lsw146

HI, I posted a few times but not for a while becasue all of my energy has been in dealing with the difficulties aty home and trying to get the psycholgist to HELP . We still haven't had a diagnosis for our daughter although it has been acknowledged by her new High School and by the psychologist that she has social communcaition problems, anxiety, paranoia, ecentricity, odd posture, very advanced verbal skills, obsessive behaviors... but she is not ASD . respidral keeps coming into the conversation and our psychologist seems to be in agreement that we have triedeverything else and now that N is having panic attacks and some self harm (although not frequent) action must be taken. However only on psychiatrist is available in our service at the moment and we are not a priority. I ring every other day to see what is being done and have been to see my GP but to no avail. we are all exhausted and my younger daughter is very emotional and clingey. It is good to read the advice from others. The biggest thing our psychologist said was that respidral can increase the risk of self harm but I have found no evidence to support this, Anyone else heard this?

we have bought a wipe off / magnetic board to write out timetable and daily stuff and hung it on the wall. school doesn't start til Tuesday but B has already written her morning schedule and "where have I put my tie?" i hope we can all use it to benefit the household

welcome mirry, the forum is a place where you can never say too much there is always someone too listen. Hope it gets better with school. Keep fighting. jo

don't say older say wiser My eldest starts seniors on Tuesday and I am working very hard to keep my anxiety from showing. Good Luck and let us know how it went I know I will be sharing.

Thanks for you support Eleanor and Carole I would be even more lost without this forum. 2 more days to get back to it all so we shall see from there. Ijust hope I can keepit all in balance between children, home and work. Sometimes I feel so week and tired. Then I just feel down right pathetic. Ihear and see people going through much worse than I am and try to be stronger. I know deep down that we have got this far and will keep going.

Had a good cry and feeling a little calmer.

Hi they are �9.99 for 30 , one a day and a re on 3 for 2 at boots like all their supplements. Here is the content Omega-3 300mg of which EPA 160mg DHA 100mg Vitamin E 4mg Ginkgo bIloba 2.4mg They are veggie capsules but do have Dairy/lactose

I am full of anxiety as the new term approaches but B seems to be calm?! with a little manic thrown in for good measure. Feeling down and out. have I been over anxious or am I just wanting the best for my daughter? I don't feel compelled to seek help for my younger daughter but B ( the eldest ) is my enigma. I feel there is problem that needs help but sometimes I think I THINK too much. Sorry feeling miserable tonight. Have a babysitter should be feeling great but hubby not feeling well so babysitter not much use!

HI you should be able to get a referral through your GP althoug it differs from area to area.

I was thinking about this yesterday when B walked straight into a person as we walked back to our car. It isn't so much that the behaviour has changed but that it can't be explained away by being little. B still looks 9 rather than 11 but invading people's space or just walking into them without appology is no longer accepted. When I reminded B to applogise she said sorry to me not the person she bumped into which achieved even more of a stare than we already had. When she was a toddler people would say "don't worry" because the expect little ones to do these things but now she just comes across as rude.

hi All, just wanted to share. B has been taking Probrain for about 3 weeks and we have noticed a dramatic difference in her behaviour and attitude. We used to give Effalex but it stopped working and didn't have the same impact as this (she also hated taking so many and this is one a day) It doesn't actually have a child dose on the box but I have compared it to other fish oil combinations. I think it may be the combination on fish oil and Ginkgo Biloba that's helping. Of course the counsellor says she is just growing up - yeh 3 weeks makes all the difference Whether it is palcebo effect or medicinal effect B says she feels different and other family members who didn't know she was taking it have commented on how calm B seems and how the usual triggers aren't leading to meltdown. Especially considering she starts seniors on Tuesday her whole body looks calmer and she isn't doing her 'loud talking' voice. She is singing alot but that's a bonus I got them in Boots. Has anyone else tried this? Am I going mad believing in this tablet?

