tracey

Thank you both for your replies this morning started like any other with my forcing her to get up hopefully to start her lessons to no avail I suggested we go swimming liked the idea but wont go out anywhere is now laid on my bed listening to music which she loves I hate seeing her like this and would love to see her going around with other teenagers she just doesnt seem to want to do anything Tracey

Hi Hoping for abit of advice my daughter 14 has been off school since march due to many problems mainly friends. she also has had a few illnesses and had to be rushed to A&E twice this week with servere stomach pains she has been sorted out with yet more medication added to what she takes for ashma hayfever etc the problem is for the last few months she seems to be in the house 24/7 mainly laid on the settee we do some school work but some times it takes me all day to get her motivated as she seems to have no energy Also when I try to get her to go out it takes so long to get ready make-up hair clothes everything has to be absolutely perfect I am so worried that at such a young age all her time is spent on the settee camhs have a girls group during the hols and we have been offered a lift there as I dont drive but getting her to go is another thing I think she wants to but panicks athe last minuite also if anything goes wrong she will give up and refuse to go any one been through similar tracey

Hi tabz I dont post here much but just read your posts and had to say it sounds so much like what my daughter is going through shes 15 this year after I took her out of school for 3 months she returned a couple of weeks ago first day was on a high everything was fine after that things went back to normal main things were other kids making snide comments to her and the group she was in tended to leave her out ,run off be spiteful and generally play on her weaknesses once again she is off school and I am at the moment trying for a transfer only the other school has no places I have reinstated camhs for help and hopefully I will get her in and things will be better for her although I think everyone thinks she will possibly have the same problems at any school, but I think a fresh start may do her good and ther must be some decent kids somewhere out there with a similar personality to my daughter who has her ways but would never hurt anyones feelings and is never spiteful. Tracey

have been in similar situation with my daughter most of the time it was simply that she hated school sometimes she felt ill used to try force but getting her to school at the best of times was hard enough shes 14 I know everyone including my youngster thinks im too soft actually there probobly right but i hated too think she was having a rough time at school At the moment shes been off 2 months and probobly will not go back there am at the moment sorting out other arrangements Tracey

Thank you all for replies and sheading some light on why the blood tests will be done as I wasnt sure am trying to get my head round the whole chromosome thing Think maybe these tests will be a good thing Tracey

After apt with doctor for a neurological examination I was told my daughter could have a blood test for a chromosomal analysis since there is an increasing number of areas on different chromosomes which appear to be associated with autism anyone know anything about these tests as I am abit baffled Tracey

I too wonder if more help can be given to sensory issue my daughter cant stand clothes, bedding etc if its uncomfortable can be put off of going to certain places because of the smell hearing almost bionic had too stop going swimming as for ages afterwards she can feel the water swooshing in her ears T

Tez thanks for your reply Like I said at the moment my daughter is feeling confident enough to go back to school on monday I would love her to go back so that shes mixing but I also want the best for her happiness If things fall through with school I will be contacting her consultant for a letter to EWO Last resort really I should be feeling positive about her going back but weve got to this stage many times before only for panic to take over and were back to square 1 Tracey

just something I forgot to mention in my last post when I discused home tuition with EWO she clearly stated if we did get it (through a letter from consultant) it would only be a tempory thing ie. termly is this correct?? I havent got intouch with consultant yet as my daughter is adamant shes going back on monday shes thinking very positive at the moment what monday will bring is anyones guess Tracey

An update to say how we've gone on EWO just left after been here over an hour my daughter sat with us for some of the time but would not open up at all to talk about her problems she just sat there looking bored We discussed home tuition which would only be possible if I got the consultant who sees my daughter to write a letter to the EWO stating difficulties of getting to school then it would be thought about Flexi schooling was not mentioned as I think she thought the same problems would be there. To be honest I think within the first 10 mins of meeting my daughter she thought she was just being stubborn and explained to her the fact that parents sometimes have to go to court if their children do not go to school. I did explain certain issues and the problems my daughter has. The next stage then is to phone the consultant tomorrow to get a letter sent through to the EWO stating difficulties and go from there. Tracey

Thanks for all replies I can understand the point made regarding part time schooling and sometimes things work when you dont expect them to. At the moment I just seem to be at a loss as its not just school sometimes its hard for her to go anywhere if panic sets in. Which is why Im hoping some home tutoring may be offered although I dont want her to be isolated Well EWO will be here soon will post in on how we got on Tracey

Have posted a couple of times this month regarding my daughter not being in school for various reasons Took the advice from a couple of you on hear and contacted the EWO as I'd only delt with senco up to now, the EWO is due in a couple of hours and Im not quite sure what to expect my daughter is not statemented so whether I will be offered any home tutoring I dont know Its holidays here at the moment and today my daughter is saying yes I will go back and give it a go but come monday morning it'll be a different story for a start school totally stresses her out problems are endless Have a feeling part time schooling is going to be mentioned unfortuanatly this would not work as she hates stand out in any way Any advice Tracey

Thanks for all replies The support my daughter does get from cahms is a lady who sees her every few months and I must admit she talks so soft and quiet she switches off obviously not what shes used to School are basically doing all we ask them to do considering she does not like to stand out in any way for fear of nasty comments from other kids She has one specific day a week to see the senco discuss problems but never wants to go has been told to go to her anytime if needed Teenage years have come with lots of problems like wanting to look perfect been frightened of standing out all these things which never bothered her afew years ago which is why I dont think part time schooling would help We are moving some time this year which I hope she will benifit from a fresh start Tracey

