Hectorshouse

A friend of mine who is the guardian of an ASD/ADHD 9 year old boy has just had her letter from the LEA regarding their AR, the LEA have agreed to maintain the statement, but further down the letter they have also added that they are agreeing to the support requested by the school for lunchtime assistance ... Does this then mean that his current support at 0.6 fte has now been increased and as such this new support is not on the current statement of SEN and it will then have to be amended? and if it is to be amended aren't they meant to issue a new draft statement? HHxx

Phas has given you the right pointers for questions to ask the schools, it is a difficult decision to make. One thing I did when I visited loads of schools recently when we changed boroughs was I gave each SENCO or HT i met a copy of T's statement and all the advices that were attached, and then asked them for their 'honest' opinion whether they felt they would be able to meet T's needs and the provisions of the statement, as a successful placement was paramount and that considering T has already experienced so much failure and exclusions a placement that might be considered difficult or possibly fail would be untenable. Difficult I know, as no-one can guarentee success of a placement, but to my surprise (or not maybe) none of the 5 local schools SENCO's felt they could meet his needs. Although they cannot officially say no, there would've been no point in insisting T go to a school locally where the SEN provision was at best ropey. I would also ask how each school would provide for the needs of your DD's SEN, write down their answers and review them later, sometimes what might seem as good later becomes not so, and the answers they give might prompt more questions when you have had time to take them in properly. Another thing, when we first moved to Cornwall 3 years ago, before T's statement but post DX, the only school that had a place was a school thats sound very similar to your 2nd school, it turned out that although not in the best area and undersubscribed, they had the highest number of SEN children, they had tremendous experience, it was probably one of the best years T has ever had at school, they helped me through the first statementing process to enable that some provision was in place before the dreaded move to high school. I know how difficult these decisions are, but I am sure that you will make the choice that is the best for you all. Good luck, HHxx

<'> thanks paula, I was worried that I had posted something that might appear patronising. The reality is the idealised visioned of what we are meant to be is just that 'idealised'. I have used food for comfort and control, strived for a size 8 since I was 12 (ludicrous in hindsight), and it is still something I am fastidious about now, albeit not sooo obsessively as it once was. I have 3 older sisters and I know that they also have had the same battles with food, the eldest is 43 and a size 6, but she thinks she looks great although in reality she looks nearly 50 and haggard. The second sister (41) is a size 8 and was anorexic, when she was 15 she was 5.5 stone, and when she carried her twins to 42 weeks, her skin (because she was only 7 stone when she was pregnant and only put on 1.5 during the pregnancy) strecthed so much that she had 2 feet of excess skin with not elasticity, she is permanently disfugured because of problems with food. The third sister (40) is a size 16, but fluctuates between that and a size 10 every 18months or so. For all of us it has been about control and comfort, I have seen it affect all my sisters and all my nieces as well (4 all over 20), and none of the nephews. HHxx

Having had eating problems since I was 12 (bulimia) I get tired of this thin ethos ... now I struggle to put any weight on, the bulimia now only rearing its head occassionally, and I usually can sort myself out. The end result is the IBS I have always had is the bain of my life, somedays can't leave the house in fear of an accident, and it causes me serious pain. I am now one of those hated people 36 and a size 10, but I actually look quite horrid, very drawn, no boobs and always very pale. I dream of curves, and a bra that it not from the junior section. Being thin aint that fun. HHxx

Fed up, fed up with schools, I really do think that T's new school is a vast improvment in where he was before, but still I have similar problems. First I get told to leave it to the professionals with regard to the 'life skills lessons' aka anger managment, and still haven't been told what they are doing, T not being the most reliable form of communication as was suggested by the teacher. Couldn't make the lesson myself due to work committments. Second I find out that the handwriting sheets for T from his OT have been pooh poohed by the same teacher, as she told T that everyone gets these and not to bother (aarrrgggghhhh!!!!!) Thirdly we have had a homework argument today, T doesn't remember what he has to do most of the time, it was meant to be done in school and with the shifts I work its damn near impossible to do at home and he's soooo tired when he gets back from school he can't do it anyway, if we leave it to the weekend it spoils the whole weekend with meltdowns ... so basically I won't do it. Am calling the SENCO today, this isn't parental involvement or proper communication and me arguing with T about it all just makes matters worse, its these little things that become huge issues, is it me, am I overreacting, I don't know, but my instincts are up and I'm tired of being patronised by teachers. HHxx

feeling ever so slightly scrambled ....

