Elouise

Nathan is autistic and can NEVER pass for NT no matter how hard he tries it simply oozes out of the boy to the point he now wears a 'I am not weird I am gifted' badge. Jo manages it except when we all traipse off to see the specialist team when she can be found arguing she does not need a label as she opted for joining in with the geeks and Goths at school thank you very much. Annie seems to oscillate in her own little dream world filled with fish and dragons and disorganisation. Sam manages to do school and unwinds like an overwound clock spring all over the house in at anyone who gets in the way of his wind down from being 'school Sam' routine. I manage to keep it together at work (I work part time) by running through a constant mental check list of 'Is someone else going to look at me doing this this way and think weird' I get my written reports proof read to check for my habitual following a rabbit trail that caught my attention but was not relevant to the purpose of the report. My sister cannot hold it together at work for more than half a day but she is so valued for her intellect they allow her 'eccentricities' *coughs* let her work from home and have 'toys' in the office to unwind with. She is the only person I know who can get away with silly putty at executive meetings. We ALL crawl homewards at the end of the day exhausted from wearing our public faces and fall through the front door and slam that horrible world outside and get on with our mad happy bouncy bubble worlds that revolve around each other lightly touching. It is a bit like stripping off your 'work clothes' and putting on your normal clothes you feel happier and more comfortable in.

If you need a proven IQ to summit for education placement or similar consideration contact. http://www.bps.org.uk/ I cannot advise you on the best IQ test I am not a qualified chartered psychologist. You can go back to your psychologist and ask for a copy of the last written report that included your IQ test.

Your connexions worker will be the person who needs to liase with everyone. Each college has its own admissions criteria so talk with your mum about what type of things you would like a college to offer you. Your views are seriously considered in post 16 placements so think what type of things you would value being able to do. Nathan wanted to do photography and stone carving and anything arts and crafts related He also wanted to learn how to look after himself as he wants his own flat and knows he needs help to aim that high. He wants to have a part time job that is arts and crafts based and live in a winniebago. This is what Nathan wanted a college to help him achieve. You need to think what you want to achieve and then ask your mum to be your advocate with connexions.

Then you have to prove that you NEED rather than WANT a place at a special college. You have to prove your needs cannot be meet with support and transport in colleges in your area. You have to prove that without a specialist college your development towards independance would be impaired. You HAVE to have reports from CAHMS; education psychologist; doctors who work with you; social worker; speech therapist; previous school and so on. The onus is on you or your parents to put forward your case for consideration of funding but before you can even get the funding you have to get a place. Nathans efforts to secure a place made looking for teeth in hen's mouths look an easier option. The other comment was aimmed at the others reading this thread who will be doing so because they like me face trying to secure a special college placement for their children.

british association of Psychologists might be the best place to begin enquiring. There are many types of IQ test available.

It is a shortened form of aspergers used by those who find their asd gives them an advantage that being NT (neuro-typical) denies them. Its used most by those who see having aspergers in a positive light. I use Aspie as I do think it makes my life rather than destroys it.. My sister uses autistic because she is and struggles day in day out. My eldest son uses autty as he thinks being autistic is better than being boring and normal and not being able to paint with a camera. Sam uses Aspergers syndrome as he is very formal and pendantic and thinks shortened words are the worst thing anyone can use.

Okay what he proberly meant was please do not go down that route as it will take time and m-o-n-e-y to fill in the forms and wring the cash out of LSC and social services combeined. In other words if you are NOT already in a special school you will have a fight on your hands to prove your needs can only be meet in a specialist college and NOT with a bit of support in a FE or HE college. However there is a list on the web. It does not name a single college but it provides a full list of all members of the Association of National Specialist Colleges. The website is here for any of you who have kids who are 13+ and need to begin to search for the next place for your children. http://www.natspec.org.uk/ (ps it has a useful interactive map page so you can check out what is near to home)

You can also ask at your local library if your library services can track the book down for you to borrow. Books on autism tend to be available for higher education students and stored in main libraries but local branches can order them in for a four week loan. If your income is small it is worth 'trying' a book and if you think it was worth reading then ordering it.

There is a full listing on line of all UK specialist special educational needs colleges too. *but I would need to hunt in my pute for the URL and that has to wait till after work.*

Annie has one of the worlds worst short term memories I have meet in a young child. She scraed her lovely pead' with just how bad it can be. Annie also has terrible dyslexia and cannot sequence, organise or store new information she has to learn everything by rote. (poor kid) Dyslexia can be one of those sneaky hidden co-morbidities that hides behind ASD. Have a read up on dyslexia and see if you think that might me a direction to look at. Sam has similar seeming problems but in his case its ADHD...no attention span! I think this is something worth talking to a peadiatrician about even if it is soley to seek reassurance this is normal for your son when compared to his family.

