lot of innacuricies on there even things about what sort of programmes he watches at home(how the hell do they know what he watches, well obviously they make it up as they go along) they said he watches historical programmes, he hates this subject, and no mention of his ability in science.They also made reference to the best way forward next year and it was obvious from this they would be withdrawing the support they had put in, making also reference to our supposed good home/school relationship, i beg to differ they just dictate, and now i ahve started to question they just dont know what to do. The head had also put that my son contines to perform academically but needs to accept there are areas of the curriculum he needs to develop, what does that mean more of the same work that he already knows how to do. My reply to 'he continues to perform academically' was 'does this meann my son has acheived his full potential' lets see what her reply to that is, grrrrrrrrrrr the head is so annoying and useless, and also a liar. This is why we feel we HAVE to move him they treat him and us with no respect. Sorry needed to vent Mrs F x

Hi and thx for your replys, my son is on the gifted/talented register, and no no test have been done but his attainment levels are that expected of a yr 6 child level 5 and his science comes close too. Writing is probably his subject he least like but he is still above average, his reading is also advanced. He could read at 3 and his reception teacher said to me that he could read war and peace if she gave it to him, he could count from well as early as i can remember approx around 18mnths and knew his coulors from the time he started talking, 12mnths, knew his alphabet around 18mnths-2yrs. He has just been like it rom as early as i can remember he just seems to absorb information after the first time being told, his thing at the moment is atoms neutrons and all that business we often have to look up on the internet if the information he is telling us is accurate and trust me 99% of the time it is, and we just dont know where he gets it from. He has beenwatching all the recent bbc 4 programmes on atoms and absolute zero and understands itr i am just at a loss really. His year 2 teacher said she just did not know what to do with him during maths lessons as he already knew everything, again this has continued he just seems to learn at a very fast pace, he went against his teacher on a maths test and finished it quicker than her and he had got them all correct.I just dont know what a primary school child would do if they have reached the top end of the key stage 2 curriculum 3 yrs early, would differntiation work i mean 3 yrs is a long time. He has told me himself that he cant really see why he is going to school as he s not learning anything, but does like to go for well playtimes even though he finds them difficult. There is no provision at all i our area for able children is this common are there schools for able children in other areas? or what provision would have to be provided if he had a statement due to his other SN, could an independent school perhaps provide this, plz tell me your experiences. I sometimes think he will combust if he keeps on taking in all this information, but if your child is learning no one seems to care, even if they are not acheving there full potential. Sorry its an essay Mrs F x.

HI crazygirl, i fully agree i think this is where the problems start other people having there own agends, i mean who are we just there parents arnt we what do we know. How the hell can a mother son relationship be unhealthly close, he is your son for gods sake i would be worried if you wernt close!, to seperate you is utterly appaling this just gets worse i really wish i could activly help you in some way, again i dont have the words just be strong and keep diong what you know is rigth and again im thinking of you Mrs F x

Hi thx again for your reply, You have said something really significant here 'or maybe they want to use it as a way of getting him into a different school' this is what i think my son is so far ahead you see, would a statement allow for him to be educated say at secondary school is that possible if they can prove he is so advanced? they have had him working with older children for his anger management, and keep refering to him as being like a teenager all the time, could this be there plan? they also seem to want him to get a diagnosis could this be to get him into a asd school?I do know they want 1-1 for him as they have put in 15 hrs thereselves since the exclusion. I am just so worried as of course i want him to do the best he can but i also want him to be able to relate to his peers as i feel he needs help with this. I am not sure how much a statement would help with all this, any ideas as i dont want to move him to a new school then get him a statement to find he has to move again. I dont know if say he had 1-1 thencould they go with him to say a secondary school for certain lessons would this be allowed if he had a statement, my view is if this is the case wouldnt it just be better to pay for him to be educate in a private school where he is with people his own age but has access to a more varid cirriculum? or am i talking rubbish will look into buying the velvet buldozer thanks for that Mrs F x

This is totally UNBELIEVABLE, how can this happen this really could be anyone of us i just cant understand why, if you try and get help for your children your accused of having muncheuassens if you dont your accused of neglect you just cant win.Just remind me who started all this the LEA?? because you de-registered him? I am on the verge of doing this to as i cant keep sending my son in to an enviroment that effects him so badly, wil i be accused of the same? totaly UNBELEIVABLE. I just dont know what to say other than keep doing what you know is best dont give in, thinking of you Mrs F x.

