Stella63

Thanks guys, I don't know what I'd do without this forum - it is so incredibly supportive! The police were brilliant - said they couldn't really arrest him as no evidence etc but offered to take him to prison for a day 'crime diversion' its called, apparently very hard hitting. Because it is voluntary they 'suggested' to him that this was an option instead of arrest which he has agreed to do. They also have a 'boot camp' thing where they they go away for a week and are worked really hard. They have psychiatric teams there and apparently a lot of the kids actually begin to open up and it can be a really positive experience. I said yes to that!! And when AJ got up today it was as though nothing had happened - all the anger and aggression of the weekend was gone. Trouble is that OJ can't let it go (and he is very black and white with his thinking) so this is causing continued aggravation, anyway, things are calmer now inspite of me having to go the dentist today for a crown!! I hate the dentist!!!! Stella x

Hi, I wrote a really long thread last night and somehow deleted it, so here goes again. On friday the boys had their normal morning argument about tv programmes, I took OJ to school, AJ left the house soon after and when I got back, OJ's ds was missing (I have to check things regularly as AJ steals from us all the time if we leave anything lying around). Just recently we have been very suspicious about drugs and he seems to getting into something really deep. He constantly says he needs money 'cos he owes a mate', his own playstation has disappeared, I overheard him offering someone my ds lite (Iknow it was mine because he listed all the games I've got and he had got it hidden in his bedroom). But this is the first time he's taken anything from OJ and I think he is getting desperate. He completely denied it of course and has been extremely angry and abusive all weekend (which I think is a kind of guilt thing). I had to get OJ out of the house yesterday because I was afraid AJ would hurt him. We actually asked him to leave the house last night which he did but then came back. He has refused to go to school today and is still asleep but I am dreading the confrontation when he does get up. I have spoken to SS this morning and told them we can't cope - she did say that there is a new service in our area for these kind of problems so waiting to hear back from her. We spoke to the police on friday (we know them quite well now!) and they picked AJ up and searched him but he didn't have anything on him. They are coming here at lunchtime to discuss what to do - they could arrest him if that's what I want and i don't know if it is. He doesn't seem to be bothered at all by the police or spending time in a cell (been there, done that attitude). Infact absolutely nothing fazes him and I now think he needs some kind of psychiatric help (but even the private psychiatrist he sees can't get through to him). Where the hell do we go from here? A very stressed and upset Stella

Hi Mumble, It really is a ridiculous test and I can't see how it works in reality but I would imagine they must mean the worst pain in your experience because no one knows what pain feels like unless you have experienced it and if you are experiencing the worst ever pain you've ever felt then that must score a ten. But obviously that would have to change if you then experienced a worse pain and then that would invalidate the whole test. My brain is now hurting from all this (think that might be a 6!!) Sorry Mumble, I don't think I have been a lot of help but it provoked a huge discussion in our house about whose pains feel worse and how can we know because our brains are all wired differently and therefore we all feel things differently - very interesting!!! Stella x

Hi Daniels-mum, I would also see if you can get an appt with the SENCO at the secondary school he will be going to. Sometimes they are a lot more switched on than at primary schools (not always!! not wanting to offend those who have had good experiences!!!). Explain the current situation and your concerns and get them on side. We had nothing good come out of our experiences with CAHMS, complete waste of space and had to go private for AJ's dx of ADHD. Unfortunately you have to fight the battles and keep fighting them - I wish a lot of these threads could be read by the so called 'professionals' who are dealing with our kids because this is the reality and a lot of them haven't got a clue! Stella x

Hi, Thanks everyone for the support - it says it all when I post on here before I let family and friends know!!! Or maybe that is just the sad side of my life!!! Clare, he sang 'Any Dream Will Do' again at the headmasters request. He had sung it the previous week at a concert for new yr7 parents and sung it beautifully but nobody joined in which changed it slightly. So, having been told that no one would join in (protocol said you can't coerce important people to sing because it might make them feel uncomfortable!!!) he adapted the song and held all the notes where we would all have sung - and it transformed the song into something really powerful. I am so proud of him, I think he will be the next Lee Mead or Phantom of the Opera someday soon!!! Stella xx