well appointment with counsellor was very wishhy washy. She tried very hard not to tell me directly that they think we have put far too much energy into analysing everything Bethan does . we have had a copy of the letter sent to her new school though outlining her "markedly uneven profile of development", her anxiety and her difficulties in completing work where writing is involved. It also points out her high IQ and the fact that her school achievement does not seem to reflect this. There main wish for B is that she starts this new school with a clean slate nad we give them a couple of weeks to watch B in action. They are sending a questionaire to her last school to ask about the difficulties in recording and social skills but I don't reckon school will have anything to say because thery always denied having any problems. After all she was never overly agressive, disruptive or dramatically failing in her work! But it's another step forward so i shall try to move on with it. PS They said we had got this far without a diagnosis it would be a shame to label her now unless it became absolutley necessary

the advice I was given when working with a child who constantly pulled hair was to tell the child to do something positive such as "x hands down" or "x hands on lap". Children with obsessive behaviours or communication problems often miss the "n't" part of a word such as "doN'T pull hair" and hear the reinforcing "PULL HAIR" You haven't said how you respond so I hope I am not teaching you to suck eggs!! PS this advice was from a really experienced Speech and Langauge Therapist and works well for all behaviours

Both my girls are quite balanced in their use of playstation/computer/telly. One of the games we have means they have to work together and it is quite a good guide to how B is feeling. Good mood they really cooperate, bad and all hell breaks loose! The only real problem we have is when they have been given a count down to come off for tea/ go out etc and they are in the middle of a stage, winning and can't save the game at that point. If they respond positively, ask nicely and there is no urgency I usually let them complete and save but if a meltdown starts the minute I say turn off, it gets turned off and they get time out. B likes the challenge of discovering the answers and getting the game to do what she wants. She also hates the games not doing what she wants! Of course this means they are faulty Again I monitor the signs of meltdown verses frustration and take action appropriately.

I know all very confusing!! Yes we are seeing a clinical psychologist same one on and off for the last five years. She had had a half hour chat with B about 2 years ago and then observed her in school (unnoficially because her child happened to be at the same school). from that she can apparently tell how socially appropriate B is. B has a gifted IQ and that was the original diagnosis but I always felt this masked other problems. B got a level 3 in her writing, 4 (2 marks off 5) in her maths and 5 in her science. This more than anything has made the psychologist see the problems haven't gone away. I don't want her school work to go any more a stray but more than that I don't want the effort of conforming in school lead to a dreadful home life. When we asked to be refferred back 2 years ago B had started pulling her hair out and scratching herself really hard, her Dad caught her saying she had bashed her leg but she was actually scarping her figner nails up and down it. I am not giving up. We see her counsellor for possibly the last time today so I will be very frank! As far as the PDD I know that it is part of the spectrum and was thinking of Not Otherwise Specified. I also know that it is more widely recognised in the States. I like others don't like the idea of labels but I will not be fobbed off with 'funny development' whilst B's school and home life suffers. Why should she be left floundering just because she doesn't ring all the alarm bells of the professionals? When I was told we should wait and see and I refused point blank. I told her I wasn't willing to wait another year whilst B suffered. That was when she agreed to emergency meetings etc. so today I will carry my rath with me to clinic and not hope for action but demand it/ Hope I can get through the next 2 and half hours and still feel confident!

Hi, had appointment with B's psychologist finally last week. I really pushed hard for assessment in the belief that this is the only way to get her new senior school to support her. It was a no go. The pyschologist said she didn't thnink we would have any problems getting a diagnosis of AS and that psychiatry would want to put her on respiridone. I pointed out that I didn't have to give her tablets just because they said so. She just didn't think AS was the answer. She reminded me that B is quite a social child and I reminded her of all the hard work we have put in as family teaching her these skills over the last 5 years. She agrees that she has a funny development and will find transition overwhelming leading to a breakdown in behaviour (it is erring on the well balanced side at the moment but with major meltdowns rather than bubbling trouble) well school starts in a week and all I have heard is they are going to do some questionaires to find out what she needs in school. I asked the secretary what these would be but no one has got back to me. we were also meant to be having an emergency meeting with the SENCo School had a letter in May outlining the problems and possible AS and I have tried to contact them without result. B is getting excited about school because she is ready for some mental stimulation. I am dreading it because I can see the sensory overload that will occur and the meltdowns! So now I am wondering whether AS is a red herring and wondering why i didn't bring up PDD-NOS at my meeting. Not that I think it would have got me any further. My mind is swimming. I am trying to stay calm as the new term approaches and I also go back to work (I am term time only) but I am going through the usual first kid to senior nerves ++++++. I just don't know what else to do.