Thanks for your reply Kathryn I have just spoke to my daughter and she expressed her anxieties about school and the problems she has how she takes all the comments from other kids to heart Maybe home tuition is the answer and im pushing her to go when she is really unhappy I just dont want her to feel isolated and down It breaks my heart to feel at such a loss at what to do Tracey

I posted last week saying I could not get my daughter to go to school since then it had been very hit and miss in one day off two At the moment she will not get up at all in a morning she finds it difficult to get to sleep so I know shes tired was adviced from afew of you to contact the education welfare officer which I did today they will contact me tomorrow It seems to me theres one problem after another the school work issues have been sorted the friendship issues are getting sorted now she wont get out of bed I feel at the moment the only road to go down is home tutoring if I can get this the thing is she will then be isolated from her friend at school Shes been struting about with an I dont care I can do what I like attitude then sometimes I feel shes miserable I just want her to be happy at the same time I cant let her have her own way all the time I have even said about residential school although it was more of a threat it does make me wonder if it might do her good Any advice anyone as im losing my mind Tracey

sleep is a real problem for my 14 y old most nights its gone midnight as she says she just cant drop off also reads for ages and sneakily watches tv which I am going to take out of her room sun-fri as she is not getting up for school I am also going to try horlicks you never know T

I was looking into the home tutoring thing back in january but couldnt seem to get much info on this and was told I would have to pay for private tuition my daughter is not statemented so whether this makes a difference. It seems abit harsh my saying about residential but I do wonder if she isnt just being stubborn and realizing she is getting her way by not going to school. Its a vicious circle I seem to spend half my time struggling to get my daughter to school ie. sorting problems, getting her out of bed, the stress of her temper when things go wrong and are not perfect and the other half of the time I spend worrying about her when shes actually gone. Tez you asked if the EWO were involved well I have no dealings with them the only people at our meetings other than myself and my daughter were the senco and 2 members of camhs. Tracey

My daughter was off school for 3 weeks as she was having problems mainly with friendships had meeting last week sorted afew things out After putting in one day this morning she would not get up even though i told her she had to go. By not turning in she is making things worse as her friend is hanging round with others I think the reason this morning is being tired as she hardly sleeps Things have got so bad I told her she would have to go to residential school as I just cant seem to get her to go, how do you get a stubborn 14 y old out of the door If its not one thing its another probs at school, things going wrong in morning as everything has to be perfect, now she wont even get up I feel like im banging my head against a wall We are moving in afew months into an area where the school is walking distance which will help a little but it doesnt help the actual getting out of the door situation. Anyone had similar probs ?? or had experiences with residential school for teenagers T

My daughter has totally wrecked her bedroom door (brand new) I am now trying to get my house ready to sell and wondering whether its worth replacing her door or will it happen again??? what gets me is my daughter can behave so awful and drive me insane but as soon as shes out of my sight I worry about her as she can be so vunerable and other teenagers can be such spitefull little........ T

Thanks for your reply Tez No I havnt deregistered her from school (I dont really know much about this) Are you saying it is a good idea not to, and if I do does this mean I would not be able to get any home tuition. I cant see my doctor signing her off sick as he isnt the most understanding. I have contacted the school and asked for work to be sent home the senco said she would do this. Anymore info from anyone???????? Thanks T

Have just taken my daughter out of school as she hates it so much, getting her to go was an absolute nightmare. There is possibly another school in the area she could go to, at the moment I am waiting to hear if there is a place for her (shes 14) The thing is I am planning on moving in around 4-5 months so Im wondering if its worth the hassle of another school in the meantime as I know it would be a job getting her to for a start she would have to catch 2 buses and I know she would prefer to be at home, although I think she needs to be around other kids. I wonder if anyone else has been in this position and if a home tutor could be the answer just until we move I know private tutors can be quite expensive so does anyone know if you can get this paid for or any other information on this I would appriciate it At the moment I am doing abit of work with her from some books I got from WH Smiths but believe me I am no teacher any help would be great as I feel at a bit of a loss Thanks T

Hi Kathryn Mornings can be such a nightmare! I really try hard to be carm and chilled which is not easy It just takes one small thing to go wrong to set things off teenage years I think bring on so many more problems(perfection etc) I now try and stand back and let my daughter get on with it as much as possible and just be there when Im needed, and not to worry too much about days off school which can sometimes be quite alot. T

Delyth Thanks for your advice and tips I think its worth speaking to my GP before my appt in 2 weeks if any funding is available it would be a great help T

hi Believer Just read your post Thanks for taking the time to get back to me It all sounds very interesting (and very confusing) Am looking forward to seeing the Homeopath wonder if she is similar field to a naturopathic physician???? Thanks again T

Hi kathryn I can relate to what your saying my daughter is almost 14 and she seems to want to go out and do things but due to things not always going to plan or lots of little things going wrong she sometimes just gives up which annoys her terribly and gets really cross at herself saying she hates the way she is. I always find myself saying I cant wait for her to leave school as every morning is stressful actually getting her there but I can understand your position and feel for you, T