kazzdt

This is definately the typical scenario! I voiced my concerns about Sam to the HV when he was 2. I was directed to use a naughty step! He was eventually dx ADHD at 9 and through persistance and a certain amount of luck (!) dx AS a few weeks before his 11th birthday!!

Hi Loulou I couldn't believe it when I read your post. Only this morning I told Sam that I was going to call the police out to him for beating up on his sister again. We've been going through it, same as you, things have been really bad lately. He has always been aggressive especially to his sister, but recently more and more is also directed at me. I hate the way he speaks and I hate feeling so powerless when he hurts his sister. I said that if I can't deal with him anymore I'll have to get some help from the police. Trouble is I just don't think I could go through with it (and he probably knows this! ) You've really got me thinking now though that maybe pulling up outside the Station could have an impact on Sam too. I would love to know how long the effects of your actions help for, please keep us posted. Good luck, I know how you feel, I really do!! Kazz

Sam loves Tuna Pasta or Chicken Korma. And carrots!! His actually quite partial to the odd sweet or two as well The only one in my family who doesn't like Strawberries either, though he loves strawberry jam and PB sandwiches.

Way to go Viper!! I love it when someone actually manages to do something positive instead of just moaning about bad service. Well done you.

Jaded, absolutely not offended, grateful for any replies, maybe I worded it wrong. What I am trying to establish is whether they can tell if there is no intolerance or whether it would just be reported as inconclusive. Does this make sense, I'm having trouble explaining what I mean here? I'm not very clued up on this, though I've read and re-read the literature several times! Kazz

Do any of you have trouble not reacting to hurtful comments made by your child. Sam regularly speaks abusively to us and whilst he always reprimanded for the things he says, sometimes I just feel I won't be able to stop myself trying to make hurtful comments back. I feel so very guilty. I mean who's the child here, I'm supposed to be the adult. For example, Sam will say he really hates me or he doesn't want to be in this family anymore, or worse (At the weekend, Dads birthday and told him 'I'd rather eat dod poo than be your son - Happy Birthday Dad!!) First he's told not to say such things, maybe has a privelage withdrawn or gets a cross on his behaviour chart. (but by now he's got nothing to lose) then he goes on and I ignore him. Then I ignore him some more. Then he still goes on and I'll say 'I can live with that'. Then he still goes on and on and I want to scream at him that I don't feel that great about him either - but I don't. I just carry on with my insides shreiking (*!?@~*!!), 'whatever Sam.' Usually But every now and then I just can't hold it in. 'I don't care how you feel about me' I say (of course I really really do!), Sometimes I don't like you very much either, it's ok to feel like this sometimes' ( not bad, I'm doing OK) 'Maybe if you don't like this family we'll see if we can get you put with another one!! (Gone too far now, Sam , me feeling like the most 'bleep' mother. Why can't I rise above it, why oh why can't I keep it together. How can I expect to control his behaviour if I can't control my own? Kazz

Congratulations! If thats the right word. I'm sure you feel as most of us did at dx. Thrilled, relieved, and a little bit sad!! Here is a really great place to start. Since Sam was dx in March I've learnt so much through this forum and it's such a wonderful feeling being among people who understand and are with you every step of the way. Whatever you need to know there will be someone here who can answer you and give support. So welcome Caroline if you need infomation or just want to let of steam this is the place to be!! Kazz

I have decided to get a urine analysis done for Sam at Sunderland Uni, but before I part with my 60 quid I just wondered if anyone who's had this test has had a result of NO intolerance to gluten/casein. I was just interested to see what the ratio is. Kazz

I could not, for one minute, imagine what it would be like if I did not drive. My dad taught me, and my mum and 2 sisters. Patience of a saint, my dad! Kazz

Hi Lauren, I haven't had any expereince of this situation, but one thing I would be questioning here, is whether the extra year at primary will be beneficial. By this I mean do they provide well for your son, do they have strategies that will further him. I say this because my son is starting secondary in September and so far the school he is going to seem much more clued up and helpful than his primary were. Sorry, I'm not explaining myself very well here, but I hope you get the gist of what I'm saying. Kazz