I asked for 'spare head four' as the one I have appears to have a form of droid rot. Epilim helps as does the new nasel zomig stuff *I could kiss the feet of whichever nice person came up with the idea of 5HT atagonists.....today its all nicely cushioned in pink fluff. It still hurts but at a distance. *sighs* thanks to this I need to see the student disability advisor as no one wants to see me crash out again screaming that something was ripping my brain out whilst clawing at my face. Nathan says I can NEVER tell him off for acting weirdly in public again given some of the stunts I have pulled backed up by intense pain this week. Thank GOD for the NHS and drugs on prescription! Smileymab, Good thinking. I have been in and out of hospital migraine clinics for the past 20 years; when things play up badly I go chat with the neurologist who specialises in pain management/migraines/ cluster headaches. I am not going to get rid of the rotten things so I aim to manage them rather than have them manage me. (that is the theory anyway) I have a formal diaognosis of severe classical migraine with aura that is phototriggered and have now had added in suspected cluster headache that has been hidden behind the severety of the problems caused by the migraines themselves. The two types of headache are very differant. I can live with migraine. I cannot live with cluster pain! Kirstie; if you ever get a migraine that bad again get a doctor to check you over unless that is normal for your migraines. Your right when the aura spreads across your whole body not just your vision its horrible.

I am pretty certain that all mainstream colleges can access LSC funding for courses for students with special educational needs. SOME but not all special colleges meet LSC funding requirements. Its best to use the NAS list of colleges for post 16 students and ask if they are an LSC approved college.

I only have four children; three of whom have special needs and one who is twistedly gifted. ( Jo is a babygoth who uses darker than thou romatic outlook to upset her teachers) I also work and in my spare time (laughs) study for a degree. I know from my own life with a bigger than average family that it is not always to pick up and respond to as many things or people as I would like. At work my in tray wants to fall over, at home my post and email piles up so i spend time shifting trying to work out if something is important, something I would like to respond to if time allows or something that is not something I need to worry about. Jackie has more children and an even busier life than me. It may not be possible for any of the Jackson family to find the time to respond individually to any mail you send via e-mail or snail mail BUT...if you look around on this board you will also find high functioning aspies *waves* who you can communicate with.

Nathan...from birrth. He was hypotonic, hated being held or talked to, had flexed fingers and overlapping toes. He was bad enough the peads kept trying to find downs syndrome I was convinced he had a disability and was 'wrong' somehow even by my families 'odd' newborn' standards. Sam oh MY. The lad never stopped crying or attempting to gum his way out of his hospital cot from the moment he was delivered by c/sec and he is still on the go some nine years on. Annie is an up and down one whose difficulties could be the result of a rough neonatal ride and Jo is well Jo. All in all they are most definatly my kids. I doubt I would know what to do with a normal child.

Your right he will. As he is so emotionally involved in wanting this whale to have been alright if he finds out accidently the whale died you knew and did not tell him. consider steeling yourself to tell him the whale died before he sneaks down and finds it on the web or on a news report. It will NOT stop him being hurt but over the years I found being honest with my lot was the only way to tackle tough emotional ones like this. This does not mean this would work for Mikey it would depend on his ability to understand and your his mom you know him best.. Annie screams and hides but then deals with this by analysising the 'whys' so she can come up with ways of preventing this sort of thing happening.

It is NOT fair! I am supposed to have meetings this week for Sam and Annie at school. They have had to be cancelled. Nathan needs me to chase his social worker and so on for the extra payments to give him his full 52/52 week college placement. I have more work than I know where to begin with at work to do having lost the last two weeks *swears* and the headaches from HELL are back. Lucky me. Migraine I CAN live with but these are absolute (insert expletitive of choice) they have stopped me tackling anything for the kids! The only good thing is they hurt so much I hauled the Drs receptionist almost over the counter when she told me the Dr had no appointments untill tomorrow. I have a vague recollection of expressing my desired wish she could have the headache if she thought it was not a problem that could wait and at least for now I have a selection of drugs to play with to find something that works...but oh HECK...the timing as ever is awful Excuse me whilst I moan and scream it is NOT fair I am female and I do not smoke and rarely drink! The nasty bit was when I crawled into the kitchen and found Nathan in the absence of Jo had cooked for everyone for the past three days * * Bless him he tried so hard but I doubt I will ever get it clean again and some things are burnt beyond even Sams abilty to recognise what it was before it flamed. Only another three to four weeks of this to go *I HOPE*

My youngest Annie does. Her bed is covered with cuddly fish, cuddly octupuses, cuddly whales cuddly crabs, the whales are covered with posters of Nemo, Sealife Centre and odd snippets from any newspaper. Her book shelves feature books on .....she only wants to go to the beach to cuddle the whelks! Annie does not think the whale in the Thames will make it; she thinks it may have been ill to get lost.

Yes to the second but I also have to admit that Aspergers and difficult moments' and 'The Explosive Child' were far more darn use!

