witsend

OMG, sorry everyone but little Britain is a firm favourite in our house. It's actually one of my sons latest obsessions. He can do most of the voices/characters to perfection and have to admit it is very very funny. However I agree it's a bit contradictory to show a trailer for a post watershed prog before the watershed. Little Britain is rather rude but it I think it's funny enought to make up for that, have to say love it Luv Witsend.

Popped into BHS today to buy 'little un' some new gear and came across a wonderful pen, thought may be of interest to some. The pen is made of a sort of rubbery material which is in bright colours and is sort of spiky but very soft. I bought one for DS and he loves it totally. I just thought it could be quite useful for kids with dyspraxia/poor fine motor skills as it has a good grip and is visually very appealing, it also has chain with a star attached to the end (bonus!! ) which I htought my son my think was a bit girly but he loved that too . Anyway I got the last pen in stock at my store (but then I do live in the back of beyond) but apparently more are due in, it cost �2.50, so marvellous stocking filler eh? Luv Witsend.

Waved son off to scout camp for the weekend at 6pm, got toddler to bed at 7pm, now got the wine open and aahhh...peace and quiet Actually feels like I'm on holiday! Sons behaviour has been pretty 'challenging' recently culminating in a very hard past couple of days in anticipation of camp, he was very excited but also very stressed. Normally I'd be sat here worrying but I'm actually just relieved to have some space and I'm sure he's going to enjoy it, so just wanted to share that. Also it means I have time to sit and read the posts here properly and post myself without constant interruption Funny though, the house does feel a bit empty and yes I am missing him already, just hoping he does have a good time dib dib dibbing (or whatever it is they do) . off to read some posts. luv Witsend.

Hi Liz, my son was dx 5 months ago and I remember posting a similar post to yours then. i too felt a bit guilty that my predominant reaction was relief (bordering on euphoria actually) I was so pleased at the time to get a dx which I was sure was right without having to fight further for it. Since then I have felt up and down at times but I have never regretted (or doubted) the dx and it has helped with getting more help at school etc. I think you're absolutely right you do do you're 'greiving' prior to dx if you have already reached that conclusion yourself, but you do feel a bit mad that you're practically celebrating the fact that something is 'wrong' with your child . But it's like you say you're child is the same as they always were and they are fantastic and gorgous and you love them anyway, I'm sure the relief comes from knowing others are taking you seriously (ie your not mad after all) and knowing that this in turn will hopefully access your child the help they do really need Take care - Luv Witsend. PS I was worried that the relief/happy feeling would suddenly vanish and I woud come crashing down, but that never happened, I no longer feel like I did but it's been more a gradual coming to terms with official dx than anything else.

Hi Sam - sorry you had a bad day with school. All I can say is keep going...that is keep telling the staff at the school what the problems/potential peoblems are and use today as an example of what more may come. Try and find someone on the staff at school who is understanding and symathetic and try (grit your teeth if necessary) to stay polite but assertive and act like you're really positive about working "with them" ie pointing out this is a joint venture and not all your responsibility I've sometimes found over the years that if I pretend to myself that I'm talking about another child (not my own) to the school I can be much more objective and calm in approach and they seem to be able to deal with this better than if I go in saying what I really think and feel in a no holds barred kind of way. Hope that makes sense. Make sure the school know you are always happy to be contacted about any probs queries they may have and keep in regular contact even when things seem to be going well. Schools can be frustratingly slow on the uptake but hopefully perserverance will pay off. Are you in touch with anyone like parentpartnership who can advise/advocate when needed? They have been great with us. Good Luck Witsend.

Lynne - well done. Here's to our Xmas bonus! Luv Witsend.

Thanks Phas, last night was a great success, he came home knackered but happy and actually took himself off to bed and fell asleep!! Obviously night hikes have been what he needs for some time Roll on camp. Luv Witsend.

Hi and thanks agian for your replies. I phoned the scout leader today and told her about sons AS etc, she was fine about it all, she already knew a bit about dyslexia and was quite willing to hear about AS and how it affects my son. She said it's good to be aware of it so now she can help my son in the areas he may need it . So that's a releif. She said son is welcome to go on night hike (tonight - now!!) and camp next week Son is very excited. I'm a bag of nerves sat here waiting for him to get back from night hike and will prob be mega stressed next weekend while he's off in the Lakes in December! But nothing ventured..... Only an hour to go and I'll know if he's back in one piece. Luv Witsend.