Thanks Clare, it was the most moving, fantastic performance he has given so far!!! I am still reeling from it! <'> <'> <'> He was very anxious beforehand and I think that is partly why I was allowed to attend - me, the senior management team from school and loads of really important people!!! But he got up on the stage and sang his heart out! The prince came up to him after and chatted with him and all the other dignitaries were congratulating him (and me!!) and it was just the most amazing thing thing ever!!! There will probably be pictures in the local papers next week. Oliver is completely calm about it all now 'oh it was just another song' and I am only just beginning to come down off the ceiling!!! I think a large vodka and coke is seriously in order (the damn emoticons aren't working so I can't produce a drink! I'll have a real one instead!!) Stella xx

Mumble - that made sense!!!! Stella x

That doesn't make any sense to me at all!!! I am always interested in how people work maths out but I rarely get it! My dad is a genius at maths and used to get so cross with me because I didn't get it when I was at school and now, working at a secondary school I still really struggle with a lot of the concepts (sometimes that helps the kids as if I don't understand I can tell the teacher and it can then be explained in a different way - I remember when I was at school I was made to made to feel so small for putting my hand up and saying I didn't understand - give me English lessons anyday!!! Stella x

Hi I know I have posted previously about this but it is happening on Thursday. Because the Queen is the patron of our school (where I work and both my kids attend) the Prince is opening our new Arts, Music and Drama centre. OJ has been asked to sing in a short concert for the Prince and various other dignitaries - he is the ONLY pupil singing, there is also the drummers (who are fantastic) and a trumpet player and I think a pianist. I have been invited to attend which is scaring the hell out of me! I have gone out today and bought a smart suit (which I might return after the concert!!!) and am just worrying about how I am going to deal with this kind of formal do and also worrying about OJ but he doesn't seem to be that nervous (he has no idea who Prince Edward is other than one of the Queen's sons) and who is the Queen really other than someone whose picture is on stamps!!! The flip side is that AJ has just been suspended for the nth time for seriously bad behaviour in a cover lesson!!! AAAGGGHHHH!!!! I will be glad to get this week over with!! Stella x

Well done Suze!!! It is such an achievement to get any kind of move forward with food (well i have one who eats anything and one who has all the sensory issues) - I got OJ to have an omelette with the usual bacon and cheese BUT he tried a slice of fried new potato in it - said it was ok but nothing special - I don't care whether it was special or not, he tried it and thats what counts!!! Stella x

Hi Went to the matinee performance of Joseph today. OJ desperately wanted to see it after performing Any Dream Will Do in the summer! I just wanted to see Lee Mead and wasn't disappointed!!! OJ coped with the whole 'going up to London' thing as it wasn't busy on the train, we didn't have to go on a tube, just walked over the Jubilee bridge (holding tight to OJ as he gets compulsive thoughts about jumping). He didn't rate Lee much but he has watched the Donny Osmond DVD so many times that he expected it to sound exactly like that (we had the same problem with Phantom!). The only real downer was when we waited for Lee to come out after the performance, OJ was so close to getting his programme signed but because he won't push and shove like everyone else he missed out by seconds and all the photos I tried to take came out blurry because of people shoving me!!! Still, it was a good day out and OJ bought a really cool pen that lights up....... and he will be singing to Prince Edward on Thursday so that can't be bad!!!! Stella x

Loulou, just wanted to say my thoughts are with you at this time - you are doing the right thing. Although life in our household hasn't quite reached the point you are at, it has come close and is never far away - <'> <'> <'> Stella x

Hi Karen, that is so good to hear and well done J!!! Having had similar with OJ it is lovely to be able to share a little bit of 'good stuff'! Stella x

Pearl, That was your punishment for making me look at horrible images of slugs!!! I slept like a baby last night with no horrible nightmares - so there!!!! But I still haven't fed the Luckily my DH doesn't have the same problem so I have now officially made it his responsibility!!! Ha got rid of that chore!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHh!!!!!!!!! Pearl, you are now officially responsible for any future nightmares I have involving slugs and possibly the gradual starvation of my rabbits due to my total fear of being able to go outside and feed them - and as for my personal hygiene issues due to a NEW fear of bathrooms....!!!???? AND you want me to have them as pets, mmm let me think about that for a nano second -NNNOOOO!!!