Nathan has a statement but when he moves to his college in sept the funding no longer comes from the education authority for his education but from the Learning Skills Council. Connexions will produce a report outlining the difficulties and apply for funding from the LSC for a specialist college. They can also apply to CAMHS and social services for part funding too. You can have a child with a registered disability who does not require a statement of educational needs and vice versa. Many have both but not all children with a special need meet the criterai for having a special educational need. If the child is registered as disabled see if that is an acceptable alternative for meeting the college criteria. Different specialist colleges have differing intake criteria so it is always worth looking around and getting as much information on intake criteria as possible.

The ONLY time I have EVER carried a punishment out at home for a wrong doing at school was when Nathan in a fit of pique and surly rage aka 'Kevin the Autistic' teenager with knobs on had one of 'his little moments' and pitched his PE teacher down the stairs for saying hallo to him whilst behind him. Rather than send a note the school called me straight in . I recognise the noise of my bundle of fun when he has one of those tempers on him. Callin me in to deal with him is the ultimate sanction the school has! This was because Nathan was being plain bad; not because he did not understand or disliked the teacher he was simply throwing his 6' height plus weight about in a new school setting trying to be in charge whilst showing off. I have since told him he must never pitch into anyone with smaller hands than he has! He certainly lost his playstation for THAT! I would expect an explanation as to what a child had done that was so awful that parental disapproval would need to be sounded around the place on arriving home. Nathan achieved it but i would question what your son HAD done to warrent this and try to come up with more effective and approbraite stratergies to reward good behaviours and sanction only the worst as part of his education plan (not his IEP the OTHER part in meeting his needs) (PS the tecaher was okay just badly bruised with mild concussion from hitting everystair on the way down)

NATHAN DID IT He has been offered a place at xxxx (name removed by moderator) College Nathan if your reading....WELL DONE MATE! *exits doing happy dance as this is what Nathan wanted most of all for his post 16 provision.*

The books about Tacky can be found on Amazon if you run a google search. You wil also find a heap of teaching resources based around Tacky aimmed at raising awareness of 'differances' and 'ethical responses' to 'differances' aimmed at Infant school children. Not all will be helpful but it should give you some ideas in how to begin to communicate. Sam also suggests you use Disney's 'The Increadibles' . Sam identifies with Dash being forced to be normal when all he wants to do is run around and work maths like crazy. Jo says the phrase 'What does anyone in this family know about normal' rings true too. Hope those help.

Oreo. When Nathan has calmed down from too much change from Christmas and fireworks for new year I will ask him to come and look at your posts especially your question on a webpage. Nathan is my eldest son. He also has classical autism. Nathan also has a severe communication disorder. He has been beaten up and mugged because he cannot read body language. He hates school. He prefers being at a special school and refusses to go back to mainstream for education. He calls his social worker 'elaine the pain' from the Tracy Beaker stories or Claire in the community from radio 4's programme called 'Claire in the community' when he thinks she is being unhelpful and not listening to him. His speech therapist has always been kind to him and helped him by using photos of things he knew; then symbols then signs and then speech as Nathan prefers to use speech to pecs. Nathan has also 'sacked' speech therapists who 'did not do autism'. He is nearly 16 and uses computers films and photography to protest and communicate about autism to other people. Nathan will sometimes communicate on web forums with others who are also autistic. He finds those with aspergers like Sam and most of the rest of his family too difficult to follow as we use words whereas Nathan prefers pictures to communicate with. There may be others who are here who are Autistic who do not post often because it takes them so long to type a post. Nathan will read more than he is willing to post on the web as it takes him a long time to type too.

I used 'Tacky the Penguin' as a starting point for explaining to 4-6 year olds when Sam started in mainstream when he moved from his old autistic special school. Its not specifically about Aspergers but its a story of a very differant penguin who stands out amongst more normal penguin behaviours. Sam still has his battered old copy and his cuddly penguin called guess what Sam the tacky penguin.

Sam is *hopefully* tucked up in bed with Mr Beans teddy and a nice copy of N track railway layouts . Annie was grapled rocking and screaming and shoved into bed by 7 with a hottie bear and the black out curtuins up. Both are angry with me for taking them to the art supply shop to buy some sale priced decent rag acid free watercolour papers. Sam hit overload from blue lights in the towns Christmas trees by 3pm and began to scream in horror for the next two hours. Imagine that in a small specilaist paper suppliers followed by an hours drive back home. My ears still hurt. Thank GOD the BBC had repeats of wall to wall Dr Who on tonight. It finshed annie off completely but made Sam slow down and more importantly shut up. Nathan I left with his dad as he decided we ARE having a party tonight because he will NOT go to bed. He keeps tryng to force feed me choclate ginger biscuits on the grounds he thinks I like them. I think Jo is still in the house as she broke out all over with eczema from head to foot thanks to the stage make up she used last week and she refussese to let any of her friends see her so she is hiding upstairs listening to HIM. The black out curtains are drawn. The house is secured. Roll on nathans school taxi reappearing on thursday! The rest of us are going to bed and if Nathan is silly enough to stay awake all night giggling at fireworks he can do so! Going back to work on Wednesday suddenly looks rather nice.