Hi again Sheena, just read you're last post <'> to you. And don't know why but something about the blu-tack made me want to cry . Hope things get better for you all soon, take care, Luv Witsend.

Hi Sheena - welcome to the forum. The diagnosis process seems to differ in process and length of time for just about everyone. What I would say is a lot of it seems up to the parents (ie you) and how hard they push for it. Sorry don't know how things in scotland differ from England. So sorry you're having negative experiance with the head I know this can make things even more difficult, hang in there, hopefully somenone will be along soon with more advice. Luv Witsend.

Thanks - I am a bit wary I suppose because I don't know the scout leader and what her attitude might be, it's good to know they can't stop him joining because of his AS. I've just dropped him off and met the leader she seemed nice but haven't had chance to talk to her about it yet. I'll see how tonight goes and then probably phone her to discuss it. Finger crossed she's as understanding as you two. Luv Witsend.

Hi Mrs R - I can sympathize (should that be empathize?) here, my sons behaviour in public has caused me much angst over the years. I've never been great at dealing with it, but since he was dx and and since I have learnt and understood more about the reasons he behaves as he does it has got easier. I've found if you act really upbeat about what you're child is saying and don't cringe in a corner most onlookers will simply follow suit. I just often tend to act like whatever my son is saying/doing is really normal/entertaining and actually make eye contact with the onlookers to 'let them in' on it too Quite a lot of them are then actually quite pleasent and the ones that aren't, well who cares about them anyway? Your son is not doing anything so awful, it's not illegal or hurtful to anyone so so what? Have to admit when I'm out with my boys I feel a bit like Carole - we must look like the crazy gang but maybe we are! But so what? At least Harry potter is pretty mainstream, my son used to ask people what they thought "The Punishers" (marvel character) best torture technique was - blank stares all round!! Take care - keep smiling - luv Witsend.

Hi everyone - well I've had a weird beard week in one way and another - will prob be posting shortly on latest shenanagins at school - but in the meantime just wanted some advice about the latest issue, ie scouts! My son was in beavers years ago, it didn't work out well, he found it boring and they did a lot of craft stuff he couldn't do he left after a few weeks when one of the leaders ( a 17 yr old boy) lost his rag with my son causing a big hoo ha At the time the (older female) leader was quite apologetic re the other 'leaders' outburst towards my son, loooking back I'd say it was him not my son who was out of order, but at the time we had no dx and I presumed my sons behaviour coupled with this leaders impatience just meant the whole thing was a bad mix. Anyway for the past week my son has been wanting to join (a differant) local scout group (2 of his classmates are in it) and the school caretaker is involved and has gave me the phone number of the leader. I rang her yesterday and she sounded v nice and said to broing my son along tomorrow to see what he thinks. She also said they are off on a camping weekend in a couple of weeks (lake district) and my son is welcome to come if he wants to Well son is now v excited, he loves the idea of the camping and is v enthusiastic about the whole scout thing. I'm pleased to think he may have a new group activity but am a bit worried (as usual) about how he will fit in and how he will be perceived. So first should I tell leader about his AS? I don't really want to because I hope it won't be necessary and I don't want him to be singled out or for them to jump on the least little thing because of his dx. But do you think I have a duty to tell them?? The mother of one of the classmates who goes is a nasty peice of work and caused a lot of probs for my son a few years ago (getting others not to invite him for tea etc.. ) so I'm worried about that too. The 2nd thing is the camping thing, I'm sure son will enjoy it but am worried re the safety aspect, I feel like I should tell them he needs extra supervision but of course this would mean going into details about dx, and I dread them saying he can't go. When my son went on school trip (residential weekend) recently there were no probs, he is very outgoing and charming, so he probably would be fine Would appreciate your views - luv Witsend.

Hi Karen - <'> to you. Hope tomorrow is a better day -luv Witsend.

Hi -SPD = Semantic Pragmatic Disorder. I agree totally with what Zemanski has posted My son was originally dx with this prior to dx of AS, but have to agree that it's prob best to stick with AS dx for the reasons Zemanski has already outlined. I personally think you will get more help for your child if they have an AD dx and SPD is so closely related to ASD type problems/traits (as Zemanski said there is debate amongst the professionals wether they can exist seperately or are always part of ASD) that the help you will need for either of of these will be amount to being the same. Hope that makes sense. Luv Witsend.