Hi, I'm a bit late to this thread, but I just wanted to add something that might be useful. Sam tends to be a bit unpredictable in this area, sometimes he can take praise but not usually. I have found that if I word it carefully I'll get a better response. If he's done something good I will say 'That really helped ME' or 'That has made ME feel so proud/happy' Just a small thing, but it seems to make the difference if I put the focus on me rather than him. Take care Kazz

What does a Statement of educational needs cover. Is it purely academic or are other factors involved? Have any of you got a statement based just on social inadequacies? I was told by Sams school that he would not get a statement due to him having no academic problems. This was also said when he was dx (ADHD/AS). He really struggles with basic life skills though and while he is very bright academically he can't always follow simple instructions. No body can seem to understand why this is, despite my explaining and still just brand him as being contrary. I have recently been attending an AS workshop and have been advised by somenone there that he should get a statement based on his social problems alone. Can anyone offer any advice on this. Sam transfers to Secondary in September and is going to need all the help he can get. Thank you. Kazz

Hi Tracey and all Our Sam is in constant meltdown at the moment and his aggression seems to be be accelerating. He seems to have been getting more and more stressed since his SATS, the end of term just doesn't agree with him, particularly this one in Year 6 as there is no structure to the timetable at all. This week he had a 'play fight' with his brother (they are banned from this) which escalated into a full on fight which when I tried to break it up he directed his anger to me. It resulted in Sam grabbing a butchers knife, pressing it against his chest and saying he is going to kill himself. I shouted at his to put it down and fortunately this time he did. But I was very scared and am not sure how to handle this if it happens again. He has started just trying to push me around a bit lately as well, which I find alarming. This morning he run and jumped on top of his sister and when I told him that he would not gain a reward for that hour on his chart, he run over to me and squeezed his hand round my throat. He let go almost immediately as he realized what he'd done and after he was all I love you and sorry. But I really worry for the future. Sam has AS and ADHD and I never really know what to attribute his aggression to. When he was little he had the usual temper tantrum, rolling on the floor etc, which has now been replaced with aggression. He is on medication for his ADHD. The feeling remorseful after he has done something wrong is a new thing which we consider a huge breakthrough. He says he really doesn't want to do these things, and doesn't know why he does. Kazz

Has anyone had any knowledge of the Yorktest Laboratories, and their Fast scan screening for food intolerances. I've recently heard of a child who had severe behavourial problems (don't know if she has austism or not) who was found to be intolerant of potatoes. When they were removed from her diet the differences in her was unimaginable. The parents and teachers were astounded. I know York is a renouned centre for allergy and intolerance testing, but they are very expensive and I just wondered if anyone has any experience of them. Thanks Kazz

Had our second session last Monday. Sams session consisted of music therapy, art and sport. Our session concentrated of the different places on the autistic spectrum and the differences between HFA and AS etc. We talked about the varying degrees of autism but that basically autism is autism and should be viewed as such. We talked also about strategies that have helped our children in school and was given a helpful tip for secondary transfer. One parent made a letter with a photo and a description of the child, with likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses etc, and gave a copy to every teacher the child was to be involved with so that everyone knew exactly what his needs were. This is definately something I'm going to do for Sam in September. Next session Monday, keep you posted. Kazz

Thanks everyone for your lovely replies. My only problem now is how we can fit Sams head through the door!!