My daughter hasn't got a diagnosis yet but I think life would be a lot easier if just the possibility that there is a problem was shared with all staff not just her form tutor. It took nearly 3 years and 2 primary school changes before staff started sharing reports and passing on information. She is now about to start senior school and the pastoral head of year was sent a letter outlining her difficulties and the possibilty of AS in June. We have left messages for him to contact us before the new year begins to no avail. So as director I would get a good training schedule up and running not only on how to identify problems and strategies for dealing with them but on how important it is to share information with all staff involved with that pupil Knowing that the message I sent the form tutor about B's bad night and meltdown has been passed on to the rest of the staff means they may better adapt to her mood that day and hopefully avoid another meltdown and the likelihood that she learns nothing that day because of the night before.

my daughter had these when she was younger but hey weren't that great. they tended to snap off at the crayon end and your left with the ball. My daughter didn't like this because she was even less able to control her lines and fine detail work. what worked much better were pencils (or grips on them) that are triangle shaped. My OT also gave her some exercises to do to help her hands feel how she was gripping the pencil. Her problems sre related to applying too much pressure and then her hands get tired. Early Learning do a good range of chubby and triangle grip but hey are becoming more widely available in most stationers

Jonathan your words really struck home with me. I try very hard with both my children to realise one is just a little girl and the other has real dificulties controlling her behaviour but I have to admit that sometimes when I am so tired I can't see straight that I find myself asking them if I am such a bad mother they can't just control themselves for five mintues or do they respect me so little that they can couldn't care less about how their behaviour makes me feel. This happens less and less but every tiem is once too much!

I think B's secondary school have a good varied menu and they have to pay on smrat card (electronic chip) which means we can ask for a print out of what she has been buying. I found out yesterday that this card was causing problems in its own right because B was worried about using the machine to charge it with money. Apparently the queue to charge money and the dinner queue often look like they are merging and she was worried about where to stand. fortunately I had read my info and knew that she can take a cheque to the schoool office instead of queeing (or maybe I will just arrange to do that myself) AS with everything it is the little things that everyone else takes for granted that cause heartache for our kids. And as we are still without a diagnosis getting school to listen is still a challenge!

My Mum seemed to be really coming around to our way of thinking so I left B's guide to AS for children for the family to read because it is so much clearer than a lot of leaflets. Her response was that B only has some of the problems mentioned and when I asked her why she though B behaved the way she did she said it was just her personality. I can only hope she is wrong because an 11 year old standing in the middle of a supermarket, rigid with her eyes shut and hands clamped over her ears trying not to have a meltdown is a 'personality' trait I would hope no young girl has. It also suggests there is no helping her but we have found many strategies that do just that!

gave me the giggles too...

My daughter's room is constantly awful and I have often wondered whether this is a sign that we are going along the wrong route in wanting assessment for AS but I have come to the conclusion that it is because she sees the detail and not the bigger picture. I am sure that when she enters her room she doesn't see chaos just lots of individual items. It is only when I point out the mess and ask her to organise it that she has meltdown. However after a few years of showing her how to organise and giving direct instructions on what should be put away where, things have got better. Her panic was in doing the tidying the wrong way and choosing where to put things?!

I am having similar worries about my daughter going off to senior school mainly because I think she will panic about having to choose and eat her food in the time between lessons and because she will have to queue and find an empty seat to sit in! At juniors the choice was limtied and she always sat in the same place with the same people - a whole new world awaits. She very cleverly thought she might write out her choices for the weeK in her planner (but what happens when the choice isn't there?!) and on her induction she saw a spot in the cafeteria where she thinks she can stand if she feels panicked. I could send packed lunch every day but it just another thing that she will ahve to carry around shcool with her as her new school has a no lockers or desks. Then she will probably leave it somewhere and panic anyway! meeting with the psychologist on wed to push for assessment so all the new school issues that are buzzing in my head can be aired as classic examples of B's difficulties. My Mum quite rightly points out that most children going to seniors will have these worries but I don't think most come home and have a huge meltdown because lunch wasn't right.

my nt daughter keeps helping out her aunty with her baby son by getting the MUSLIMS for her to wipe his mouth!!!