deos tihs maen taht it dseont mttear waht i witre or how i sepll it ... it'll mkae snese? duobfutl me tinhks HHxx

I was sent this by a friend after a discussion about it in the pub where I work, I would be interested if other people can read this ... also I am going to see if T can read some or part of it, throws up some interesting questions into how we read ... Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs psas it on !! HHxx

Hi Clarkie, only just caught up with this, what a blooming mess (very polite wording from what I actually thought) you and I have the same MP and I have been in communications with him over T's probs as well, he is very good, and doesn't take any sh*t from DCC, although I have found from personal experience and recent communications between our MP and DCC the DOE is not always as informed as he could be, and I know that there is a momentum at the moment in the council to reduce the number of out of county placements due to ... yep you guessed it funding constraints ... but it has been acknowledged that there is little in the way of alternative 24hr curriculum provision within DC (unless you consider EBD residential schools). Definitely get the big guns out, I would be tempted to email John Wright at IPSEA direct with the details of your case, I think I have his addy somewhere I'll pm you if I find it. Also contact the Express & Echo its amazing what press coverage can do, the contact is Angelina Lambourne, and her addy is on the website. You have done so much, and R has come so far, if you can keep up the momentum and maintain the strength to face the battles ahead. We are here behind you and will help in whatever way we can. HHxx

Nvapid I don't think it is a legal requirement it is a recommendation if it is considered appropriate, but we as parents and our children don't have to agree for our children to be involved if we beleive it to be inappropriate. Toby has kind of remembered what he did now, apparently they played 'oranges and lemons' but he can't remember what social skill it was to help with. The other children in the group (6 in total + TA's) include a girl with a stutter, two boys who keep getting chucked out of lessons and an extremely hyperactive boy, the others he can't remember .... me thinks that this isn't a totally appropriate group for T, but I'm sure if I was too mention this I would be told off again and told to leave it to the professionals. HHxx

Yes you can refuse to see this doctor, you have a parental right over this, I'm not sure of the exact legislation but I have been in a similar position. You have your own GP and I assume a peaditrician as well, this is enough and anyone can ask them for their opinion with your permission of course. You can also use these doctors for medical evidence for SEN and not the school doctor. HTH HHxx

Thanks for all the replies, I think that I am still very over protective of T considering his previous experiences with schools and behaviour management programmes this is understandable. T didn't want to do this group work yesterday morning, but by the time he got to school had changed his mind and I had a phone call from the teacher involved with T checking that it would be alright. I asked her about the strategies etc ... was told that it was that used for children with EBD/EMD (not sure what EMD is?) and that they have had coniserable success with these classes, also that they did not usually have a meeting with parents to discuss this .. (I was not impressed by this!) but that if I felt so strongly about it I could come along to the next session. Also I was told to let the professionals do what they know best ... (I was fuming at this comment!!!) what about parental involvement, professionals or not, I know my son best, I have been the one who has had to put him back together after other so called professionals have got involved ... So not happy about with the teacher for this, but on the up side T said he enjoyed it, but couldn't remember what they did either Anyway, will be following it up this week and making sure I am at the next session, and I quiet word with the teacher and senco about the lack of parental consultation. A more pressing problem at the moment to deal with though is T's hearing, he had cronic glue ear from 3mths to 8 years, 2 lots of grommets and adenectomy later he could hear although it was just within the normal ranges. His hearng has taken a downward turn again, he has been complaining that he couldn'thear much in his left ear, the school nurse did a hearing test and it showed that he had NO hearing on the left side, so off to the GP's we go to see if its back to ENT again! No wonder the world is confusing for T, espcially now he can only hear on oneside, partial hearing can be worse than none, because people assume that because you have heard some things you have heard it all, when actually you have little idea of whats going on or being said, and having ASD just makes things even more fun. HHxx