Thanks for everyone for replying. I decided that I would ask the school what they want me to do. I'm fed up making decisions!. Sams teacher says he thinks that I should go, but decide when we get there whether or not to have Sam in my group or not, depending on his mood that day. Southend here I come. I'm getting nervous about it already, but I'm sure he'll be fine. Tizz, sort that school out! Kazz

Just wanted to share Sams KS2 SATS results with someone. He achieved what was expected of him, so there weren't many surprises, but with him you just never now how things will go. He got Level 5 for Maths and Science and Level 4 for English (Level 5 for reading though). 91% for Science and 97% for Maths, the highest mark his school has ever received!! I'm so proud and what's more, so is he. What a wonderful feeling when all the staff are commenting on how fantastic he's done for a change. Thanks for letting me gloat!!! Kazz

Hi guys, I'd really like some of your opinions on this one. My Sam is due to be going on an end of school trip to Southend Adventureland (theme park) next month. My eldest son went last year, and I went along too, as a helper, its was a great trip but there was lots of opportunities for the kids to wonder off, and misbehave, if they so desire. Which brings me back to Sam. He is dead keen to go, but I'm in a dilemma as to whether I should go too. He is often better in these situations ,when I'm not around but I just don't know if I can trust anyone with him enough, not to go. Any thoughts or experiences, please! Kaz

Hi Don't know if this will be of any help to you,but at Sams dx we were given a management plan, which was along the following lines Areas of needs i.e. ADHD, AS, Secondary Transfer Plan of Action, i.e. Continue with ADHD Clinic Refer Specialist Advisory Teacher for Autism Service Further input from TW (therapist) home visits AS workshops at health center Liaise with primary schoolto organise professionals meeting with secondary school SENCO. Sam was DX in March, and all of these plans are being put into action. The dx has made all of these provisions possible, and it has been a huge relief to finally get there after such a long battle, especially just in time for secondary transfer in September. In our area it seems very difficult to get into the system, but once you're there (and have found the right place), it appears to be working well. Hope this gives you some guidelines as to what can be expected, but I know that all areas vary so much, it so hard to compare. Take care Kazz

Agree with everyone else. We have all done something like this I'm sure. I know I have, on more than one occassion - so I'm not perfect who is? Kaz

Thanks for that, just hope I remember that far in the future. At the moment I'm having trouble with next week Kazz

The workshop was offered to us at the clinic when Sam was diagnosed. All the children are around his age (11-13). It tooks us years to get his dx and it was a bit of a battle, but now we're there at last, things seem to be moving. I really do wish I'd had some help years ago but better late than never eh? Apart from the workshops, we have a visiting therapist who comes to our home every week or so, at the moment to talk through issues with Sam and ourselves and at last the Advisory Team for Autism has contacted his school to say they will be in contact 'as soon as the caseload allows' (Well I guess that won't be before end of term - he leaves for secondary transfer, so hopefully they'll catch up with him then!!)

Hi I was just wondering if any of you have ever attended an Aspergers workshop, if so did it benefit you? We attended the first of a six week course on Monday, and so far it seems that it could really benefit us all. There are seven AS children in the group and their parents. The children are taken seperately from the adults and receive, music therapy, art, & craft, sport etc. Parents are then taken as another group. The first session this week was just getting to know each other and present our backgrounds experiences etc The 3 hour session just whizzed by. It was very sad but uplifting at the same time to listen to each other. Sam seemed to enjoy it too, though he wouldn't admit it, but was in a very good mood after. He said that the other kids were weird and that only a couple of them were 'normal' like him! In subsequent weeks we will be covering topics such as the differences between HFA and AS, behaviour management, sensory issues, education etc. But all discussion will be led by what we want to know. I'm really looking forward to next week, I'll keep you posted of how it goes. Kazz

Thanks everyone for taking the trouble to reply. Call me Jaded We have actually been thinking of Menorca, I've never been there myself, but I've heard food and drink is more expensive there than other places. Carol Hope you all have a great time. I'd love to hear how it goes for you. We would definately go self-catering, we like to work by our own timetable. Love the idea of a villa but not sure that it would give the kids enough to keep them occupied. Depends on location I suppose. My sister has a villa on the Costa Blanca but its not in walking distance of anything, though it is lovely - and cheap!! But we'd need a car the whole time, and I understand people carriers are quite pricey to hire. We would really like to not use a car much. Our holidays in England always seem to involve loads of in & out of the car and we feel like a break. Thought we might hire a car just for the odd day. Shame the weather here isn't always like it is today. I'd quite happily stay in England!! Kaz x