Hi thx for your reply, my son was excluded in spring term and has been on part time ed for the whole of the sumer term, basicaly this all started arouund xmas(they say) they had no records of previous behaviour although it had been happening basically they had been ignoring it and i had continually tried to make an appt with senco when i finally got an appt they excluded him 2 days before the meeting, i have had PP with me at all the meetings and she has helped me zilch , in fact she has supported the school more, i am preety sure that they have been getting different meeting minutes to me, they were trying to get my son statemented which i am not opposed to in any way but it needs to also involve us as parents and i feel like the school have there own agenda.I am not sure why they are trying to rush him through the process he only had IEP SA drawn up at christmas, is it because they should have been doing things for him before and wasnt and we just wernt aware of it, my son tells us very litle. I have tryed again to discuss this with the head and have got nowhere she ended the meeting rapidly when i said i had issues to raise, i said it needed to be sorted before my son retuned to school, his class teacher stood up and said @its me he is getting at so i am going and left and then the TA followed her then the head !!! can i say i was perfectly calm throughout all of this(although i did feel like punching them) what ypu make of all that!!! Mrs F x

Hi can anyone help me? My son has no diagnosis but we think he does show autistic traits, we are not sure if these would warrant a diagnosis but thought it best to follow that path to see if he does. My son is also extremely clever(not boasting just need you to see the full picture) my sons school say his behaviour as rapidly declined(had an extremely long exclusion) at home my son is no different to how he has always been(he is an only child, does have a temper, is quite in your face, and his social skills arent always as good as they should be) we manage fine with him at home and apart from the problems at school he is no different to any child we know. My sons school seem to want to blame everything he does on the fact that e may have aspergers, but i beg to differ my son does have frustrations but i think these are often due to him being bored at school as he already has acheived the level expected for a yr 6 pupil in some subjects(he wil be yr 4 sept) i think that they realise this and are trying to blame aspergers for everything as they dont want to be held responsible for his decline in behaviour, how would i go about doing something about this would it be tribunal/ or dr, we are also thinking of moving schools would i have to take this course of action whilst he is still a pupil at this school or could i do it after moving him because all this is making him quite ill, but i am thinking now why should i let them get away with what they have done to my son, i know they have already tried to cover there backs by contacting the ed psych and other things any ideas or should e just cut our lossess and move him quietly. Thanks Mrs F x PS hope all this makes sense

Thanks for your reply thats really helpful and also thankyou for the support. x x x

Hi can i ask if anyone has contacted there MP as regards to a bad situation at school. When e-mailing them how much information have you included. Basically i think my sons school have sent differant information to the LEA as regards to my sons exclusion than they have given me. I have tried to get information(written) from the LEA inclusion/exclusion officer and was told they could not give it me in writing and were asking to why i wanted this information(the head and the LEA inclusion officer are quite pally) and although she has given me SOME information(verbally) i want it in writing as they can retract things said on the telephone. I was wondering are they able to refuse me this information in writing, and would my MP be able to put the neccessary pressure on to get this information.I have signed lots of forms but there have been lots of blank spaces on paper work and i am worried that they have added things afterwards and shuffled paperwork around. I know this all sounds very underhanded of the school but i just dont trust them. How long do i ahve to appeal an exclusion with the LEA does anyone know. Also do i have the right to look at all the information that parent partnership hold on my son. Mrs F x