Thanks for that slt101, still haven't had any luck getting hold of HV will try and ring SALT direct. Luv Witsend.

Thanks for your replies - from what you've said it sounds hopeful this will be a temporary thing Will try not to make a big thing out of it or to worry too much but will still try and get hold of HV for speech therapy ass. by the time he get's seen it will prob all be sorted! Thanks again - luv Witsend.

Hi - couldn't think of a suitable title for this one. My 3 year old (NT) son has developed a noticable stammer, it's been going on for a couple of months now. At first i didn't think too much of it but now am getting a bit concerned. It does seem to be getting worse sometimes he can hardly get his words out at all it is always there but sometimes worse than others. I have phoned health vistor a few times but so far haven't got hold of her, I'll keep trying. I am wondering if my little ones stammering is linked to my older sons AS. Older son often won't let younger one get a word in edgeways and is very quick to shout at him for the slightest thing I just think this has made the little one nervous of speaking because he knows he will get shouted down. I don't think my elder son realises the effect he has on the younger one and he would be upset to think he is the cause of the problem so it's tricky trying to explain to him but I feel I have to try for the sake of the little one. Just wondered if anyone has any thoughts on this and/or any experiance of stammers. Thanks - luv Witsend.

Hi Jm - it's not morbid it's just really sensible, I had to make a will recently after my divorce and I have said I want my sister to have my boys should anything happen to me, obviously you need to make sure the person you're naming is happy with the arrangement. My son also does not have contact with his father and my solicitor said it was v important I made a will so that any court would know and respect my wishes for who is to look after my kids. It's not a cheerfull thing to have to do but I did feel a lot better once I'd done it - now i can just forget about it. Also it's not too expensive and sometimes solicitors have make a will free weeks! Just get it done and off your mind - take care Luv Witsend.

Hi DM, will you ever stop crying? Hell yes. And there will be times when the anger subsides too! But at the moment it's par for the course so don't feel bad about it. <'> Hope you've got supportive folk around you, you've certainly got 'virtual' support here, so keep posting and let us know how you're getting on. I've had and still have times when I've cried and been soo angry over all sorts of things to do with my son and how he is and how he's treated but somehow you get through it all. Wine and a warped sense of humour and of course this website are all great coping mechanisms. Take care, don't let them grind you down. Luv Witsend.

Hi - it soesn't sound daft at all - it's always a relief when people take us seriously and actually do something. It's all a real rollercoaster. Glad things are happening for you . Luv Witsend.

Good Luck. xx Witsend.

Zemanski - just wanted to say good luck and as you often say stay strong Take care - luv Witsend.

Hi Jill - not sure wether you've posted before? Welcome. All I can say is that my first son (ASD) was born 10 days late and was induced and my second son (NT) was born at 29 weeks by caesarian section and very nearly didn't survive. I don't honestly know if being born early is associated with autism, I'm sure someone on here will know more and be along soon. I know cerberal palsy is associated to premature birth (they thought my youngest had this but he doesn't!) Don't think anyone really knows what 'causes' autism, I'm sure it's a genetic thing but that'a just my point of view. Just hope (reading between the lines here) you're not blaming yourself for anything? Take care - luv Witsend.

Hi Clarkie - <'> <'> . your son sounds a lot like mine, when I was reading your post it was typical of the sort of thing that happens here! I know the sense of relief you feel when you think you've finally got a situation sorted to suit everyone and then of course it's just ###### awful when our kids turn it round on its head and suddenly everything is up in the air and not right again. I often find myself worn out with trying to keep up with my sons demands and trying to keep him happy and on an even keel, everything has to be done just right his way or else it's major hassle. Then sometimes when I'm really fed up with it I rebel! This usually means I get cross and decide it's me whose the parent at the end of the day and he can just like it or lump it. i then go full steam ahead with whatever it is I want to do (what I think is best not him) despite his whining/shouting etc and often he realises enough is enough and actually backs down. Then of course I feel all strong and triumphant and then later than that I feel alll guilty and mean. It's just never easy. Probably if you turned round now and told your son he is staying at present school then by next week he would upset about not going to the other school The phone thing is just rubbing salt in the wound isn't it? Good luck with getting is sorted - hope by now you're feeling better. Luv Witsend.