Hi everyone I know its been a while, lots of things have been going on and I don't want to bore anyone with that old chestnut ... but to the matter in hand ... T came home yesterday talking about Anger Management classes that he was going to be having once a week with other children like himself. I fished the letter out of his bag ... good ole pupil post, and scrapped the residue of his lunchbox off it ... apparently T is to join a 'life skills' group AKA anger management at school, it is going to start TODAY! T was upset about it, and although he knows he has problems with frustration he doesn't think he needs this, I haven't been informed either until yesterday, there is no mention of what strategies they are using, what children will be involved whether they are ASD or EBD or both, what level of success they have had, and basically no parental consultation with me!!!! Am I right to feel uncomfortable about this, I have sent the letter back to the school with my comments on it and saying that until this has been fully discussed with me and T I am not happy for him to be included at this time. HHxx

We got this list from the LEA when we were in Cornwall but Devon have never deemed it appropriate to supply me with such info ... bless them! HHxx

Hi Tez, T has/had the same problems with intonation/prosody, he has a real love for music and singing, and completely by accident when we bought him his first karoke machine we noticed a difference. When he started singing he managed to use different emphasis in his voice and stresses etc ... basically what I'm trying to say is that has really helped T with his monotoness (sp?) and level of volume with his voice. Its only a suggestion and its something that happened completely by accident, but has helped. HHxx

Hi Carole, I will sort something for you this week, also just noticed that old Hans and I have the same birthday .... expect its not my 100th! HHxx

just saying hi, feeling a bit phased out at the moment, a week off work and I still feel I could sleep for england. I get so caught up in the whole education thing, which is ok as I know I can handle it, but sometimes don't you just wish for a normal daily existence ... I don't mean to moan, I have had a really good week and so has T but just feel totally exhausted of late ... I try to trust his new school, but find it really hard, not so surprising I suppose when you think what have been through with others, but just everything makes me feel tired. I love being on here, but I know its not real life either, this is an escape and a support that helps me through. I dunno just feeling a bit down for no real reason, and probably a bit needy, but hey ho ... I would love to meet my krism buddies in a bar and have a proper drink and laugh, share ASD ancedotes and toast the future. HHxx

Hi Ksnanic .. have just been through this and I fully appreciate your worries, as far as NHS stuff goes it is a case of insistence and gettng your old specialist to contact new specialist in our new area. As far as the new area goes, the new lea HAS to comply with the statement unless they can prove that it is an inefficient use of funds, which in your case I don't think it is as it just a couple of miles difference, there will howeve be some wrangling over responsibility etc .. IPSEA are really good at this and I have quite a bit of experience at the hard end so to speak ... its been a long day, but I have loads of legislation regarding SEN and moving boroughs that may be of help, all I can say is don't panic we are here to help, unfortunately th NHS and PCT trusts are a rule unto themselves but LEA stuff I can pass on. Hang in there, HHxx

CQ my thoughts are with you and yours <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> not a happy christmas and new year for you all, but I hope that things get better real soon HHxx

dobbie, I know that you said your son doesn't have a statement and that your LEA are notoriously bad at giving them, but I think it is something that needs serious consideration. Without a statement there is little protection for our children, the ways in which teaching staff communicate with your son for example could be included in the statement. Your pead has said that remaining in M/stream will be good for socialisation, but again, if this was written into the statement social skills appropriate for your son could be devised, rather than just lumping him together with everyone else as a form of socialisation. Your OT report will also have recommendations, if not you need to ask for them, for the school to work with and support his dyspraxia, again these can be included in a statement. Without a statement the school don't have to do any of the above ... and most won't. I don't mean to pressure you, but I think maybe it needs considering, and there are many many people here who can guide you throught the process. HHxx

well have to end, but body boarding is a good

Just found this on another site, some of them are actually great fun, I particularly like the one that goes 'grandma got run over by a reindeer' I know they are for the children, but I have just wasted half an hour playing with them ... HHxx http://www.priorywoods.middlesbrough.sch.u...rces/videos.htm

limply in front of me, the wood worm finally won.

IMHO = in my honest/humble opinion

Was your son the only witness to this verbal abuse? The SENCO has acted very unprofessionally, don't take this lying down, children with SEN and/or disabilities have the right to be treated with respect and empathy, to be called ignorant by a SENCO is absolutely awful and cannot be allowed to go on. I would get in touch with school and ask for a copy of their SEN code of practice ... I notice from your earlier posts that he doesn't have a statement, what level of support is he on school action or school action plus? I would also ask for a copy of their complaints procedure as well, all of this information should be readily available to parents and be free. HHxx