Just so sorry dont know what else to say, i do see how this happens as i myself have been made to feel inadequate for doing the right thing by my child, i do see how it happens what i dont understand is why!!! Be strong you have done what you have felt is right and i am sure that it was the best thing but somehow this is allowed to happen. Keep fighting you certainly have MY full support look after yourself Mrs F x <'> ><

Hi this may seem a strange question but my son has only recently been identified as having SEN, and this is the first school report since then. All it says is that he has a number of issues with his behaviour!!! nothing else should his report be giving more information on his SEN. Thanks Mrs F x

Hi we have been 'campers' for about 3 yrs now and i must admit i was dreading it first time, but we really enjoyed it and decided we should buy all the things that we needed after the initial try out run. We dont camp every year but find it great as an extra hol during the year, this year it will be our main hol as funds are not too good, and actually our son asked if we could camp instead of going abroad this year!!! so that tells you something. I am sure J will realy enjoy the adventure, and we have have found that people are always really friendly too, hope you get the weather and have a great time, HI-DE-HI Mrs F x

Hi it seems there are not as many moving schools as first thought judging by the response. If anyone is moving schools i would be interested in your reasons for this too and the childs of course so just bumping this up really as i thought there would be more response.

Hi i know i am probably being dumb but could someone answer this question for me please. What amounts to complex needs, would it have to be a combination of things like would behavioural be a complex need or would it have to be combined with something else, .....behavioural/emotional and if say you had behavoiural/emotional/social would you be more likely to get a statement. Hope you understand what i mean. Mrs F x PS i know this sounds like a strange question i am just trying to work out reasons why people would deny that my child has these needs.

Hi everyone, so school reports....why do you get the feeling the teacher does not know your child at all or has mixed there report up with someone elses. I found the only information to be correct was the information I had supplied them with, school reports in previous years have always been spot on but this one well........unbelievable no wonder there have been so many problems the teacher doesnt know him so how can she deal with him appropratly what a total waste of a school year, sorry just needed to get that off my chest. Mrs F x

Private ed psych prices vary but on average abou �400-�700, for an assessment, but as someone said if your childs place is funded by the LEA they would surely have to fund this too. Mrs F x

Hi i dont have any experience of private schools, but i can see why these would probably suit ie....smaller class size, a more flexible curriculum, wish i could get my lad a place at one the flexible curriculum would definetly suit him, but you know we woul have to live on beans too, a tin a week lol. Mrs F x

This really is a difficult one isn't it, we are meant to be enjoying the hols and instead i am lying awake half the night wondering what to do, really need to speak to the old school before i can make a decision as i think they have tottaly misread what i have been trying to say, but its too late now arrrrrrrrrrrrrrh

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Hi i would just like to say hi, hope you find the forum helpful. My son may be moving after the hols we are still undecided at the moment we don't really want to move him as he has friends there and of course its a local school and well you kinda become part of the furniture don't you but our relationship with school is not good and i am not sure this can now be solved so we have 5 weeks to make a decision, and really wish we were not in this position. Its just that educationalists i find talk in riddles and i just don't get it i find it hard to know what there intentions are so are really apprehensive. Why dont they just say straight out what htey mean and save us all the hastle of trying to guess. I think you shouldnt move a child personally unless you really have to but if htere is something that is making them unhappy and the school are not willing to help with this then sometimes i think its something you may have to consider, getting the best education i think is vital and a child should be given the opportunity to achieve there best but they also need other things from school too so that they are also happy. I hope your son will be happy in his new school, lets face it they spend a long time there dont they they need to be happy. Mrs F x

Hi everyone, can anyone help? When a school refers a child to the ed psych what does the ed psych usually do observe assessments both? or anything else Do they only visit once or more plz whats your experiences. Mrs F x

Hi Karen sorry i dont have any suggestions but am bumping this up in the hope that someone else will have because they would certainly be of use to me and my 8 yr old too. Mrs F x