The salt treatment is very effective and extremely satisfying for the one who is in control of the salt - but the mayhem and carnage that is left all over the patio then also has to be dealt with!! UUrrgghhh!!!

Well, I know the logical reason for all the slugs is the rather wet summer we've experienced but they are just multiplying by the minute! I went out last night to feed the rabbits :robbie: (rather later than normal as we were celebrating my friend's birthday, my DH's promotion and pay rise, and OJ's successes with his singing competition and invitation to sing to Prince Edward) - sorry, had to include all that. Anyway, the sight of all those slugs in the rabbits cages made me heave (and it wasn't the champagne, red wine followed by vodka and coke!!!) . There must have been 8 large slugs in the food dish and more on the door and just everywhere, hundreds, if not thousands of fat, slimy, disgusting creatures (and I'm sure I'm not exaggerating at all!!! ). It made me think what a horrible thing for the rabbits to have to deal with - we have put copper pipes around most of the hutches but there are gaps - a plumber friend told us that slugs don't like copper. But do the slugs bother the rabbits? I think it is absolutely foul but am I worrying unnecessarily about the rabbits? What do they think? I refused to go out there tonight, too traumatised!!! Stella xx

Sciencegeek, That is most excellent!!!! Well done and blag loudly for your degree course!! Stella xx

Hi Soraya, That is so good to hear!!! hope it continues (from one with a similar boy!!!!) stella x

Hi It just gets better and better!! I saw the headmaster this morning to ask permission to use the school name for OJ's publicity and he was really supportive (as i knew he would be!) and he then told me that later this month the school's new arts centre is being opened by Prince Edward and he wants OJ to sing in front of him and about 70 other dignitaries!!! How about that for publicity!!! I am so excited and fairly bursting with pride!!! Stella x

Thanks Clare, Will pm you with the info - sorry we didn't manage to get together in the hols but it will happen!!!! Stella x

Hi guys, Thanks for the support, its really great to be able to share the good stuff - when it happens!!! Smiley, that would be fantastic - I'll pm you when I've got all the ticket info and anyone else if you're close enough to make it - the more support the better and you get a chance to vote!! Stella x

I know I have posted before about OJ and his singing but had to share his latest achievement. He auditioned for a talent contest and has won a place in the regional final which is a live show in Aldershot. There is then a national final in Portsmouth which is televised on ITV in late November. We are just so thrilled for him - to be able to stand up in front of strangers and sing whilst having to do multiple tics and rituals is just amazing but it is what he wants to do and he is so determined that his disabilities won't stand in his way - way to go OJ!!!!! He also wants to generate publicity via the NAS and Tourettes Society to raise awareness so any ideas, please let me know!! Stella x

Hi Nicky That is so good to hear! I am a swimming teacher and especially love to teach the AS kids (and adults), including my own. OJ opted out of council run lessons long before we had any awareness of his problems but I could see he was struggling to cope in a class of 15 with a teacher who had only just qualified (on my training course). He will never be an Olympic swimmer, the dyspraxia causes so many problems but he is confident, able to swim the 3 strokes and loves being under water - swimming is a life skill so if you've found a teacher who understands and can move him forward, stick with it!!!! Stella x

Hey, AJ started being a hormonal teenager when he was going through the terrible two's!! I thought (stupidly) that by the time he actually was a teenager he would have grown out of it and been a lovely calm person...... I was sooooooooo wrong!!!!! He just got more angry and aggressive. Things have improved having finally got the ADHD dx and going on meds, but meds don't cure the problem they just help give him breathing space to make decisions. I was thinking only this afternoon how relaxed he has been this hols and what a difference it makes to the household and then this evening as DH and I were eating dinner he kicked off big time, attacked OJ and started trying to punch more holes in his bedroom wall!!! Well, it was lovely while it lasted!!! I have to say that since we have been involved with the youth justice service (for misdemeanours caused by AJ in temper) we have had so much support from professionals who have an indepth understanding of ADHD. I know now why he behaves the way he does and that it isn't my fault, I just have to count to ten and deal with the outbursts in the right way. All the best Stella x